I have met five therapists and I hate them all. There's this thing of "you gotta find a new therapist you 'click' with" And I don't understand at all. What does their personality have to do with anything? I don't want to connect, I'm just there for them to do their job successfully. They never listen to me when I say what I want. I want to have a plan, homework, stuff like that, but they are never professional problem solvers. They don't know that they have to treat people? They say "I just listen and I can't advise" they aren't educational. It's really stuck up to think that people are paying for their friendship or something. I don't care if they feel sad for me, it's not about them, and even after I tell them to stop empathizing/reflecting etc they continue. They derail the conversation about frivolous bullshit because I guess the papers talk about warming up, but I'm always ready to spill the beans, they don't care about that. I hate when they make stupid frowny faces at me, I know what they are thinking, oh I saw in a book that this is powerful etc etc, and they think they are doing something. I don't like them being friendly. The first thing I say when I enter the office is I want something practical, and I say my expectations, they say sure, but they don't do it, I have to nudge them. They never educate, give any input, they lounge around just getting entertained. If this was any other doctor, it would be clearly unacceptable, but suddenly when it's about mental health, it's cool and fine for them trying to be friends, have no plan, derail conversations about the most boring things (what school, the name of the city, parents, cat etc etc)
I fundamentally disagree with the idea that you have to keep getting therapy regardless of whether you actually find it to be helpful and regardless of how much you get hurt in the process of "finding a therapist you click with." I don't think being in therapy is a moral obligation actually, or that people who choose not to be are inherently doing something wrong. I think this push towards therapy being obligatory OUTSIDE whether it's a useful tool for you is worrying
