DOES THE POST-CREDITS SCENE IMPLY VIC IS HALF IMAGINARY FRIEND???
That is the most important post-credits scene because āmy imaginary friend fucked my dadā has some veeeeeery uncomfortable undertones.
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@blamgranules
DOES THE POST-CREDITS SCENE IMPLY VIC IS HALF IMAGINARY FRIEND???
That is the most important post-credits scene because āmy imaginary friend fucked my dadā has some veeeeeery uncomfortable undertones.

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You know, Iām beginning to think this chick likes me.
Logan & Ororo
This has officially become my favorite scene ever! I really hope itās not just a one-time moment and we'll see more of it š¤§
Itās been a minute since Iāve cried laughing at a d20 bit and man is it good to be back

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CROWD CONTROL x DIMENSION 20
ROUND TWO
Lucy Darling: āDied a Winnerā? Thatās charmingly optimistic of you. Does that make you a ghost?
Died a Winner: Yeah.
Lucy Darling: Ohā¦interesting. I didnāt think that was going to be the answer. Now, I notice you are sporting a beak and feathers. Is this a costume? Do they have costumes for ghosts?
Died a Winner: No, Iām a bird.
Lucy Darling: Youāre a bird ghostā¦alright. Were you also a bird in life?
Died a Winner: Yeah.
Lucy Darling: āYeah.ā Okay. How did you die, my love?
Died a Winner: Big ink hand.
Lucy Darling: Big ink hand? ⦠I hate to be the one to tell you this, darling, but as stories of oneās own death go, thatās a little lacking in the details department.
Paul F Tompkins (at bar): Oh, that reminds me. Pagetās birthday is coming up.
āāā
Jimmy Carr: āKilled a Godā? Well, well, well, good for you. Anyone I know?
Killed a God: No.
Jimmy Carr: No. Which god was it?
Killed a God: Yes?
Jimmy Carr: *Yes?*
Killed a God: Yes.
Jimmy Carr: Third base. What do you mean, āyesā?
Killed a God: The godās name was āYes?ā
Jimmy Carr: The godās name was āYesā. In a pantheon with Rush and Jethro Tull, were they? Did you get them all or just Jon Anderson?
Killed a God: I donāt know who that is.
Jimmy Carr: Sure. Alright, how did you kill this god?
Killed a God: Well, I created it and thenā¦
Jimmy Carr: You created the god? As in you made him up?
Killed a God: Wellā¦I meanā¦kind ofā¦
Jimmy Carr: Hey, hey, hey, donāt get embarrassed. Thatās an exclusive club to be in, that is. Itās you, Moses, Muhammad, and L Ron Hubbard. Well done. So, howād you kill him?
Killed a God: I just didnāt evangelize enough and it just died. So, likeā¦neglect.
Jimmy Carr: Point of clarification. When you say āgodā, do you mean ātamagotchiā?
āāā
Paul F Tompkins: You, āMister Marchā, big John Phillips Souza fan?
Mr March: No, I was on a calendar.
Paul F Tompkins: Okay, so you were the model for the month of March on a calendar?
Mr March: Yep.
Paul F Tompkins: Is there more to this story? And by āmoreā, I mean āanythingā. Was it a really famous calendar?
Mr March: It was a firemanās calendar.
Paul F Tompkins: Okay, so thatās not a story. It barely qualifies as an anecdote.
Mr March: I guess.
Paul F Tompkins: At least, you admit it. Okay, you: āBone Haverā. Whatās your story? Can you do better than āsomeone took a picture of me onceā?
Bone Haver: Uhā¦yeah, well, I have all of my bones.
Paul F Tompkins: As many do.
Bone Haver: Yeah, soā¦I was in a river for 250 years and I kept all of my bones.
Paul F Tompkins: Iām dangerously close to owing Mr March an apology. Okay...Iām not an expert in decomposition, but I feel like, if your body was in a river for 250 years, your bones would be the last thing to go.
Bone Haver: I wouldnāt know. I still have all of my bones.
Paul F Tompkins: Mr March, I want to offer you my sincerest apologies.
Mr March: Everyone makes mistakes.
Paul F Tompkins: Yes, they do and I am racking them up tonight.
āāā
Lucy Darling: Hello, Mr March, what do you do aside from please me immensely?
Mr March: Iām a firefighter.
Lucy Darling: A firefighter, thatās fun. And I understand you do calendars.
Mr March: Just the one. I donāt know if Iām going to do the next one.
Lucy Darling: Oh, I think you should. I think you should do all of them. In fact, I think you should do a whole calendar all by yourself.
Mr March: I donāt think that would sell very well.
Lucy Darling: Thatās okay, as long as I get one. Now, I would love to keep talking to you, but I canāt think of anything else funny to say. Soā¦you there. Whatās your t-shirt say? āButt uglyā? Youāre not butt ugly, youāre adorable. Why does your t-shirt say ābutt uglyā, my love?
Butt Ugly: Well, I run a shop that sells butt ugly stuff.
Lucy Darling: You sell very unattractive things? Is there a brisk trade in that?
Butt Ugly: Iām gonna keep selling butt ugly stuff til I die.
Lucy Darling: A man with a plan, I like that. Whatās the ugliest thing you have?
Butt Ugly: Well, I once gave a gal a pair of rocket boots for a bag of drugs.
Lucy Darling: You failed to answer my question while succeeding at raising several more. I donāt suppose these were medicinal drugs, were they?
Butt Ugly: I suppose it depends on what ails you. *Weird little laugh*
Lucy Darling: Yes, alright. You know, Iāve sometimes wondered what drowning felt like and I think this is it.
āāā
ROUND THREE
Jimmy Carr: Letās see. Whatās yours say? āDark Lordā? Waah, yeah! Dark lord! Watch out! What makes you a dark lord other than having a very small penis?
Hacktivist: Itās not small!
Dark Lord: *suicidal embarrassment*
Dark Lord: I didnāt choose this. Iām not really the dark lord.
Jimmy Carr: Iāll tell you what, we already knew that. So, whyās it on your t-shirt?
Dark Lord: There were these demons who were trying to make me their dark lord and I refused.
Jimmy Carr: You refused to be a dark lord? Well, I refused to be an office worker. Things you refuse are sort of the opposite of what youād advertise with your wardrobe.
Dark Lord: You are wearing a suit.
Jimmy Carr: huh-huh-huh-huh-HAA! You got me there.
āāā
Paul F Tompkins: āStandingā? No, you are not; I can see the chair. Unless you are very short. Are you very short and standing on your chair?
Standing: Iām not short. Iām very tall.
Big Fan Fan: Heās so solid.
Paul F Tompkins: Heās solid? Okay, so youāre standing and also solid. Except you are sitting, so I can only assume that are also fluid or gaseous. Are you gaseous?
Standing: No, but the night is young, the day is long, and Iāve got a pocket full of dry beans.
Paul F Tompkins: As one does. Would you care to explain why you are *(air quotes)* āstandingā, which you are not?
Standing: I graduated from the Biffmore Academy where I studied Reposed Standing. I dare say I know more stances than anyone in this room.
Paul F Tompkins: And yet you remain in a sit-ance.
Standing: *stands on table* Dauntless Punctuality Stance!
Paul F Tompkins: Oookay. Over here, what are āDouble Pantsā?
Fantasy X Prohibition
Okay, so thereās dragons. Dragons have hoards and for hundreds of years, mortal adventurers have been trying to steal said hoards. As mortal technology and magic has advanced, theyāve been succeeding more and more.
It gets bad enough that the dragons get together to come up with a counter-strategy. They disguise themselves as mortals and go figure out that most adventuring parties are put together in taverns.
āIf we shut down the taverns,ā the dragons think, āthe mortals wonāt come after our hoards.ā
So, posing as mortals, the dragons try to get power in mortal society the only way they can think of: getting rich. The dragons essentially invent industrialization in a bid to become influential.
This kind of backfires because mortals invent guns. But also, the dragons now have bigger hoards than ever before. So, they eventually succeed in making alcohol illegal, shuttering the taverns and stemming the tide of adventurers.
Sort of.
Now, all the people who would have been adventurers are becoming bootleggers.
On of these days, Brennan Lee Mulligan is going to look Sam Reich dead in the eyes, reach to his neck, dig his fingers into the flesh-colored latex and pull a full, head-covering mask off to reveal heās Gary Oldman.
āNo, Sam,ā Gary Oldman says. āIāve been here the whole time.ā
A week later, Izzy Roland and Gisele Schmidtātheir lives in shamblesāweep into each otherās shoulders as BLeeM explains to the Wizard Sunny that their dad is actually Gary Oldman.
Six months later, critics declare the series finale of āSlow Horsesā to be the worst in history as Jackson Lamb is inexplicably being played by a 40-year-old redhead. Though, they praise the American actor for sounding exactly like Gary Oldman in previous episodes.
As enraged and bewildered fans plead for answers, BLeeM and Gary Oldman release a joint statement saying simply āCapitalism did it.ā With nothing else to do, every single fan of Dropout, D&D, and Slow Horses turn to the Luc Besson fandom (who are all French) for guidance.
Over the next year, un djihad socialiste spreads across the English-speaking world. Revolutionaries storm the offices of oligarchs shouting āmulti-passā at the overwhelmed security guards. Spray painted stencils of roseate spoonbills appear on the walls of mansions as warning to the residents to leave before mobs of ālevel-8 artificersā come to turn these latter-day palaces into affordable housing. Elon Musk barters for his life by giving away the secret to cold fusion.
Every AI is destroyed, every child is fed, nuclear weapons are repurposed as clean energy, and as the sun rises on a reborn world of equity, Gary Oldman says āInā¦credibleā before walking into Death Valley to become a sandworm.
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Don't forget to watch the full episode on Dropout
Is it weird to anyone else that, when thereās a battle between the forces of life and the forces of death, the forces of death are always the bad guys?
Think about it. Death is natureās limiter. Without it, life just grows and grows. Imagine a ten-story tall elk tangled immobile by flora that constantly chokes it, but it canāt die. Death is why thatās not happening.
We need both life and death. And if one of them is going to start overreaching, it seems way more likely to be the forces of life. Death is out here telling Life ānoā all the time, but Life gives Death purpose. If everything is dead, the forces of Death just sit around playing chess or something.
Life, though! Life is nuts. It keeps coming up with new creatures and plants. Itās got everything mutating and trying to get bigger and bigger. And whenever Life runs dry on ideas, it turns something into a crab. The forces of Life have to be thinking āman, we could really do some shit if those Death guys were out of the way.ā Then, That Guy starts talking about turning kangaroos into crabs again and everyone drops it so heāll shut up.
If the forces of Life and Death ever got out of balance, it would definitely be Lifeās fault. I get why the Forces of Life look like the good guys, but theyāre definitely the ones looking for ways to break the rules.

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Today, I mourn the loss of Worlds Beyond Number and begin the process of welcoming Worlds Beyond Number.
When this podcast started, Suviās story hooked me right away. By the end of Arc 1, I was super excited for this story about complex morality and the heroes getting deeper and deeper into a world where everything was a compromise. There were no right answers because every option had some gut-wrenching downside.
With āThe Battle of Twelve Brooks Pt 2ā, that no longer seems to be the case. It looks like the morality is pretty clean. The world is dark and the main characters have to be the light in it, which is uncomfortably close to a chosen one story.
Iām realizing that Iām not going to get what I wanted. Which is not to say that what I got was bad, but I was really excited for a story of moral quagmire. I wanted an intellectually challenging story and now it seems the people that were along for the emotional ride were right.
Damn.
"But if we resort to violence we're just as bad as them!"
One man did with 3 bullets what decades of peaceful protesting failed to do. It sent a message. For the first time in decades, the ruling class was afraid.
And now, barely 3 months later, things are back as they were. Not because Luigi's act of violence wasn't effective, but because it was forgotten as a one-off thing and treated as a trend. People Idolized him for his actions but not for the reason they were done.
One man's act of violence was enough to shake the foundations on which this country is built, the rot that had eaten away the hearts and minds of the people had been pushed back, and for the first time, there was clarity in the minds of everyone. There was no Left or Right, there was simply the Working VS the Ruling.
One man was enough to cause the closest this country has ever come to class consciousness, to solving real problems. Imagine ten, a hundred, a thousand more just like him.
At a certain point, violence is the answer.
Truly crazy to watch people pop off on Silver and Sworn for having Suviās back and letting Ame know that despite her intentions, her actions were out of place and unhelpful.
Silver and Sworn, the ones that were *actually* by her side when she was on her way to the horses to make sure no one starved, because Eursulon outright refused to help (and spoke of not wanting to be there at all) and Ame was bopping from fraught conversation to fraught conversation.
Silver, the one who understood that what Suvi actually needed when they were finally alone was to put down the devastating burden of trying to keep three dozen people alive behind enemy lines for a night and rest.
Sworn, the one that volunteered to handle the horse problem since he saw how much it gutted her to resort to it.
Feel however you want to feel about their phrasing or tone, but neither was wrong for taking Ame to the side and speaking with her on points Suviās also made to her in the past. It is neither empathetic nor community-serving to repeatedly refuse to adapt to a different cultureās way of doing things.
Truth is, Sworn and Silver are the ones being a good friend to Suvi right now, and if you canāt see that itās because your Citadel-blinders make you instantly dismissive of anything Suvi wants or needs that diverges from Ame and Eursulonās preferences. And that sucks to see. Again.
My way out theoryā¦
The Great Bullfrog won. All those soldiers that came in and said Silence neutralized him? Shapeshifters. Silence and his company were captured and the shifters are luring the rest of the imperial troops into an ambush.
Twelve Brooks is a trap.
That family who said the Empire was kidnapping kids? Liars. They were trying to turn Eursulon on Suvi.
That call with Steel? Not Steel. One of the witches intercepted Rasp but the spider was gone.
Interlude 2: The Clearing
Okay, so what do we have here? Spooky ass trees? No, thank you. Singing moss? Ooohā¦if we have to. Poison colored mushrooms? Hahaha, uh uh. Moss thatās eating a person? No, no, no, no, no! Panther with a bunch of horns? Okay, thatās sick! Toothless, eyeless children full of mushrooms wailing that the spirits of their loved ones are broken? Fuck this!
Wizards blast the whole place with sand and fire? Thank God! That was a glade built of nope. That was freaky shit from start to finish and you cannot convince me that you wouldnāt, in real life, be down with blasting a forest full of screaming ghosts and man-eating moss to glass.
And bear in mind that this is not a Judeo-Christian fantasy. Humans are not spiritual amphibians here. The spirit world and the physical world are not layers, but separate spheres that rub against each other. A grove full of spirits is not a blessed, holy placeāāsacredā, the man says, but sacred to whom?āitās a colony, an invasion. Spirits set up shop in this human-world forest and made inhospitable to humans.
I donāt care what the choir says. Iām with the Citadel on this one.

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Evil Guided Meditation
Everyone stop breathing
Think about what you did wrong.
Dig deeper. It was wronger than you think.
Dig deeper. It was wronger than you think.
There's a problem, and you need to figure it out, and you don't get to sleep until you do.
Figure out the problem.
Panic.
Do it harder. Do it a little bit better.
Everyone's mad at you.
EVERYONE'S mad at you.
Clap your hands so hard that your hands blow up.
And everyone cum.
- Brennan Lee Mulligan
Evil guided meditation is just humiliation kink edging.
āI came here to change the hearts of witches and believe that I may have left no heart more changed than yours.
āI believe that. I believe that I showed you things that you and the world needs to know are true. But I also know that truth, real truth, is quickly and shatteringly ignored by the stout-hearted when the objects of their affection demand it be ignored.ā
ā¦huh. Well, now, thatās shockingly similar to what a male coworker in his fifties told me when I was sixteen after he came out as gay to everyone we worked with. I half expected Tefmet to put their hand on Eursulonās thigh and say āitās okay if youāre scared. You canāt be courageous if youāre not scared, but courage is doing things youāre afraid of. Your courage has always impressed me.ā