Give me fire

PSYCHOLOGY FACT #81

I find it reassuring that deep inside we are all fighting our own personal demons. No demon is more or less scary than another. And, ultimately, even though we don’t believe it sometimes, we all have the strength to fight them.

Can you just tell me how you feel? Tell me if you want me in your life or tell me if you don’t . Tell me why you keep messaging me every now and then; tell me what it means. Tell me if it doesn’t mean anything at all. Tell me if you ever loved me or if you just pretended. Tell me if you ever cared about me or tell me you never did. Tell me if what we had was real. Just tell me how you f*cking feel even if it’s the words I don’t want to hear.

You hurt me, But it’s different this time. I’m not yelling at you or asking who she is or drinking myself unconscious. I’m just laying in bed thinking about the way you used to look at me, when I thought it was just you and me. My dreams have become nothing but nightmares, and you’re the starring role. I might wake up every night shaking but at least I still get to see you. Even when I’m awake I keep seeing you kiss her, And I can’t turn away when it’s stuck in my own head. It stings more and more each time. It’s a quiet kind of hurting, a lonely kind of hurting, a God-I-knew-this-would-happen kind of hurting,  But the pain isn’t the worst part. The worst part is that I’m stuck in this cycle of hating you and then pretending that I don’t care about you and then wishing that I’d never met you, But I always come back to missing you.

23. Being cheated on was the worst thing I’ve encountered. It makes me not able to trust anyone about anything.