|| thirty-something and too old for this shite. call me mud. he/they. just another non-melanated/"white" queer-ical dog thing || ao3 in my pinned post || radfem free zone & if your feminism isn't intersectional and focused on liberating EVERYONE from patriarchy then you're not a real feminist || from the river to the sea 🇵🇸 keep your antisemitism as far away from me as possible [still just trying to figure out what I can do with half a bedsheet]
I have archive locked my fics as of 04/30/2025 as a result of AI scraping. If you want access to one and don't have an ao3 account, feel free to message/IM me and I'll be happy to provide. If this is frustrating or inconvenient, I'm sorry 😭 please know it frustrates me greatly as well.
Additionally, if you're interested in one of my longer fics that is marked Explicit but are not interested in the smut/skipping past the smut portions, let me know! I can provide a non-smut copy of most of them, save for ones that are purely smut-focused.
Everything I post can be considered rebloggable, you don't have to ask. If I don't want it reblogged, that function will be turned off.
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it's meee, mud
also known a farcical excuse for a person, half-creature, half-whatever else. thirties, he/they or they/he, it doesn't matter. queer-ical boydyke thing. vaguely man-shaped, more dog than man; but that's whatever. I'm queer in all ways, but more specific labels include nonbinary, demi/greysexual, demi/greyromantic, bisexual, et cetera. my beloved✨️is one of the most wonderful people to ever walk this earth and I consider myself the luckiest guy alive to have her in my life. 💚
this blog is MOSTLY sft/sfw, but I still prefer if you're a minor that you do not interact as a personal preference of mine. you're still welcome to interact with my og sfw content, make sfw fic/gif requests, et cetera, I just will not follow back and am not interested in friendship.
if you have any interest in either tipping me or commissioning something, I would prefer that you do so in the form of a donation to a person or community in need. preferably only someone non-white as despite the fact that there are plenty of white people who are in need, historically it's a lot easier for white folks to garner support and donations. just send me a screencap of your donation receipt with any personal identifying details blocked out, but that includes date and recipient information, as proof if you wish to utilise that for a "commission" from me. I reserve the right to refuse if I disagree morally with the request itself, am uncomfortable with the topic (such as requests that include race play, violence against a marginalised group, et cetera) or find issue with the recipient of the donation (such as donations to white supremacists, hate groups, fascists, or similar). if I will not write the request, you can replace that request with something else.
more about me and this blog under the cut ✂️
I can be really bad at responding to messages/comments/IMs, but know that I love every person who talks to me in whatever format and I'm definitely not intentionally ignoring you unless I found something you said to be rude or offensive in some way. I do delete comments and block pretty liberally - while I have no issue interacting with people with different beliefs and opinions than me, I will not engage with you if I believe it would be bad for my mental health and I will stop engaging with you if you do something to indicate you cannot respect my needs, boundaries, and personal autonomy. I grew up homeschooled and in a cult so I'm kind of a mixed bag of trauma and miscellaneous issues but I'm in therapy and working on dealing with my ptsd.
I don't really believe in DNIs since your business is yours and mine is mine, just know that if you're hateful, cruel, racist, misogynistic, transphobic (transmisogynistic or transandrophobic!), fatphobic, intersexist, ableist, think that whatever marginalised identity you have exempts you from being prejudiced, an asshole, or a bully to other marginalised folks, believe in gender essentialism in any way that doesn't just serve as a facet of a kink, are antisemitic, don't believe in a free Palestine, are any flavour of genocide denier, believe in punishment instead of rehabilitation, believe in censorship or identify as an "anti/antishipper," believe it's ever okay to police queer spaces, or just generally show yourself to have a flawed and shitty perspective of the world around you, and you interact with me or I see you in the wild, I will block you and never think about you again!
If you're a reasonable person with reasonable opinions, then you need not worry about that ever happening. If I've gotten to know you and you express something that causes me concern, I will push back on it and make an effort to open a dialogue on the subject before ever making the choice to cut contact with you over it - and I hope you'll extend me the same grace should I ever express something that deserves to be pushed back on or confronted in some way. as a result of my upbringing (and growing up in a country founded on the principles of white supremacy), my adulthood has included a lot of working through the things I was taught and learning to be better, which is a constant battle that will not be over until I am dead and in the ground.
I only tag spoilers for things I'm actively watching and reblog a lot of things I don't watch that I think are pretty or neat, so I'm not always in the know. elsewise, it's all based on my own made-up categories. hmu if there's anything you'd like to see tagged for filtering. I'm pretty agreeable, I just can't know to tag something if I'm not asked.
not a fully inclusive list but a few things I believe in quite passionately in no particular order:
free and liberated palestine
free and liberated taiwan
open borders/unrestricted immigration
end to all ethnic cleansings
independence for hawai'i
universal healthcare
free education for all
trans rights are human rights
reparations
affordable railway systems across the USA
an end to the for-profit prison industry and an abolishment of the prison industry entirely
full rights and healthcare access without restriction for women, trans, and nonbinary people
legalisation and protections for sex work
legalisation and support systems for drugs and drug users, full and comprehensive care for addiction that focuses on helping instead of punishing those affected
I gif sometimes and I sometimes I write. you can find the latter half of that here: new ao3 and here: old ao3
I take requests. gifs require links and timestamps, fics require a willingness to hash out your desired plot over IM so I can sink my teeth into it.
my "original" content:
if you like eroticism, kink, enjoy filthy writing, and/or just generally want to know what my ass looks like, you can find my nsft blog over at et cetera; and I store the bulk of my D20/Dropout brainrot here at the old lady from the store. if you're over 21 and think you'd like to be friends, feel free to ask for my discord!
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A trans person will simply exist in the same building as a child, and conservatives will make a scene about how "inappropriate" and "indecent" it is. But a children's author will upskirt a trans woman and post said photo to her 14 million followers on social media, a significant number of whom are most likely children, and suddenly conservatives don't seem to care about appropriateness and decency. It's almost like they never cared about the children in the first place. Weird...
Researchers focused on whether kids that are spanked are more likely to share or, conversely, more likely to have anxiety, years down the li
2021:
Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences.
2018:
The American Academy of Pediatrics says new evidence and research not only show that spanking affects a child’s brain development and increa
2016:
Kids who are spanked tend to act out more and have more problems later on.
2012:
A study reviewed more than two decades of research on the effects of spanking and found nothing positive to report, only that physical punis
2010:
A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on
I haven’t pissed people off lately by reminding them that ALL types of physical punishment of kids has been proven beyond ANY reasonable doubt to have only negative long term outcomes.
So let me scream it from the hilltops:
Stop hitting kids. End of sentence.
If you think, “but I was hit and I turned out just fine” let me pre-reply: NO YOU DID NOT. You think hitting a child is ok, how the fuck does that qualify as “fine”?????? From one abuse survivor to another: please start healing yourself.
The World Health Organization report I highly recommend because there are so many conclusions that are shocking and yet completely obvious.
For example, being exposed to corporal punishment as a kid makes it more likely for a person to commit domestic violence against a partner. In places where corporal punishment is normal, people are more likely to think that rape and intimate partner violence are normal. Kids who are spanked are more likely to be violent with and to bully other kids.
Spanking is literally teaching a kid that violence is okay and normal and it affects the whole society.
It also talks about how corporal punishment affects the brain in its development. It changes the structure of the brain and slows the development of mental abilities. Kids who get spanked have much stronger hormonal responses to stress.
I know the trauma of being a young man. No, not even young man, a little boy. But, like, there's a moment that every boy has in America, under patriarchy, where they have to start severing themselves from humanity. And it's not explicitly religious, but like, there's a three-year-old boy that's going to learn today that he's no longer allowed to cry. Does that make sense? Some three-year-old boy today is going to cry freely for the last time in his life.
— F.D Signifer, from this recent video on his second channel
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"the education system traumatizes students it deems stupid" and "the education system traumatizes students it deems gifted" are two concepts that can and should coexist.
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”
Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.
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I think you guys constantly undermine the exploitation and colonial abuse that Hawaiʻi and Polynesia endures. i promise you indigenous polynesians aren't focused on being excited about representation in the live action moana they're much more concerned by the disney tourism propaganda they've been constantly pushing in their slop movies
“The police spend very little of their time dealing with violent criminals—indeed, police sociologists report that only about 10% of the average police officer’s time is devoted to criminal matters of any kind. Most of the remaining 90% is spent dealing with infractions of various administrative codes and regulations: all those rules about how and where one can eat, drink, smoke, sell, sit, walk, and drive. If two people punch each other, or even draw a knife on each other, police are unlikely to get involved. Drive down the street in a car without license plates, on the other hand, and the authorities will show up instantly, threatening all sorts of dire consequences if you don’t do exactly what they tell you. The police, then, are essentially just bureaucrats with weapons. Their main role in society is to bring the threat of physical force—even, death—into situations where it would never have been otherwise invoked, such as the enforcement of civic ordinances about the sale of untaxed cigarettes.”
— An excerpt from Ferguson & the Criminalization of American Life by David Graeber (via actjustly)
since i think many will have had the memory slip with just how many other atrocities have occured in the past 11 years, or are simply too young to remember, the last bit about the sale of untaxed cigarettes isn’t just some hypothetical, it’s a reference to the killing of eric garner
this is the origin of the slogan “i cant breathe”, which was revived in the wake of the killing of george floyd.
there's no satisfaction in being right about the boat sinking when you are also on the boat, never mind below decks, with no hope of a rescue. I don't like smugly saying I Told You So because despite being ardent and vocal and pushing for strategies to mitigate climate change, my people are still dying. Black and Indigenous people in the United States and Canada are nearly always right when it comes to how we navigate disasters collectively, and they're never listened to except for after the fact (usually when its too late!! Huh! Wonder why that is!)
Folks want a quote from a Black or Indigenous person for their blog, but they don't wanna change their environments or GOD FORBID their consumer habits, even as the oceans rise to your door and the wildfires and logging bring down every old-growth forest.
(the history you cut out and paste into your cutesy little Revolutionary Scrapbook is still happening and still being made, btw. Your actions are part of it.)
anyway. I'm sitting here under a pungent yellow sky and aching for my people and the forests of Ontario. The Namaygoosisagagun First Nation (Collins First Nation, for the colonizers) fled on boats while the trees next to their houses burned. Thunder Bay is full of displaced Indigenous peoples trying to breathe with air full of ash. Gayaashki-zaagiing Anishinaabeg (Gull Bay First Nation, again, for You Folks) peoples were ordered to evacuate in the middle of the night and were just told there are no accommodations for them, now that they've escaped. Thousands of people scrambling for protection and safety, while a bunch of white colonizers complain about the smell of smoke.
None of this is new. It's all a very old song.
But, as my mother would say, the drums will get louder and louder until you listen.
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The Department of Education worked with the far-right Family Research Council to officially designate March 12th as Detrans Awareness Day last year. But what actually leads people to detransition? It's not regret, but social stigma, incited by the very figures who claim to protect detransitioners. I want to hear their stories describing how the current moral panic influenced their decisions.
it is incredibly difficult to find accurate and universal statistics for detransition rates, since there are SO many factors to detransition, so many ways to detransition, and so many people who detransition temporarily. here's a good study I found that aggregates existing data from various studies, and concludes as much. however, regardless of the stage of transition, studies incorporated in this paper don't really break 10% of people who transition later detransitioning.
reasons the above screenshotted chart does not mention, not counting financial reasons as it seems to be there but cut off:
health complications with medical transition, which can happen (but is approximately as safe as undergoing HRT while taking the same hormone(s) your body is already dominated by - source)
transition goals met by temporary HRT usage, for example, which is brought up occasionally in the study I linked in the first paragraph). this may be encompassed by "initial transition did not reflect the complexity of their gender identity (write-in response)"
etc
generally speaking, detransition due to regret and/or going back to the gender you were expected to be from birth is a percent of a percent, and neither of those percentages reach double digits.
of course, those people exist, and they should be heard. everyone's experiences are different, and while some permanent detransitioners who realized transitioning wasn't for them are vitriolic towards the doctors and community who allowed them to transition, many of them aren't, and don't hold animosity towards anyone in or in support of the trans community.
remember that, while these people's experiences are very real and important to consider, a couple hundred people screaming about how they were allowed to transition as a teenager, should never be the reason to bar millions of people from accessing important, life-saving, life-returning healthcare. transitioning isn't magic, and nobody will say it legitimately is, but it changes so many people's lives for the better.
i hope everyone who detransitions but wants to transition can transition again soon. i hope everyone who detransitions and has no desire to transition again lives the best possible life they can. and i hope everyone who stands in the way of healthcare one day soon sees the good in allowing people to be themselves
i hate when rich people condescend with the whole 'money can't buy happiness' argument like listen. just because buying your fourth car didn't fill the void in your deluded disconnected-from-reality life doesn't mean not having to worry about food/ bills/medicine wouldn't greatly improve the mental health of literally everyone else on the planet
Fun fact: they've done studies and money DOES buy happiness, but it tops out after a certain amount (nowadays around $500,000)
So yeah, having food / bills / medicine & a fair amount of leisure covered by income DOES buy happiness, but excess wealth depletes the effect exponentially.
