#amiright

A parody of "Me Rehúso" as performed by Danny Ocean

Parody number: 3,550

Just in case, it's "Croo-zo", not "Ca-roo-zo". Forget what Gilligan's Island/Weird Al taught you. Man, that's the only time I'd say to disregard what Weird Al said. Anyways, shipdits on an island, let's go!

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C-C-Crashed in the dirt, c-c-crashed in the dirt The plane isn't in the best of shapes, the pilot is also really not C-C-Crashed in the dirt, c-c-crashed in the dirt Where in the hell are we?

Didn't cross the ocean, no, engine got blown up, I don't know why, please Plane crashed on an unknown island, other questions that will soon test me Will there be tigers? Nice people to meet? Those berries poison or they just not sweet? Just know it's gonna hurt, know it's gonna hurt What hurts more right now is the deluded fits of some other passengers (ooh-whoo) Watched too many reruns of Gilligan's Island and other such works (other, other, other works) Find some coconuts and we'll birth our own paradise in the dirt (ooh-ooh-ooh), yeah That ain't gonna work, that ain't gonna work

Buddy, no (buddy, no) You're no Crusoe, it'll take more than gumption and watched TV shows (TV shows) Mostly 'cause they're fiction, nine times out of ten the writers won't (the writers won't) They'll write an endin' real neat and sweet and twee, you need to face the facts now, buddy

Tell me, do you have anythin' close to a grasp on engineerin' principles? Whoa (oh-ooh-whoa) Any experience in buildin' things with wood, no concrete fillin', just tied with somethin' flexible? Whoa How 'bout makin' fires? No, don't you tell me there's a lighter in your luggage, bro Even if it survived, pretty sure that we'll need somethin' that won't run out of fuel, bozo You're tellin' big jokes (big jokes), a lot of big jokes (big jokes) Request: please don't, not just 'cause you blow at that task, 'fraid so ('fraid so) Stop tellin' big jokes (tellin' big jokes), all of your big jokes We're feelin' low, morale is low, but there's "a joke" then there's "jackass mode"

Buddy, no (buddy, no) You're no Crusoe, at least that's my assumption, haven't read it, no (read it? No) Watched an adaptation? Again, I can't lie, I've seen zero (I've seen zero) But there's one thing that I've seen, we need to be (we need to be) far from Lord of the Flies now, buddy (whoa-ooh-whoa-oh) Buddy, no You're no Crusoe, best not end up becomin' a Jack, that would blow (that would blow) That was the kid who ended up the bad guy, a big psycho And he was twelve, adults need to be less keen to let arrogance curdle, buddy

You need to be a little realistic, buddy

Buddy, no (buddy, no) You're no Crusoe, at least right at the moment, as far as I know (as I know) I'm not seein' muscles beneath that flash suit you've got on, bro (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) That might explain why you seem to need to be (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) in charge of ev'rybody, buddy But buddy, no (buddy, no) You're no Crusoe, don't think that I am either, pretty sure we're boned (sure we're boned) Need to pool our resources and work out who's good at what, so So yellin' that it's so easy, please, you're steppin' on a snake now, buddy

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A parody of "River" as performed by Bishop Briggs

Parody number: 3,549

"So the liver is an organ which collects and filters all of the TOXINS from an animal throughout their lifetime so why we prance about and EAT IT is beyond me." - B. Dylan Hollis

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Try the liver? Try the liver? Sh- Try the liver? Try the liver? Sh- Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver

Real fancy restaurant Never seen a menu get bigger How can I pick just one? Might be a repeat visitor Have to wait as a waiter Just wait right there, waiter You've messed up, a big failure Just shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver

Shut your mouth, buddy, I hate to bicker But it's mad you'd think that was a winner Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver I don't want it, not even a sliver Let me pick what won't make my guts quiver Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver

Sorry if I'm too harsh Just your job to be shilling Leftover organ parts Once the cow isn't living I won't take, I won't take it Won't take, I won't take it I'd retch hard if I taste it So shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver

Shut your mouth, buddy, I can't get sicker Than the plan to have filters for dinner Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver Sure the sauce is divine, five-star winner Have that with muscle fiber, sounds better Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver

Try the liver? Try the liver? Sh- Try the liver? Try the liver? Sh- Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver Hey! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Hey! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (try the liver?) Hey! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (try the liver?), try the liver?

Shut your mouth (try the liver?), buddy, won't be a tipper (try the liver?) If you scrap (try the liver?) what I want and deliver (try the liver?) Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver Just in concept, it gives me the shivers (try the liver?) Don't waste it (try the liver?), sure someone else will differ (try the liver? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) Try the liver? Try the liver? Shut your mouth, not gonna try the liver

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A parody of "Walking on Broken Glass" as performed by Annie Lennox

Parody number: 3,548

…some titles don't need a video essay introduction, they kinda speak for themselves.

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Munching on, munching on frozen snacks Munching on, munching on frozen snacks

Get that when eating things, it is pretty rude To mock the taste of all your buddies if they're gross to you It's all subjective, see, so don't be an ass But sometimes it can be hard when I see you right there munching on frozen snacks

Munching on, munching on frozen snacks (woo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh, yeah) Munching on, munching on frozen snacks

Some are designed to work like that, that's fine, not the reason why I'm all peeved (ah-ah-ah-ooh) Whoa-oh-ooh-whoa (oh-oh, oh-oh), I'm raising my brow (ooh-ooh) when you take the cold meats The type you're meant to heat first, you act like that isn't mad Ice-cold nuggets aren't the thing I'd choose if it was me who was munching on frozen snacks

Munching on, munching on frozen snacks (woo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh)

Doo-doo Hope you're not trying (doo-doo) to gross me out (doo-doo) because you will succeed (doo-doo) I'm not just whining (doo-doo) 'bout what's wrong now (doo-doo), my lunch wants to leave me (doo-doo) (doo-doo) (doo-doo) I don't want you (doo-doo) to hurt me (doo-doo) by accident, no fear (doo-doo) That on purpose (doo-doo), you'll hurt me, your evil instincts are too mere

The more I think 'bout this whole thing, I wonder if the problem only lies with me While I still feel the need to chunder, no health problems here to see Not eating uncooked pizzas, nothing raw's been grabbed Haven't heard a tooth go crack, maybe you should keep munching (maybe you should keep munching) You can keep on munching on (keep on munching on), you can keep on munching (frozen) on frozen (frozen) snacks

Munching on, munching on frozen snacks (woo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh) Munching on, munching on frozen snacks Munching on (munching on snacks), munching on frozen snacks (munching on snacks) Keep on munching on snacks, munching on snacks (just out of view, man) Munching on (keep on munching on snacks) (yeah), munching on frozen snacks (munching on snacks) (yeah) Keep on munching on snacks (yeah), munching on snacks (don't wanna see you munching) Munching on (keep on munching on snacks) (you're munching), munching on frozen snacks (munching on snacks) (hoo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh) Keep on munching on snacks, munching on snacks (just keep on munching) Munching on (keep on munching on snacks), munching on frozen snacks (munching on snacks) Keep on munching on snacks, munching on snacks

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A parody of "On My Way" as performed by PRETTYMUCH

Parody number: 3,547

If you're not gonna take suggestions from your employees, don't be surprised when it bits you in the ass…

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Yeah, yeah, yeah Ayy, ayy

Just did somethin' stupid, real no-brained thing (yikes) Anyone with eyes could've spied that, gave warnin' But there was no sound, all been mum here (I'm not sorry) I just let it be, let you go on some dumb shit Furrow your stupid brow, this is all your fault, can't doubt it Ain't some kinda prank or joke, if you want it, I can show How I think none can doubt it beyond how you're, hands down, a douche

Do you recall that time I spoke up and you rushed to quell? Hurts makin' your own hell, you made it plain that it's not my place Not my place So many times I put my hand up (oh) and thick books, you chucked And so I will shut up, you made it plain that it's not my place Not my place

When you hired me, told me you wanted (oh) Quick feedback when you screw up, don't be rude, just be honest And that's somethin' that I tried to stick with (true) But ev'ry single time that I tried, you'd get so pissed Any suggestions drownin' in the volume you're shoutin' "Shut your whiny trap! I don't pay you to think, keep it closed!" Wipe off the spit, I'm frownin', I didn't mean to clown on you (that's not my place)

So if the jerk wants me to shut up, I'll stay in my shell Let you build your own hell, you made it plain that it's not my place (oh) Not my place It doesn't work so I'm zippin' up (up), I've made it a club None of us will speak up, you made it plain that it's not our place Not our place

Way Way, just gonna let you lead the way The twenty-seventh time you screamed That I could go jump in a lake Proved: not my place, place Place, place Place, place

Made sure your words weren't just spoken but (words) written down as well Firmer cage for your hell, you made it plain that it's not my place Not my place (it's not my place) So when the top guys come in for lunch (oh), I can prove you're stuck 'Cause of your orders, bud, you made it plain that it's not my place Not my place

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A parody of "She Will" as performed by Lil Wayne ft. Drake

Parody number: 3,546

GIT GUD!

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Not funny Yeah, bored Ahem

Not winnin', another damn Game Over, makes me feel stupid 'Cause although I know how to succeed, I still feel clueless I know the method but three weeks in, not there yet What am I missin'? Doesn't seem to be a clear step Difficulty options? No, least not direct shit An easy-to-hard scale doesn't exist, yes, I've checked it Not a bug now, would pop out like a blatant clue But it varies which part kills my poor guy dead, a painful truth No upgrades skipped, no, I cannot be Just or mad underleveled, there's no levels to see Don't gain EXP, it's just me Well, my character's droppin', I'm flopped in my seat I'm stuck and I seethe, can't give up yet And I cannot stop for a while and come back refreshed, haha Will have forgotten my moveset I've gotta just reset until the groove clicks, uh

I won't bother to pause it and start checkin' the net for an answer 'cause I just feel That they'll say anything besides a hint for what I should do, they'll give me a raw deal Isn't ev'ry single one who does this but I fear it's too many, for real Say I'm bad, I play like a dope, uh, I'm shit, need to git gud, I need skill, yeah-eah Won't answer a simple question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill, yeah-eah Won't answer a single question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill, need skill, need skill, uh Callin' me a dummy in much cruder terms, it's pain right now, need skill, need skill, need skill, uh Won't answer a simple question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill, yeah

Envision a horde of nerds so smug and douchey That someone's "Help" plea won't elicit that but they're rudely Dismissin' your attempts as crap and they stop at that Never doin' shit to solve your problems, man Won't delve in deeper, just say I should stop suckin', damn I'm well aware I suck at this, I'm not wantin' that Want to learn new tricks, I've got time to try Need specifics, I think "just try"'s too wide Boost attack speed? Don't waste time blockin'? Try more dodgin'? You've watched me tryin', hell, I've seen you watchin' Say I make bad calls but, like assholes Say the solution is so clear, what jagoffs It's not obvious if someone asks y'all How to not fail right now, ain't my damn fault Should I restructure my toolset? Obnoxious gamer dicks who will not do shit, uh, haha

There's no point in me pausin' to start checkin' the web for an answer 'cause I just feel 'Cause all I went and rambled 'bout has happened to me and so many others, for real A well-known contingent of top gamers who will sneer and give you a raw deal Say I'm bad, I play like a dope, uh, I'm shit, need to git gud, I need skill, yeah-eah Won't answer a simple question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill, yeah-eah Won't answer a single question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill, need skill, need skill, uh Think it's really funny, not much of a joke, just pain right now, need skill, need skill, need skill, uh Won't answer a simple question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill, yeah

Irks me a little bit, maybe (uh), whoo!

Unfair of me to harp on (yeah) just the assholes when there has to be help out there for real (alright, well alright, well alright)? Sure, I just might have real low (uh) expectations, believe me that I could vent 'bout raw deals (but I see your eyes rollin' and you phone checkin') Searchin' for the answers (yeah) and all that I get is jeers, not all aimed at me, still (other people out there bloggin' (alright, well alright, well alright), get the same jibin') I feel that the sentiment won't change (whoo!) a bit, still all "git gud", I need skill, yeah-eah (this is balls, buddy (alright, well alright, well alright), bullshit) Won't answer a simple question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill (alright, well alright, well alright), yeah-eah (yeah) Won't answer a single question 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill (alright), need skill (well alright), need skill (well alright) (I just need skill), uh (yeah) One day, I'll find buddies who can teach me to dodge pain right now, need skill (alright) (some not-dicks), need skill (well alright), need skill (well alright), uh Who'll answer a simple question (one damn hint) 'bout the bloody game, nah, I need skill (that's all that I need)

Goddamnit, Bowser

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A parody of "Smoke and Mirrors" as performed by Imagine Dragons

Parody number: 3,545

Shooting the wrong person never looks good. Especially when it's the person you're trying to save…

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Sorry you're hurt, I'm who's to blame But let me try to just explain I tried to hurt that breaker-of-knees jerk Who wanted you to pay a dead debt, not fair I did my part to stop the crime Got in the way? Got in the way? No, that's absurd, the blame is my way, this Gun's a pile of shite

It's clear to me this crap side-piece jumped the gun literally That's not a joke, it's got a faulty trigger I aimed for between those Evil eyes but lo, it's got a faulty trigger (trigger, trigger)

I didn't know this thing was broke Felt it worked out while mowing down All of the mercs this breaker-of-knees jerk Hired to block my way, their corpses lie there I guess when I sprayed without taking aim There wasn't much room to back up my new claim But now I fear this maker of waste works Worse than in my mind

And now you bleed because of me grabbing a gun hastily I didn't know it had a faulty trigger (trigger, trigger) Panicked from your freaked tone Just needed to go, can't scan for faulty triggers (triggers, triggers)

You need a bandage or three (more)?

Still hit that freak so he won't be after what you don't owe, please Don't be mad, bro, about that faulty trigger (trigger, trigger) You'll have to trust me, don't Check it out, just know it's got a faulty trigger (trigger, trigger)

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