the_conqueror_of_parodies

A parody of "Cherry" as performed by Harry Styles

Parody number: 3,542

Please don't hurt my friend, he's having a good time! He's not completely wasted!

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Coo-coo

Don't you call him "crazy" Normally he's saintly A little off his rocker, a small folly

I, I attest That this isn't him while at his best I'm workin' on restrainin' him So just hold back With the tasers and the tiny nets He's not worth all that just yet

Don't you call him "crazy" Hasn't yet gone nakey Sure, he just took his shirt off, a small folly

I, I did miss I did miss what started this whole bit Do you know what he's taken yet? That'll help me work out if a tarp is what I'll need

Don't you call him "crazy" A nice guy innately Doesn't know the object that he holds, please Don't you call him "crazy" (coo-coo) Just a little hazy Is a rooftop dance that big a folly (coo-coo)?

Ah-ah Coo-coo (ah-ah) Coo-coo (ah-ah) Hey-ah (ah-ah)

Coo-coo? Oh no, oh, he's not that crazed He's not [laughter] no problem at all [more laughter] Maybe he's just a tad plastered but…but…but…but Okay, your way

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A parody of "Formation" as performed by Beyoncé

Parody number: 3,541

It's one thing to see groups work together. It's quite another when they all join hands and form a giant wolf or some shit…

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I've got a problem with all your battle stratagems: They're so formless, pick some guys and a direction Would be perfect when your squad just has basic skills (violence) But I've been checkin' what you've got, way more than "go kill" (hoo-whoo, yeah) Your troops are acrobatic (yeah) and also skilled with magic (ooh, yeah, yeah) Take inspiration from shapes made with crumbs after a sandwich I've seen you sittin' there in your lunch chair so damn bored (oh-oh, yeah) Pushin' the grains around 'til they make a (yeah) fine horse (ooh) Might think it's funny but I promise if you trust me, you'll see (oh, yeah) The most devastatin'-ass plans

I see our troops crushin' (crushin') fort walls with the punchin' (punchin') Of one hand the size of an elephant, love it (love it) And that hand (ah) keeps whalin' (whalin') 'til their white flag is wavin' (wavin') They say teamwork makes the dream work so let's start work on the chainin' (chainin') Don't hold back, go nuts (just go nuts), just go hard (just go hard) Get in line (right in line) for the start (for the start) Of my play (play), my play (hey), my play (okay), my play (okay) Sounds strange (okay), my play (okay), my play (okay), my play (okay) Try my play (play), my play (okay), new play (okay), my play (okay) My play (okay), okay (okay), my play (okay), okay (okay, okay), okay (okay, okay) Okay, soldiers, now let's practice swarm shapin' (form up), that's my play Okay, soldiers, now let's practice swarm shapin' (hoo-whoo), that's my play There's so many types of crazy formations for my play Play trick: you will need coordination (my play) (hey)

Enemies will look for a contingent of soldiers (that trite play) (hey) Or maybe they'll look up for an incomin' boulder (ooh) (that old play) (hey) But to see the sight of guys joined to make a giant-ass lobster (my play) (hey)? See that comin' at all, I doubt that, their brain's gonna lock up (it's my play) Hell, back to the rock that is in their expectations (it's my play) They might have a rockfall locked in their expectations (it's my play) But could they plan for that big rock to start breakin' (it's my play) (ah) Into a hundred soldiers (ooh) made to (ha) start slayin?

There's so many options (options), helps that I've been plottin' (I've been plottin') Since my damn (ooh) ball got stuck too high for broom knockin' (knockin') Two dudes were (ooh) my saviours (saviours) and one piggyback later (later) (dudes) I got my ball (ooh) and then I thought: if two dudes tall, why not greater (ah)? So I say go nuts (ooh) (just go nuts), just go hard (ow) (just go hard) Get in line (oh) (ow) (right in line) for the start (ow) (ooh) (for the start) Of my play (ooh) (play), my play (hey), my play (okay), my play (okay) Sounds strange (okay), my play (okay), my play (okay), my play (okay) Try my play (play), my play (okay), new play (okay), my play (okay) My play (okay), okay (okay), my play (okay), okay (okay, okay), okay (okay, okay) Okay, soldiers, now let's practice swarm shapin', that's my play Okay, soldiers, now let's practice swarm shapin, that's my play Crush the enemy with crazy formations, try my play Dismiss it? Might get eliminated (my play)

Okay, soldiers, now let's practice swarm shapin' (my play) Okay, soldiers, now let's practice swarm shapin' Don't forget to test each other in sim'lar formations Do that in case this tactic catches on later

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A parody of "Sin" as performed by Nine Inch Nails

Parody number: 3,540

A little tale of a not-so-little legal kerfuffle…

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Sorry, I can't even, permit me one "lol" I swear I don't usually, don't usually face-fault Did you think that I would ever buy this pack of lies? Are you just too stupid to realise? Might be printed ink but I might cry, it comes down to this:

Re-check your shit, I'm afraid you've got the wrong address Statement is piss, no way I'm next of kin

I still have a father, I know where he works And my mother still lives with that old, lovable berk Plus they still talk to me, hit up their place for lunch some days, go and re-read that legal page Because it's wrong 'bout ev'rything, no inheritance, no way, it comes down to this:

Re-check your shit, I'm afraid you've ballsed up something big Statement is piss, no way I'm next of kin

I'm sure it's not legal to wrestle control Of the cash that somebody else has earned, feels deeply off I don't care if you don't like the guy, can't make a right of two or more wrongs, don't you even try Won't join in with this, not nice, nice, nice, it comes down to this:

Re-check your shit, I'm afraid you've got the wrong address Misprinted ink, you big twit, it comes down to this: Re-check your shit, I'm afraid I cannot be adopted No dead parents, no way I'm next of kin, oh, oh, oh-oh

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A parody of "Freakshow" as performed by Britney Spears

Parody number: 3,539

If someone doesn't want to watch something before it officially comes out, maybe, you know, let them?

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Claim nobody's forced to get in on the ground floor But you're at my door, lit'rally? No, you should still go Because I know what you have, it's no deep code that I've cracked You love to say you've hacked, it's your joy (so rad) But must I repeat to you that I plain refuse (dude)? Please just shut up, up, up before I'm blockin' you (you) I don't wanna know (know) what happens, you know (know) Someone might wanna look to find out what is in store

Don't want your leaked show (leaked), leaked show Rather learn that it's a swee-sweet show (sweet), swee-sweet show (sweet show) Same time the whole world knows, keep your spoilers on the low And off my hard drive, don't want your, want your leaked show Don't want your lea-leaked show (leaked), leaked show, leaked show Don't want your lea-leaked show (leaked), leaked show, a leaked show

Not so impatient or bored that I go huntin' on the forums For the posts that are leakin', leakin' files like it's the norm (somehow it's the norm) I don't want those hard rips, in whole or even just clips Like surprises as I sit, not "here's that bit" looped in my head I don't wanna speak to you if all that you do (do) Is bringin' up, up, up all of your hottest scoops (scoops) If I wanna know (know), that's how you will know (know) That kidnappers don't look at your message log at all

Don't want your leaked show (leaked), leaked show Rather learn that it's a nea-neat show (neat), nea-neat show (neat show) The legal way, I know that's the way that losers go But I will be fine, don't want your, want your leaked show Don't want your lea-leaked show (leaked), leaked show, leaked show Lea-leaked show (lea-lea-lea-lea-leaked), leaked show, a leaked show

Call me the jerk 'cause I'm passin' on knowledge that all the cool kids know I say you're the jerk 'cause you will not stop askin' things to which I've said "No" Sure, I'm a jerk 'cause I'd rather not benefit from heists with the bros And only non-jerks would demand I stop any protests, no red flags shown (leaked show)

Don't want your leaked show (leaked), leaked show Rather learn that it's a swee-sweet show (sweet), swee-sweet show (sweet show) The way that I know won't have some silhouetted bloke Block the screen at times, don't want your, want your leaked show

Don't want your Don't want your Don't be a jerk, let me go and watch movies on time when schedules show You'd think you would work out that I don't want this, it's the eighty-seventh "No, no, no" L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Leaked show

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A parody of "Somebody to Love Me" as performed by Mark Ronson & The Business Intl. ft. Boy George & Andrew Wyatt

Parody number: 3,538

It's bad enough when nobody will move on from your honest mistake. It's even worse when you can't move on…

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Brain don't wanna let it go, it hopes that folly will bug me One mistake forever known, it hopes that folly will bug me, yeah Not the sole folly in my life, can't avoid a whoopsie-doo at times This folly, though? Won't let it slide

Ev'ry time I text, my ev'ry thought becomes haunted And when I'm in bed, my dreams repeat the folly, constant No "forgot what it was" when it gets brought up by the people in the know That's done accident'lly, they know that I will be staring right through them, not a joke What did I do? Lips are tight 'Cause you don't want me to start sobbing softly I don't like what that looks like People aren't perfect but I don't deserve it

Brain don't wanna let it go, it hopes that folly will bug me (stupid folly, oh-oh) On a loop inside my lobes, it hopes that folly will bug me (stupid folly, oh-oh) That one damn folly wasn't right, understand that perfectly but my Brain doesn't wanna let it slide

So much time has lapsed that nobody else recalls I was stupid And I'm still good friends with those affected, makes me feel clueless 'Cause if things worked out and no-one cares now, why do I still get brought to tears When I think upon what I did? Seems wrong, yeah, I've got no reason to fear Wish that my days and my nights Could just pass over with no lack of closure Hate that I replay in mind Over and over, will never be over

Brain don't wanna let it go, it hopes that folly will bug me (stupid folly, oh-oh) The worst rerun ever known, it hopes that folly will bug me (stupid folly, oh-oh) Relive that folly all my life, wish I knew where it was in my mind Then I would give it such a slice

One small slight, I paid the fine And so it's bogus that I hyperfocus Did my time, still in my mind Over and over, will never be over

Brain don't wanna let it go, it hopes that folly will bug me (stupid folly, oh-oh) Like some kinda cosmic joke, it hopes that folly will bug me (stupid folly, oh-oh) "Just forget that folly"? Tried, sadly Sisyphean to my mind

Oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ah-ah-ah, oh-oh-oh, oh

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A parody of "More Than My Hometown" as performed by Morgan Wallen

Parody number: 3,537

"Ha! Millennials. Always texting!"

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It is a common suggestion from week to week From folks who have a problem with the young teens Sure wish they would cut it out Stereotyped-ass scene I wish would go Kids don't know 'bout the real world, they're simply stuck In that rectangle of pure doom, it's friggin' nuts They flip their stack whenever one is pulled out and glows But I just need 'em to know

That it sounds forced, a painful public performance Forced when you hear someone gettin' a message Forced, while I'm sure it strikes a chord But there's no need to get loud, not a good look now Yeah, it's always forced, had this feelin' since the first time I looked At some guy yellin' words that would get you the hook Not sayin' it's the case for all times but it's too many now Keep hearin' from you forced "Put that phone down!"'s

Trite generational lines that make you mad Anyone that you see with no face cracks Must be whinin' and all that And so you go to shame them, like an ass

Feels like you're forced to act like a total dipshit Forced you to veer way too close and yell vague threats Forced to pretend that at your core Hate the concept of phones now, cannot stand the sound Yeah, it's always forced when you're shriekin' at your grandchildren, look It's a message from work, don't deserve to be shook Could be a friend who needs a car ride since theirs is broken down Still hearin' from you forced "Put that phone down!"'s

Yeah, there is a vibe in your eyes when you're bein' appallin' It's a little vacant while the furrowed brows are formin' A slight reluctance of will, heart's not in it Motions clearly do hurt, I don't get why you still go through with it

Once it wasn't forced, at least that's where I'd put my bet (ooh-ooh-ooh) Put in full force yellin' at the nearest damn kid (hoo-ooh-ooh) What happened to your heart that has it leavin' (hoo-ooh-ooh)? Can't let the schtick run its course, that's my feelin' So although it's forced, must keep screamin' at them to read a book Or some other old verse, bait will not leave the hook It's a sad sight to see but I always see it around Always hearin' them forced "Put that phone down!"'s

Hate those forced "Put that phone down!"'s (ooh-ooh-ooh) Awful forced "Put that phone down!"'s (ooh-ooh-ooh) They feel forced, feelin' super forced (ooh-ooh-ooh)

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A parody of "Me and This Jawn" as performed by Murs

Parody number: 3,536

If money's too complicated, just trade! As long as it's a fair trade, of course…

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Ye-yes, I'm switchin' lots of stuff, stuff with you

Me and this swap, got a switch goin' on So many years, I've been goin' along Never really thinkin' that it could turn out wrong But somethin's not right, my suspicion's strong Thought you should know why my frown only grows I've got this feelin' you might honestly not know That I'd get screwed if I just let this go Just does not feel right so let me rant long

I've never been maths-inclined, sure, I'm addin' fine Calculate value and how it drops with time? That I cannot manage, yeah, from my point of vantage It made real sense to try and minimise damage By a guess, a close enough method Not guessin' the cash amount, I'm doin' somethin' diff'rent It might sound iffy but I know the face Of someone gettin' ripped off and someone who's okay When we talk about what they're gettin' Glad to trade somethin' with me, sim'lar conditions Get me clued in, what was the hist'ry like? It some crap you want to see far away and not in your life? It might sound insane or maybe simply stupid Judgin' sentiment, who can do it? Well, so far it's all worked fine, no-one's gotten grumpy But I think I'd be happier if you wouldn't screw me

Me and this swap, got a switch goin' on But I've a fear that you'll string me along Hate to be a dick and call the whole damn thing off But it don't feel right, somethin's simply wrong I think I'd know if a trade's even, so Don't start the speech that I'm mistaken, that's a joke All I've been through, got a sense for it, bro This does not feel right, once again, rant long

I'll slog through my email log (email log) Because I have a hunch 'bout why this feels off Readin' up on all the hints that you dropped That you aim to screw me like a jerk, I'm sure that's wrong And so I'll slog through my email log (email log) I need to find the crumbs that you must have dropped Don't get hunches out of nothin', feels off For a reason, you must be a jerk and that's just wrong

You told me you loved this object (object) That it breaks your heart that you're bein' forced to flog it Surgery's mad expensive, fair sitch What does not add up perfect is this: You claim that it's well-loved (huh), certainly looks right (yeah) Sure looks like it lost ev'ry single fight (uh) The model number looks a bit weird Makes it look like you only bought this thing last year Yet it's caked in dirt, sev'ral hundred dings That's a lot when it isn't an outside thing I wouldn't trade it to ya if I had hate aimed at ya So it isn't worth my big stack of games, not for ya And one last thing: you know we're tradin', right? Zero cash for you unless you plan to flog what's mine Gotta explain now why ev'rything lines Up with a jerk whose scam is slippin' fast, please try

Me and this swap, got a switch goin' on Had a real fear you played me all along Laid the bait too thick and so I'm cuttin' you off No, you won't get my shit, I've sussed your con Tried to offload somethin' that went and broke Maybe on purpose just to make it more a joke All to get you somethin' that's worth loads 'Cause you thought that I was a total dope Me and this swap, got a switch goin' on So many years, didn't have things go wrong Folks asked if I drink or am a fan of the bong Because surely I would've caught this con Easy to know when an offer's a load When you're appraisin' via cash, not vibes, I know Still found the truth and it wasn't found post- I knew I was right and your ass was wrong

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A parody of "Legend" as performed by Twenty One Pilots

Parody number: 3,535

Serves four, you greedy bastard, now put some of that back!

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Big ol' party with gathered buds, I forget the occasion Got a big spread of snacks to munch, it's so hard to choose But that choice has been hampered 'cause it seems I was too slow Least I thought so, eyes clapped upon, yeah, this guy

Takin' seconds but that's not right Number of plates? Way too high

There's no way you can't know this, it was in ev'ry message We've got a two-plate limit and don't you Claim you're on number two, bullshit, wonder why I've been placed in This spot next to the spread? Please, not to poach food

It's to make sure those snatchin' buns are not makin' massive runs Sure, a party's for havin' fun, not to enforce rules (to enforce rules) But starvation ain't grand, you schmuck, you cannot overload (enforce that rule) I can count past two, can you, bud? Yeah, that's right

Can take seconds, not fourths, ain't right Give up your plate, you'll survive Survive, survive, survive, survive, oh-oh Survive, survive, survive, survive, not right (enforce that rule) You've had seconds, don't touch that pie Put down your plate, you'll be fine

Ev'rybody loves snackin', pretty sure you've had your fill Don't look forward to havin' a lunch with you again

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A parody of "Only Forever" as performed by Demi Lovato

Parody number: 3,534

Never say you don't care what you get for lunch when you clearly do!

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It's not that hard to be useful and it's not that hard a task now Not askin' you to draft a ledger, know you don't know how I don't either, 'fraid so but I think I'm gettin' off-track, I'd hoped That when I asked what kind of food you would like, you'd give the slightest clue

But you're sayin' (all you're sayin') Yes, you're just sayin' (you're only sayin') Only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever" Only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever"

This is a quirk that I've never liked, you say no answer's wrong But we both know the truth: you will find a reason to rant long You wanted Sprite, not Coke (Coke), might've guessed the chicken but I don't know (know) Whether it's roast or fried 'til you (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) start insinuatin' my brain's goo

You're always sayin' (always sayin') At the time sayin' (at the time sayin') Only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever" Only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever"

I get corrected far too late, is this some kinda twisted game? Am I in some personal hell to learn some lesson I can't tell? The fifty-seventh chance might cause me to crack

Only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever", only "whatever" Only "whatever", only "whatever" (only "whatever"), only "whatever", only "whatever"

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A parody of "Promiscuous" as performed by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland

Parody number: 3,533

Is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon? Asking for a friend here…

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Would you prefer rocks? Nope! Didn't think so

You're a gooey young lady I didn't think I'd ever have glop be my baby I'd hoped to find treasure in this trove Only found a loss for words first time that we spoke Nobody looks for girls durin' dungeon grinds (ah) And even if they did, no way slimes catch your eye Dudes who have a type are just picky, I find Been around this weird world, lots to like You expect me to just buy that bullshit? You're an adventurer, here to kill minions (whoa) I know what it looks like and it looks bad (bad) Bein' honest: didn't know there was a bad man (man) I'm on a dead ruin visit Are there villains about? You're not oozin' viciousness No massive threat, just a twerp, I could kill him Hell, might as well follow me, you've piqued my int'rest

Semi-fluid girl, I feel there's a spark It's not a joke, you're the goo that I want Contiguous boy, you already know Most folks abhor what you're aimin' for Semi-fluid girl, I see no freak The loveliest blob that I ever could meet Contiguous boy, your schmaltz is a joy Eyes aren't made to roll, still wouldn't

Bad guy is dead, you fight really smooth Weird that you have skin but you're still kinda cute (hey) Can say the reverse 'bout you I'm a fan of the light that half shines through To be clear, not heard that sentiment, I've managed To stay on sub-levels, outside never seemed attractive, yet If it's a problem, I'll lay down Really good shade any place you're 'round I'm a big girl, I can handle the wealth Of brand new sensations, still adore your help (whoa) Most attention to me was "Oh god, can't be killed!" At least the cuts can heal? On the outside, pretty well (shh) Baby, don't you keep it on the low (low) Know folks brought down by their feelin's and it blows (blows) When you're ready, girl, I don't expect sudden flows (huh) How many girls have you had before?

Semi-fluid girl, I've not shared my heart (ah-ah) It's not a joke, the first who did respond (ah-ah-ah-ah) Contiguous boy, then how come you've shown (ah-ah) A tour de force of charm to my core (ah-ah-ah-ah)? Semi-fluid girl, I seem to be (ah-ah) Unlucky in love with those solid like me (ah-ah-ah-ah) Contiguous boy, your game is on point (ah-ah) At least a good roll, no kiddin' (ah-ah-ah-ah)

I'll say you look rad if not neat Okay, take my hand, though it's green (hey) Wait, my hand? It's not clean I can ingest that (huh), keep it neat (wait) Anything is noms? Can't impress you with a restaurant That isn't true, see, just because My insides eat all, do not lack taste buds Got taste buds? When I want 'em, see Hence the still-sweet smile when you've got bare feet Choose when to connect my senses, okay? Never turn my eyes off lookin' your way (ah) It's okay (ah), it's alright (ah) Somethin' I can get used to, fine (ah) I know that's the truth, not the type to talk trash Hope you can talk dirty when we smash (hey)

Semi-fluid girl, are we at that part (ah-ah)? I planned for "slow" first time you oozed right up (ah-ah-ah-ah) Contiguous boy, the sweetest display (ah-ah) But I will drive you crazy the way I'll blaze through new shapes (ah-ah-ah-ah) Semi-fluid girl, you're teasin' me (ah-ah) Won't lie that it's not what I want, let me breathe (ah-ah-ah-ah) Contiguous boy, I'm lovin' the shade (ah-ah) Of red that covers your face, I'll stop (ah-ah-ah-ah)

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A parody of "Whatever Lola Wants" as performed by Sarah Vaughan

Parody number: 3,532

It hurts me to have to use the term "soda" (we call it soft drink where I'm from) but for the sake of the rhyme…

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Forget the soda cup, so damn shit I'd rather have bottled soda, do you? Too easy when you grasp (yes, when you grasp) to crush it (to crush it) And then you'll spill all then you will be screwed

It sucks to get what you pay for Then it's all upon the floor, I'd rage more

Forget the soda cup (soda cup), so damn shit (so damn shit) I never know which bin it goes deep down in (in which? Do I recycle it?) Not sure if it's compostable, depends on where it's bought, not cool I'm pissed (so pissed to not know which)

Forget the soda cup, so damn shit

It sucks to get (it sucks, it sucks, it sucks) what you pay for (it sucks, it sucks) Then the flavour's off 'cause of ice, rage more

Forget the soda cup (soda cup), so damn shit (so damn shit) It's not a joke, outside's so damn friggin' wet (it's wet, I wish it wasn't wet) Know that it's meant to keep it cool but then I end up as the fool It slips (it slips, it always slips) I'm pissed (so pissed 'bout all of this) Can it

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A parody of "Money in the Bank" as performed by Lil Scrappy ft. Young Buck

Parody number: 3,531

The best way to avoid gun deaths: hey laughing boy, no more bullets!

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Can't hit this Okay-kay-kay (don't hurt me), jigs up (whoo), guess I'm caught (caught) Wasn't just me (yeah), whole big scheme (whole big scheme), gunner's shootin' blanks, whole unit

Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah), scuppered ev'ry rank (wreck it, ayy)

Ev'ry single blow from a gun hurts loads (ayy) Sure, ev'ryone knows that, though not really "know" Until they get shot fair square in the gut Feels like a problem that has yet to be undone (ain't right) (yeah) So I had a thought: if no-one can stop (huh) Shootin', could we switch the sort of bullets they've got (maybe)? Will still go bang just like a startin' pistol's shot But no-one will get caught (just watch me) with a hole in their gut (ayy) Doubt the enemy (ayy) would simply agree (ayy) To make their army look weak (ayy), that means I had to sneak (yeah) Wait 'til the sun sleeps (yeah), no-one's spottin' me (yeah) Creepin' on my hands and knees 'round your armory (he-hey) Draggin' bags around (yeah) with a large amount (yeah) Of new ammo for your guns (ayy) and whatever else around (round) No bullets fly (yeah), each grenade fallin' flat (yeah) Now nobody will have guts comin' right out of their back

Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah), scuppered ev'ry rank (wreck it, ayy) Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah), scuppered ev'ry rank (wreck it, ayy)

It ain't just me, too much a rigamarole (yeah) To run it solo, you can't guess how far it goes Not the whole army that you and yours try to fight (c'mon) Tryna stop the pain of gut-shots, why help one side (one side)? Lots share my dream of no pain of the violent type (yo) Whole buncha guys in the mud tryna end the fight ('fraid so) Attempted peace talks, didn't get us very far Sure they're in the right, prepared to die hard I'd be down with defeatin' bad (what?) guys, trust me But where is the line not to cross? I can't judge, see (yeah) Sometimes it's hazy, it's also a fact (huh) That "gun 'em down" is not a tactic that I'll back That's a view that's common with the dudes I have In my little crew, won't see any of 'em, that's a fact (hey) Even though I got caught, I don't hold all the plans So you still won't shoot up shite 'cause I will never crack, you still got

Gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah), scuppered ev'ry rank (wreck it, ayy) Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah), scuppered ev'ry rank (wreck it, ayy)

See, you caught me, can't say "shot me" "Alive" is what I want and not just for me Plus this won't stall me (ayy), all have the plot (ayy) It's goin' swell (ayy), can't pay our doc With no "shot me", only "caught me" My cause will not be damaged, how you gon' stop me? Your guards might watch me sit in this cot Soon this world will have no guts shot

Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah), scuppered ev'ry rank (wreck it, ayy) Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah, ayy), scuppered ev'ry rank Got your gunners shootin' blanks (yeah), scuppered ev'ry rank (wreck it, ayy)

Can't hit this

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A parody of "Island in the Sun" as performed by Weezer

Parody number: 3,530

Wow, has it really been over ten years since I parodied Weezer? Given how this took me, like, ten minutes, eleven tops, I'm surprised it took me that long. Maybe I just chose a good topic. Speaking of, condescending meta-morals in vidya games, let's go!

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Quit, quit Quit, quit Quit, quit Quit, quit

So you wanna make a game To teach war is not the way? Sorry, I have to tell you That in concept, you're just screwed

Because "violence can't be fun" Is a thing that can't be done 'Cause the way to not cross lines is to not play your game

Quit, quit Quit, quit

Consequences can be seen But so are the tracks you leave Players never love to know They've been on a strict railroad

Can't say "violence can't be fun" When the thrills of shooting gun Is, out the context of life, a pleasure to the brain And nothing kills that better Than a big wagging finger To make them feel bad for the war

Quit, quit Quit, quit Quit, quit

Aim of "violence can't be fun" Not only has that been done All it does is bring to mind those who deride these games As murder simulators Ain't gonna earn you favours Try deconstructing pointless lore

Quit, quit Quit, quit (better luck there than "why is war") Quit, quit (won't go) Quit, quit Quit, quit (call of duty lasts evermore) Quit, quit (won't go) Quit, quit (won't go) Quit, quit (won't go) Quit, quit

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A parody of "Rumors" as performed by Ava Max

Parody number: 3,529

We all have our limits. Especially since there's a big difference between "cutting leaves" and "yeeting an entire-ass tree".

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Pruner, pruner, prune, pruner (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah), pruner, prune Pruner, pruner, prune, pruner (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah), pruner, prune

You've got a lot of trees that are a sight (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) I don't mean that in a good way, alright (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)? If you don't mind the price, I can make it look nice Trim the bad off, it won't take a real long time (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) But that's all I can do, make 'em real neat, pristine Can make 'em fine-tuned, "yank it all" seems crazy

I'm just a pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, prune Pruner, pruner, pruner, just a little cuttin', cuttin's all I can do Pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, prune Pruner, pruner, pruner, just a little cuttin', cuttin's all I'll give you

Branches off, the rest form a new shape, ho-oh-oh (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) That's the most, I fear, can't relocate, can't relocate (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) And I know you'll say "Surely you can trim it more 'Til it's all gone, right? All trimmed away, all trimmed away" (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) That's not how it works, dude, know it may seem crazy I just have small tools, stump will still be there, see

I'm just a pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, prune Pruner, pruner, pruner, just a little cuttin', cuttin's what I can do Pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, prune Pruner, pruner, pruner, just a little cuttin', cuttin's my gift for you

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (pruner) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (pruner) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (pruner) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (pruner)

I say a gift for you but it won't be that cheap Even more if you keep askin' me more, please

I'm just a pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, prune Pruner, pruner, pruner, just a little cuttin', cuttin's all I can do Pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, pruner, prune Pruner, pruner, pruner, just a little cuttin', cuttin's all I'll give you

Oh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (pruner) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (I'm just a pruner, pruner, pruner) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (pruner) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh (pruner, pruner, pruner)

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A parody of "False Alarm" as performed by The Weeknd

Parody number: 3,528

What lies should we tell our children? Maybe not this one…

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Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh (yeah) Oh-oh-oh (yeah), oh-oh-oh (yeah)

There's some things kids aren't yet to know (not dumb) Timin's crucial, don't make the blow (too much) Hard truth or soft lie? Which one's told (which one?) to youth? Poor youth Could be sex, could be if it's right (or wrong) To straight deck someone if they might (good odds) Be a jerk, who gets the first strike (cold-cock)? The youth's confused Ethics can get muddy, what's the age that it's right To tell them their doggy has gone off to the light? Don't have wrought tautologies, what I offer's small, just seems That whole "on a farm" is weak, they're not on a farm

On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) They're not on a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) O-O-O-O-OOOOOOOOO

How long can you hold that lie (your crutch)? Gotta fold when kids not your own decide (undone) To reverse your soft blow, it seems (told ya) you're done, you're done And then ev'rything that you've said will be (brow's up) Put right under their scrutiny (hold up) Nothin' hurts like betrayal, see (told ya)? You're stuffed, you're stuffed So when Mister Fluffy (ah-ah-ah-ah) seems not long for this life Sure bookstores have got reems (ah-ah-ah-ah) of how-to's for that shite Truth might not feel what they need (not feel what they need), gonna haunt them constantly (haunt them constantly) "Dog's just on a farm"? Pa-leeze (on a farm), they're not on a farm

On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) They're not on a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) O-O-O-O-OOOOOOOOO

Don't pass to me that task, I'm not (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah) One to try that mad endeavor You won't see me on that tightrope (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ooh) Maybe try? Should make it better

On a farm (ah-ah-ah-ah) (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ah-ah-ah-ah) (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah) (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) They're not on a farm (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ah-ah-ah-ah) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) On a farm (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) (ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't, ain't) O-O-O-O-OOOOOOOOO

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A parody of "Liability" as performed by Lorde

Parody number: 3,527

"I told you NOT TO TOUCH IT!" - Arthur Reed

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No, stop it, don't move

You are gonna drive me absolutely crazy Really wish you'd spare me, all these models on display may prove that I'm a dork I said "Don't touch 'em", was that so tricky, bro? It's clear the answer that you chose was "not" And so you want to touch what I've got I told you to leave, you call me a wolf-crier What happened the third time to that lad? Oh yeah, wolf snack None of that's getting through to you and what's the result I can see? One moron wanting to throw all planes he sees

You say "What's wrong? I just want to see Their real flyability That's all that I want to see" I've told you that it's total crap Not made to land, have no flyability And so I ask you "Leave" before there's destruction, tha-a-na-na-na, that would suck

I've told you that they're not toys, models can bring joy With the way they sit behind a glass door And it's not the fault of me Haven't made it inviting, made it clear that I don't Want anyone touching these planes that don't fly, they don't at all All they'll do is fall

You say such a thing just cannot be Must have flyability That's what planes are for, you see And I'll say that there is a patch Of my brain that says non-flyability Would make quite a cool scene of airplane destruction, tha-a-na-na-na, that would rock

But that won't happen 'cause I fear they cost too much That ain't gonna happen 'cause I fear they cost too much

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A parody of "HENTAI" as performed by ROSALÍA

Parody number: 3,526

Riskin' it with that song choice, aren't I? Anyway, bad ties are bad, let's go!

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Known when my birthday is For sev'ral months, should be enough To work out what kind of gift I'd really want, didn't think you'd get stumped

You know I like games of most types Things to play to unwind Buy what I need? Okay with that, although Your choice wasn't spot-on, has to be a joke

No, no, no, no, no, no good Good, good No, no, no good, no, no, no good No, no, no good, no good, mmm, no good

Look at these awful-ass colours, I just might throw up What weird kind of shop did you get this flop from? Perfect Gifts for a Clown Monster? Sure, sounds redundant Rote jokes will come up to avoid bad insults

Did not think I would say "wrong size" Would beat snakes, that's not right And just what is this fabric? It's so scratchy and itch-bent Not worn on bare skin? Sure, but to wear it needs fingers

No, no, no, no, no, no good Good, good No, no, no good, no, no, no good No, no, no good, no good, mmm What else can I say 'bout this? Ya, ya This is such a bad necktie, this is such a bad necktie This is such a bad necktie, an ugly necktie, mmm, necktie

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