|| thirty-something and too old for this shite. call me mud. he/they. just another non-melanated/"white" queer-ical dog thing || ao3 in my pinned post || radfem free zone & if your feminism isn't intersectional and focused on liberating EVERYONE from patriarchy then you're not a real feminist || from the river to the sea π΅πΈ keep your antisemitism as far away from me as possible [still just trying to figure out what I can do with half a bedsheet]
I have archive locked my fics as of 04/30/2025 as a result of AI scraping. If you want access to one and don't have an ao3 account, feel free to message/IM me and I'll be happy to provide. If this is frustrating or inconvenient, I'm sorry π please know it frustrates me greatly as well.
Additionally, if you're interested in one of my longer fics that is marked Explicit but are not interested in the smut/skipping past the smut portions, let me know! I can provide a non-smut copy of most of them, save for ones that are purely smut-focused.
Everything I post can be considered rebloggable, you don't have to ask. If I don't want it reblogged, that function will be turned off.
also known a farcical excuse for a person, half-creature, half-whatever else. thirties, he/they or they/he, it doesn't matter. queer-ical boydyke thing. vaguely man-shaped, more dog than man; but that's whatever. I'm queer in all ways, but more specific labels include nonbinary, demi/greysexual, demi/greyromantic, bisexual, et cetera. my belovedβ¨οΈis one of the most wonderful people to ever walk this earth and I consider myself the luckiest guy alive to have her in my life. π
this blog is MOSTLY sft/sfw, but I still prefer if you're a minor that you do not interact as a personal preference of mine. you're still welcome to interact with my og sfw content, make sfw fic/gif requests, et cetera, I just will not follow back and am not interested in friendship.
if you have any interest in either tipping me or commissioning something, I would prefer that you do so in the form of a donation to a person or community in need. preferably only someone non-white as despite the fact that there are plenty of white people who are in need, historically it's a lot easier for white folks to garner support and donations. just send me a screencap of your donation receipt with any personal identifying details blocked out, but that includes date and recipient information, as proof if you wish to utilise that for a "commission" from me. I reserve the right to refuse if I disagree morally with the request itself, am uncomfortable with the topic (such as requests that include race play, violence against a marginalised group, et cetera) or find issue with the recipient of the donation (such as donations to white supremacists, hate groups, fascists, or similar). if I will not write the request, you can replace that request with something else.
more about me and this blog under the cut βοΈ
I can be really bad at responding to messages/comments/IMs, but know that I love every person who talks to me in whatever format and I'm definitely not intentionally ignoring you unless I found something you said to be rude or offensive in some way. I do delete comments and block pretty liberally - while I have no issue interacting with people with different beliefs and opinions than me, I will not engage with you if I believe it would be bad for my mental health and I will stop engaging with you if you do something to indicate you cannot respect my needs, boundaries, and personal autonomy. I grew up homeschooled and in a cult so I'm kind of a mixed bag of trauma and miscellaneous issues but I'm in therapy and working on dealing with my ptsd.
I don't really believe in DNIs since your business is yours and mine is mine, just know that if you're hateful, cruel, racist, misogynistic, transphobic (transmisogynistic or transandrophobic!), fatphobic, intersexist, ableist, think that whatever marginalised identity you have exempts you from being prejudiced, an asshole, or a bully to other marginalised folks, believe in gender essentialism in any way that doesn't just serve as a facet of a kink, are antisemitic, don't believe in a free Palestine, are any flavour of genocide denier, believe in punishment instead of rehabilitation, believe in censorship or identify as an "anti/antishipper," believe it's ever okay to police queer spaces, or just generally show yourself to have a flawed and shitty perspective of the world around you, and you interact with me or I see you in the wild, I will block you and never think about you again!
If you're a reasonable person with reasonable opinions, then you need not worry about that ever happening. If I've gotten to know you and you express something that causes me concern, I will push back on it and make an effort to open a dialogue on the subject before ever making the choice to cut contact with you over it - and I hope you'll extend me the same grace should I ever express something that deserves to be pushed back on or confronted in some way. as a result of my upbringing (and growing up in a country founded on the principles of white supremacy), my adulthood has included a lot of working through the things I was taught and learning to be better, which is a constant battle that will not be over until I am dead and in the ground.
I only tag spoilers for things I'm actively watching and reblog a lot of things I don't watch that I think are pretty or neat, so I'm not always in the know. elsewise, it's all based on my own made-up categories. hmu if there's anything you'd like to see tagged for filtering. I'm pretty agreeable, I just can't know to tag something if I'm not asked.
not a fully inclusive list but a few things I believe in quite passionately in no particular order:
free and liberated palestine
free and liberated taiwan
open borders/unrestricted immigration
end to all ethnic cleansings
independence for hawai'i
universal healthcare
free education for all
trans rights are human rights
reparations
affordable railway systems across the USA
an end to the for-profit prison industry and an abolishment of the prison industry entirely
full rights and healthcare access without restriction for women, trans, and nonbinary people
legalisation and protections for sex work
legalisation and support systems for drugs and drug users, full and comprehensive care for addiction that focuses on helping instead of punishing those affected
I gif sometimes and I sometimes I write. you can find the latter half of that here: new ao3 and here: old ao3
I take requests. gifs require links and timestamps, fics require a willingness to hash out your desired plot over IM so I can sink my teeth into it.
my "original" content:
if you like eroticism, kink, enjoy filthy writing, and/or just generally want to know what my ass looks like, you can find my nsft blog over at et cetera; and I store the bulk of my D20/Dropout brainrot here at the old lady from the store. if you're over 21 and think you'd like to be friends, feel free to ask for my discord!
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Helio (@Jupiterbaal on instagram and most other non-tumblr platforms) and Joris LechΓͺne have had a lot of scathing things to say about the effective social murder of Jason Arday, which you should check out.
For anyone not in the know, a Black university of Cambridge professor was accused of plagiarism--multiple times, in previous cases the accusations were unfounded, and his most recent accusation was still being investigated. Since 2023 he has been harassed, accused of lying and plagiarizing and falsifying documentation. He has had to respond to multiple periods of smear campaigns where police were involved because he was being hounded so severely.
Given that this man taught sociology and specialized in Critical Race Theory and adjacent social concepts, it's not the least bit shocking that he had everything possible thrown at him. Damn near every academic in that field has been. Where this man is peerless is in where he taught. Prestigious elite academia. He was the youngest Black academic to ever teach at Cambridge.
He spoke a few years ago about how right-wingers will levy plagiarism and academic integrity accusations at socially-progressive academics to hide their underlying bigotry behind language of "fairness." This apparently was "suspicious" to attendees, who began to investigate him for plagiarism again. A man says "hey racists have a tendency to accuse you of things like fraud because it's a softer way to remove you than just being openly racist" and a room full of listeners said "hey what a great strategy."
His most recent investigation was covered extensively and exhaustively by British press. He was being talked about EVERYWHERE. And the potential of his academic fraud did not just reflect on him, but was explicitly declared by countless papers to reflect poorly on the field of Critical Race Theory (as if he is remotely the only large-platformed academic in the world or in the UK) and that it reflects poorly on Black people as a whole.
White academic fraud is a lone wolf outlier mistake. Black academic fraud is an inherent flaw of Black people. This is the base we are operating from.
Ultimately the abusive and repulsive dogpiling resulted in Arday's resignation before the investigation was ever completed, and about a week after his resignation, he was found dead in his home. He was 41.
This entire process is of course appalling if the accusations are false, but there is nothing redemptive about it if the accusations were true.
People who are not still navigating academic spheres maybe don't know how common plagiarism accusations are. There are sooo many cases that are falsely flagged, especially in the age of AI. And there are sooo many cases that are found to be true that not only do not become the center of a nation(and western world)-wide harassment campaign, but do not result in major punishment either. A lot of plagiarism is "solved" with corrections. A slap on the wrist. Nothing that he was accused of lying about resulted in harm, it did not cause death, it did not heavily impact legislation, it did not put anyone in danger. The accusations were primarily about embellishment.
There are scammers who get people killed, who ruin people's health, there are falsified scientific studies that change how society operates, that change how care is standardized--none of these things are the scale of harm accused of this man, and many people accused of those things remain in their posts, at their jobs, in the sphere of influence after a simple correction, but Arday is driven with pitch forks and racist tirades into an early grave.
It simply cannot be overstated how much his accusers wanted him lynched and in an indirect way they got their wish.
His treatment was utterly appalling before his death, but certainly now that he is dead. Papers are issuing retractions, posts are getting deleted, because rather than quietly remove him from public life, remove his public conversations about the relationships between people to each other and people to systems, he is dead visibly, and that makes people uncomfortable. If he disappears out of shame, that's one thing, if he's dead, well now you start to feel a little complicit. Not guilty enough to stop being a racist death mob, but guilty enough that you know it makes you look like less of a Good Guy.
Helio and Joris both make it clear that Arday is not an outlier in the way academia can mobilize to push out undesirables. It is not remotely lost on me that a professor in a highly controversial (unnecessarily but yknow white supremacy) field is the subject of this, because the field dissects the complicity of the establishment in the barriers that minorities--in this particular case people of color--are subjected to that bars them from accessing necessities. How it affects housing, healthcare, education, jobs--everything.
A man said "the system will work very hard to keep people like me out" and the system said "we'll kill you for that."
Jason Arday is going to become such a political cornerstone because if you still cannot see the way the system converged to make him dead, you will continue to be blind to the things the system is trying to prevent you from seeing. Arday was pulling back the curtain and the establishment said "you lied about how high up the curtain was raised" to shift conversation away from the very forces that drove him and countless others to death.
I donβt think healthy people every really get chronic illness.
I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore.
She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I canβt hang out later that day. When I said i wonβt feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and βjokedβ that Iβm just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her itβs a normal thing for me.
βBut you got the diagnosis now, arenβt you better?? I thought youβll get better nowβ
She was honestly surprised and it made me realize a thing. They donβt get it. They donβt get that getting diagnosed only equals benefits like welfare or parking spot for us, and sometimes better pain meds but that is just like pushing luck. That itβs a forever thing. That that one day we felt good a week ago was just a bright spot and doesnβt mean we wonβt need our aids anymore, cause chronic illness is not linear and will make a great comeback in next four hours, and the next good day is planned on when weβre 70.
Cause when abled people are sick, they get better. And our illness is just an excuse for them. And when we say we will never get better they think weβre being dramatic and pessimistic.
And I donβt think theyβll ever get it, cause to get it you need to live it.
And I want my friends to stay healthy and not go through hell.
It never ceases to amaze me how much Healthy People Donβt Get It.
My OH gets upset sometimes because I try to not talk about being sick to their parents and I rarely take up their parentsβ offers of help, but it just involves so much ongoing Not Getting It that it uses far more spoons than it could ever save.
We travelled a long way to their cousinβs wedding a few months ago and the hotel turned out to be monumentally inaccessible, and it was made *so* much worse by them not getting that after a nine-hour drive and then the lift being broken and the receptionist being *horrible* and forcing me to crawl up the stairs on my hands and knees, that no, I was physically incapable of going out for dinner and was in fact barely restraining myself from weeping in pain and fatigue. And weβve been married for more than 15 years; theyβve seen me the entire time Iβve been sick.
And Iβve had total crashes in front of them before, and it was awful, and they were incredibly worried and upset about it, and I had to use spoons I really didnβt have to explain it all, and in the end they seemed to get it.
But it doesnβt *stick*. It all resets.
So that after a couple of months itβs as though it never happened.
Itβs like living in Groundhog Day.
Healthy people are just, apparently, incapable of processing the idea that *this is our lives*, and no, we canβt turn it off for fun or to make their lives easier, and resting in advance or getting a good nightβs sleep doesnβt solve it. Itβs what we live with constantly, and it really does suck on its own, but the constant lack of getting it and blaming from healthy people really does make it so, so much worse.
As someone who has watched many trans Native brothers disappear from the community without even a word or report, I genuinely despise the white trans women who want to say that they're somehow oppressed by Native trans men and trans men of color. At least your death will be passed around in the wider community and you'll have people defending you. Meanwhile I'll never see the greatest people in my life again because the government will never acknowledge the disappearances of Indigenous folk. Because unless their fellow Native trans siblings and family say something, none of you give a shit. There is no privilege in being treated like you never existed to begin with.
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to be clear, the U.S. federal minimum wage in 1999 was $5.15/hour, so a worker who made the minimum wage could buy the items on that receipt with 41 minutes of work.
in 2026, the federal minumum wage is $7.25, so a worker who makes minimum wage would have to work 95 minutes--more than twice as long--to buy those same items.
"Covid was years ago I don't understand why theyre rehashing it!"
The midterms are happening in a few months
"How can they hold him in contempt? He didn't say anything!"
They're performing political theater to remind people of how upset they were during the pandemic about the decisions being made because the midterms are happening in November and the Covid backlash is how they won 2024.
Please please please learn to recognize political theater when it's happening. It'll spare you so much grief.
Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.
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I really feel like people should be paying attention to the fact that after a harassment campaign, Jason Arday (a black professor at Cambridge) has been found dead. The harassment campaign was spearheaded by a self-described "race realist".
This is horrible! Idgaf if Arday plagiarised or not (I have my doubts the accusations have any truth to them) we have a black man being harassed, forced to step down and now he's been found dead. I don't want to speculate on how and why he died, but this is not good. It's appalling.
May Jason Arday rest in peace. He shouldn't be forgotten like this is some passing news story. Academia has a HUGE problem with racism and other kinds of discrimination. Britain has a HUGE problem with racism.
I'm sorry I don't quite know how to verbalise how I feel about this right now. But we shouldn't let this slip under the radar or be swept under the rug.
source:
His family said it was "in shock to have lost this amazing father, partner, brother, uncle and son" after the academic was found dead in Lon
a rough timeline of events (from memory, there may be inaccuracies, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong)
Cambridge professor of sociology Jason Arday is accused of plagiarism by another academic
the accuser is a "race realist" who believes that in a true meritocracy all university professors would be white. this is somehow not acknowledged much during the entire ordeal
this leads to several days of media coverage demanding an investigation, or that Arday is expelled from his post immediately
somehow this accusation that has no effect on the lives of 99.99% of the population becomes FRONT PAGE NEWS in all the newspapers for multiple days, above anything else happening in the UK or the world at large
following intense media scrutiny, Arday resigns his post as a Cambridge professor
today, august 14th, days after resigning, Arday is found dead at his home in Battersea
the British tabloid press remains, and will always be, fucking evil
i feel like turning the torture scene in the finale into a louis fan vs armand fan thing is a very fandom-focused perspective to take that ultimately trivializes the very real racism of the writers and production behind it. like, the roles of both characters in that scene are obscenely racist. having louis, a black man, be brutalized and forced to take blame and apologize for abuse done to him is horrific. itβs also incredibly offensive to have a south asian, implied muslim, character be cartoonishly evil by spilling the blood of his victims (louis and regina) in a jewish butcher shop
donβt turn this into character vs character fandom war when there are layers to the racism, including pitting the main nonwhite characters against each other
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