Pinky Blonde Tins

Soda becomes vodka and kisses turn into sex. Remember when dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mother was your hero? Race issues were about who ran the fastest and war was only a playground game. Remember when the most pain you felt was when you fell over and scraped your knees and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up.

You make her laugh like nobody else has before. But you also make her cry like nobody else has before, too.

I’m mad at myself, not you. I’m mad for always being nice, always apologizing for things I didn’t do, for getting attached, for making you a huge part of my life, wasting my time on you, depending on you, thinking about you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, changing for you, but most of all for not hating you when I know that I should. I still want you that is maddening to me.