Regan

I wanna be out in front of a projector that has a pretty pink spiral,on all fours with a camera on a counter while someone fucks me from behind.

The horror of noticing you can’t talk like you used to

You try to make a complex point, you feel the thought forming, but your tongue feels thick in your mouth

the words come out slow and simple

soon you forget the complex thoughts altogether

Big words don’t make any sense

It’s hard to say anything more than two syllables

You sound…dumb. And you know you do

You see the pity in people’s eyes

They talk down to you

Slowly

Simply

Like a child

Then one day you try to read a book you once loved

The sentences swim

The concepts are alien

You have to read a paragraph three, four, five times

And then you just

Stop

You close the book

The desire is gone

The ability is gone

Soon even things like text messages are hard to read

then comes numbers

math

logic

they just stop making sense

your friends like teasing you about it

“come on, what’s 8+4?” “what’s 3x5?”

you know the answers

of course you do

but the numbers are just shapes now

no meaning

you guess

“ten?” “sixteen?”

and everyone laughs

not a mean laugh

but worse

a fond, pitying laugh

that’s when you realize

this is permanent

this is you now

simpler

Your dick feels so good.

You feel like you’re going crazy.

Its feeling against your fingers, against the palm of your hand.

Thrusting.

That’s a good boy.

You feel nothing but your dick.

Stroke it. Pump it. Feel it. Rub it.

Your manhood.

Caress your manly, hairy stomach. You can feel your hard muscles tense up.

There was never another way to do it. You’re a man now. You’ve probably always been one. There is no escape. One must embrace his manhood now.

Fuck your hand until you’re out of breath, until your muscular legs tremble and give out. Until you’re nothing but a sweaty, manly mess.

Good boys think with their dicks.

And you’re a good boy, aren’t you?

Of course you fucking are.

Good boy.

You cannot escape your manhood. You cannot escape your maleness. This is what you were built for.

Men only cum when they’re told to. So you better work your cock real well until you’ve earned your orgasm, like a real fucking man.

Spit on it. Jerk it. Tease it. Edge it.

Stop.

Slap it. Punch it.

Take it like a fucking man.

Good boy.

Keep it up and you’ll eventually be allowed to let it all out. But for now, you’ll have to endure it like the man you are. No exceptions, no excuses.

Leaking.

Show your true colors. Always ask for permission to cum by acknowledging how much of a male you are. And that’s what you’ll always be: an obedient male, just an aching prick and a meat stick ready to feel pleasure and please others.

What a good prick.

You’re just your penis, after all.

And then, finally, you may be allowed to cum, like the filthy male you are.

Stop listening to the rational side of your brain. You know you need this.

You know it makes you better.