The Long Sleep

No, it’s not ambiguous, you just have no reading comprehension

If someone writes down 2 + 2 and you need them to add = 4 at the end for you to understand it, I don’t think that’s the fault of the writer

Let’s fucking go

Like say what you want about "bad queer representation", but this was the song that made me openly and happily accept that I was bisexual. To see him up there Black and beautiful, making music that I love, absolutely killing it? Yeah. You couldn't tell me shit. This man made me proud to be out. "This will make them think we're evil for being gay" hey newsflash dawg-

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

When the average heterosexual family man complains about his family not respecting him, it is almost always because there is absolutely nothing about him to respect and he has made no effort to connect with any of them and he considers the slightest pushback or lack of affection a sign of ‘disrespect’. When the average heterosexual family woman complains about her family not respecting her, it’s usually because her 14 year old son keeps calling her a bitch and throwing things at her while her husband laughs. The difference is so fucking stark.

My dad was a public defender when I was a child and he would have to drive all over the district to visit various defendants in various jails which I thought was very interesting and I liked to hear about his experiences in various jails and how different they all were. He drove me to school every day and sometimes I’d skip in and tell my classmates “My dad is going to the jail in [TOWN/CITY] today!” mind you, I went to public school in a not very nice little town so my teacher’s first thought wasn’t lawyer, she had other students with incarcerated parents. This was also occurring in the south where everyone is nosy as fuck so she eventually called my mother, presumably to scope out why her husband was a jail bird and if the chargers were relevant to me and my education in any way. My mom had to explain that my dad wasn’t an inmate who kept getting transferred and that going to jail is his job.

i appreciate the amount of people reblogging this despite me not really tagging this at all. im glad many of people feel the same anger i do.

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.

Fun update: event was canceled because literally nobody rsvp'd to the AI flier.

im so sexy and fun and fucking doomed

@kittybroker how much?

The sneaky sniler smiling their way on the market for the low low price of only $38.90!

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.

^ ^ ^