|| thirty-something and too old for this shite. call me mud. he/they. just another non-melanated/"white" queer-ical dog thing || ao3 in my pinned post || radfem free zone & if your feminism isn't intersectional and focused on liberating EVERYONE from patriarchy then you're not a real feminist || from the river to the sea 🇵🇸 keep your antisemitism as far away from me as possible [still just trying to figure out what I can do with half a bedsheet]
I have archive locked my fics as of 04/30/2025 as a result of AI scraping. If you want access to one and don't have an ao3 account, feel free to message/IM me and I'll be happy to provide. If this is frustrating or inconvenient, I'm sorry 😭 please know it frustrates me greatly as well.
Additionally, if you're interested in one of my longer fics that is marked Explicit but are not interested in the smut/skipping past the smut portions, let me know! I can provide a non-smut copy of most of them, save for ones that are purely smut-focused.
Everything I post can be considered rebloggable, you don't have to ask. If I don't want it reblogged, that function will be turned off.
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it's meee, mud
also known a farcical excuse for a person, half-creature, half-whatever else. thirties, he/they or they/he, it doesn't matter. queer-ical boydyke thing. vaguely man-shaped, more dog than man; but that's whatever. I'm queer in all ways, but more specific labels include nonbinary, demi/greysexual, demi/greyromantic, bisexual, et cetera. my beloved✨️is one of the most wonderful people to ever walk this earth and I consider myself the luckiest guy alive to have her in my life. 💚
this blog is MOSTLY sft/sfw, but I still prefer if you're a minor that you do not interact as a personal preference of mine. you're still welcome to interact with my og sfw content, make sfw fic/gif requests, et cetera, I just will not follow back and am not interested in friendship.
if you have any interest in either tipping me or commissioning something, I would prefer that you do so in the form of a donation to a person or community in need. preferably only someone non-white as despite the fact that there are plenty of white people who are in need, historically it's a lot easier for white folks to garner support and donations. just send me a screencap of your donation receipt with any personal identifying details blocked out, but that includes date and recipient information, as proof if you wish to utilise that for a "commission" from me. I reserve the right to refuse if I disagree morally with the request itself, am uncomfortable with the topic (such as requests that include race play, violence against a marginalised group, et cetera) or find issue with the recipient of the donation (such as donations to white supremacists, hate groups, fascists, or similar). if I will not write the request, you can replace that request with something else.
more about me and this blog under the cut ✂️
I can be really bad at responding to messages/comments/IMs, but know that I love every person who talks to me in whatever format and I'm definitely not intentionally ignoring you unless I found something you said to be rude or offensive in some way. I do delete comments and block pretty liberally - while I have no issue interacting with people with different beliefs and opinions than me, I will not engage with you if I believe it would be bad for my mental health and I will stop engaging with you if you do something to indicate you cannot respect my needs, boundaries, and personal autonomy. I grew up homeschooled and in a cult so I'm kind of a mixed bag of trauma and miscellaneous issues but I'm in therapy and working on dealing with my ptsd.
I don't really believe in DNIs since your business is yours and mine is mine, just know that if you're hateful, cruel, racist, misogynistic, transphobic (transmisogynistic or transandrophobic!), fatphobic, intersexist, ableist, think that whatever marginalised identity you have exempts you from being prejudiced, an asshole, or a bully to other marginalised folks, believe in gender essentialism in any way that doesn't just serve as a facet of a kink, are antisemitic, don't believe in a free Palestine, are any flavour of genocide denier, believe in punishment instead of rehabilitation, believe in censorship or identify as an "anti/antishipper," believe it's ever okay to police queer spaces, or just generally show yourself to have a flawed and shitty perspective of the world around you, and you interact with me or I see you in the wild, I will block you and never think about you again!
If you're a reasonable person with reasonable opinions, then you need not worry about that ever happening. If I've gotten to know you and you express something that causes me concern, I will push back on it and make an effort to open a dialogue on the subject before ever making the choice to cut contact with you over it - and I hope you'll extend me the same grace should I ever express something that deserves to be pushed back on or confronted in some way. as a result of my upbringing (and growing up in a country founded on the principles of white supremacy), my adulthood has included a lot of working through the things I was taught and learning to be better, which is a constant battle that will not be over until I am dead and in the ground.
I only tag spoilers for things I'm actively watching and reblog a lot of things I don't watch that I think are pretty or neat, so I'm not always in the know. elsewise, it's all based on my own made-up categories. hmu if there's anything you'd like to see tagged for filtering. I'm pretty agreeable, I just can't know to tag something if I'm not asked.
not a fully inclusive list but a few things I believe in quite passionately in no particular order:
free and liberated palestine
free and liberated taiwan
open borders/unrestricted immigration
end to all ethnic cleansings
independence for hawai'i
universal healthcare
free education for all
trans rights are human rights
reparations
affordable railway systems across the USA
an end to the for-profit prison industry and an abolishment of the prison industry entirely
full rights and healthcare access without restriction for women, trans, and nonbinary people
legalisation and protections for sex work
legalisation and support systems for drugs and drug users, full and comprehensive care for addiction that focuses on helping instead of punishing those affected
I gif sometimes and I sometimes I write. you can find the latter half of that here: new ao3 and here: old ao3
I take requests. gifs require links and timestamps, fics require a willingness to hash out your desired plot over IM so I can sink my teeth into it.
my "original" content:
if you like eroticism, kink, enjoy filthy writing, and/or just generally want to know what my ass looks like, you can find my nsft blog over at et cetera; and I store the bulk of my D20/Dropout brainrot here at the old lady from the store. if you're over 21 and think you'd like to be friends, feel free to ask for my discord!
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This is the first installment of a series of lesbian + flower themed print & sticker sets. sign up to my Patreon mail tier before the end of the month to get these in the mail!
not to sound like the friend that's too woke but why does this police station toyset for a 5yr old need a weapons safe full of tiny toy-sized automatic rifles. just asking.
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So this is not a plea for money. This is something that surprised me, and chatting with people on discord, they were unaware of as well.
Discovered last year I couldn’t look at my 2015 MacBook Air without it triggering nausea and migraines, and figured the screen died. Have been getting by on my phone, but concluded I really need a laptop again.
Saved up, realised I could afford a brand new MacBook Neo, and got one.
-And I couldn’t spend more than five minutes looking at the screen without massive eye strain, nausea, vertigo, and if I pushed it, I-need-to-lie-down-in-a-dark-room-for-hours migraines.
Looking up MacBook and Eyestrain explained what is going on. The liquid retina displays that Apple currently has uses Pulse Width Modulation or PWM. In order to give the screens a deeper depth of colour and contrast, PWM flickers between several hundred to thousand times a second.
And there is currently no way to turn it off. There are settings and apps to reduce it, but there is no way to stop the screen from flickering. Checked Apple forums, called Apple Support, and the time I could look at the screen kept shrinking. Got the laptop Tuesday, returned it Friday, today is Sunday and I’m still dealing with a vertigo migraine.
For MacBooks, it seems to vary on the computer model and the software it uses. In retrospect, the issue with my MacBook Air started after a major software update.
And it’s not just an Apple thing. Current Windows and Android screens do the same thing. There’s even a Reddit for people who are sensitive to PWM flickers to help find computers and screens that won’t trigger eyestrain and headaches.
So, yeah. This week has been a learning experience. But for those who are prone to headaches and migraines, this may be something to be aware of, cause I was not.
My memory of The Birdcage (1996) is always that it's more dated and more difficult to watch than it actually is. You hear "drag-themed comedy from the 90s based on a musical from the 80s based on a play from the 70s" and you brace yourself just a little, right? But the film has a strong gay perspective, so the fruity fag jokes mostly come off as warmly affectionate. There is a surprising amount of poignancy in Robin Williams' portrayal of Armand, grudgingly agreeing to his beloved son's request that he go back into the closet for an evening ("do me a favor and don't talk to me for a while"). The drag club's staff attempting to redecorate the apartment with stuff straight people might like (a taxidermy moose head, an enormous crucifix, and Playboy magazine) is extremely funny. Albert's histrionics are a point of tension because he does often come off as a stereotypically pathetic/comic figure, but towards the end of the movie he makes it very clear that he's aware of how people see him, and asserts that trying to copy a stoic masculinity he doesn't possess for the sake of social approval would be more pathetic. In the 1983 musical adaptation, they give "Albert" (Albin) the only good song in the whole show, "I Am What I Am", which Gloria Gaynor covered to the delight of gays everywhere. Apparently Nathan Lane wasn't (publicly) out yet in 1996, which is amazing because it means that at one point in this movie you're watching a gay man playing a straight man playing a gay man playing a straight man, in a movie about how it's important to be yourself, an absurdity that does seem to encapsulate the state of gay America in the 90s.
I'm seeing a couple of posts circulating about the gay 90s and this movie. The above is a very good summary, and I think it's worth adding a few other points.
This movie got made because Robin Williams said yes to it (and it's important that Gene Hackman did as well). Williams in the 90s was a mega-star of a type that's not present in the current media environment (maybe Tom Cruise, but I personally think that's echo from his salad days). Even his flops made money on the back end in the video rental market, which also doesn't exist anymore (streaming is different). Hackman was on the other side of his A-list career but still Hollywood nobility if not full royalty.
Playing gay was considered career suicide in the 90s. There had been a number of actors who put lie to that belief stretching back decades, but this was Williams and Hackman (yes, being on screen next to a gay character was enough to get you blacklisted) saying "screw that" and doing it anyway.
Being gay and out was career suicide in the 90s.
Nathan Lane had a really nice gig going for himself. The Lion King put him into the Disney rep company with people like Williams, Bette Midler, and Whoopie Goldberg (check their IMBD list from the 90s--they were making bank at Disney).
Lane didn't come out until several years later (nice summary: https://deadline.com/2024/06/nathan-lane-robin-williams-advice-coming-out-birdcage-1235975010/).
I don't want to imply that this was a Sorkinized moment where everything changed because of one thing, but this was a very important movie that caused real movement in the needle on queer acceptance.
It also proved that there was a market for films with gay characters, which had the knock-on effect of gay filmmakers being able to find distributors of their gay-themed films. Which meant that more people than ever (queer and non-queer) got to see representation on-screen.
i am once again begging yall to stop using the "this may strike some viewers as harsh but I believe everyone involved in this story should die" screencap.
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so many popular examples of fandom racism are barely actual fandom brand racism bcs white ppl (and honestly too many non black ppl) need outright in your face blatant stuff as proof to shocked and appalled by. most of it is the classic "I'm not touching you style" that's easier to gaslight around which is what a majority of racism is, gaslighting. slave fics a tortureporn of characters of color are awful but that's like individual weirdos who it's easy to mark off as obviously racist. The attention and outrage surrounding these little incidents allows everyone to feel better because of how exaggerated and one off they are, bad eggs in a good batch etc.
Real fandom racism is watching the darkest characters get boxed into the specific outsider pov trope over and over despite them being a core member of the cast. it's watching everyone have in depth headcanons for every character but them, denying them the complexity their counterparts get. It's them getting written out of their own plots, receiving little to no audience sympathy when they ARE complex, and, most importantly, watching them get cast in the same exact role when shipping comes in
but all this isn't loud, it's quiet and unnoticeable unless you've had to watch it play out with every favorite character you've had ever since you were ten and started engaging with fandom. it's repetitive, uncreative, infuriating and worst of all NOBODY WILL LISTEN WHEN YOU POINT IT OUT because you're just imagining it and they're not touching you. I've been making my own content and I've seen how people will go out of their way NOT to engage or engage specifically only to discredit a character of color.
it's not a one off thing or even a small pattern, it is what fandom culture is BUILT on, picking the palest skinniest most pathetic looking man in the cast, projecting onto him and ignoring literally everyone and everything else whether that be fanon over plot or the interesting female or darker skinned characters and masking racism behind fanon tropes
wait, i just realised that aragorn was in minas tirith during ecthelion’s last ruling years (and was kind of vip, tbh). and you know who was there too, during that time?
baby boromir.
frickin’ baby boromir.
so it seems obvious to me, that aragorn held little boromir in his arms at least once (and probably saw it when nannies changed his diapers).
Guys. Guys. Aragorn probably also met Theoden as a child, too. So… just fucking imagine that shit. Eowyn even says Aragorn went off to war with her grandfather…
Aragorn: Gondor calls for aid!
Theoden, remembering this dude used to babysit him on occasion and does not want to deal with his disappointed face rn: … and Rohan will answer.
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trans poc, please i beg of you get transition inspo of people with your ethnicity
i was incredibly dysphoric about my round face and softer features until i started looking at the faces of hispanic men and realized that those features weren’t feminine at all, they were ethnic features white supremacy had conditioned me to see as less masculine
your ethnic features are beautiful, and you do not need to look european to look masculine or feminine
It also deeply bothers me how many people pull the "okay now ask the average African American how they feel about gay and trans people" as a gotcha, to try to act as though Black people specifically hate and are oppressing queer and trans people (and as if we just, AREN'T those things too).
Buddy ask the average White American how they feel about gay and trans people, since we're taking the census and the piss. Hell, look at the people in charge currently pushing anti trans and anti queer legislation and tell me how they identify. Look at the racial demographics of our last election and tell me who you think is out here going rah rah for the gays and theys.
The audacity to suggest that my entire community is homophobic (I.e., you spend zero time around Black queer and trans folk) but somehow yours is worthy of a closer, more nuanced look... Really some OG white supremacy, actually! "Those savages, they don't understand things like gender and sexuality, they're just angry uncultured brutes!" -mentality shared between 1700s race scientists and 2026 You, apparently.
Some folks was really out here lying with those #BLM pins 😭
