This happens when a partner isn’t ready to reciprocate. These can be signs of other problems, but when it is present you’re basically living with an immature asshole who sees you as narcissism fuel and not a partner in life. They might become demanding of their selfishness, cry and self loathe or beg for you to keep giving but a considerable portion of that misery stems from them not having an internal supportive core. It can be coaxed but it’s not the center of their dynamics with what they bring beyond their boundaries; They essentially see and believe in appeasement: they are not reciprocating love.
Personal sentiment:
I had one partner speak clearly to me about fulfilling their “mates” role in far more than interpretive fancies. Continuous “My mate”, “The boyfriend” and “My man” in degrading objectification (If you ever read this Dan fuck you lol). He’d use them when posting socials with me in subjective praise of what I’d do for him and us. Whatever, he needed validity and success is something to enjoy! It did send me red flags but I’m always troubled in blaming him for years of it as I feel that we both allowed ourselves to degrade in several deviations from why we met. Perhaps some things shouldn’t be asked for. I know that I could have dissuaded him from appeasement more but it was historically easier for him to distort himself than to be everything that he was. I’m to blame for his concern of it now. I challenged his ego.
I’d like to conclude with the thought of him being more of a person now that we’re bled and gone but I can’t postulate that as he’s treated me like garbage. If pure altruism was water between that guy and my needs unmet I would have died drinking sand while telling him “Don’t worry! I’ll come out fine.” with purpose in his opportunity to make something for himself. Not my brightest of ideas, so thanks for bringing this up.
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