A parody of "S-Class" as performed by Stray Kids
Nobody likes a suck-up. Except the people they're sucking up to, I guess. And even then I'm getting off track.
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I'm appalled 'cause I see somehow you got promoted before me
One question will solve that: just how brown is your nose (nose, nose, nose, nose)?
I can't say you're too green, that's our fatigues
Puns aside, not my grief
Joined up at the same time, remember how Cap would go: "Clean it up, clean it up, jackass"
The messes that were made were not at all my fault, dipshit, dipshit, dipshit
Hurts when my efforts to make that known
All failed because you love to kiss brass, "Best of the best"? Yeah, my ass
The flag you launched into the sky? The six-lagers-deep tank joyride?
All swept under the rug, that isn't right, clear you suck
You didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't earn this, no (spare me)
Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't put in any work (dipshit ev'ryday)
Fake promotion, fake promotion, fake promotion from my point of view
Fake promotion, fake promotion, no way that I will call your ass "Sarge"
Call me a weirdo but rank-ups should go to people who seem like they're able to handle new duties
And to say that you qualify for it? Bullshit, bullshit, worse than Beetle Bailey, dude, please
Lazybones, lazybones, never workin', run off at the slightest hint
That there's somethin' that you might have to do, that won't suit a sloth, no, no
It can't be on-field expertise that saved you, buddy
Any barn's broad side's safe when you're aimin', they shouldn't like it, 'kay?
Should've been kicked out six weeks ago
And so it's pretty clear you kiss brass, "Best of the best"? Yeah, my ass
When one can't even salute right, ev'ry attempt just hittin' eyes
Sometimes it's yours and sometimes you hit mine, clear you suck
You didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't earn this, no (spare me)
Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't bother to do work (dipshit ev'ryday)
Fake promotion, fake promotion, fake promotion, why'd it go to you?
Fake promotion, fake promotion, I refuse to call your dumb ass "Sarge"
It should be me who's now "Sarge" but don't you dare get that wrong
I'm not some jealous tool or someone who's climbin' the ranks up, yeah, yeah
'Cause anybody else in this squad at that rank would cause far less brain pain, yeah
But do I have evidence of your dumb ass bein' a brown nose? I think so, yeah
Face it, if you were tryna keep it secret
Wouldn't hand-deliver your bribes in person, eejit
Though I wouldn't do it, know discretion's needed
And a little lie so my case is weakened
Can see the card you've written, it's got both the "To" and the "From"
Font's big enough to see from space, your name's in the latter, moron
And I know your last name, share it with the gen'ral
A nepotism cherry on the sundae of "You asshole"
You're no "Sarge", fool, ah
Not my "Sarge", fool, still a dipshit ev'ryday
Fake promotion, fake promotion, fake promotion, I might quit, it's true
Fake promotion, fake promotion, better leave than forced to call you "Sarge"
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To be honest, the only reason this was army-themed is because I didn't think "kiss brass" would work outside that context. And with most army-related things, you can blame the fact that I know it on M*A*S*H.
