HIIIII, I was wondering if you could do a part 2 of As much as I try, where the reader realizes that she is in fact not in love with JJ and she lives Rafe, and it starts out really angsty but has a happy ending. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE
omg hi YES i love this!!!!!!!! i hope this is what you wanted :)
summary: part II of this post
wordcount: 2k
warnings: angst & smut
pairing: exboyfriend!rafe x fem!reader
masterlist. likes, reblogs, comments, and messages are always appreciated!!!! please feel free to interact :) requests are open
as much as i try pt. II —rafe cameron
“What are you still doing here?” Sarah said. You looked at her not intending to give an answer, as it was pretty obvious, but she continued. “Y/n, the bonfire!” she moved her arms exaggerating the situation.
“I’m so not going,” you scoffed.
“whAaat?” Cleo frowned. “Girl, let’s go” she said pulling your arm.
“I’m exhausted…” you whined. Heyward popped his head through the kitchen door. “Go have fun,” he said. “I’ve got it here.”
You looked at him with your eyes wide open. Why did he have to say anything?
“Kay, let’s go,” you said, giving up and leaving your apron on the counter.
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Cleo cheered.
The bonfire was your group’s favourite annual event. Although it was just another excuse to hang out together and get drunk, while also making fun of other people, you guys couldn’t miss it. Once there, you found a spot and began drinking, just having another fun night with your friends. Even though you were exhausted, you were really having a great time, but after six cans of beer you had to empty the tank. “I’ll be right back,” you said to the girls, standing up.
Your way back to your friends was a little bit more of a hassle now that the alcohol had really settled in. You bumped into ten different people, apologizing to every single one of them, before you found yourself in the middle of a crowd. Trying to find your way out by pushing people, you finally found an empty spot you could squeeze in, but someone else had thought the same and your face crashed into their chest. “Sorry,” you apologized smiling. You turned around, still determined to find your way back to your friends. And then you heard a laugh. A familiar one. Rafe was standing in front of you, smiling cockily before taking a sip of his beer. He was talking to Kelce and some girl who was standing between the two of them, looking at Rafe with hungry eyes. You didn’t move, unaware that you were staring, until he took another sip of his drink and saw you. He eyed your face, speechless. You could tell he wasn’t expecting you either; it had been six months since he left you at the dock. It had been six months since you had chosen JJ over him.
The moment you held eye contact it seemed everything else around you turned into a blur. No people, no music, nothing. But none of you moved, and none of you spoke. Before you could take a step forward, the girl from before pulled his arm, and the moment broke. She took his hand and dragged him out of the crowd, not before he gave you one last look.
Dizzy, you paced towards your friends, no intention of hurrying to do so.
“you saw a ghost?” Kie joked while you took a sit on the big towel.
You looked at her, eyes watery. “I saw Rafe.”
The girls insisted on leaving, trying to not make you feel uncomfortable by staying there. Good thing JJ was with the boys and completely unaware of it. “there he is,” Kie’s gaze followed a long figure who wasn’t alone. Rafe was walking towards his jeep next to that girl, who clang pathetically onto him. Neither the girls not you said anything else, but while you stared at the red car, you could feel the pity looks the girls were giving you. Because they knew.
That night JJ made love to you, and when he had finished, you turned around and pretended to fall asleep. You reached for the edge of the bed, avoiding JJ’s touch before crying yourself to sleep because you had realised, maybe too late, that it would always be Rafe.
The next day, after your double shift you noticed the tyre of the front wheel of your bike was flat . “You have to be kidding me,” you whispered to yourself.
“Let me give you a ride,” You turned around, puzzled by the raspy voice of who was standing behind you.
“Rafe,” you said softly. You couldn’t help but stare at him, maybe in disbelief, maybe in astonishment. You felt you heart was beating heavily in your chest, eager to come out.
“Come on,” he said, offering you his hand. You accepted it and followed him to the Jeep.
On your way home none of you uttered a word, but sometimes you would catch a glimpse of him looking at you. At some point, when you realised he was heading towards your house, you turned to look at him. Your eyes traced his side profile, admiring how the slightly fading lights of the lampposts made his eyes shine in a particular way, gazing at his lips and how he would wet them every now and then. You began to remember how your life had been when you shared it with Rafe. Every laugh, every ‘hi’, and every ‘bye’.
“You want me to leave you at John B’s?” he muttered, his eyes not leaving the road. He knew you were staring at him, but for some reason he refused to hold eye contact.
“No,” you paused. “I’m staying at mine.” You lied. You did because you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him JJ was waiting for you at his.
He said nothing, but you noticed his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel; he knew you were lying.
After a few minutes, you found yourselves in front of your house. Rafe turned the engine off, and a sudden silence embraced the two of you.
“How come you’re back?” you whispered, not looking at him.
But he did look at you. He rested his elbow on the car window, slowly brushing his forehead with two fingers. “Visiting.”
“Visiting who?” you insisted, now holding eye contact.
He eyed your face, breathing as if trying to put together everything he wanted to say. Before he could utter a word, your phone vibrated. It was JJ “r u on ur way” he had typed. Rapidly, you wrote back. “on my period. staying at mine 2night.”
“Thanks for the ride,” you said reaching for the door handle. But before you could pull it, his big hand gripped your arm. He said nothing, he just stared at you, both of your breathings heavy.
He eyed your face again, as if memorizing it. “You were looking nice,” he whispered. “Yesterday.”
“you were busy,” you teased. He left with someone else, why was he saying that, then?
He pressed his lips together before withdrawing his gaze. “t’was nothing.” He fidgeted his fingers.
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. You knew you had screwed up with that comment, because you had absolutely no right of saying anything.
After a small silence, a subtle sound scaped your lips. “I’ve missed you.” He turned your body so as to face him, unsure of what to say next. “Don't say this to me, y/n..." he whispered.
He lifted his head and you noticed as his eyes were watery he was really holding something in. Without taking his eyes off of you, he reached for your hand, slowly. His long fingers began caressing yours, and something inside you turned completely.
His eyes couldn’t leave your lips, and you felt him approaching. He reached for your face, and caressed it softly. You closed your eyes feeling his touch, realising how much you had missed it. You leaned in aswell, unsure of what you were doing. Your noses brushed against each other, his hand refusing to leave your cheek. You could hear his heart beating aggressively inside his ribcage before your lips, very, very slightly, touched. But everything broke the moment your phone started to ring. Rafe drew back when reality embraced him: he could see JJ on your caller ID.
You grabbed your phone, sweating, and declined the call. In a quick move, you took your things and for the second time that night, you reached for the door handle. “I have to go,” you said a bit edgily. He had returned to his previous pose: legs spread, elbow on the window and fingers brushing his frown. “Okay,” he uttered, not looking at you.
Rapidly, you made your way up the stairs of the porch and unlocked the front door, closing it behind you. You stood there, panting heavily until you fell on your knees and began sobbing. After a couple of minutes, you stood up and went to wash your face, now feeling slightly more relaxed.
While still on the bathroom, a loud banging emerged from your front door. You feared it would be JJ, as you hadn’t returned his call and he would be worried. But JJ didn’t have that temper. You ignored it, until the banging happened a second time, and a third, and a fourth. Rather restless, you reached for the knob and pulled the door open.
Rafe was standing there, breathing soundly like a furious bull. “Raf-“ but you couldn’t finish the sentence.
Rafe took a step forward, reaching for your face and began kissing you like your mouth was air and he was dying suffocated. Without ceasing his movements, he shut the door behind him with a heavy sound and walked in. You reciprocated his moves, kissing him anxiously. He then reached for your thighs, pulling you up and heading towards the kitchen counter.
He sat you there, refusing to leave your lips while he touched every single inch of your skin.
“Rafe,” you mumbled, reaching for air.
“Shut up,” he ordered. His hands found his belt and began unbuckling it without leaving your mouth. In a fast move, he hooked in his fingers your underwear and pulled it aside. His forehead resting against yours, he let himself inside you making you both moan. His hand rested on the kitchen cabinet while the other grabbed your lower back, helping you move faster; making you follow his paced rhythm. “God, I’ve missed you,” he said agitatedly. You knew he was close when he reached for your neck and wrapped his hand around it, emptying himself inside you with heavy thrusts. You both stood there, trying to catch your breaths.
After a few minutes of not saying anything, someone rang the doorbell. You both looked at each other, then at the front door, and then at each other again. “Y/n,” JJ’s voice sounded on the other side of the door making you gasp. “I brought you some chocolate.”
“Rafe,” you began, dismounting the counter. “You should go.” Rafe stood there, perplexed. “please,” you pushed his chest. “Please go!” you hushed. “Y/n…” he whispered in defeat.
“Please…” you begged again. And giving you one last look, he showed himself to the back door. Good thing he had parked behind the trees.
“Hey,” JJ said softly when you opened the door. Embracing you, he kissed your temple.
But before closing the door you saw Rafe witnessing the scene from his car, back there in the trees. You turned around, eyeing JJ with a pity stare knowing exactly what to do.
The next morning you took yourself up to Tanneyhill, determined to find Rafe. If he wasn’t there, you would know he had left again. You rang the doorbell once and waited in the veranda patiently. After a few seconds, you rang again. Finally, you heard some footsteps approaching the door, but to your surprise, it wasn’t Rafe who welcomed you.
“Hi!” A high-pitched voice greeted you. It was the brunette from the bonfire. And she was wearing one of Rafe’s shirts.
“Hi,” you could barely speak.
“Who is it?” Rafe’s figure appeared at the end of the hall, buttoning up his shirt. When he saw you, his hands dropped.
You took a step back and began descending the porch stairs rapidly, fighting the tears in your eyes. “Y/n!” you heard him yell. Once, twice, three times, each time closer: you knew he was following you. “Y/n, wait,” he panted. “Y/n!” he said pulling your arm. “What are you doing here?” he said.
“ME?” you yelled, troubled, tears streaming down your face. “What are YOU doing?”
“What?” Rafe scoffed, wryly. “You chose him, y/n.”
“I left him,” you stated. “Last night. I left him.”
Rafe just looked at you, unbelieving what he was hearing. “What?” he muttered.
“But I guess you are too busy now,” you said before turning around.
“Wait,” he ran to face you. “What do you mean?”
You turned your head to point at the girl who was staring at you from the porch. “Did you have sex with her? Last night?”
“After…?” he began. “Yes,” you said. “After me.”
“No,” he said with a straight expression. “How could you think I’d do that?” his eyes wandered in yours, and you could tell he was desperate for you to believe him.
“Then, what is she doing here with one of your shirts?” your voice cracked.
“When I arrived last night she was already here. With my dad,” he couldn’t help but laugh at how pathetic the situation was. “The shirt is my dad’s.”
Your chest suddenly felt light again while your brain took in everything Rafe was saying.
“To me,” Rafe said taking your face in his hands. “It has always been you. No matter what. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way.”
You kissed him softly. “You don’t have to try. It’s always gonna be you.”
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