|| thirty-something and too old for this shite. call me mud. he/they. just another non-melanated/"white" queer-ical dog thing || ao3 in my pinned post || radfem free zone & if your feminism isn't intersectional and focused on liberating EVERYONE from patriarchy then you're not a real feminist || from the river to the sea π΅πΈ keep your antisemitism as far away from me as possible [still just trying to figure out what I can do with half a bedsheet]
I have archive locked my fics as of 04/30/2025 as a result of AI scraping. If you want access to one and don't have an ao3 account, feel free to message/IM me and I'll be happy to provide. If this is frustrating or inconvenient, I'm sorry π please know it frustrates me greatly as well.
Additionally, if you're interested in one of my longer fics that is marked Explicit but are not interested in the smut/skipping past the smut portions, let me know! I can provide a non-smut copy of most of them, save for ones that are purely smut-focused.
Everything I post can be considered rebloggable, you don't have to ask. If I don't want it reblogged, that function will be turned off.
also known a farcical excuse for a person, half-creature, half-whatever else. thirties, he/they or they/he, it doesn't matter. queer-ical boydyke thing. vaguely man-shaped, more dog than man; but that's whatever. I'm queer in all ways, but more specific labels include nonbinary, demi/greysexual, demi/greyromantic, bisexual, et cetera. my belovedβ¨οΈis one of the most wonderful people to ever walk this earth and I consider myself the luckiest guy alive to have her in my life. π
this blog is MOSTLY sft/sfw, but I still prefer if you're a minor that you do not interact as a personal preference of mine. you're still welcome to interact with my og sfw content, make sfw fic/gif requests, et cetera, I just will not follow back and am not interested in friendship.
if you have any interest in either tipping me or commissioning something, I would prefer that you do so in the form of a donation to a person or community in need. preferably only someone non-white as despite the fact that there are plenty of white people who are in need, historically it's a lot easier for white folks to garner support and donations. just send me a screencap of your donation receipt with any personal identifying details blocked out, but that includes date and recipient information, as proof if you wish to utilise that for a "commission" from me. I reserve the right to refuse if I disagree morally with the request itself, am uncomfortable with the topic (such as requests that include race play, violence against a marginalised group, et cetera) or find issue with the recipient of the donation (such as donations to white supremacists, hate groups, fascists, or similar). if I will not write the request, you can replace that request with something else.
more about me and this blog under the cut βοΈ
I can be really bad at responding to messages/comments/IMs, but know that I love every person who talks to me in whatever format and I'm definitely not intentionally ignoring you unless I found something you said to be rude or offensive in some way. I do delete comments and block pretty liberally - while I have no issue interacting with people with different beliefs and opinions than me, I will not engage with you if I believe it would be bad for my mental health and I will stop engaging with you if you do something to indicate you cannot respect my needs, boundaries, and personal autonomy. I grew up homeschooled and in a cult so I'm kind of a mixed bag of trauma and miscellaneous issues but I'm in therapy and working on dealing with my ptsd.
I don't really believe in DNIs since your business is yours and mine is mine, just know that if you're hateful, cruel, racist, misogynistic, transphobic (transmisogynistic or transandrophobic!), fatphobic, intersexist, ableist, think that whatever marginalised identity you have exempts you from being prejudiced, an asshole, or a bully to other marginalised folks, believe in gender essentialism in any way that doesn't just serve as a facet of a kink, are antisemitic, don't believe in a free Palestine, are any flavour of genocide denier, believe in punishment instead of rehabilitation, believe in censorship or identify as an "anti/antishipper," believe it's ever okay to police queer spaces, or just generally show yourself to have a flawed and shitty perspective of the world around you, and you interact with me or I see you in the wild, I will block you and never think about you again!
If you're a reasonable person with reasonable opinions, then you need not worry about that ever happening. If I've gotten to know you and you express something that causes me concern, I will push back on it and make an effort to open a dialogue on the subject before ever making the choice to cut contact with you over it - and I hope you'll extend me the same grace should I ever express something that deserves to be pushed back on or confronted in some way. as a result of my upbringing (and growing up in a country founded on the principles of white supremacy), my adulthood has included a lot of working through the things I was taught and learning to be better, which is a constant battle that will not be over until I am dead and in the ground.
I only tag spoilers for things I'm actively watching and reblog a lot of things I don't watch that I think are pretty or neat, so I'm not always in the know. elsewise, it's all based on my own made-up categories. hmu if there's anything you'd like to see tagged for filtering. I'm pretty agreeable, I just can't know to tag something if I'm not asked.
not a fully inclusive list but a few things I believe in quite passionately in no particular order:
free and liberated palestine
free and liberated taiwan
open borders/unrestricted immigration
end to all ethnic cleansings
independence for hawai'i
universal healthcare
free education for all
trans rights are human rights
reparations
affordable railway systems across the USA
an end to the for-profit prison industry and an abolishment of the prison industry entirely
full rights and healthcare access without restriction for women, trans, and nonbinary people
legalisation and protections for sex work
legalisation and support systems for drugs and drug users, full and comprehensive care for addiction that focuses on helping instead of punishing those affected
I gif sometimes and I sometimes I write. you can find the latter half of that here: new ao3 and here: old ao3
I take requests. gifs require links and timestamps, fics require a willingness to hash out your desired plot over IM so I can sink my teeth into it.
my "original" content:
if you like eroticism, kink, enjoy filthy writing, and/or just generally want to know what my ass looks like, you can find my nsft blog over at et cetera; and I store the bulk of my D20/Dropout brainrot here at the old lady from the store. if you're over 21 and think you'd like to be friends, feel free to ask for my discord!
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how manual wheelchair users move (explainer for non-users)
frequently when iβm out and about with someone walking, they canβt anticipate what path i will take and therefore theyβre in my way pretty frequently. this is fine! i can politely ask them to step to the side. but it makes me think about how little non-wheelchair users understand the way wheelchair users move. as someone who used to walk everywhere, it was an adjustment period for me to figure out how to navigate the world in a chair. here are some things that didnβt occur to me so that you donβt cut off your friend right as theyβre building momentum to go up a ramp π
for context, i use an active manual chair. the world is very different in a power chair. even among active manual chair users, there is a huge diversity in physicality and strategies for getting around. this is a general guide that i think will apply to most manual wheelchair users. iβm starting super basic and getting more complicated as i go.
βββ
1. manual wheelchairs are a momentum game. it is very easy to maintain speed and direction. but speeding up, slowing down, or turning, is hard. one thing this affects is if weβre on a wavy sidewalk or other twisty-turny walkway, that is a pain in the ass and i am taking as straight a path as i can.
2. wheelchair users also have to pay attention to the slope and condition of the pavement, so our path somewhere will be different than yours, even if weβre taking the same route to the same place. for example, i usually have to go down slopes straight, not diagonally, to avoid tipping over sideways. one area this affects is crosswalks. many intersections have one curb cut for both roads you could cross, which means i will go down curb cuts to a crosswalk as if i am aiming for the middle of the intersection.
your path in orange, mine in blue. to you it seems indirect, but to me itβs the path of least resistance.
i also will be building speed in the second half of the crosswalk. this is a much easier way to tackle a ramp. if i approach with momentum, i wonβt have to drag myself up the slope once i get to it.
3. building momentum and maintaining it is only half of the job. the other half is stopping. manual wheelchairs cannot stop on a dime if theyβre moving with any kind of speed. if i tried to stop immediately when going downhill, i would fly out of the chair. so donβt walk right into the path of a wheelchair in motion and then stop! i will have to turn to the side very quickly and hope i donβt tip. i canβt tell you how often parents pushing strollers will stop their stroller directly in my path and then get offended when i am alarmed and turn sharply to avoid hitting their child. from their perspective, i was being careless and going βtoo fast.β in reality, normal walking speed takes a few feet to slow down from and stop.
4. in terms of slope. see this street in san francisco?
i canβt go down this street, itβs way too steep. i would give myself friction burns on my palms trying to control my speed. if i was in a situation where there was no avoiding this street, like in an emergency, i would be breaking my straight-slope rule and zig-zagging in the middle of the road.
this would require several zig-zags back and forth, more than the four that i drew. i also could not go up this road other than with this method. up or down, i risk tipping over sideways if iβm not careful.
4. in a similar vein, consider terrain. slopes with grass or carpet take huge amounts of energy to get up. this grassy hill isnβt insurmountable, but it would take me like thirty minutes to get up there. honestly i would probably go backwards, because itβs easier to pull yourself up a slope than push yourself.
other types of terrain can be completely immobilizing, though. this decorative gravel pathway is beautiful, and inaccessible to me. my casters (front wheels) simply will not go through that.
5. in terms of walkways and obstacles. if thereβs a deep gap in the pavement lined up the way iβm going, and itβs, say, an inch wide, that is an obstacle for me. my casters are one inch wide, and my back wheels are an inch and a half. iβll get stuck in it like a train on a track.
i have to straddle this, even if it means being too close to the middle of the sidewalk and preventing us from walking side by side.
similarly, if a crack is greater than an inch high, iβm gonna wheelie over it. at two inches, i have to. a wheelie may require a change in speed, either faster or slower depending on the person.
i have 4 inch casters, so a lip as little as 2 inches will stop me in my tracks. a lip as little as one inch, hit with any speed, can knock my casters out of square. casters can get knocked out of alignment pretty easily depending on the chair. iβd rather not have to pull out an allen wrench and a level, so iβm gonna wheelie.
this happened when i hit about a 1.5β lip on a pavement crack when i was going downhill at maybe 3mph.
6. putting it all together. see how diagonal this crack is?
this is another situation where i have to go straight relative to the slope. because that crack is wide, it will probably also require a wheelie. if i tried to approach that straight relative to the sidewalk, my left caster would get up the slope, iβd wheelie, then my right caster would land in the crack. i have to go this way.
(also lol at the trash can blocking the curb cut)
these are just a few things to keep in mind when walking about with a wheelchair user! ofc the best strategy always is just to listen when someone asks you to move out of their way π but i think being able to anticipate movement a little better will help it seem less random. feel free to ask any questions!
if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite
Michigan is experiencing its largest outbreak of a parasitic infection that causes severe diarrhea. Nearly 1,000 people have been diagnosed
this is not life-threatening, but also who wants weeks of diarrhea and a fucking parasite in them lol. if you suspect you've already had this and it's passed, i would see a doctor. you might need an antiparasitic anyway. if you're actively sick, see a doctor and they might be able to prescribe medication to help you get over it faster.
try to avoid eating raw vegetables, scrub fruit with a produce brush and rinse thoroughly with water. again, don't bother with premade greens or bagged salads. if you buy lettuce, remove the outer 2-3 layers of leaves.
there are UNVERIFIED rumors that the greens have been linked to a company that sources to taco bell. some locations have been actively pulling fresh ingredients like lettuce, avocado, and pico de gallo to mitigate the threat, so i would avoid any products from them just in case. considering how vast supply chains are, i'd be wary of any fast food greens in general for now.
also note this is a PARASITIC infection. most diarrhea-causing pathogens you expect to contaminate your greens are bacteria (e.g. e. coli and salmonella), which are a different domain of organism altogether. cyclospora is a protozoan, which is bigger and more complicated than a bacteria (for reference, malaria is also caused by a protozoan). bacterial diarrhea can be dangerous, but you might also expect to weather it and survive unscathed. do NOT fuck with PARASITIC contamination. you should be scared of this one!
Only high temperatures will kill cyclospora. It resides in what is like a shell, which is highly resistant to water and most cleaning chemicals. The substance it uses to cling to food is so strong we don't even fully know what its limits are. It may be best to avoid fruits and veggies you can't cook. Scrubbing only works if done hard enough and on foods with no hiding places (Like cucumbers and grapes). Peeling the skin off is your best bet at avoiding it however, scrubbing is not guaranteed.
Thank you OP for posting! Usually washing does work on most sicknesses, just not this one.
The fact that at the lowest point of knowledge for me as far as things like racial dynamics in this country, my friend and I at seventeen and in the midst of our senior year, were talking about this?
We both recognized the privilege that came with having American/Western names.
Me? Because I'm the descendant of chattel slaves, have a mother aboard the respectability train, and an am junior despite being a girl. So American first name. Last name is likely that of whoever owned my father's ancestors.
My friend? She's a child of immigrants and I didn't know that. Not until she showed her original name. At some point, her parents had changed it. Gave her an more American sounding one.
But yeah, I don't know how many times we need to have this conversation about AI and the biases injected into it routinely.
It started with something "innocuous" and more excusable to many. "Oh, you just can't wash your hands because the soap dispenser doesn't recognize dark skin? That's nothing."
Now people are being arrested for crimes committed in different states. States they've never even been to. Great job.
And we knew this was a problem ten years ago when Safiya Noble published Algorithms of Oppression. We knew algorithms were perpetuating biases and identifying the wrong people. We knew this.
And we pushed ahead with large language model algorithms without bothering to fix the known problems with them.
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Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think itβs worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of oneβs lungs
People in my notes who think Iβm repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
One of the most annoying genres of people on the internet are people who act like they believe science is one single monolithic thing. Like, you'll see an article saying something like "scientists studying the movement of tectonic plates", and then in the comments there'll be several smug people saying "smh why are scientists doing this instead of finding a cure for cancer", like. Why would a geologist be doing that.
i think a lot of white queer/trans people need to hear that "breaking gender norms" isnt just wearing a dress while masc or dying your hair. its also unlearning the beauty standards that impose ideals of white beauty and attractiveness on non-white folks. yes you have a nose ring but i just heard you tell your black friend with meticulously cared for natural hair "you'd just look so nice with straight hair is all im saying..." why does your blog fetishizing i mean uh. appreciating trans women only feature skinny white women who pass. when societal gender norms are so inextricably tied to whiteness and emulating whiteness it is not enough to simply change your aesthetic. you need to defy the gender norms in your own head too.
fun fact! the original draft of this was about native features, but i changed my examples bc historically my native-centered posts get basically no notes compared to my other social-justice/activism posts :) which definitely doesn't frustrate me at all as a queer native american. anyways reminder that gender roles are informed by culture and what you (white person reading this) consider "gender non-conforming" might in fact be a gender-conforming feature in their culture!
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Israel drops more bombs within the last few years than were dropped during the entirety of ww2 and its significantly impacted the entire planet, warming more of the atmosphere and hastening this process for what little there was achieved during the 2020 quarantine when emissions sank. One of the worlds largest polluters is the united states military, with emissions and waste rivaling the entire output of industrializing countries.
I hate explaining dog whistles to white people because they look at you like you're a goddamn conspiracy theorist. Like Lord forbid bigotry is more subtle than someone shouting "I HATE (INSERT SLUR)" to an oppressed person's face and violently beating the shit out of them.
"There's no hope for the future." And that's how they felt during the Atomic Age, during the World Wars, during the Enlightenment Revolutions, during thr plagues, during the Viking raids, during the fall of Rome.
Been feeling a bit hopeless of late. Wasn't expecting to stumble across a quote that would fundamentally alter my perspective and make me cry during my lunch break but here we are
wish online communities discussing autism in women weren't like, doing their best to contribute to the false perception there's a distinct Autism For Boys and Autism For Girls, when the whole time it's just social enforcement of gender roles influencing behavior
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