Perfectly Ordinary Dog

Low strength, very low dex, low constitution, high intelligence, low wisdom, godlike charisma

Is capable of doing anything a PC can do (climb/intimidate/bluff/etc) but with disadvantage on anything that would be difficult or impossible for a dog.

A loyal dog that follows the party. No one knows where it came from. It does its best to help the party, but it only knows a few generic commands. They are:

Sit: Perfectly Ordinary Dog sits. Leave It: Perfectly Ordinary Dog disengages from all opponents. Shake: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Earthquake. Come: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Teleport on itself to move directly next to the person who issues the command. Stay: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Turn to Stone on itself. The effect lasts until Perfectly Ordinary Dog is told otherwise. Speak: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Speak With Animals on itself. In addition to the spell effects, it removes disadvantage from all rolls involving speech (bluff, etc.) Sing: Perfectly Ordinary Dog uses Bardic Performance. Heel: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Cure Light Wounds on the most injured party member within range. Down: Perfectly Ordinary Dog casts Gate and summons a portal to a random netherworld dimension.

my dog in the tub looking like a sad wet rat: