˗ˏˋ sori. ˊˎ˗

The voice caught her off guard. Sori had a specific need from this store. She sent her assistant to get things often, though she had never been herself. The brunette proceeded. "I apologize. I had an order for pickup for cosmO+. Should I come back at another time?" She had stepped towards the back.

Sori had an order to pick up. Treats for the donors at cosmO+. They were often treated, and treated well. She was staring at his food, quite curious to its taste, actually. Sure, she didn't need food as a vampire, but it didn't mean that she didn't like the taste.

The voice caught her off guard. Sori had a specific need from this store. She sent her assistant to get things often, though she had never been herself. The brunette proceeded. "I apologize. I had an order for pickup for cosmO+. Should I come back at another time?" She had stepped towards the back.

Was she punishing herself? Yes. This was all she could think to do, to make up for what she had done. The people she had hurt when she had lost complete control. She couldn't even remember some of it, only hoped that it wasn't any worse than what she remembered. Still she had a permanent reminder of what she'd done, a permanent ley line that cut across the left side of her neck now visible to all who looked closely enough. She was in the back room trying to juggle items when she heard the bell above the door go off. "I'm closed right now!" She called out. She wasn't sure she could face anyone right now.

The voice caught her off guard. Sori had a specific need from this store. She sent her assistant to get things often, though she had never been herself. The brunette proceeded. "I apologize. I had an order for pickup for cosmO+. Should I come back at another time?" She had stepped towards the back.

Sori had an order to pick up. Treats for the donors at cosmO+. They were often treated, and treated well. She was staring at his food, quite curious to its taste, actually. Sure, she didn't need food as a vampire, but it didn't mean that she didn't like the taste.

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

It was progress. Alex getting it out and verbalizing it, even if she was shouting, was progress. These were things that they could work on over time. It would not be easy, but Sori did not doubt that Alex could do it. “They will lessen with time. Not to mention, your irritability is probably higher because you are starving.” It was worth being said. 

She stood still. “If you don’t want to do this, if you don’t want to try, I cannot force you to survive. I will help you any way that I can, but I cannot keep you alive if you want to die. If you want to truly die, no one can help you. Tell me. Say those words, and tell me that you want me to leave.”

Sori gave a small nod of her head… an understanding nod. “I… wanted to turn you myself someday,” she confessed, only within these four walls. “Or at least, it was in my overall plan for things. I never wanted a fledgling, but when I saw you… I wanted you so badly,” she held her own hands in front of her. 

“I still want you. My heart… whatever it is of it that I have left, it hurts with you because you are hurt. But they can never ruin you in my eyes — no bites or scars would make me want you less. I don’t expect for you to believe me just now. This will all take time for you.” 

Alex wasn’t sure what she wanted in the moment, it was just too much. Part of her wanted to curl up in a ball in the dark and silence the world around her. The other part of her wanted to scream, to tear apart those who had done this to her, to tear her own skin off as if that would make her forget what happened. “I’m not hungry!” She snapped, the words coming out without even thinking. She couldn’t eat, wouldn’t. 

She watched Sori straighten and at the words she could only look back down at the floor. Did she want to die? No, she had fought so hard as a human to survive that she couldn’t let it end like this. But she also wasn’t sure she could live like this, with this. “I can’t stop picturing it over and over again. I don’t know how to let it go, I don’t think I can...” 

Alex wasn’t sure what she wanted in the moment, it was just too much. Part of her wanted to curl up in a ball in the dark and silence the world around her. The other part of her wanted to scream, to tear apart those who had done this to her, to tear her own skin off as if that would make her forget what happened. “I’m not hungry!” She snapped, the words coming out without even thinking. She couldn’t eat, wouldn’t. 

She watched Sori straighten and at the words she could only look back down at the floor. Did she want to die? No, she had fought so hard as a human to survive that she couldn’t let it end like this. But she also wasn’t sure she could live like this, with this. “I can’t stop picturing it over and over again. I don’t know how to let it go, I don’t think I can…” 

The tears are falling again and she wants to curl into a ball and disappear into herself. But she can’t help but look up at Sori again when she admitted she had wanted to change her. “I am ruined…broken.” She muttered, wiping at her own eyes. She felt everything and nothing all at once and she was lost. Wasn’t sure what to do, couldn’t imagine anything beyond even the simple task of sitting here and talking. 

. . . . 

It was valid for her to feel opposition towards eating. She was not ready yet. There was no switch that Sori could provide to her to turn off all of that pain - but the vampiress wished that there was.”It takes time.” Sori herself had settled in rather easily, after the torture and pain, once she was actually turned — but at that point, the girl had been so crazed... how could she not? 

“Not ruined,” Sori spoke softly, “— hurt, angry, scared... of course. Not ruined. But Alex, there are no decisions that have to be made tonight. None.” She kept her voice paced and low, as so it was soft and just between the two of them, despite their distance. 

“And even so, already, you’re doing well.” The little newborn vampire hadn’t tried to off herself at this point. Not yet. That was a good sign. “If you want my help,” she began, “— the offer has a standing reservation at the table. There is no rush. All of this is going to take time. It’s hard. It’s new. It wasn’t planned, but it is something that you can overcome. You have not survived so long, even as a human, by being weak or dumb.” 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

“You should be grateful for that,” Sori was not a model citizen. The distance created was not a surprise to her. Sori stood, and she straightened the area where the girl had once laid - even fluffing her pillow so that perhaps it would be more comfortable for her. “But they did not kill you. Your body pulled through. You survived. You will always remember. I could compel you to forget your fear,” especially now, with her powers enhanced, “…but what good would that do you? You have to learn how to overcome it.” 

“You are hurt. You are angry. You are scared. I get that,” she turned to face her, but she did not move closer to her. She gave her space. “Misery can be changed. It does not go on forever. There is no rush, Alexandra. You cannot heal overnight - but you must make first steps, no matter how small they may seem.” 

Sori watched her for a moment, and she was quiet. She was a young vampire herself, but not a newborn. It was a responsibility she would willingly take. “If you still want me to leave, I will… but you can do this, Alex. You will. If death was meant for you, we would not be standing here. Trust me.” 

Alex slid down the wall and sat on the floor, watching Sori as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She felt bad, watching her stand and fix the spot she had just been sitting. She didn’t want to offend Sori but she also couldn’t stand being touched at the moment, it was too soon. “My fear?!” Her voice was incredulous as it finally rose an octave. “I can deal with the fear, I’ve lived with that my whole life! What about the rage that makes me want to tear everyone apart and scream until I have nothing left? What about the disgust every time I have to look at my body and see the scars everywhere? Or all the other overwhelming things that I’m currently feeling?” 

Alex slid down the wall and sat on the floor, watching Sori as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She felt bad, watching her stand and fix the spot she had just been sitting. She didn’t want to offend Sori but she also couldn’t stand being touched at the moment, it was too soon. “My fear?!” Her voice was incredulous as it finally rose an octave. “I can deal with the fear, I’ve lived with that my whole life! What about the rage that makes me want to tear everyone apart and scream until I have nothing left? What about the disgust every time I have to look at my body and see the scars everywhere? Or all the other overwhelming things that I’m currently feeling?” 

She shook her head, running her hand over her face and back into her hair. She couldn’t let go of the misery, wouldn’t be able to, not when there was a daily reminder every time she looked in the mirror. “I can’t.” She breathed. “I can’t move on from this. I don’t know how to do this, I don’t want to.” She looked back up at Sori, who seemed so sure and wished she could feel that way. Instead she felt like she was crumbling, like one little wrong move and she would turn to ash. “I was supposed to be able to choose.” She whispered, blinking back tears. “Now my choice is not only gone but they ruined me. I can’t go back to normal…”  

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

It was progress. Alex getting it out and verbalizing it, even if she was shouting, was progress. These were things that they could work on over time. It would not be easy, but Sori did not doubt that Alex could do it. “They will lessen with time. Not to mention, your irritability is probably higher because you are starving.” It was worth being said. 

She stood still. “If you don’t want to do this, if you don’t want to try, I cannot force you to survive. I will help you any way that I can, but I cannot keep you alive if you want to die. If you want to truly die, no one can help you. Tell me. Say those words, and tell me that you want me to leave.”

Sori gave a small nod of her head... an understanding nod. “I... wanted to turn you myself someday,” she confessed, only within these four walls. “Or at least, it was in my overall plan for things. I never wanted a fledgling, but when I saw you... I wanted you so badly,” she held her own hands in front of her. 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

“It has not, but it is trying to.” Sori could see it lingering next to the girl, like a curse waiting to prey on her. The next few days would be pivotal to the fledgling’s survival. “I was… human once…” She dare not say what she was, not even to Alex. Her knowing would only put her in danger. Though Sori was no longer a huntress, she killed many of supernaturals during her run, and still knew of many active, hunting families. 

She slowly raised her hands up to gently brush the tears from beneath Alex’s eyes. She used extreme caution. As if the girl was made of glass. “I was tortured for maybe a week… but by family, long before then… but something snapped.” She did not let it break her - and Alex did not need to be a huntress to be strong. No… She had that down all on her own. 

“They cannot hurt you anymore, Alex. Let me help you.” Sori moved slowly, but she did move forward, to softly press her forehead against Alex’s. To nuzzle her there. “You have been on your own for so long — afloat in a sea of supernaturals. You want to be left alone, but you do not have to be alone. It will not be easy. There is much to learn, but I promise you, babygirl, if you let me help you… it will get better.” 

“You will take the cards dealt to you… and you will make them fold. Anyone who doubts you. Anyone who has hurt you. You can rise, liteul pinigseu.” 

Alex had always wanted to believe she was strong, but at the moment she realized that she was weak. And she found that she didn’t care, she was exhausted and overwhelmed. She just wanted it all to stop. She looked up when Sori explained that she had once been human, wondering what the story might be. Anything to distract her from her own misery at the moment. 

She flinched back away from Sori as she brushed the tears from her skin. She didn’t want to be touched, all she could think about was the attack and their hands and mouths on her. She shook her head. “I’m not you...” She couldn’t survive this like Sori had, they were different people and she wasn’t strong enough to withstand this. 

Alex had always wanted to believe she was strong, but at the moment she realized that she was weak. And she found that she didn’t care, she was exhausted and overwhelmed. She just wanted it all to stop. She looked up when Sori explained that she had once been human, wondering what the story might be. Anything to distract her from her own misery at the moment. 

She flinched back away from Sori as she brushed the tears from her skin. She didn’t want to be touched, all she could think about was the attack and their hands and mouths on her. She shook her head. “I’m not you…” She couldn’t survive this like Sori had, they were different people and she wasn’t strong enough to withstand this. 

The moment Sori leaned in she was off the couch and across the room, quicker than even she could process as she pressed herself against the wall. “Please…don’t.” She breathed, her voice broke on a sob. “They don’t have to hurt me anymore, they left their mark for everyone to see! This won’t get better. I can’t stand to look at myself, can’t stand anyone else to look at me or touch me. It’s all too much and I just want it to stop. They should have killed me. I can’t do this Sori…I’m miserable.” 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

“You should be grateful for that,” Sori was not a model citizen. The distance created was not a surprise to her. Sori stood, and she straightened the area where the girl had once laid - even fluffing her pillow so that perhaps it would be more comfortable for her. “But they did not kill you. Your body pulled through. You survived. You will always remember. I could compel you to forget your fear,” especially now, with her powers enhanced, “...but what good would that do you? You have to learn how to overcome it.” 

“You are hurt. You are angry. You are scared. I get that,” she turned to face her, but she did not move closer to her. She gave her space. “Misery can be changed. It does not go on forever. There is no rush, Alexandra. You cannot heal overnight - but you must make first steps, no matter how small they may seem.” 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

Whatever heart Sori has, it goes out to her. It wasn’t supposed to be like this - she could agree. Sori always wanted to turn Alex herself, when she was prepared for a fledgling. She walked further into the apartment, and when the new vampire begins to shake and speak, Sori knelt by her side. She did not kneel often. It was something burrowed into her as a hunting youth — they did not yeild. They did not beg. It was something that she carried with her even until this day. 

Their rebirths had been different. “Alex…” Sori kept her hands to herself. “You are not a weak girl. You were a victim, but you do not have to stay one. As a human you foun ways to charm supernaturals, to keep them eating out of the palm of your hand — you’ve stayed alive, and for a long time, where so many others have not. Do not let this destroy you.” 

She kept her dark eyes on the girl’s green hues. “I will teach you…” It was a large responsibility. She would also need to keep her hidden from Fiamma and Chace. A secret that she was willing to keep. There had only ever been two — the existence of her elder adopted sister, and now this, possibly. “Look at me,” she whispered, “—let me help you.” 

Alex can’t help but curl further into a ball, further away from Sori as she kneels in front of her. She knows she’s trying to be careful with her, but she didn’t want to be touched. Didn’t want to be looked at too closely. How was she supposed to go on like this? When she looked like this? She wasn’t sure if Vivianne would want her back at Desires, or if she could even stomach going back to dancing when she looked as she did now. Her looks had been something she was so proud of, and now nearly all of her skin was a reminder of what had been done to her. 

She laughs harshly, the sound foreign even to herself. She was weak, if she hadn’t been she wouldn’t have let it happen. This time there was no denying the tears that fell as she finally looked at Sori. “It’s already destroyed me. I don’t want this.” She whispers, her voice cracking as she shakes her head. “I don’t want help, I don’t want to be taught. I can’t do this,  I won’t.” She didn’t want to live like this. She could starve for all she cared, let her continue to suffer until it was all over. 

Alex can’t help but curl further into a ball, further away from Sori as she kneels in front of her. She knows she’s trying to be careful with her, but she didn’t want to be touched. Didn’t want to be looked at too closely. How was she supposed to go on like this? When she looked like this? She wasn’t sure if Vivianne would want her back at Desires, or if she could even stomach going back to dancing when she looked as she did now. Her looks had been something she was so proud of, and now nearly all of her skin was a reminder of what had been done to her. 

She laughs harshly, the sound foreign even to herself. She was weak, if she hadn’t been she wouldn’t have let it happen. This time there was no denying the tears that fell as she finally looked at Sori. “It’s already destroyed me. I don’t want this.” She whispers, her voice cracking as she shakes her head. “I don’t want help, I don’t want to be taught. I can’t do this,  I won’t.” She didn’t want to live like this. She could starve for all she cared, let her continue to suffer until it was all over. 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

“It has not, but it is trying to.” Sori could see it lingering next to the girl, like a curse waiting to prey on her. The next few days would be pivotal to the fledgling’s survival. “I was... human once...” She dare not say what she was, not even to Alex. Her knowing would only put her in danger. Though Sori was no longer a huntress, she killed many of supernaturals during her run, and still knew of many active, hunting families. 

She slowly raised her hands up to gently brush the tears from beneath Alex’s eyes. She used extreme caution. As if the girl was made of glass. “I was tortured for maybe a week... but by family, long before then... but something snapped.” She did not let it break her - and Alex did not need to be a huntress to be strong. No... She had that down all on her own. 

“They cannot hurt you anymore, Alex. Let me help you.” Sori moved slowly, but she did move forward, to softly press her forehead against Alex’s. To nuzzle her there. “You have been on your own for so long — afloat in a sea of supernaturals. You want to be left alone, but you do not have to be alone. It will not be easy. There is much to learn, but I promise you, babygirl, if you let me help you... it will get better.” 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

If she truly did not want to see Sori right now… she wouldn’t be happy, but she would understand. Still, when the door opened, Sori looked inside. “Alex…” The vampiress stepped inside, slowly closing the door behind her. Her first worry is the girl’s mental health, but also if she has fed… at all. Sori brought things for that, tucked away and being kept warm in a cross-body courrier bag she kept on her hip. 

“Now is probably not the best time to be alone. No fledgling should be.” Sori did not have a fledgling of her own, though she had been tempted to create one. “I can make them disappear, if you remember their faces…” her words were hushed, but she knew that Alex could hear her. And while they tried to carry a small amount of playfulness, Sori was serious. She was a professional at both hunting and hiding bodies. She knew how to be unseen in a seen world. 

“Have… have you eaten, Alex?” That, she was sure, would take time… 

Alex is only glad that she’s already fully dressed, the sweats doing a good job of concealing everything. She didn’t want to look at herself let alone anyone else look at her. She doesn’t respond as Sori says her name, instead she heads into the living room and sits down, covering herself with a blanket as if she needs the extra coverage. It’s all still strange and overwhelming, the vampire sight making it easy for her to see Sori in the dark without the lights. Even her voice sounded different. 

She winced as she was called a fledgling and it was hard not to flash back to the attack when Sori offers to make them disappear. It’s triggering, and she doesn’t even realize as she begins to shake. “So many of them...” She whispers, her voice distant, as if she wasn’t even in the room with Sori at the moment. But back to the moment where she thought she was dead, to the moment she now wishes would have been the end. 

She’s brought back at the mention of eating and she shakes her head. “I’m not hungry.” A lie, but even the thought of feeding, of blood, makes her sick to her stomach. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

Alex is only glad that she’s already fully dressed, the sweats doing a good job of concealing everything. She didn’t want to look at herself let alone anyone else look at her. She doesn’t respond as Sori says her name, instead she heads into the living room and sits down, covering herself with a blanket as if she needs the extra coverage. It’s all still strange and overwhelming, the vampire sight making it easy for her to see Sori in the dark without the lights. Even her voice sounded different. 

She winced as she was called a fledgling and it was hard not to flash back to the attack when Sori offers to make them disappear. It’s triggering, and she doesn’t even realize as she begins to shake. “So many of them…” She whispers, her voice distant, as if she wasn’t even in the room with Sori at the moment. But back to the moment where she thought she was dead, to the moment she now wishes would have been the end. 

She’s brought back at the mention of eating and she shakes her head. “I’m not hungry.” A lie, but even the thought of feeding, of blood, makes her sick to her stomach. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

Whatever heart Sori has, it goes out to her. It wasn’t supposed to be like this - she could agree. Sori always wanted to turn Alex herself, when she was prepared for a fledgling. She walked further into the apartment, and when the new vampire begins to shake and speak, Sori knelt by her side. She did not kneel often. It was something burrowed into her as a hunting youth — they did not yeild. They did not beg. It was something that she carried with her even until this day. 

Their rebirths had been different. “Alex...” Sori kept her hands to herself. “You are not a weak girl. You were a victim, but you do not have to stay one. As a human you foun ways to charm supernaturals, to keep them eating out of the palm of your hand — you’ve stayed alive, and for a long time, where so many others have not. Do not let this destroy you.” 

She kept her dark eyes on the girl’s green hues. “I will teach you...” It was a large responsibility. She would also need to keep her hidden from Fiamma and Chace. A secret that she was willing to keep. There had only ever been two — the existence of her elder adopted sister, and now this, possibly. “Look at me,” she whispered, “—let me help you.” 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

“You’d send me away?” Her voice was soft from the other side. Sori had done some isolating herself, because she did not want to do something that she may regret, or may not regret. Her strength was still beyond what it should have been. Still, she had heard of what had happened to her little human. 

Sori was not a kind person by default. Her step-father had raised her to be cruel, and her own sire tormented her before finally choosing to turn her. She was not naturally kind nor caring… but she cared for Alex. 

“I know that you’re hurt. I understand. There is no reason that you have to go through this alone, Alex. Open the door.” 

Alexandra bit her lip as she spotted Sori on the other side of the door. Of course she would come, now when she was at her lowest, hardly able to function. She felt the tears coming to her eyes even as she listened to Sori speak. Hurt didn’t begin to cover how she felt at the moment, she didn’t want any of it. 

She debated whether or not she wanted to open the door but after a moment she finally unlocked it and pulled it open. She stepped back just as quickly and into her dark apartment, away from the light of the hallway and far enough away that hopefully Sori couldn’t get a good look at her. “I’m fine...” She lied, her weak voice betraying her. “I just want to be left alone.” 

Alexandra bit her lip as she spotted Sori on the other side of the door. Of course she would come, now when she was at her lowest, hardly able to function. She felt the tears coming to her eyes even as she listened to Sori speak. Hurt didn’t begin to cover how she felt at the moment, she didn’t want any of it. 

She debated whether or not she wanted to open the door but after a moment she finally unlocked it and pulled it open. She stepped back just as quickly and into her dark apartment, away from the light of the hallway and far enough away that hopefully Sori couldn’t get a good look at her. “I’m fine…” She lied, her weak voice betraying her. “I just want to be left alone.” 

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

If she truly did not want to see Sori right now... she wouldn’t be happy, but she would understand. Still, when the door opened, Sori looked inside. “Alex...” The vampiress stepped inside, slowly closing the door behind her. Her first worry is the girl’s mental health, but also if she has fed... at all. Sori brought things for that, tucked away and being kept warm in a cross-body courrier bag she kept on her hip. 

“Now is probably not the best time to be alone. No fledgling should be.” Sori did not have a fledgling of her own, though she had been tempted to create one. “I can make them disappear, if you remember their faces...” her words were hushed, but she knew that Alex could hear her. And while they tried to carry a small amount of playfulness, Sori was serious. She was a professional at both hunting and hiding bodies. She knew how to be unseen in a seen world. 

“Have... have you eaten, Alex?” That, she was sure, would take time... 

Perhaps it was cowardly to be hiding inside her apartment, but at the moment she couldn’t care. She knew she should be out helping clean up the streets. But she wasn’t sure she could leave this apartment without falling apart. She didn’t want to be around anybody, didn’t want anyone to see her. Hell she didn’t even want to see herself. It was for that reason she wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt, covering every inch of skin she could. She’d barely left her bed since she’d been allowed to come home, ignoring her phone. She hated to say it but she was grateful there was some damage to Desires and that for now it was closed. She couldn’t face the idea of going to work. She was pacing the apartment when the knock sounded on the door and she froze, silent for a moment as she debated whether to answer. She wandered closer to the door but still didn’t open it, instead peaking through the eye hole to see who it was. “Please go away…I can’t do company.”

@covairecitystarters

˗ˏˋ . ˊˎ˗

“You’d send me away?” Her voice was soft from the other side. Sori had done some isolating herself, because she did not want to do something that she may regret, or may not regret. Her strength was still beyond what it should have been. Still, she had heard of what had happened to her little human. 

Sori was not a kind person by default. Her step-father had raised her to be cruel, and her own sire tormented her before finally choosing to turn her. She was not naturally kind nor caring... but she cared for Alex. 

“I know that you’re hurt. I understand. There is no reason that you have to go through this alone, Alex. Open the door.”