˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Your Favorite Prince ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

something within me is different and strange in a way i can not explain i feel as though i have 16 different fucking thought processes trying to streamline into one but it’s not working because each fucking thought process needs to be its own fucking thought process and IM SO SICK OF IT IT MAKES COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY SO MUCH HARDER

tbfh bpd in my experience has always felt like the “i’m not paid attention to enough” disorder and it kinda makes me feel like an entitled toddler

it’s starts getting pretty lonely coming home to basically nobody yet always seem to see everyone gushing and touching eachother. i’m not even mad atp i think this is just the universe telling me i will only ever be good enough to have as a background friend

i can’t be in a relationship until i do a lot of maturing and get on mood stabilizers to be honest and my autistic ass can’t tell when someone is into me anyway not only because i’m oblivious as hell but refuse to believe someone would want a fat fuck like me

it really is embarrassing how too much I am. I’m too loud, I’m too needy, I’m too much of fucking everything. I’m so fucking autistic and annoying it hurts it really fucking hurts knowing how insufferable I am.

when will i stop being a dying horrible awful person and genuinely just actually die

can someone put me out of my fucking misery please I swear to god I cant take it anymore I'm so fucking done with existing as a person I want to kill myself SOOOOOOOOO fucking bad

I don't think I'm someone anyone wants to live with. All I do is take and take and take and expect things handed to me on a silver platter because poor baby's mommy and daddy didn't love him enough and now I'm a grown ass man with the emotional control of a fucking toddler and all I do is sit and mope about how awful of a human being I am while doing absolutely jack all about it and sometimes I really do think life would have been so much better if I actually succeeded with killing myself. I don't know how anyone in this fucking world actually stands me considering my own parents can't even stand me. I'm so fucking tired and done with everything all the time and I wish I could kill myself but I'm too fucking pussy to do so because "what if it hurts!!1! I dont wanna feel pain!11!" and all I do is fucking cat strtch myself whenever I do cut myself because all I ever do is the attention seeking bullshit I'm such a fucking pussy I cant stand it

i haven’t felt this fucking lonely since middle school

actually the more i think about it the more i genuinely don’t think i want anything romantic because typically romantic relationships mean getting physically affectionate and as someone who doesn’t even know how to kiss i don’t think i want to go through that shame ritual 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

“he was my boyfriend and now he acts like he doesn’t even know me!” well yeah duh you were the one who said you wanted to “break it off” to get to know me “better” since it’s different now we’re living together? I’m also learning you too??? Is that not what the fuck you were asking for??? Bro. Rolling my eyes SO FAR back into my head dude

god i really miss you but it’s not the same anymore. i don’t even get jealous anymore. im just grieving you like you’ve died