yippee

He has to strain his eyes to see in these conditions, and it’s like you want his eyesight to diminish. Of course, Ranpo knows this isn’t your intention. Anyone with eyes could see what your true motives are. Like clockwork, you’ve burrowed your way under his arm and taken your place; resting your head on his chest, snuggled up to his side in your usual attempts to siphon all of his warmth. Although, he produces plenty of it much to your apparent delight this time of year. The fleece of his sweater, soft and warm against your cheek as you use him like a pillow, peering up at him so innocently through your lashes even though you’re both aware that you clearly know exactly what you’re trying to pull. And his heart stutters in his chest as he silently curses you just a little, because it’s unfair just how much you have him wrapped around your finger despite the fact that it’s supposed to be the opposite here. At the very least, he’d much rather you hand him an encyclopedia, or even the back of a shampoo bottle to read at this rate, something mindless– although, maybe not. It would be incredibly boring. 

Ranpo lets out an unconcealed, exasperated sigh. “...Let me guess. You want me to start over.” He gestures vaguely to the novel in his hand; the very one he’s attempted to read out loud to you over the past three nights now. And that’s three nights he’s had to read the same thing over and over, only to find you fast asleep a mere five pages in. You made it to eight last night, but– oh, you’re already yawning. He sighs again. 

“Mm…” You mumble softly, smacking your lips a little bit as you settle in a little more. “You don’t have to, I guess. You can start from wherever you left off.” Well, that would be ideal for him, too. He can recite the first chapter alone from memory easily at this point. But he also knows you well enough that you’ll be a little disappointed if you miss out on key details of the plot - or perhaps more likely, the entire story all together. 

“Let’s do this, then. What’s the last thing you remember happening?” He inquires gently.

“Um…” You narrow your eyes, your face scrunching up adorably in thought. “The main character was y’know…Introduced.” 

“...” That’s the very first scene. Not to mention how incredibly vague of an answer that is in the first place.  “...Most books start like that, y’know. You just don’t remember, do you?” “Uh…” You pinch your lips together, at least having the humility to look the tiniest bit bashful as you avert your gaze. “...No?”

Ranpo huffs out of his nose, the sound at least somewhat amused. Even so, you’re incredibly obvious. You’re not even trying to hide it. It’s that conspicuous display of disregarding the original intent of this little tradition the two of you have started - that is, reading together before bed. And although it’s not difficult to put two-and-two together in this scenario, less so for himself in many situations, it doesn’t stop the visible proof of heat rising to his cheeks - even if just subtly enough to dismiss as a trick of the barely present, warm glow illuminating the small room. 

A low noise gathers in his throat as he prepares to confront this inconsequential, yet growing elephant in the room. “You just like the sound of my voice, huh?” “Well, yeah…” You don’t hesitate to agree, burying your cheek further against his chest like you’re trying to snuggle into his fluttering heart. And if you notice the acceleration of his pulse, you don’t comment on it as you continue to perpetuate it. “I love it a lot. It makes me–” You cut yourself off with another yawn. “...Sleepy.”

With every little bit as loud and boisterous as Ranpo can be with both presence and voice, you’ve clearly grown to enjoy the contrast of those intimate moments between the two of you. When his voice dips into a lower tone - even and so soft; as if even the slightest reverberation would have you shattering like glass in his arms. So very precious to him. To ever have it demanded of you to feel anything but safe and protected in moments like these is simply unfair. He’s not surprised, honestly. Not at you for deeming him as your own personal sleep aid like this. But maybe it’s not so bad. The plot is kind of cliche and silly, but well, you laying on him like this is kinda nice. So maybe it’s something he can endure for a little while. You’ve been falling asleep quick enough as it is, anyways. Ranpo lets out his one millionth sigh for the night, but this time it ends with a soft, breathy chuckle. “Well? Make yourself comfortable, I guess.” 

And you do. Shifting under the blankets to pull the duvet snuggly over the two of you, you drape an arm over his narrow chest as you somehow manage to press even closer into him, leaving no significant gap between either of your bodies. It’s habitual how you melt into him and go all the more limp the moment he cracks open the book and begins, this time where he last left off. His voice is nothing short of mellifluous; so incredibly calming and familiar in every sense of the word. Of course it has your eyelids drooping, and why would you ever bother to fight that off? 

His arm bends at the elbow at a slightly awkward angle in order to run his delicate fingers through your hair; just the way he knows you prefer it. It’s a little uncomfortable, sure, and his arm will be asleep in minutes at this rate, but he does it regardless. And it feels worth it; peering down at you - albeit from his periphery - to catch even the smallest glimpse of your slightly parted lips and fluttering lids as they shut for good for the night; utterly blissed out from even the most simple affections that he gives you. You’re incredibly easy to please sometimes, he thinks. But that’s just because he’s special to you, isn’t it?

It’s for the third time that Ranpo questions to himself why he’s willing to go through such inconveniences for you. The question gains intensity each and every time it’s asked, as does the feeling that accompanies it. It confuses him, how he isn’t met with annoyance or even more than the vaguest form of amusement at the fact that he lets you get away with this as often as he does. More so, he’s met with this warmth in his chest that has been present for you for what seems to be an incredibly long time now. He very silently ponders this for only a brief moment as he reads the words on the page to you in that soft tone you’ve grown more than fond of. Because the answer is the most obvious one in the entire world, and can be found immediately.

Simply put, he loves you. 

It doesn’t take long at all. Mere minutes, really. And he eyes you every once in a while as if to check on you when you shift all that little bit closer, or let out a soft, contented sigh. And there’s nothing short of deep adoration he has for you the moment he finds you fast asleep on his chest with the smallest smile on your lips. 

Ranpo’s heart doesn’t skip a beat, nor does it stop. But an all too concurrent sense of warmth blossoms in his chest the moment that he quietly realizes that he’d like to be around you forever. Perhaps that alone would be more than a decent trade for indulging you like this every once in a while. 

He leans down a little, and ghosts his lips against your temple. “G’night. You’ll probably expect me to spoil you some more tomorrow too, hm?”

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Hey, nice timing! One sec, I've just gotta finish feeding everyone."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"You've got some letters! Better open them before that goat lookalike makes a meal out of them!"

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Folks are going wild over the Anomalous Animal Back To Nature Tour, and this is your chance to experience it at a discount rate! C'mon, help me hand out these fliers!"

"Everyone stuffs up sometimes. Don't let it get to you—just think of it as a funny story you can pull out later and laugh at! Gahaha!"

the only way he knows how to cope with his pain is to laugh at it. . .my therapist told me that was good actually! he's well adjusted! disregard the nightly drinking.

"You sure are fond of {PC}, aren't you, Peekaboo? You did nothing but bite me for the first three days after we met."

tbf you were from another house and it was probably fresh after the clash. . . .

"You reckon I work hard? Nah, this is nothing to write home about. All right, let's head to the next zone!"

"Hey, nice work out there today! Let's knock a few more jobs off the list then take a break, hey?"

oh my god you take breaks? or are you telling the player to take a break while you keep overdoing it. . . .

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Let's get this show on the road!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey, {PC}! What a coinkydink! I just finished my rounds."

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ren? He's working at that whacky restaurant again. I'll have to go pick him up later."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Towa's off to that hill again? I was gonna ask him to hold down the fort... Guess I'll have to stay put tonight."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Am I tired? Nah, don't worry, if there's two things I have confidence in it's my stamina and my bad luck!"

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"The Sinostra folks are causing a kerfuffle again... I don't need any of that! You should take care not to get dragged into their mess too, you hear?"

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"You wanna know how to get the animals to like you? You just gotta show how much you love them, like this— Ow! Don't bite me, Peekaboo!"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"None of our critters have warmed to Ren at all, even though he spends all day with them... Guess that handsome face only works on humans."

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Phew, time for a bre— Hm? That sounded like the Capybus! I'm gonna go check on her, watch Peekaboo for me!"

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"All right, the kids are all in bed. I'll just ask those two to hold down the fort, then I'll head out for a little walk..."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I went to wake that sleepyhead Ren up this morning, but it was like he couldn't see me even though he was looking straight at me. Reckon his eyesight's bad?"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Course I eat, don't worry about that! Just earlier I pinched some of Peekaboo's veggies when I was making his lunch and had them with a piece of bread!"

Please eat food. . . .

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"So much to do... Gotta take in the washing and get the shopping done... Argh! There's not enough hours in the day!"

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"This? It's an energy drink. Don't feel like the day's started till I have one. (gulp) (gulp) Pwaaah!"

PLEASE EAT FOOD AND SLEEP. . . . . . . . .

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ah man, there's soap all over the walls again! You're so good at playing with the animals Towa, if you could just learn how to clean up after you'd get full marks..."

Towa i love you but please help your mother boyfriend captain. . . .

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Ah! I can't do dogs! How'd you get in here?! Towa!! Come here!! No!! Don't bite me!!"

He is terrified of dogs????? Towa absolutely electrocuted the shit out of that dog. Rip in pieces. That dog truly fucked around and found out. It will never go in the dorm again.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Thanks for helping out again today, you're a real lifesaver. Sorry I can't walk you back..."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You reckon I look like an acrobat when I'm using my stigma? Gahaha! Maybe I'll practice balancing on a ball then!"

Baby no you are not a clown please what if you break something again--

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"...(gasp) Crap, I fell asleep... Did you put this blanket on me? Cheers... Maybe I'll grab a few more minutes..."

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"I swore I'd take responsibility for protecting all the lives in this park. I can't let anyone die on my watch."

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I don't know where I'd be without all the critters in this place if I'm honest with you. Well, gotta be my animal magnetism that's keeping them here anyway! Gahaha!"

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hm? There's some critters whose nails were getting dangerously long so I was giving them a clip. Come here, I'll do yours too if you want!"

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Oh, off for a cheeky night out? Gahaha! I know a good place, want me to take you?"

get wasted with him and give him somebody to talk to!! he needs someone besides romeo and rui to listen to him rant sometimes!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"A soft bed to lie down in and someone to chat with till I drift off... I'm really living the high life here."

He's a simple man. . .it's easy to imagine him holding your hand here while he dozes off. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Really learned the ropes here, haven't you? Once we have a little cash to spare, I'll buy you your own Jabberwock uniform!"

they must be expensive if it takes until Affinity 25 to get you one! He's so conscious about his finances(disregard all of the stuff he buys and never uses--) that being given a purchased gift is surely the highest tier of affection from him haha. But also. . .he treats the anomalous animals and oftentimes even the other ghouls in Jabberwock like they're his kids. This is his way of saying 'you're part of this family too.' Which is very sweet.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"Today's shearing day for the fluffy squad! It's actually a pretty hefty task, so I've gotta hop to it if I want to be done before summer..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Bucket, check. Trowel, check. Me and Towa are heading to the mountains to pick some veggies. You wanna come?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"We've been getting a lot of balmy days lately, and the sun's up longer. Can't help but dilly-dally when I'm working..."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I've gotta clean out all the sparrow nests soon or they won't be able to look after their kiddos properly. Looks like there's... 61 nests total..."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"A lot of customers have been saying they wanna stay cool in the summer so I changed up the course. Now we have a special summer-only waterside tour!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"It's hot so I invited Ren to go fishing, but his face screwed up like a prune and he yelled at me. What's he got against fish?"

Probably the same thing you have against dogs. . . .

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Phew... Finally finished harvesting all the feed crops for the day... Everyone's health is dependent on their quality, so now's the time to do it right."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Lotta bugs around this time of year... But they're important for the food chain, so I've gotta take care of them... Argh!! Give it a rest with the buzzing!"

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey, nice timing! I'm about to make a fire with the dead leaves I collected so I can bake some potatoes, take a seat!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I like the Jabberwock uniforms. They're made out of high-performance fabric that keeps you warm when it's cold out and safe when you're handling venomous critters!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The hibernation squad's gonna start eating us out of house and home this month... The food bill's gonna be rough... Eeek!"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"You reckon that's a rabbit on the moon? No way, it's a toad! C'mon, look closer!"

apparently the pareidolic toad in the moon is a Chinese myth! I wonder if they mean to suggest Haru is actually Chinese.

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"Rounds are quicker in winter since some of the critters hibernate. Makes things a little easie— Why's the kitchen on fire?!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Brr... Can't help but get green-eyed looking at the furry critters when it's this cold..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Nice and toasty... Hm? I'm talking about Peekaboo! He's better than a hot water bottle in this weather!"

Haru putting Peekaboo on your tummy when you're having cramps or just in pain in general is a cute mental image, especially since Peekaboo likes you lol

(between 8pm and 5am)

"It's cold outside so some of the critters have been sneaking into our rooms at night. You heard Ren scream just now, right?"

His birthday: (September 20th)

"It's my birthday?! Oops, totally slipped my mind... Thanks for remembering!"

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday. The Capybus is all yours today—I've got a custom birthday tour all planned out for you!"

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! How'd I ring it in? I was milking the cow and when I looked up I'd totally missed the first sunrise! Gahaha!"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"You're kidding, I can really have this?! They say a little sugar helps sweeten a tired day! Thanks a million, this'll keep me going a while!"

White Day: (March 14th)

"Ta-da! I bought you some hand cream, for the chocolate you got me last month. Thanks for everything you do here."

hand cream when you do all of that manual labor and probably have to wash your hands a lot is a really practical gift actually, gg haru

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Can you believe this? Ren got up early, and Towa fed everyone for me! ...Tried to make a joke for April Fools but it just made me feel empty inside..."

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Check it out! The pumpkin Capybus, in town for three days only! I sacrificed sleep and some of our budget to get her ready!"

If it's painted I really hope that paint is waterproof. . .never know when Towa's gonna make it rain. . . .

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas! This is a reindeer, she lives up in the mountains! And I'm Sagara Claus! Gahaha!"

just don't let romeo see it lolol

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Hey there, miss! Looking gorgeous as ever! ...Wait, I was kidding! Come back!"

(13 affinity and above)

"You seem pretty flat out today... Nothing for it, I'll get a few other things out of the way while I wait for you to get back."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Phew, that's a relief... I was worried one of ours ate you... Glad to see you back."