nothing to see here folks

The duality of man is thinking “children cannot help themselves and we all need to be patient with them as they explore what it means to be human in public” and also “damn, I wish this crying baby was not on the plane rn :/“

Just as courage is not the absence of fear but doing the brave thing in spite of it, patience is not the absence of irritation but doing the kind thing in spite of it.

i literally think of that "polynesians first to discover antarctica, not news to maori" headline so much it's so fucking funny

3. Please keep your shirt and pants on

"The entire bar is empty!" Because they were closing. And you came in late.

i think that customers who stay in the building after close should be hunted for sport

Years ago my sister told me abt how she used to play online survival games like Rust or something etc. w her friends and she'd go in VC this over-the-top 'girly' voice like "ummm hey I don't play videogames much and I reeeaaallly don't know what's going on teehee, can anyone pleaaase come help me I'm so confused" and then when some guy showed up all of her friends would swarm and kill

Don't skip the final step! Do a search on your new character name to make sure it's not an egregiously offensive slur in some real human language.