mob boss bob™

love when my boss calls me on my day off

my dad said i should relax and spend as much time in bed on my day off as i need because i’ve struggling so much recently. my jaw was on the floor because this man literally never notices anything so fact that he noticed this and said something? unheard of

i always joke that my uterus is trying to kill me, but i think it’s making good on the threat this time

i booked my next three nail appointments already like a crazy person

my sister challenged me to go on one date a week but who the fuck has that kinda time and energy?

your girl's date was a little weird and boring

do i go on a date with the boring man to see if he’s just a really bad texter?

matched with a man on hinge and i’m sitting here like “go on, king, give us nothing”