I'm a cryptid in Stardew valley. I live on the outskirts of town. I disappear for days on end, purchasing daily one-way tickets to the calico desert. Nobody knows where I go while I'm there. Can occasionally be found fishing at random spots throughout town. I am never not running on at least one triple shot espresso. I take the abandoned minecarts to get around and am frequently seen disappearing into the sewers. I carry a sword for some reason. Once every week or two I will stride into your bedroom to deliver you your favorite meal. I'm a self-made millionaire. I attend all the town events and will go to your concert in the next town over. I have donated approximately 2583 items to the local museum and singlehandedly revitalized the town community center. There are rumors I can talk to junimos. I'm friends with the local wizard

cuntiness is such an important character trait

like yes i would hate that character in real life but watching them has a certain.... je ne sasquatch

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

@daised-daisy

WHERES THE FUCKIBG POST

GUYS WHERES THE DRAKE AND JOSH EASTER POST

2 years and counting 🙏🙏🙏