Seriously, blame the editor

| Current Projects

Prompt Roulette | Bingo

The Rules  |  B1  |  M1  |  L5  |  M3  |  A1  |  A5  |  B3  |  L2  |  L3  | 

Terms Of Agreement | Terms Of AU

    The monster under your bed, the one in the closet, and your sleep paralysis demon fight for custody. g/t, FNAF bois

Original  |  Rewrite Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6 

To See And To Hear | Ghost Jeremy AU

    Fazbear Corporation has a dark past full of death and murder. On one hand, it'd be safe to assume at least one unrestful spirit would haunt their last resting place. On the other, if they knew the plans William Afton had in store, any reason to stay should immediately be replaced with moving on as soon as possible. FNAF bois

Prologue  |  Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  | 

Tempting Fate

     The disappearance of Fazbear Entertianment's original owners has left the company declining with every year. Afton Robotics is out of business, only one location is in operation, and night guards have been disappearing. But why should Mike Schmidt care? He wouldn't, if it wasn't for the fact he was dragged kicking and screaming back into the center of it all.

Chapter 1 

| Five Nights At Freddy’s

| Chaptered Stories

Character Introductions Canon Under FNAF bois

FNAF bois descriptions

Eggs Benedict  |  Jeremy Fitzgerald  |  David Harrison  |  Scott Cawthon  |  James Stiller  |  Caleb White  |  Vincent Wright  |  The Beginning Of It All

Pocket Doctor

    The ongoing saga of borrower James.

Part 1  |  Part 2

Give An Inch

    The saying of ‘give someone an inch and they go a mile’ sums up David’s life perfectly considering it has and always will be in other’s hands. Literally. g/t, FNAF bois

Part 1  |  Part 2 

Heart Of Gold

    The lesson of the day is to not shrink a thief. g/t and FNAF bois

Part 1  |  Part 2

Hand Held

    Isn’t everyone supposed to be able to shrink and grow at will? No? Just Mike? g/t, FNAF bois

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3

G U I D E

    Jeremy in the same room as his parents never worked out well when his ‘stuttering phase’ started. And after everything he’s decided, it’d be even worse of a decision. Not to mention at a social gathering. One where he’d have to go against everything he believes. All the while knowing he’ll be tortured if he goes, or declines. In short terms Jeremy can never win. g/t, FNAF bois

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3 

On The Fritz

    David agreed to take care of someone named Fritz. He did not sign up for being the guardian of the physical embodiment of the word ‘fritz’. g/t, FNAF bois

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3

Night Guards For Sale Complete

    Everyone says the world is a cruel place. That if it turns its back on you, you turn your back against it. Something that’s extremely hard to do when it’s essentially impossible to escape. Not that Mike won’t fight as hard as he possibly can. g/t, FNAF bois

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6  |  Chapter 7  |  Chapter 8 

In The Palm Of My Hand

    The population of the world has reached its carrying capacity. In the need to ensure resources won’t be completely diminished, a solution was found in the form of a virus. The only true question lies in being an individual society would chose to have, or to get infected due to having no desirable traits. g/t, FNAF bois

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4 

Mike Messed Up Complete

    Mike was just another night guard waiting to be killed by the end of the week. No more, no less. The thing is, how exactly are you supposed to react to your victim never hearing Phone Guy's messages, and instead is assigned to clean the dining room long after the clock strikes midnight?

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6  |  Chapter 7  |  Chapter 8  |  Chapter 9 

Interlude

Jeremy Messed Up

    Mike was just a night guard waiting to be killed by the end of the week. Now, he is the proud, and soon to be sole owner, of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. Business is booming, animatronics are teeming with life, and Foxy is back in the spotlight after so many years. Even so, the dark past of Freddy's is slowly encroaching upon them. One with more ties than they could ever imagine.

Prologue  |  Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6  |  Chapter 7  |  Chapter 8 

| Oneshots

A Little Bit Goes A Long Way

    To be faced with your own mortality, would it change you for the better, or worse? David never thought he'd have to answer such a question. g/t, FNAF bois

The Little Things

     The title of 'best friend' is a daunting one to live up to. Especially when it feels like you're worlds apart despite always being within grabbing range, in more ways than one. g/t, FNAF bois

When In Rome

     What's better than borrowers? Having a shrunken human to show the ropes. g/t, FNAF bois

Snowfall And Dread

    The snow is thawing, but it’s still here. How despicable would it be if a lil tiny Fritz had to walk home through thick snow after his shift? g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Making It Up As You Go

    Plan A: Find a way to stop the giant robot apocalypse. Plan B: Join forces with one of the previously mentioned giant robots. g/t, FNAF bois

First Aid

    Do you know how much the thought of giant Eggs and tiny James makes my brain go brrr????? g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Help Unwanted

     Fazbear employees are expected to wear many hats. If you're a night guard, you will be a day guard as needed, as well as a mechanic. And because this is Fazbear's, training is trail by fire. FNAF bois

In Your Corner

    Mike is the best giant to have guarding you g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Stitches ‘N Snitches

     What was James supposed to do? Not help despite being a highly trained medical professional? g/t, FNAF bois

Keep Your Distance

     if fritz, do to instincts takes a shrunk David g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Promise

    A case study of Scott and Vincent. FNAF bois

Corporate Events And Chaos

   one of the normally giants gets shrunk down by William and they have to navigate the pizzeria during a special adult only event. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

How To Care For Your Sick Scott

   a thank you story featuring a feverish Scott. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

The Finer Things

   Someone shrinking and just getting hit with hella enhanced smell. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

The Enigma Known As Scott

    A giant manhandling a tiny, like grip too tight and inspecting everything, and putting the tiny in their pant pocket. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Stress Ball

    David needs to finally follow up on his threat on using a tiny as a stress ball. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Animatronics vs. Tinies

   THE ANIMATRONICS MUST INTERACT WITH THINE TINIES. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

David Appreciation

   iam infatuated with davids character. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Ignorance At Its Finest

   Wouldn’t the smell of the giants be amplified for the smalls? Everything else is amplified. David’s cologne would be overpowering to anyone unfortunate enough to be near him. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Getting Underfoot

   you know that little gap in dress shoes… what if a tiny was under an unaware giant with dress shoes on in that gap… and they were tapping their foot. g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Unadulterated Chaos

   Can we have a child (or human) beat the ever loving crap out of a big animatronic and down an entire saltshaker’s worth of pure salt ask

A New Year

   To continue the tradition, a special New Year drabble to kick off 2024, curtesy of Scott. g/t, FNAF bois

To The New Year

   In lieu of a new year, do you think we can have the FNAF Bois and the BATIM Bois celebrate? g/t, FNAF bois, ask

Walking Backwards

  No, Scott isn’t a true giant living in a giant only district. Yes, not telling anyone he’s human is admittedly a bit dangerous. No, he’s not telling anyone. Especially Vincent. g/t, FNAF bois

The Hunter Tamer

  No matter who you talk to, there’s always ways to get what you want. Bribing with money, power, or…toaster waffles. g/t, FNAF bois

And Why Not Trust Yourself

   In which they learn a powerful lesson of why they should listen to Jeremy more often. FNAF bois

Beggars Can’t Be Choosers

  There’s not enough of Mike torturing Scott. This is to make up for the lack thereof. g/t, FNAF bois

D To The D

  You need three things when you start a D&D campaign. 1. a dungeon master. 2. a couple of friends. 3. and a few more friends you shrink to use as miniatures. g/t, FNAF bois

Fighting Lessons

   A giant doing a surprisingly well job with teaching a human to fight. g/t, FNAF bois

DnD Backstory

    How a cleric became loyal to the God of Favors. g/t, FNAF bois

Halloween

  Halloween means a newly shrunken Jeremy who’s been hiding demands candy. Jeremy’s can’t survive without candy. g/t, FNAF bois

David’s New Pet

  In which David by law adopted someone to be their guardian. It’s not his fault it sounds like he’s adopted a pet. g/t, FNAF bois

Cupaphobia

   Jeremy gets trapped under a cup. g/t, FNAF bois

Family Secrets

   The shortest of short size-shifter oneshot ever. g/t, FNAF bois

Give And Take

   Borrowers aren’t supposed to adopt humans for obvious reasons. Yet David did. g/t, FNAF bois

Followed By A Shadow

   Being apart of the second generation doesn’t automatically make everyone love an adore you. And while Lefty will do anything for Fritz, he still doesn’t know how to feel about his son. FNAF bois

To Anger A Father

  Five teenagers, with four being giants and one being human, all attending a night out on a Friday unsupervised, might not be the best combination. g/t, FNAF bois

Excuses, Excuses

  The fear of giants and what they’re capable of leaves most humans to live in districts only the smaller species can. Eggs grew up without interacting with their larger counterparts. Now that he has met the other, he’d like his family to at least meet one good egg. g/t, FNAF bois

Karma

    Meet the Wright Brothers. FNAF bois

Aftermath

    If the time-lines weren’t so ‘twisted’. With James thrown at a storyline a bit more close to how ‘Five Nights At Freddy’s’ is. With Marionette being a girl, and William Afton being killed by the springlocked suit. FNAF bois

Crossing No Man’s Land

   Scott Cawthon didn’t have a choice. His life had been pre-planned. He never had a way to stop it. To reverse it. But he was never prepared when it started traveling in the direction he truly wanted it to. FNAF bois

F Is For Friends

   A giant learning how to properly treat tinies. Even if they are evil little bi- HE MEANS angels...demonic angels. g/t, FNAF bois

Dveon

   If a certain egotistical business man was faced with his head-strong wife about holding their newborn son. Who’s human. And looks fragile and absolutely microscopic...David’s going to have a heart attack. g/t, FNAF bois

Bedtime Stories

   Mike Schmidt with his incredible charm tells a story that may or may not be traumatizing. To ensure you enjoy it to the fullest extent: night = knight, ‘Golden like powers’ = wizard, and the sentences completely in bold is Sir Fredbear speaking. Thank you for taking the time to listen to the wonderful tale of David the late king. FNAF bois

Nightmares Are Born

   The ‘Five Nights At Freddy’s’ fanfic that reverses what this particular blog usually portrays them as. A.K.A. no purple Vincent and an extremely not so innocent Jeremy.

Driving Lessons

   David thinks he’s the best guardian in the world. You can’t hold anything against him when his charge is smaller than his finger. g/t, FNAF bois

What Are Best Friends For?

   This is what best friends are for, and for no other reason. g/t, FNAF bois

Shoulder Angel And Devil

   Introducing a ‘new’ kind of tiny. g/t, FNAF bois

Blood On Our Teeth

  David is a vampire. Fritz is superstitious. The realization doesn’t go well. FNAF bois

| Bendy And The Ink Machine

| Chaptered Stories

Character Introductions Canon Under BATIM bois

Henry Ross

Bendy vs. Henry

    A long string of shit-posts based upon ‘Bendy And The Ink Machine’ what-if’s

Round 1  |  Round 2  |  Round 3  |  Round 4

5 Time Grant Pulled A Dad

    Don’t ask him how it happened. g/t, BATIM bois

1st Time

| Oneshots

Where We Stop No One Knows

    This has always been his loop, creating a giant mess and having Henry clean it up. Not even the power of a demon could ever break him from it. Yet here Henry is, to do the impossible all over again.

Redefined

   The definition of perfection is impossible to reach. But that doesn’t mean the want to be it vanishes after realizing. It just means you have to work harder. BATIM bois

Angels Don’t Cry

   This was a challenge piece to write a prompt based upon a random phobia given. Meet Alice Angel's phobia, ranidaphobia, the fear of frogs and toads.

Gift From The Seas

  He knows what you’re thinking, sirens have a bad reputation. But Joey can promise it doesn’t apply to him.

Outside The Studio

   Sammy Lawrence thought he left the studio and everything that happened inside behind the day he escaped. Now with his past attempting to make itself known, making him fear of what happened having a truth behind it that he’s not ready to face, he’s unable to avoid it any longer. Not with others wanting to ‘help’. Personally, he thinks they should just mind their own business. BATIM bois

Cryptic Coworkers

    Henry Stein always thought his coworkers in Joey Drew’s Studio were...interesting. He never thought be just might not be human. He should’ve when a challenge to make at least one employee a cryptid using edits, art, or writing came up.

Micro Managed

    Henry agreed to be the first ‘test subject’ for the experimental invention Gent created after Joey requested something that help reaches high places in an instant without requiring a ladder, and makes it easier to animate without going outside fine lines. g/t, BATIM bois

B R E A K I N G

   A bit of an ‘Alice In Wonderland’ take of what made Henry leave the studio.

Piano Keys

   Sammy Lawrence has his own way of letting his frustrations out. Most people should let him do what he needs to do. And most people don’t take sound advice. BATIM bois

Time, Rhyme, Line, Mine

    A BATIM inspired poem

| Miscelania Fandoms

| Sanders Sides

Anxi With A Side Of Ety Complete

In conclusion, the ‘what if’ scenario of Anxiety shrinking to about three inches in size when he first transferred over to the dubbed ‘light sides’. g/t

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Incorrectly Correct

    Logan doesn’t want to admit that it seems to be an apparition who’s been talking to him in Morse code. Good thing he’s incorrectly correct about it. ‘Correct’ because Roman certainly thinks of himself as a ghost...for the most part. g/t

| DreamSMP

Dadza vs. Giant Sons

    You should, uh, totally to a DreamSMP 800 word fic. g/t, demanded by Editor

| Lego Monkie Kid

What Could Go Wrong

    What everyone should've expected to happen at some point given Monkey King’s track record of being a lousy teacher. g/t, demanded by Editor

| Misc

SContainP

    Anxiety has been apart of the foundation for multiple years. This was supposed to be a simple job for a field agent. The job description for ‘containment’ is supposed to rely with the containment specialists.

Bird Boxed

    If the premise around ‘Bird Box’ had a much different ending, and with g/t as a major player. g/t

Over Your Shoulder

    A comment was made on Jacksepticeye’s channel of his ‘Resident Evil’ playthrough about Ethan screaming for his life, and all the while with Jack being a voice in his head, being incredibly happy when Lady Dimitrescu was torturing him. I couldn’t help myself. g/t

| Collaboration Posts

The Power Of Frogs And Kisses

    Sean’s favorite story is ‘Princess And The Frog’, and even without his dad’s reading it to him, there are traditions that must be followed. Or else beware the sad puppy-eyes. g/t, FNAF bois

Double Date

    The double date that had been promised despite all parties not knowing. g/t, FNAF bois

Husband And Roommate Unite

    Talking about raising children, and being the best husband and roommate possible. g/t, FNAF bois

Fool Me Once

    One of the many reasons why Eggs needs supervision at all times. g/t, FNAF bois

Ask And You Shall Receive

   Trying to be there for the person you love comes in many forms. And sometimes being thoughtful isn’t always completely thought out. g/t, FNAF bois

April Fools, Hunter

    The outcome of having your pranksters gain a new partner in crime, and a way to shrink down a giant for some good old fashioned payback. g/t, FNAF bois

| Special Projects

| SCP AU

Anomalies and Incident Reports

SCP-8092  |  Incident 8092-16  |  SCP-8000  |  Incident 8000-1  |  SCP-8889  |  Incident 8889-1  |  SCP-8266  |  SCP-8787  |  Incident 8786-1

The Expense Of Trust Part 1 Complete

    In the instant of a site-wide containment breach, there are only a few protocols available to follow. Know the right people, hope to be at the right place at the right time, and whatever you do, don't trust anything.

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4 

| Vampire AU

Your Bleeding Heart

    Hunt and kill vampires. That is what David was trained to do, the reason why he travels all across the country, all so that no one has to worry about what lurks in the shadows. It's supposed to be plain and simple, the rules of the trade having been set long before he became a hunter himself.

    Keyword supposed to be.

| Month Long Challenges

| G/t July 2025, by valcove g/t, FNAF bois

Subnautica AU

| [ ] 2025, by the Editor FNAF bois

Vampire AU

Day 1 Fully Present  |  Day 2 “I can’t trust you”  |  Day 3 Flower Crowns  |  Day 4 A Great Night’s Rest  |  Day 5 “Did you think that would matter?”  |  Day 6 Betrayal  |  Day 7 Rags or Riches  |  Day 8 “You’re annoying”  |  Day 9 Refreshed  |  Day 10 Crazy Monday  |  Day 11 Pet Peeves  |  Day 12 Living in Paradise  |  Day 13 Unsettled  |  Day 14 “Figure it out yourself”  |  Day 15 Stargazing  |  Day 16 Yes, no, maybe?  |  Day 17 “Talk to me”  |  Day 18 Rose Tinted Glasses  |  Day 19 Forgetting The Big Things  |  Day 20 Breakfast In Bed  |  Day 21 Frigid  |  Day 22 Denial  |  Day 23 Hand-Written Notes  |  Day 24 Sickness  |  Day 25 “Don’t leave me”  |  Day 26 Teaching Moment  |  Day 27 Lending A Hand  |  Day 28 Nasty Party  |  Day 29 Nostalgia  |  Day 30 Redeemed  |  Day 31 “I thought I taught you better” 

| Voretober 2024, by voretober g/t, FNAF bois

Space AU

Day 1 Space  |  Day 2 Thrill  |  Day 3 Drowsy  |  Day 4 Vanish  |  Day 5 Exchange  |  Day 6 Sorcery  |  Day 7 Slide  |  Day 8 Haven  |  Day 9 Craving  |  Day 10 Book  |  Day 11 Flattery  |  Day 12 Fall  |  Day 13 Peaches  |  Day 14 Pool  |  Day 15 Urgent  |  Day 16 Serendipity  |  Day 17 Rescue  |  Day 18 Fool  |  Day 19 Takeout  |  Day 20 Bond  |  Day 21 Ginger  |  Day 22 Drenched  |  Day 23 Wrap  |  Day 24 Omen  |  Day 25 Fruit  |  Day 26 Acceptance  |  Day 27 Rampage  |  Day 28 Miss  |  Day 29 Industrial  |  Day 30 Make...  |  Day 31 ...Believe

Art by paracosmic

| Gt July 2024, by gianttol g/t, FNAF bois

Subnautica AU

Day 1 Mirth  |  Day 2 Studying  |  Day 3 Plush  |  Day 4 Behemoth  |  Day 5 Fawning  |  Day 6 Grit  |  Day 7 Overbearing  |  Day 8 Shipwreck  |  Day 9 Warmth  |  Day 10 Alien  |  Day 11 Opulence  |  Day 12 Foggy  |  Day 13 Betwixt  |  Day 14 Experiment  |  Day 15 Honey  |  Day 16 Tarot  |  Day 17 Quaff  |  Day 18 Pirates  |  Day 19 Out Of Reach  |  Day 20 Sour  |  Day 21 Coveted  |  Day 22 Lost  |  Day 23 Gamble  |  Day 24 Western  |  Day 25 Doubt  |  Day 26 Bumbling  |  Day 27 Key  |  Day 28 Distortion  |  Day 29 Sweet Tooth  |  Day 30 Candlelight

Subnautica AU But Reversed

Day 31 Eeepy

| Voretober 2023, by voretober g/t, FNAF bois

Day 1 Welcome  |  Day 2 Admiration  |  Day 3 Sin  |  Day 4 Hole  |  Day 5 Support  |  Day 6 Competition  |  Day 7 Costume  |  Day 8 Sudden  |  Day 9 Wheel  |  Day 10 Stock  |  Day 11 Regret  |  Day 12 Pressure  |  Day 13 Gambit  |  Day 14 Fans  |  Day 15 Beauty  |  Day 16 Sweet  |  Day 17 Drink  |  Day 18 Wish  |  Day 19 Replica  |  Day 20 Gather  |  Day 21 Slippery  |  Day 22 Captive  |  Day 23 Stranger  |  Day 24 Harvest  |  Day 25 Ethereal  |  Day 26 Rumble  |  Day 27 Experiment  |  Day 28 Stuffed  |  Day 29 Hazard  |  Day 30 Double  |  Day 31 Trouble

| Voretober 2022, by voretober g/t, FNAF bois

Continuing Plotline 1

Day 1 Villain  |  Day 2 Hero  |  Day 3 Hunt  |  Day 4 Depths  |  Day 5 Moonlight  |  Day 6 Blanket  |  Day 7 Path  |  Day 8 Karma  |  Day 15 Adventure  |  Day 17 Lure  |  Day 18 Silence  |  Day 19 Star  |  Day 20 Show  |  Day 21 Stalk  |  Day 22 Love  |  Day 23 Cruel  |  Day 24 Hoard  |  Day 25 Performance  |  Day 26 Desire  |  Day 27 Charm

Continuing Plotline 2/Change My Mind

Day 9 Ancient | Day 10 Rage | Day 11 Offering | Day 12 Frozen | Day 13 Jam | Part 6

Two Parter 1

Day 28 Awakening  |  Day 29 Nightmare

Two Parter 2

Day 30 Game...  |  Day 31 ...Over

Oneshot

Day 14 Guest  |  Day 16 Bubble

| Inktober 2021 mostly g/t, FNAF bois, BATIM bois

Day 1 Crystal  |  Day 2 Suit  |  Day 3 Vessel  |  Day 4 Knot  |  Day 5 Raven  |  Day 6 Sprit  |  Day 7 Fan  |  Day 8 Watch  |  Day 9 Pressure  |  Day 10 Pick  |  Day 11 Sour  |  Day 12 Stuck  |  Day 13 Roof  |  Day 14 Tick  |  Day 15 Helmet  |  Day 16 Compass  |  Day 17 Collide  |  Day 18 Moon  |  Day 19 Loop  |  Day 20 Sprout  |  Day 21 Fuzzy  |  Day 22 Open  |  Day 23 Leak  |  Day 24 Extinct  |  Day 25 Splat  |  Day 26 Connect  |  Day 27 Spark  |  Day 28 Crispy  |  Day 29 Patch  |  Day 30 Slither  |  Day 31 Risk

| Discord Contests g/t, FNAF bois

February  |  March  |  April  |  June

| February Prompts g/t, FNAF bois

2 Dare  |  26 Collect

| G/tober 2019 g/t, mostly FNAF bois

Day 1 Hug  |  Day 2 Change  |  Day 3 Technology  |  Day 4 Rage  |  Day 6 Sweets  |  Day 7 Dread  |  Day 13 Chaos  |  Day 15 Break  |  Day 16 Smile  |  Day 24 

Turning away from his paperwork, Price turns his chair to see what their giant is up to. His eyes widen at the sight of a helicopter being held in the palm of Soap’s hand, looking like a toy rather than the devastating weapon it is. And yet despite having climbed in and out of it several times, Price is having a hard time remembering just how big the craft is. Not when the tail is able to be pinching between two fingers.

At least they’re not the only ones amazed. Based on Soap’s own expression impossible to misread considering it’s the size of a billboard, the sergeant stares down at the craft he’s holding in disbelief and awe. As if he can’t believe he’s big enough to pick up the same helo he’s climbed in during exfils.

Suddenly, the massive head turns toward them, Price and Ghost jolting as they feel Soap’s gaze land on them.

“Either of you want to see how well I can fly this?”

Ghost all but barks out a “No.”

“I didn’t mean actually-“

“We know what you meant,” Ghost growls, the first part of the sentence completely drowned out by Soap. The giant realized quick enough to cut himself off so his lieutenant could be heard. “We’re not playthings, sergeant.”

Soap’s playful smirk falters at the snap, glancing down at the helo he holds before flashing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “No, course not LT. Just thought since you and Price don’t like the idea of being held then this could be a good option.”

Price sighs through his nose at the distinct note of hurt in Soap’s voice, something he’s slowly become familiar with the more missions they’ve gone on together. Usually it slips by him until Gaz tells him about it, but when Soap’s voice is loud enough to burst their eardrums without even trying, it’s impossible to miss.

He can tell Ghost recognized it as well if his lieutenant going as still as statue is anything to go off on.

As their eyes meet, they hold an entire conversation without saying a single word. One consisting of how Ghost was out of line with the ‘plaything’ comment, the taller admitting he was a bit harsh, and both agreeing they’re all still getting used to this, Soap included.

Price turns his chair around completely so he can properly address the giant gently putting the helo back where it was. “Do we need to provide more aircrafts to experiment with?”

“There won’t be much of be picking up equipment, including helos,” Soap shrugs. It doesn’t get rid of the tension in his shoulders, and those eyes bigger than their heads refuse to look anywhere but at them. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Nick would be upset if he found out I was picking up his babies.”

Their pilot would be upset. Will most likely stop by Price’s office later to demand why one of his helo’s was a few feet off from where he originally parked it. A question that will only be responded to with a shrug and deflecting any anger by promising it was a training incident and it won’t happen again.

Price hums. “What do you need to practice with, then?”

Soap waves a massive hand at the question as he turns toward his commanding officers, the simple movement of planting his boot on the ground to use his knee as an elbow rest making the entire warehouse shake. “My main orders are just to get familiar with being big. Honestly you and LT don’t need to sit around with me, I’m pretty sure you have better things to do.”

Price’s mouth flattens into a thin line at the clear deflection. He has a feeling as to why Soap suddenly wants them gone despite having visibly brightened when he and Ghost walked into the hanger, and it won’t be easy to rectify.

He was glad to see a positive reaction from his sergeant this time around compared to previously. Because even though there is a set time in their schedules allocated to helping Soap train in regards to growing to the size of a giant, there’s been times when the 141 has suddenly been summoned to the hanger designated for Soap when he’s this big. Times when the youngest couldn’t control his shifting and had to ask for an emergency meeting.

The first time it happened, Price might’ve come in hotter than he should’ve, letting his fear Soap had gotten hurt come off as anger for being pulled from his office. Once he realized ‘emergency’ really meant ‘impromptu’, he reassured the giant that looked more like a kicked puppy than anything else there was no shame in losing control of his size.

Soap didn’t believe him at the time. And a few more times after that his sergeant had gotten it into his head that not being able to control his size despite only having gotten such an ability a few months ago deserved to be met with anger and punishment. As if it wasn’t an incredible feat being able to control it at all, especially after learning his size shifting was tied to his emotions.

But today was different. Today Soap greeted Price and Ghost with a smile and a “Heard paperwork was getting boring so I decided to spice it up a bit.”

And then the ease they had worked hard to build disappeared as soon as ‘playthings’ were mentioned. A word that while he knows Ghost didn’t mean it maliciously, it’s obviously something Soap constantly thinks about. The fear he’ll accidentally make his team feel like inanimate objects just because of his size. Has reassured multiple times he will never treat his captain, lieutenant, or fellow sergeant as toys. And it’s gotten to the point where Soap doesn’t even ask if he can pick someone up, not even Gaz.

Does Price want to be held inside someone’s hand? No. Even if it was Ghost he would prefer staying on the ground and giving the giant a respectful distance simply from the principle of the matter. But Soap is his sergeant, and he has been given these abilities and orders to utilize them while in the field, meaning Price can’t do what he wants but what he needs to.

And what he needs to do is help Soap check off whatever boxes their higher ups demand.

“And by sit around,” Price muses. “Do they mean just getting used to being around people while you’re this big?”

“Pretty much,” Soap admits. “But we can do it during our usual sessions. I’ll just work on trying to get unstuck.”

Price stands up from his chair, leaning over the desk that he had specifically requested once they were fully briefed on what it meant to have Soap as a teammate, carefully grabbing his paperwork to tuck under his arm.

Under Soap’s weighted gaze, he pointedly turns away from the door out of the hanger and instead purposefully walks directly toward the looming giant. Ghost only gives a quiet sigh before falling into step behind him. Good lad.

“Would rather not waste a perfectly good training session.”

The closer he gets the Soap, the more Price becomes aware of the sheer size of him. Knowing his sergeant can send a building crumbling with a single punch is one thing. Feeling the power and knowing one simple move could be fatal for anyone caught by the giant’s massive movements is another. Now he feels slightly guilty for always ordering Gaz to be the one interacting with Soap during these sessions.

Price stops next to the tip of Soap’s boot, warily eyeing the rubber that’s thicker than even Ghost is tall. “Does your captain get the luxury of getting lift up to your shoulder, or does everyone get the same treatment as Gaz and have to climb up ourselves?”

A smirk slowly spreads across Soap’s face. “You sure you want to sit on my shoulder, captain? It’s quite a height, even when I’m sitting.”

“I’ve handled worse,” he replies. “Now which will it be?”

He was expecting it, waiting for it, and yet there’s no stopping his entire body from tensing as a hand capable of smashing him like a bug appears from above before settling down palm up directly in front of him.

It’s big enough to hold him, Ghost, and Gaz at the same time with room to spare.

“I won’t make you climb up one handed,” Soap murmurs, his voice making the air shake. “But you’re welcome to take the long way up, LT.”

Price glances over at Ghost staring up at the looming giant, assessing.

He decides for his lieutenant. “You’ll ride up with me, Ghost, but I’m not willing to share the same shoulder.”

“Bloody hell,” is grumbled despite the taller obediently stepping up onto Soap’s first finger. Price waits until Ghost safely makes it to the center of the hand without incident, having remembered the first few times Gaz climbed into a giant’s hand. Remembers offering his own hand to Soap while his sergeant was shrunk and sending the poor lad tumbling when his fingers twitched from the odd feeling.

Gaz has been good practice material, because Ghost didn’t even stumble despite this being their first time doing this. Now Price just has to make sure he doesn’t embarrass himself.

Lifting his knee up a comical amount, he carefully steps up onto Soap’s ring finger, hesitating for a moment as warmth overwhelms him. No wonder Gaz kept joking about having Soap grow during the last mission where it was still snowing despite it being spring.

He carefully pushes himself off the ground, firmly planting both boots on the leathery skin that dips with his weight. Not as much as you’d think it would considering he’s a full grown man and a well trained soldier to boot, but it’s enough to make him feel slightly unbalanced. One look at Ghost seeming to be genuinely amused by Price’s wobbly actions and it spurs him forward to walk with more confidence than he feels.

Good news, he doesn’t trip or stumble. Bad news, neither he nor Ghost were prepared for when the hand moves.

The minute they’re both stable standing in his hand, Soap takes it as permission to follow through with the mission of getting them to his shoulder. Meaning the unstable floor causes both Ghost and Price to stumble as the massive being lifts his hand off the ground.

Ghost manages to fall to a knee, a hand bracing himself so he doesn’t sprawl. Price, burdened with a sizable stack of paperwork, finds himself falling onto his ass with a curse. It only gets worse as it feels like he’s getting flattened by gravity as they’re lifted ten, twenty, thirty feet into the air before stopping in front of Soap’s face.

“Smooth, LT,” the giant grins, sending shivers down their spines as they feel the giant’s voice rattling them to the bones. “You alright there, cap?”

Price’s rebuttal is to take his paperwork and whack it against the closest finger. It just so happens to be Soap’s thumb, the digit flinching as a flat ‘ow’ rumbles above. “Mind giving us a warning next time?”

“Already promising a next time?” comes a worryingly excited question to which Ghost fixes his captain with a stare that this is a one time thing only.

As if they have any say. The minute Soap learns how lethal his puppy eyes are and Ghost will be climbing onto every hand offered, and Price won’t have the heart to demand not to be picked up without asking first.

“That’s if you don’t send us over the edge.”

“Hey I’m careful,” Soap pouts. “Unlike Ghost is whenever he’s dropping me into a pocket.”

“Shoulder, sergeant,” his lieutenant quickly cuts in. He leaves the part out there will be consequences if Soap ever decides to give Ghost the pocket treatment, but going based on the giant’s wide smile he sees it more as a challenge than a threat.

But the hand obediently and slowly lifts up even higher until they’re level with Soap’s shoulder. The moment they come to a stop Ghost is on his feet and taking a running start before hosting himself up the short but steep height, leaving Price behind before he even has the chance to claim this spot as his own.

Price stares up at his lieutenant as he squats to keep his balance, a gloved hand on Soap’s neck as he takes in his new vantage point, looking as though he’s surveying a spot on top of a building for overwatch rather than standing on his own sergeant’s shoulder.

…they really are small. It’s easy to forget that as small as Soap is when he shrinks and is constantly passed around among the team to keep the minuscule figure safe, they’re the same size in comparison whenever he grows. They don’t stand more than two inches tall when there’s a giant around. It doesn’t matter if everything else stays the same size, they’re minuscule. Capable of disappearing inside a fist or getting crushed by a boot.

“Not bad, Soap,” Ghost announces. “You make a half decent sniping spot.”

“Oh it’s gets better when I stand up,” Soap smiles. “Anytime you suddenly wish for a skyscraper just let me know.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Suddenly, the hand’s moving again, and Price is hit with the reality he is completely at Soap’s mercy without Ghost close to be a deterrent. Not that he thinks his sergeant will go against his captain’s orders, but he’s seen how grabby the giant is when it’s only Gaz in his hands.

He can’t help tensing when he passes by a smirk longer than he is tall, sighing through his nose when all that happens is he’s lifted to Soap’s left shoulder, the massive limb stopping so it’s easy to walk over a climb up.

Which is better said than done. Price should’ve demanded Ghost came back to hold his paperwork so he doesn’t pitch himself over a fatal drop to the ground all because he had to climb up a giant one handed.

“Need me to pass your papers to you, captain?” Soap rumbles when Price doesn’t even try to stand up. “Or would you like me to put you on my shoulder instead of climbing up?”

Price looks between the decent step up that will require actual climbing and the fingers surrounding him. “Can you promise not to crinkle them?”

“Can’t promsie that but I do promise I won’t crinkle them on purpose.”

Price snorts at that as he tosses his stack next to him. Hands free, he carefully stands up before taking a few wobbling steps toward his destination. Weaving his hands into Soap’s shirt, he hoists himself up before freezing the moment he spots the long drop waiting for him.

Bloody hell why does Soap have to be so big?

Due to having fear like everyone on planet Earth save for Ghost, Price stays crouched as he maneuvers himself so he sits as close to Soap’s neck as possible. Almost immediately regrets it when he feels the giant’s pulse after leaning back.

He opens his mouth to demand he’s put back on the ground. That he tried it once, it’s not for him, he will support Soap any other way but he can’t be around such a massive being. Not when he feels inconsequential simply from both parties existing.

A curse slips when the hand leaves before he can jump back into it. And then pinching fingers are approaching him, delicately holding a stack of papers. His stack of papers.

“Here, cap.”

Price goes completely still as Soap’s voice makes his brain vibrate from the sheer power of it. He doesn’t miss the quiet cursing from Ghost confirming his lieutenant wasn’t ready for it either.

“…thank you, Soap.”

He reaches forward to accept his documents. There’s a brief second when they’re simply held by the giant, but the moment Price pulls on them and learns that anything held by a giant won’t budge an inch, the fingers let go, allowing him to look them over to confirm they survived being handled by someone who can’t even tell there’s words on the pages.

“You two comfortable?” Soap asks. Hopefully. Because this is the first time he’s ever been allowed to hold Price and Ghost, and he doesn’t want it to be the last.

“I’d be better if I had a sniper to aim at Garrick for when he finally gets here.”

“We aren’t shooting at Gaz,” Price announces as he shuffles his paperwork until he finds the last page he was reading.

“It’s either that or being Soap’s stress ball, and I think he’d prefer taking the bullet.”

“I don’t treat him like a stress ball…for the most part.”

“No treating him like a stress ball,” their captain adds. He pointedly gets comfortable as Soap’s neck becomes a backrest, crossing his legs as a pen finds its way into his hand to fill in a few notes. “But if he wants to join us he’s not allowed to be offered a lift up.”

The Idiothele begins to shrug before shaking his limbs. “I believe you are.” 

There’s silence, not unlike in previous cases when they have this kind of discussion, and they’re almost always having this kind of discussion. Because no matter how many times Laswell warns him about the risks of working with humans, completely undocumented humans who should have never been in space in the first place with absolutely no sensitivity training whatsoever, he only gives a hollow acknowledgement before blatantly ignoring everything she said. 

“You are about to go on a mission, correct?” 

Price’s stilts shift at the sudden turn in the conversation. “We were just about to disembark when I called to give an update.” 

“I want to be in the active coms.” 

“No,” is his immediate answer as anger rises up in him. “Active coms are for my squad only.” 

“Price,” Laswell murmurs, humming as she attempts to soothe his protective rage. “If I wanted to report you, I would have done it already. It will be on one of the frequencies that will be cut after the mission is complete. I won’t be recording anything. I just want to hear what you hear, breathe what you breathe.” 

See his team how he sees them. Three beings that, despite being strong enough to kill him within seconds before he even realized what was happening, they follow each and every one of his orders, watching his back like they do for each other in a way that’s as natural as breathing. 

“I’m trusting you, Laswell.” 

“And Great Mother knows I will never break that trust,” his friend murmurs. “Not when I hold your friendship several branches higher than my loyalty to the federation.” 

Price feels like he’s being tied up inside his own web, but there’s nothing he can do if he wants to keep Laswell at his side. She certainly has been patient with him. 

“Alright,” comes out harsher than he meant, but his mind is in several different places, most of them centered around keeping his humans safe and by his side. 

No matter what happens, even if Laswell determines this ‘experiment’ has gone on long enough, he will simply disappear as if he never existed, along with his three slings. 

“Give me a moment to brief them. I’ll contact you with a severable link once we’re on the ground.” 

“Talk to you soon, Price.” 

The Idiothele chitters to himself as he cuts the coms, gathering the last of his things before stalking out of the room to greet his squad all ready to go. 

Immediately Ghost narrows his eyes. “Something we should know about, captain?” 

Price hisses. “We will have a guest on our coms during our op. You will be on your best behavior, or I’m wrapping you up to hang from the ceiling, do I make myself clear?” 

All three humans nod once, customary from every other time they’ve agreed without any attempts to add stipulations. Soap’s expression is attentive as Gaz seems more somber than usual. 

“Is it Laswell, sir?” the lowest ranked asks. The first human he had met. The one who was in the room when Laswell had reported the potential of lethal beasts from a deathworld wondering around the galaxy. 

Price gives his own jerky nod. “It is. She wants to hear how well this team works together.” 

Ghost straightens up as he rolls his shoulders. “Let’s give a good show, then.” 

With all three in agreement, Price switched their frequency as a stilt hits the button to open the bay doors. Ghost immediately takes point as the Idiothele finalizes their technology, Soap and Gaz quickly following the second in command as Price covers their backs. 

“Coms are successfully linked. Laswell, do you copy?” 

“Copy, captain,” her familiar voice greets. 

“You’re coming through clearly on our end. Ghost, Soap, Gaz, copy.” 

“Loud and clear,” Ghost grunts. 

“Copy, captain,” Soap confirms. 

“Loud and clear, sir,” Gaz agrees. 

“Let’s make this a clean one, slings.” 

“That’s why they call me Soap, sir.” 

“I thought it was to remind you to take a thab every so often.” 

Price softly chitters a reprimand to not have so much banter right at the beginning of an operation. The coms quickly become silent, save for a faint huff from Soap jamming his elbow into Gaz’s ribs for payback from the comment. 

They make good time trekking through the foliage of a planet plentiful with water, leaves taller than even Ghost acting as perfect cover as well as a significant hinderance to their own sight and passage. It’s not terrible with quiet comments of watching where you step, warning Price of a shadow several yards away, a stern but gentle snap not to step on any foliage as a branch snaps under heavy footsteps. 

“What does ‘Soap’ mean?” 

Price can’t help an amused chitter at Laswell’s question. “It’s his callsign. Named after something used to clean things.” 

“What about the others?” 

“Ghost is named after what humans call images of their dead coming back to haunt the living. Gaz is a nickname.” 

“A nickname because Price can’t say my full name,” Gaz softly chimes in. 

“Really?” 

“You should’ve seen it, he was getting so frustrated.” 

Price’s stilts twitch as the conversation continues without Laswell’s input. “Did I answer your question, Laswell?” 

“You did,” she muses. “The callsigns are rather…” 

“Badass?” Soap grins. 

“Stupid?” Ghost offers. 

“Unique,” she settles on. 

Gaz snorts. “That’s one way to put it. Is she a polciianit?” 

“She works for the veromnteng, of course she is.” 

“We worked for the government.” 

“There’s a difference between being in the field and sitting at a shitty desk in a shitty office.” 

“I don’t believe they approve of my position,” Laswell comments. She tries to sound nonchalant, but Price hears rustling in the background. 

“I don’t like anyone who sits at a desk except you.” 

Laswell doesn’t respond other than the rustling settling down. 

“Hey Laswell,” Soap begins. “How long have you and Price been working together?” 

There’s a long moment of silence save for leaves being pushed aside as Soap and Gaz help keep a particularly big one from slamming into Price as he works to keep up with his squad. 

It goes so long he begins to grow concerned Soap accidentally scared Laswell off. And then he hears rustling even as they walk through a clearing. “Several rotations.” 

“Years,” Gaz softly translates for Soap’s confused look. 

The youngest flashes a smile. “That means you’ve got some embarrassing stories then, aye?” 

“Nothing that would be as embarrassing as any of yours, gantsree.” 

“Oi! It’s shan ta be tryin’ a paint a red neck on me, LT!” 

“English, gantsree.” 

“Fuck, you,” Soap slowly responds. 

“Remember the time he-“ 

“What’s their native language called?” Laswell softly asks, only semi-aware of the chaos unfolding. She can only hear the cursing and yelps, Price is watching in real time Soap trying to punch Gaz in the stomach as the other keeps out of range. 

He does nothing to reprimand the two, not when Ghost is more amused than annoyed at the severe lack of professionalism. “They call it English, but there’s been times when Soap seems to use an entirely different dialect with how often Ghost asks for a translation, and sometimes Gaz does the same thing for Ghost.” 

“They don’t have a universal dialect?” Laswell asks, bewildered. 

Price’s stilts shift. “From what I’ve come to understand, no.” 

“That sounds-“ 

“In English, the word is imipritive,” Ghost suddenly cuts in. “Our planet and its creatures seem beneath you. A planet at war is a planet not worth its salt. Yet despite all of that, we’ve been running flawless ops with Price at the mleh.” 

The coms are silent, including the quiet argument between Soap and Gaz. It’s almost as if a web of melancholy has wrapped itself around everyone. 

Then Ghost gives a huff of a laugh. “If we haven’t booted Soap out of the airlock yet, you don’t have to worry about us going guero.” 

“You know you love me, LT.” 

A fist being held up has everyone going completely silent, the difference almost eerie with just how quiet such large beings can become. Price obediently crouches as the rest do, quickly moving to Ghost’s side as Gaz and Soap move to his other as the two drop to their stomachs. 

Ghost already has his gun set up on the ridge they find themselves on, scope searching the buildings below. 

“I’m on tcherwaov. There’s too many ileossth, and I don’t see too many obstacles. Gaz, Soap, stick with Price and follow his lead, I’ll advise if needed.” 

“Leaving it to you, LT.” 

“On you, Price.” 

“Alright,” the Idiothele chitters as he carefully moves around Ghost to meet up with the other two, stilts nudging them to prompt them to follow as he attaches a web to their backs. “Let’s go.” 

“One time,” Laswell cuts in carefully. Her voice doesn’t make any of their footsteps falter, completely focused on the mission at hand. “Price was on a mission on a water planet, and it took him two days just to grab a single file that wasn’t even locked in a safe.” 

Soap softly cackles somewhere behind him. Price tugs on his web, but if it almost made the youngest trip, no one could tell. “You’re scared of water that much!” 

“Can’t swim, mate,” Price huffs as he flattens himself against a wall, his humans copying without hesitation. 

“Well next time you send him to a water planet, we’ll be there to keep him from falling in,” Gaz smiles. 

“And we’ll definitely have to have a nickech fight.” 

“No go on a nickech fight,” Ghost joins in. “I don’t want to see Johnny in a suitmiws.” 

“Bet I’d look better in one than you, LT.” 

“In your dreams, gantsree.” There’s a soft click over the coms. “Enemy approaching your current position, take a right to stay out of sight.” 

The three of them disappear into the shadows as they weave through the buildings. Stop when they find the only one with a flat roof. Gaz doesn’t say a word as Price immediately scoops him under an arm as he stands tall on his stilts. 

“Soap, signal if someone’s coming, Gaz and I are going through the roof.” 

“Copy, go pull a ‘isoiMn soibsleImp’ Gaz.” 

That’s when the sling he picked due to being the least likely to get himself tangled in a web finally seems to realize Price’s plan, squawking as the Idiothele scales up the building with him in tow. “You’re lowering me down from the ceiling?!” 

“That’s the plan,” Price chirps. “Have any better ideas?” 

Gaz goes completely limp, sighing as he’s gently lowered onto the roof. “Other than letting Ghost take a shot at me?” 

“Just say the word, gantsree.” 

“Jesus Christ, Ghost, not while you’re on tcherwaov.” 

“Cut his pocket open, LT!” 

“Slings,” Price berates as he tightens the last web around Gaz’s waist. “Ghost, keep an eye on the door. Soap, he’s blind to the back I need you aware.” 

“Aye.” 

“Soap’s done this plenty of times, Gaz,” Price offers with an encouraging chitter. “You’ll do great, lad.” 

Gaz sighs, but he obediently kicks open the rooftop access. “Next time Ghost drops from the ceiling.” 

Things got better as time went by. Ghost of course was the first one who silently put his foot down on gaining some personal space. He relented to stay in the same room as the others, his own instinctive need to keep the two within arm’s reach at all times never waining, but his skin was beginning to crawl from having someone constantly touching him. Gaz and Soap lasted a little longer, the two clinging to each other even when one was awake keeping watch.

Finally, though, they got to a point where they felt safe enough to not have each other within eyesight of all times. Where they all could sleep at the same time without posting a guard to watch over the rest. Where they could go so far as to claim separate rooms to sleep in separate beds knowing their captain was watching over them.

But if there’s one thing Ghost knows more than anything else, and that’s how the past will always haunt you.

Soap tends to be the one most affected by it, so it’s no surprise when the youngest of the group silently appears at Ghost’s door, simply staring up at his lieutenant.

Ghost doesn’t say a word. Already dressed for sleep, he immediately alters his path to his bed to instead heed his sergeant’s silent demands, Soap quickly turning in order to lead him down the hallway to the common area.

Ghost raises an eyebrow at seeing Gaz already setting up a nest of blankets in the corner where they can easily see every entrance into the room. He had assumed it was Soap having a bad night, but it looks like it was Gaz instead.

He doesn’t blame his other sergeant. Not when there’s times even the cold blooded killer who’s name makes anyone who hears it start shaking in their boots finds himself jolting awake in a cold sweat as he desperately grips a knife he always keeps close even in sleep.

Soap and Ghost wait patiently outside of the mass of blankets until Gaz finally beckons them in, the youngest diving in as their lieutenant waits until the two are settled. Then he’s climbing in as well, carefully folding himself as he sits down close enough to have a leg or an arm thrown out to intertwined with his own, but not enough to be clung to.

“Do we need to post a guard?” he asks, gruff but not unkind.

As Gaz opens his mouth to answer, the door across the room suddenly opens. Ghost grabs his knife to throw at whatever is coming to grab them, tensing when he sees the familiar silhouette of Price in the dim lights.

Their captain poses in what Soap has called a ‘threat display’, but they’ve learned that’s his way of offering an apology as well. Something that most likely came about to mimic the way the three of them tend to hold their hands out to try and calm someone down.

“Are we securing the rec room tonight?”

“Aye,” Soap confirms. “Will you be securing it with us, cap?”

Ghost glances over at Gaz perking up at the thought as the overgrown spider’s long legs shift thoughtfully. “I’ll be the posted guard.”

Soap and Gaz immediately burry themselves into the blankets as they become a single entity that won’t be moving anytime soon. Ghost ends up with one of his legs being claimed by both, but he doesn’t join them.

He watches as Gaz’s shivers slowly fade away. Watches Soap’s white knuckled grip loosens bit by bit. Refuses to watch his own hand fight to reach out and confirm the two are real and he isn’t alone.

Instead his eyes land on Price. Feels his eyebrows raise at the spider looking undeniably fond as he slowly walks closer to post himself protectively over his sleeping squad.

There’s also a bit of envy if he’s not mistaken. Specifically toward the gangle of limbs where it’s impossible to tell what belongs to Soap and Gaz. Toward the subconscious need to be in contact with Ghost despite blatantly keeping his distance.

Hadn’t Soap said Price was big on being allowed in someone’s personal space? That physical contact is important to the spider?

“Are you going to stay up for a bit, atme?”

Ghost stares down at his sergeants already snoring away, trusting their lieutenant and alien captain to keep them safe.

“I’ll leave it to you, captain,” Ghost murmurs as he carefully lies down to not jostle Soap and Gaz.

Price chitters in a way Soap said to mean the spider was happy. He watches through half-lidded eyes as the figure suddenly grows twice in height as their captain looms over them. A promise that no matter what comes through the door, it won’t be reaching them or making it back out alive.

He closes his eyes right as Soap wraps an arm around the nearest stilt, for the first time in a long time falling asleep without the promise of a nightmare waiting as a chorus of screams becomes his lullaby.

“Solid, captain,” is always the answer, followed by a lopsided grin from Soap, an eye roll from Ghost, or a genuinely thankful smile from Gaz. 

When it comes to Price, it’s Soap who they turn to. Not because he’s better than Gaz for evaluating injuries, but because he’s the only one who’s pushed more boundaries than anyone would want or is willing to, therefore he stands as the expert when it comes to injuries regarding the Idiothele. 

So whenever there’s a sickening crack after Ghost covers Price with his body by shoving them both to the ground, Soap immediately yells “He’s good! Just a joint locking!” 

Or when Price climbs up a wall before folding himself into a rather nausiating shape, Soap only grins at Ghost and Gaz’s wide eyes. “That’s how he can fit into small spaces. You do not want to see him when he’s acting like a trapdoor spider.” 

Or the first time he ever lost a fang…wait Price lost what?! 

“Holy shit Price!” Soap yells as he leaps over the table, Gaz immediately sitting up at the sound of their spider expert actually being concerned.

“What happened?” is ignored as Soap grabs Price’s head, gently but firmly pulling the spider close as he tries to access the damage. The fact Price is trying to free himself as his stilts shove at Soap doesn’t make him feel any better as Gaz quickly jogs over. “Is he okay?” 

“‘oap,” Price slurrs as he chitters, the missing fang making it hard to complete the sounds. “Let go I’m fine.” 

“What the hell happened?” Ghost demands as he appears behind Price. He quickly catches the stilt that raised in selfdefense, gently moving it back down until it rests on the floor. 

“He was eating something, and then his fang just came off,” Soap responds. He leans away once he determines there’s no blood, but he doesn’t remove his hands even as Price hisses. “Does it hurt?” 

“Humanssss,” is all but spat. Finally his head is released, though none of them back up to give him space. “I’m fine, it happens. I’m tloming soon, so there’s no need to worry.” 

“You swear?” 

“I ‘wear. Give me one cycle.” 

Gaz glances at Soap’s narrowed eyes, waiting for the final word on how they should proceed. Finally the youngest steps away from Price as he flicks his hand in an ‘I’m watching you’ motion. Ghost then takes his own step back, allowing the spider to step out of the protective circle. 

Before he walks away, a stilt nudges each of their shoulders. “Thank you, gnilss. I’m glad I never have to worry about you itngib my head off if I ever seem to be broken.” 

“If we did that, that means we would’ve killed Soap forever ago,” Ghost replies. 

“Oh fuck off, LT.” 

“Behave while I’m gone,” Price warns before he disappears.

Gaz looks between his squad mates. “I bet Soap will last two hours before he tries to break into Price’s room.” 

Ghost glances down at Soap. “I give him one.” 

“You’re both wrong,” Soap says as he quickly follows after their captain. “Mission ‘don’t leave Price’s side until the fang is back’ is a go.” 

Their lieutenant sighs as he stalks after Soap. “On me, sergeant. We’re locking him in the rec room.” 

He’s supposed to find caves comforting. They’re one of the few places he will run into without hesitation if he’s trying to flee. In fact, that’s the reason why they’re all currently making their way through the vast cave system of the planet they’re on, his squad following his orders to get underground without hesitation. 

Unfortunately, these particular caves meant instead of a dark frozen tunnel perfect for him to transverse and guide his humans to safety, it’s bright with the air full of water. 

The moment he realized his mistake, it was too late to go back. Not unless he wanted to put them right into the enemy’s clutches to kill him while executing his humans one by one if they refused to cooperate and change sides. He’s just thankful Ghost has noticed his hesitant steps once the glowing stones properly spotted his vision meant for dim and dark corridors. 

His second in command was kind enough to not mention Price’s failure as he silently took point, nor did he sigh after getting a web attached to him. Good lad. 

But now Price is trying his hardest not to stumble on the uneven floor he can barely see. Is trying not to let his nerves show when their voices echo through the hollow rock to send phantom vibrations through the ground. Fights to keep his stilts close rather than poised for attack less Soap realize he’s on edge. 

As they slowly make their way back to the ship, one stilt suddenly stretches high above his head, twitching as it reacts to something Price has yet to indentify. But if there’s anything he trusts, it’s his instincts, meaning he springs toward the opposite wall away from what his body is reacting to. 

His stilts dig into the blindingly bright rock as he pulls himself several yards above the ground, poised to attack or flee once he identifies the threat. 

It’s quiet as he listens for movement. Too quiet. His slings have stopped talking. 

“All clear, captain?” Gaz quietly asks, clearly worried but sounding confused. Meaning whatever Price reacted to is either insignificant and didn’t prompt such a reaction, or there’s nothing there. 

“Solid,” Price grunts. He hesitates before carefully climbing back down to stand on solid ground. His attempt to tuck his stilts away is a lost cause now that his instincts are sure there’s something out to get him. “Thought I heard something.” 

“I’ve heard something like a frie ckinglrac,” Soap reports, his tone serious for once. “I wonder if these stones have some kick to them.” 

“You’re not using these to making another bloody bomb,” Ghost growls as he turns to continue leading them down the tunnel. “Keep your eyes peeled.” 

Price’s stilts flinch when he realizes he did hear Ghost correctly for the common word ‘peeled’. Hopefully the human hadn’t meant the definition for taking the outer layer off something, or maybe that’s just how they describe the fact human’s eyes can adjust to different levels of light. 

Bloody hell, can they adjust on command? 

With his stilts twitching from envy rather than nerves, Price picks up the pace until he sees a shape blocking out the light. He gently taps it with a stilt, eliciting a quiet amused huff, confirming he found Gaz. With his most trusted human close, his stilts finally lower as his shoulders slump. Still wired as the feeling of moister clings to him, but Gaz will be his eyes and watch his back so he doesn’t end up in a deep pool of water. 

“I kind of like the cave you picked, Cap,” Gaz smiles. “We don’t usually have such brilliant sights during ops.” 

The Idiothele chitters from the reassurance his mistake was a good one rather than catastrophic. “You’re saying you wouldn’t enjoy a cave without the blinding stones?” 

“I enjoy not being in a terrifyingly dark cave where I can’t see two inches from my face, yes.” 

“Oh come on, Gaz,” Soap jeers. “We all know Price wouldn’t let us run into anything in the dark.” 

“Certainly not a creature, but if he didn’t lead you into the wall, he would’ve missed a wonderful opportunity,” Ghost says, followed by the sound of splashing. 

Price tenses at the realization there’s water nearby. Enough to have a puddle big enough for someone or something to step in and create a loud sound. But he can’t sense where water lies even within a small radius, not with moisture clinging to him like webbing. He can’t confidently say if one of his humans caused the splash, or if something behind them did, and Gaz doesn’t slow down even for a second. 

Keeping in pace with him, Price’s head swivels as his stilts rise, searching for an answer as he attempts to see past the blinding light impossible to look through, hairs rising as something falls behind him. 

Price whirls around with a hiss as his stilts come up in a threat display, shoving Gaz behind him to protect the human. When he hears the faintest splash from a drop of water, he blindly stabs in front of him to hopefully grab his target. 

He finds nothing. And then the sound of laughter rips through the silence. 

Before Price can ask what Soap finds so amusing, he sees a thin line reflecting the light as it falls directly in front of him. He stabs again with better accuracy, catching the unknown item on a silt. 

Mother Silk it’s water. Now he understands why Soap is cackling like a sling who hasn’t had their nap yet. 

“Hey Price?” Soap struggles to ask past his mirth. “Did the water attack you?” 

The Idiothele can’t offer a response. Not when, despite having knowledge that what his instincts zeroed in on is completely harmless in its current state, he can’t stop his threat display as he waits for it to pounce. As if water ever did such a thing when it’s a single drop falling with gravity. 

A hand gently settles on his shoulder. “You alright, Price?” 

“On edge,” Pride grits out to Gaz’s question. 

He can sense the human becoming confused. “What are you on edge about?” 

Price’s stilts twitch as he waits for Ghost to come up with an answer, for his second command to tell the others what he noticed or tell them it’s due to the mission. The human doesn’t chime in, leaving him to make his own choice on what to admit. 

“I can’t see inside this bloody cave,” he growls. “It’s too bright.” 

Soap’s laughter suddenly cuts off. “I thought the dim lights were just more comfortable.” 

“They are, but too much light concentrated in a small space makes it impossible for me to see.” 

He waits for them to berate him for not telling them. For putting them in danger not knowing Price was simply reacting due to not having one of his core senses. 

The hand on his shoulder carefully squeezes before he’s gently pushed toward another pair of hands that firmly tuck his raised stilts back down. “Web.” 

Price chitters softly at Ghost’s no nonsense tone as he immediately hands over the rope he always has spun before missions in case he needs to anchor himself or keep Soap from getting too far away. He can’t see what his second in command is doing, but he senses his web being passed around as it’s attached to one point, then a second, then a third before a full circle is completed with him in the center. 

“Soap is to your right, Gaz is to your left, and I’m in front of you,” Ghost’s gruff voice reports. “You’re in the middle between us all. We’ll let you know if we come across water, but you can only react verbally if you sense a tileosh.” 

Price feels like an unruly sling. “Understood.” 

A hand roughing pats his shoulder as Gaz hums. “Our turn to guide you through the dark, Price. Bought time since you’re always dragging our asses out of the frie.” 

He feels the web in front of him tug, Price obediently following as he keeps an equal distance between all three of his humans. Because he needs to be protected, more of a hinderance than an asset. Unfit to lead his squad. 

Soap chuckles to himself. “Remember the time I got stuck after climbing up a tower?” 

Gaz snorts at the memory. “Yeah, and I remember you were such a aredscy tac Pride had to climb up after you just to get you down.” 

“Oi, I wasn’t a aredscy tac. It was a titiacal move.” 

“Was it also titiacal to cling to Price like a aolak?” Ghost asks. 

“Yes.” 

Price remembers that mission. His webless sling had somehow managed to climb a several hundred feet in order to clear a sniper’s nest before covering them the high vantage point while they got over the walls. 

The only issue was Soap couldn’t get himself down after forgetting to bring rope up with him after climbing what should’ve been impossible for any creature except Idiothele and the Rapthsints known for clinging to surfaces on vertical inclines who’s base they just infiltrated. But he had climbed, and he could not get down. Of course Price didn’t mind saving his youngest sling despite the entire situation being his own fault, though it was hard to properly maneuver when Soap clung to him like a newborn sling despite being the size of a full grown Idiothele and three times heavier. 

Ghost and Gaz didn’t let him forget about it for several cycles. But it would’ve been almost impossible to end the mission without injuries if not for the risky move. 

Price isn’t pulling a risky move to save the mission, however, to keep his humans from harm. He made a bad decision that ended with him becoming a liability. 

He restrains himself from instinctively trying to stab the fleshy arm nudging his side. “I keep forgetting aliens are, ya know, alien. I bet there’s nothing in here cause nothing can see under these glowing stones.” 

…it has been rather quiet save for dripping water. 

“Bet that’s why the ones looking for us haven’t thought to come in here,” Gaz musses. 

“That’s why Price is the captain.” 

“We all know you’d be a shit one, LT.” 

“Price, Soap needs a timeout when we’re back on the ship.” 

The Idiothele chitters as he thinks it over. “I’m thinking instead of a timeout, I let him chase after me with all of the lights on.” 

“We’re supposed to punish him for insubordination, not reward it,” Ghost huffs. 

“Clearly I’m the favorite.” 

“In your dreams.” 

“I think that’d be a good training regiment, sir,” Gaz murmurs to keep out of the current argument. “We can also make Hunt Down Soap a regular thing.” 

Price nudges the smirking human with a stilt. “I hunt all of you down when the ship’s dark.” 

“Yeah, but you specifically gun after Soap.” 

“You’d rather I go after you?” 

“No, sir.” 

Price huffs a laugh. Feels the weight of his stilts lighten at his offer to turn his liability into an asset is only interpreted as something that strengthens all of them. Not making the weakest link into something valuable enough to keep around. 

He doesn’t have to fight just to stay alive anymore. Not when it comes to his humans. “Hunt Down Soap it is.” 

“Fuck yes. When I give the nalsig, get the hell out of here.” 

Before Price can say anything, Soap is running away as fast as one can while trying to stay as low as possible. But one thing his humans will never be, and that’s slow. Within seconds, the youngest is disappearing into the night, too far away from Price to see or sense. 

The Idiothele turns to Gaz looking ready to sprint at a moment’s notice as Ghost begins to take apart his gun to stow away. “What does Foobar mean?” 

The human’s brow furrows like it always does when he’s thinking over the best way to answer Price’s questions. “It’s an cronamy for ‘fucked up beyond all recognition’. It’s a term used in the litmayr.” 

“It means we let Soap off the leash,” Ghost says as he pulls of a single scope to continue watching what’s below them. 

“Because if we’re already fucked, might as well go out with a bang,” Gaz grins. 

Price hums as he pieces together the new term, one that most likely will come up again in the future. “What does it entail?” 

“It’s different each time,” Gaz explains, his head turned toward Price to show he’s focused on what the Idiothele is asking, but his pupils are locked on Ghost as they wait for a signal. “Soap always has a backup nalp running through his head, and it always has to do with explosives.” 

Price’s stilts to show he understands. “What does pln mean?” 

“Pln- oh, plan. Another option we strategized for. Plan A was to get in and out without setting off any alarms, Plan B is to see if Soap can blow this whole place sky high.” 

Plan, Price can add that to his vocabulary. “Why do you put a singular symbol behind it?” 

“It’s to show where it is in the order of operation,” Ghost joins in. “Plan A is what we follow until we can’t, then we follow Plan B until we can’t, so on and so forth.” 

Price hadn’t realized just how organized his humans were. He knew they are organized, of course, there’s a reason why they’re currently in the middle of an operation in the first place. But he hadn’t known how meticulous they were and how many terms could be applied. Not even Laswell had him memorize so many different acronyms. 

He wants to learn everything. Be as efficient as they are where everyone has the same exact instincts when a single word is said. 

“Soap’s signaling.” Ghost suddenly stands up as he slings his bag over his shoulder. Gaz and Price are on their feet as well, following the tallest as he starts to race down a nearly invisible path. “Hopefully the dumbass actually waits before-“ 

“reiF in the oleh!” 

Ghost managed a single curse before the entire ground is shaking. It sends the tallest staggering as Price immediately stands on his stilts as they stab into the ground around Ghost protectively. Gaz comes up along with him into the air as he keeps the lowest ranked human away from vibrations that feel less like an explosion and more like the ground has suddenly become alive. 

A strong hand grabs one of his silts as Ghost growls. “Bloody hell, did he find a nuclear bomb lying around?” 

“It’s worse than that,” Gaz murmurs, though there’s a distinct pit of amazement in his tone as his eyes focus on something in the distance Price can’t see as the entire facility becomes a single blazing sun impossible to look at. “I think Soap set off a chain.” 

“Bloody hell.” 

There’s another explosion that ripples through the ground. Feeling it barreling toward them, Price scoops Ghost under his arm as he tosses Gaz over his shoulder. Slightly straining himself, his stilts stab into the wall beside them as he quickly climbs up. 

“Mother Silk,” the Idiothele huffs. “Think you could get smaller, mate?” 

“Ghost get smaller?” Gaz chuckles, well aware of who Price was talking to considering he’s never mentioned having trouble holding the shorter. “Impossible when he working out 24/7.” 

“I only work out once a week.” 

“Shit, Ghost, Price is right you do need to get smaller.” 

“Captain!” interrupts the bickering as Price leans over the wall to see Soap covered head to toe in very toxic dust only found in explosives waving up at him. “Down here! Hurry before the next chain goes off.” 

“There’s more?” Ghost demands. 

Price doesn’t respond as he quickly manurers himself to prepare to leap clean over the wall despite being overburdened. Gaz goes silent as well, tensing as he prepares for the Idiothele to jump as every muscle contracts. 

When he does, Ghost lets out an involuntary gasp as the three of them become completely airborne, managing to clear the top of the wall by several feet, and the drop to the ground is a little over a hundred. 

But unlike his humans, Price can’t survive that kind if fall, so as they succumb to gravity his stilts stab into the wall at the same time the web he attached to the other side becomes taunt to slow their descent until he can safely stop them 50 feet above where Soap waits without ripping a leg off. 

“Almost there, lads,” Price grunts as he slowly scales down the wall, happy to assist Ghost to the ground once his second in command struggles the moment he’s a survival distance. 

Gaz is much more patient as he allows the Idiothele to keep him on his shoulder for a few more moments as Soap and Ghost immediately sprint away from the facility. Price follows without hesitation, standing tall on his stilts as he swings Gaz off his shoulder, gently holding fleshy hands as he holds the lowest ranked above the ground before lowering him down so he lands on his feet running. 

Finally, Price drops to his primary legs, running after Soap yelling unfamiliar words but clearly ecstatic. 

“Price did you see what I did!” 

“I did,” the Idiothele responds, adding a small chitter to symbolize pride. It would’ve been lost on anyone else but Soap, and his youngest human pumps his fist in a way that shows joy. 

“Don’t encourage him, captain.” 

“He did get us out alive,” Gaz offers. 

“By nearly killing us.” 

“Slings,” Price snaps without any real anger. “We’ll go over the mission on the ship. For now, let’s get out of here.” 

The worst part is their size isn’t what determines the fact they truly don’t belong here, so small they could be dropped into a drawer or lost among the various items decorating the counter. It’s the fraying graphic t-shirt of an obscure rock band that screams louder than words they don’t know just how valuable the very thing they’re leaning against so casually, Creed meaning little to nothing despite it meaning everything to someone with refined taste.

And yet the thousand dollar bottle of cologne is worthless compared to the minuscule figure known for balking at the thought of spending $2 on a can of soda it looms over.

David looks back at the suit jacket he’s thoroughly gone over. “Oh? And you can properly inspect my work all the way from over there?”

Because he’s currently only standing 5 feet away from the counter, but to someone not even as tall as his thumb, it’s nearly a mile away. A fact he genuinely finds to be amusing.

Scott’s glare says he doesn’t share the same sentiment. “Are you trying to mock me for my size or my age?”

“Depends,” David muses. “Which one would piss you off more?”

He’s careful not to smile at Scott’s indignant look. The one that wordlessly asks why he ever agreed to date David. It was bad enough he can simply be plucked off a table and shooed off somewhere else or get pocketed if they ever get into an argument. Add in the ego of thinking you’re superior enough to have the right to do such actions whenever they please for whatever reason they chose, and why would he ever want such a relationship?

“Sounds like you never really wanted my help,” Scott huffs, tilting his head up in mock disapproval. An action that is too easy to miss from such a small figure if he wasn’t paying attention. “Did you just want an excuse to show off?”

“I will always take the opportunity to show off,” David smiles before it turns into a smirk when the glare turns deadly. “Sounds like you don’t want to spend time with me.”

“I wonder why,” Scott murmurs. David will admit, it’s impressive how someone so small can speak loud enough to be heard while still making it sound like a whisper.

But even as Scott’s head turns completely away from David, eyes wondering over the counter littered with objects twice his size, he doesn’t make any demand to be put on the floor so he can leave. He doesn’t even try to climb down himself to avoid interacting with the very person he’s trying to avoid.

David turns back to inspecting his jacket, all but ignoring each other. They’ve both gotten their points across, that being that David didn’t truly need help as originally believed. He only wanted an excuse to have Scott join him while he got ready for a PR function of Fazbear’s considering that, despite having been such a key member of the company for a decade, Scott viscerally declined to join especially if it meant wearing something professional for once in his life.

He’s not clingy. There’s a possibility emersion therapy will convince Scott to at the very least wear the standard Fazbear uniform. There’s also a possibility David is getting extremely close to using his size to his advantage and forcing the stubborn man into slacks and a button-down, but they’ll try psychology first.

Flipping his jacket around, David looks over the pristine lines completely void of hairs and random string curtesy of Fritz somehow managing to always get one stuck to him. He does one final pass with the lint roller just to be safe before straightening up with a satisfied smile.

“Told you.”

His head snaps over to where Scott is pointedly not looking at him, pretending he hadn’t said anything. But they both know he did.

David looks down at the lint roller in his hand thoughtfully. Reaches a hand up to carefully touch the sticky tape.

“You’re right, Scott, I did miss a spot.”

A smirk spreads across his face as Scott straightens up from the praise, seeing the moment when he tenses when he realizes that’s a sentence he doesn’t want to hear.

David sneers as he turns to the minuscule thing trapped on the counter. “Right over there.”

The moment the lint roller is pointed at him, Scott sprints. It’s a bit adorable watching him try to escape when all David has to do is take two steps before he’s in grabbing range. But he’s enjoying the chase, very entertained as he watches his boyfriend duck behind a can of hairspray.

“David Harrison!” comes out as a panicked warning as Scott disappears from sight. The false sense of security is lost as David takes a step forward, purposefully making his shoe clack hard against the ground. He’s watched Scott stumble plenty of times from footsteps alone to know it made him stumble. “Don’t you dare bring that anywhere near me!”

“What, this?” David asks innocently as he motions to the lint roller, looking it over in faux confusion. He sees Scott peek out from his ‘hiding spot’ in his peripheral, glancing over when the movement becomes frantic running toward another object. “What’s wrong with a lint roller?”

“Everything!” Scott shouts indignantly as he full on dives behind David’s watch collection.

He hums as he takes another step forward, his shadow falling over where Scott currently ‘hides’. “Define everything.”

“Everything! The fact it’s twice my size! That it’s covered in string! That it’s made of glue!”

David can’t help himself. “Truthfully it sounds like everything I would want in a lint roller.”

“Davidson I swear to-“

Scott doesn’t get to finish his curse. David leans over the counter to loom directly above where the minuscule figure sits, creating what he can imagine is a rather ominous sight. He sneers at the absolutely tiny expression of fear as Scott’s head tilts back to stare directly up at him.

Then Scott’s scrambling to his feet, running yet again in a fruitless attempt to escape. “David wait!”

It’s effortless placing a hand directly in front of the running figure’s path, chuckling when Scott runs full speed into the waiting palm, the look of disorientation rather amusing before it’s sealed away behind fingers longer than he is tall.

David will never get over the fact just how easy it is to pick up an entire person. It’s quite a power trip, to hold someone inside his fist, his grasp impossible to escape from unless he allows it even as Scott thrashes.

He quickly, but not too quickly less his form gets corrected, lifts his hand off the counter, unfurling his fingers to reveal a rather rumpled figure that immediately scrambles to get up on his feet. It turns out to be a rather hard task as Scott yells as he falls onto his side after attempting to stand up.

Slightly worried Scott might fall over the edge, David gently pins him down with his thumb to give a victorious smile. “What were we saying about me missing a spot?”

“David I’m serious!” Scott yells as he shoves at the finger on his chest. David fights hard not to twitch at the odd feeling of such small digits, focusing on the rapid heartbeat. “Don’t put that thing near me!”

There’s only been a few things that have genuinely terrified Scott. They had a fight involving pockets when they first started dating, and it took having thought Fritz hadn’t been retrieved before a suit jacket was thrown into the washer did he finally admit it was the thought if being thrown in with clothes to drown in the wash that were the reason they were off limits. There had been numerous arguments regarding wanting to be in the kitchen while David cooked, but absolutely no where on the counters despite it being much safer than nearly getting stepped on almost constantly, up until it was finally revealed the issue was the fear of ending up inside of the food.

And now. At first David just thought Scott was going along with their game. He’s rather fond of chasing the significantly smaller down, either on the floor where his footsteps are catastrophic and sends Scott tumbling when he gets close enough, or across the surface of a counter or desk as he takes away hiding spots until he finally gets his prize. Scott is less so fond, but he allows it. And when he’s not in the mood, he’ll let David know. Whether or not David listens is another thing, but there hadn’t been an attempt to stop the game this time.

No, that’s genuine fear being aimed toward the plastic item in David’s hand. Fear that will never be admitted to but is silently prevalent.

Looking at the item he holds, David tries to find the exact why it’s so terrifying. Scott had mentioned the fact it’s covered in string, but David isn’t one to get dirty, the only thing he’s come close to being Fritz. The word ‘glue’ had been mentioned.

…he would’ve enjoyed lint rolling Scott off his shoulder.

The lint roller is silently set on the counter an arms length away, holding back a shiver at the thought of just how near impossible and rather painful it would’ve been to get Scott off the sticky paper. David then takes a step away from it, lifting his hand higher as he frees Scott, watching his boyfriend quickly sit up to see where the object of his terror is.

When their eyes meet, Scott takes a few deep breaths before slumping in relief. Then he looks away, a red blush of shame unmistakable despite his size.

David makes it worse by leaning forward to kiss Scott, smirking at the minuscule figure startling against his lips before he pulls away to meet wide eyes. “I think I finally got the last spot.”

Scott quickly closes his mouth as he composes himself with a glare. “I’m never helping you get ready again.”

David takes his jacket off the hook to sling it over his shoulder as he brings the hand holding Scott to his chest. “Your loss. Every time Fritz joins me he always has a blast.”

“Doing what, nearly drowning in the sink, inhaling toxic fumes, and being treated as a stress reliever?”

“You got two out of three right,” David replies. His hand cups around Scott protectively as he approaches the stairs, carefully taking each step with both occupied and unable to grab the railing. “His main job is being a living lint roller, but somehow he finds time to fall into the sink at the worst time.”

Scott whacks one of his fingers. “I’m surprised you haven’t killed him yet.”

David scoffs. “He’s alive because of me. He would’ve died a while ago if it weren’t for me.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“The coffee incident was not my fault.”

Key word is about to make into a working bomb. So as he’s literally dragged away from his project by a very determined spider, he doesn’t frantically yell for Gaz to disarm his newest creation. Instead he only focuses on keeping up with Price as they all but run down the halls of the small ship, a giant grin on his face.

He has absolutely no idea why Price is acting like they’re about to be blown out of the sky, but even though their captain sure seems frantic, the spider is anything but. He’s learned how to tell when Price is panicked and when he just wants something done, and right now it’s the latter. 

“Hi, Ghost!” Soap greets as he spots the lieutenant. Within a blink, they’re already racing past him. “Bye, Ghost!” 

“What the hell did you do?” 

“Nothing!” is all he can offer as he yells over his shoulder before disappearing around a corner. Most likely sounding very suspicious, but he can’t do anything about that! He’s just telling the truth! 

…at least, hopefully. Did Price find his book of pranks to pull on Gaz? Did the spider finally decide to punish him for the time he hung Gaz from the ceiling? Or the time he wrapped Gaz in webs? Or the time-? 

Suddenly, they’re coming to a halt in the storage hanger before he’s being turned to face a rather daunting sight of a completely dark hall. He can’t even spot any other lights coming from another doorway. 

Oh shit, he is being punished for something. Gaz is getting all of his shoes glued to the floor for tattling. 

“Okay, Soap,” Price chitters. “I need you to try and keep from getting caught for as long as possible.” 

Soap tenses. “Is this about stealing your tea constantly?” 

“No,” sounds a bit too wry to be completely innocent. “You can look at this as a new training tnregeemnt.” 

He has no idea what that second word is, but he understands training, and it’s a 50% chance this ends with his shit getting rocked. “Training for what?” 

Price straightens up, his stilts shifting in reminiscent of someone rolling their shoulders as they limber up. “For a special olidhya.” 

“Do I get something if I win?” 

The spider chitters to himself as he thinks it over for a moment. “A free pass.” 

Soap immediately offers a hand to seal the deal, and this time Price doesn’t hesitate too long before offering his own stilt to shake. “I get a five second head start!” 

“iveF,” Price immediately starts counting as he lifts himself several feet into the air. “ouFr, reeht-“ 

Soap is already turning a corner as he blinding runs through completely darkness, going based solely on his mental map of the ship. 

“Why are all the lights out?!” 

“Watch out, Gaz! Price is on the hunt!” 

“Sorry?” 

But Soap can’t reply. Not when he hears the haunting sound of something big skittering through the halls almost directly behind him. Thankfully he didn’t finish his newest explosion or else he would’ve set it off by the way the sound of Price chasing after him makes his fight or flight instincts go into hyperdrive. 

“Ghost!” interrupts his sigh. That’s when they turn a corner and see Soap stumbling into the hallway, his arms held out as he blindly feels for the walls.

Even though the lights are slightly dim and his eyes are wide open, his pupils are completely contracted. “Where the hell are you!”

“Right here,” has Soap immediately narrowing in on Ghost as the shorter steps toward him. “Care to explain what happened?”

“I was trying to make better weapons,” Soap explains almost nonchalantly, a far cry from the fear only a few moments ago. He takes another step toward Ghost as he rapidly blinks, narrowing his eyes in the hopes it’ll help, clearly much more confident now that he knows his squad is in reach.

Gaz snorts as Ghost gives an unimpressed look. “What kind of weapons?”

Soap’s outstretched arms curl back into himself as if his searching hands were whacked away despite still being several feet away. “You know, weapons…”

“Uh flash bang,” Gaz coughs.

“I might be blind but I’ll still beat your ass, Gaz!” Soap snaps.

“What’s wrong with Soap?” Price asks as his stilts shift, clearly unsure with how unsure Soap’s steps are and yet neither Ghost nor Gaz are doing anything to guide his searching hands. Like hell Ghost will be helping their resident idiot. “What does bl-inde mean?”

Soap pouts as Gaz tries to play charades with Price by waving a hand over his face. “He can’t see. It’s temporary, and it’s not the first time he’s done it.”

They all wait for Price to absorb the information as Soap continues to try and grab someone for an anchor. His attempts are unsuccessful now that Ghost is silent and purposefully stepping out of range of Soap’s arms once he gets close enough.

Suddenly, Soap’s hands find a target. Price to be exact as the spider springs forward with an angry chitter. Rather than forming a vice grip around the spider until his sight comes back, Soap immediately backpedals once he realizes it’s neither of his human teammates.

It’s too late as Price’s stilts cage Soap in, the man’s eyes growing wide. “You mean to tell me that despite being able to ustjda to light, you broke it?”

“No, I didn’t break anything!” Soap quickly tries to soothe. He blindly aims pitiful looks toward Ghost and Gaz in the hoped they help him while he’s blind and in the clutched of their captain, but they always seem to land a few too many inches to the left and right. “I’m fine, everything’s fine!”

“You lost your sight,” Price buzzes, the words themselves seeming to vibrate as his pinchers move quicker than usual. “You have lipups.”

Ghost is slowly catching onto what Price is truly upset about, though the word jealous might be more accurate. Soap isn’t, though, and continues digging his own grave. “Or maybe I don’t, who knows!”

Price hisses before latching his fangs onto Soap’s arm, eliciting a high pitched scream from their blinded sergeant. Ghost only watches, borderline board as Gaz respectfully steps aside to let Price drag a lethargically struggling Soap back to the living quarters.

“Next time he’s working on any weapon, let me know.”

“Yes, sir,” Gaz replies. “Is Price really jealous of how our eyes work?”

He would rather assist his humans in planning how to properly handle such an obstacle that, while any Idiothele worth their silk can scale effortlessly, a webless, stitless, clawless awkward mass of flesh would have more than a hard time getting over. But when his superiors demand his attention he has to give it, no matter how much it irks him how meddlesome they can be.

At least it’s Laswell rather than someone else who would keep him from a mission until a report is made, and she’s been kind enough to let him have an entire cycle filled with several missions before finally making the demand he has to fill in the blanks.

It doesn’t mean he’s happy about it. Not when the ‘we’ is something that could easily end with all three of his slings getting terminated due to their status as humans. Something he will not allow to happen.

“Up you go, Gaz.”

“Why am I first, Soap’s heavier than me.”

“And ye want Ghost ta be the one throwin’ your ass up?”

“Fine, but if Soap yanks me over the edge-“

Price forces himself to turn away from the quiet voices arguing behind him even as his stilts twitch with the want to join them, focusing back on the blinking com waiting for an answer as he contemplates how he can ensure those conversations don’t meet an untimely end.

“I’ll give a full report after this mission.”

“Copy.”

His stilts twitch thoughtfully as he quickly cuts his coms before switching the frequency to the one only his team will be using from this point forward. As much as Laswell has been a valuable asset and has numerous times hauled him out of a collapsing tunnel whenever he went against direct orders or failed to report something the council never would’ve agreed to in the first place, having one of the deadliest species in the galaxy assisting in sensitive ops would end in her terminating his contract, at least until his squad has been apprehended.

Over his curled, dead body. Maybe he’ll never send a report and simply go rouge.

Shaking his head to focus on the mission at hand, Price turns to join his team regarding their current predicament. Freezes when he sees nor senses a single human, none the less three.

“Ghost?” he asks, half bewildered and half concerned. He would expect Gaz and Soap to leave him behind, but not the lautenent that follows his orders and refuses to join the other two on any pranks when on a mission.

Taking two long steps toward the wall, his head swivels as he tries to find a moving shadow in the distance, or a clue as to something going wrong and ending with his team having to leave the area as quickly as possible.

That’s when he senses something directly above him. Before he can spring away, it grabs his stilt poised high and ready to strike.

He nearly whips around to bite into the offending limb, intent on flooding who dares think it will catch him off guardd with paralyzing venom. But then he realizes it’s familiar, with five fingers covered in fabric that had been named as a ‘glove’.

Price doesn’t struggle as he’s suddenly hoisted into the air, simply curling into a ball to make it easier to maneuver him, trusting Ghost wouldn’t have done such as thing if he wasn’t confident he could handle the Idiothele’s weight.

And the human doesn’t falter once, other hands joining to help the spider steady himself on top of the wall as Ghost none too gently pats a stilt, Gaz and Soap flash wide smiles.

“Glad ya could join us, captain!”

“How was the flight?”

The last question goes directly over Price’s head as he simply stares. “How?”

Soap’s head tilts. “How what?”

Price glances over the side of the wall at the drop waiting below that could severely hurt one of his slings if they were to fall. “How did you climb up here?”

“Uh, together?” Gaz begins, sounding almost as confused as Price is. “It was nothing special, we’ve done it plenty of times before. I got thrown up first, then I helped Soap up, and we tag-team for Ghost.”

“Cause he’s so fuckin’ heavy.”

“I’ll let you throw me up next time, Johnny.”

Price looks between each of his slings as he slowly realizes just how resourceful they are. So much so they managed to find a way up a wall over twice their height. Which means he is in for a world of trouble if they decided to do this again without a mission involved.

“Think you’re quicker than me?”

Ghost snorts as Soap immediately offers a hand. One he’s learned is meant for making a deal. “I bet we are. Meet you up at the top, captain? Loser admits the other species is superior?”

Price shakes hands with his most energetic sling. “Meet you at the top, boys.”

He plans to lose just to watch this teamwork in action. He is more than happy to admit humans are superior, especially when they have so little, yet manage to make the impossible happen.

“Threetwoone go!”

Only a few, though. And honestly, he wishes Price would just bite off Soap’s hand if it finally means the shorter will learn about consequences. 

As it goes, it seems like he won’t have such luck. Which is a shame. Soap would’ve preferred getting his hand bitten off than an ‘accidental’ bullet hole. Ghost is partial to the latter option. 

With the word ‘low’ logged away for future reference, Price continues. “We need to dock. Small planet coming up. We’ll-“ 

Suddenly, the spider postures. Not in the way a human does whenever they incorrectly think they can take on Ghost and win, but something reminiscent of the spiders he’d find on the ground while army crawling through grass. A sad more pathetic than threatening display that always earned a quick death via the slap of a hand. 

Ghost blinks, trying to figure out why Price is poised to attack, only to see the spider has turned to the side. Following him, the lieutenant holds back a long sigh at the sight of Soap stretched out along the table, fingers just grazing Price’s unattended mug. 

There’s a moment of silence in which Soap gives a cheeky grin. It’s only given a brief consideration before the spider seems to shrug himself, turning back to Ghost as if nothing happened. 

Soap has found another game, hasn’t he. 

“It’s dry and flat- heat. Desert,” Price corrects when Ghost doesn’t seem to respond. It’s not because he’s unfamiliar with the words, however, it’s because he’s concentrating on Soap. Watches as his sergeant slowly begins to pull the mug closer. “You’ll need-“ 

Price whirls on Soap again when the man starts to sit back down, the mug ‘close’ enough to take his seat back. It was enough movement to earn another flash of bared fangs and long spears poised to stab him at any moment. 

Again, Price shakes it off, though this time with a low chitter that makes the hair on the back of Ghost’s neck stand on end. 

“So you’ll need- Soap for othreM iklS’s skae!” 

Soap takes a sip of Price’s tea. 

Ghost doesn’t say anything as the spider pounces on the cheeky bastard, only shakes his head as the two sprint down the corridor. As he waits for the chase to end, either for Price to drag Soap back completely paralyzed or for Price to come back empty handed due to Soap locking himself in a room somewhere, Ghost snags the abandoned mug to claim for himself. 

This time, however, is different. His human hasn’t gone silent to creep around the ship. Gaz didn’t say he was going to check on something before disappearing. One minute Price had a looming figure keeping close as they navigate through a market on a familiar desert planet, the next he’s simply gone.

Price hadn’t thought to attach a web to Gaz even while outside the ship. The human had been the one to stowaway on Price’s ship. Had begged to be allowed to stay. Has earned the trust to not be watched every second due to his habit of turning to Price for permission before doing something as simple as pausing to fix his attire.

His stilts shift with an unsettled click at the memory of Gaz removing pieces of himself. Price will never get over the idea of armor perfectly fitted to someone’s body that moves with them. Not even his plating moves seamlessly with his movements.

But that’s something he can pick apart like a restless nest watcher later. Now he needs to find his human. His silent, deadly, cautious human who never leaves his side.

Price chitters half as a warning to not be interrupted during his current mission, and half as a reprimand to himself for not realizing something was wrong. He should’ve noticed the moment Gaz disappeared, and now he’s trying to follow a trail that has already grown cold.

…except for a waving branch near a group of trees, and the very faint sounds of his human singing a haunting howl.

Price quickly ducks through the foliage, his stills raised in preparation for a fight. He’s completely silent as he navigates over uneven terrain, only needing to lift himself over a particularly difficult section. He tries not to think about what could’ve possibly bested a human. What kind of creature could not only take a deathworlder by surprise, but drag them across ground not most species finds easy to navigate.

“loHy stih s’ti yuo!”

Price’s stilts lock before they spring him forward, bursting out of bright purple leaves and into a nauseatingly bright clearing of grass. His secondary eyes close in relief at sight of Gaz alive only a lung away.

He tenses in preparation for death when he realizes the form standing to the side is another human. And what is currently trying to strangle Gaz to death is yet another one.

The sight of a closed fist he has learned to mean nothing but danger raising with the intent to hit Gaz, a hiss erupts out of Price with the promise of a long and painful death as he lunges forward. He tackles the rouge human, sending both of them tumbling through the grass.

“Wait-!”

Price’s stilts stop his momentum, a well placed stab into the soft ground allowing him to flip midair so he lands on his primary legs. He’s received a bit if damage, and he will be in pain for a few days, but he’s ready to make another attack as his target seems to flail.

But then it’s standing up as it crouches to show it’s ready to counter whatever comes next. Price didn’t need to be around Gaz for a while to know how a human looks when they’re hungry for blood. Not the way the bared death and fierce expression send a message clearer than any other.

He will most likely be torn limb by limb. But he’d rather get caught in a fire vent then let Gaz get killed by another human. Not under his watch.

“opaS wait!”

Price’s attention falters momentarily, panic crawling up him like he’s on watch duty with an unruly sling. Despite the apex predator waiting for the perfect opportunity to kill him, he looks for Gaz.

His limbs shift when he sees the other human, changing his path to where Gaz is being held back, kept away from his savior almost effortlessly. That’s when he realizes Gaz is smaller than both of them.

That’s when something grabs him as he’s slammed into the ground, limbs ten times stronger than his own wrapped around his primary stilts as he’s squeezed.

Price shrieks a hateful curse as his secondary curl in to strike at the human’s vulnerable back before it has time to finish the job.

“Price no!”

The Idiothele freezes at the desperate scream. The human wrapped around him in a death grip seems to do the same thing.

“They’re friends, don’t kill them! opaS tel mih og!”

It’s completely silent as both Price and the human being labeled as a ‘friend’ wait for the other to make the first move. Finally, slowly, the human carefully sits up as it frees Price, lifting those gangly limbs up in a familiar display of trying to offer a truce.

Price chitters a painful groan as he sits up, but he keeps his stilts tucked away. “Gaz, what the bloody hell is going on.”

“Gaz whta teh fuck!”

The human in question races over, apparently free to do as he pleases. Price fights hard not to react to the approaching form, the one /very similar/ to the one that tried to kill him. But as Price skids to a stop next to him, there’s a hand being offered to help the Idiothele up that’s immediately accepted.

“Uh, nogl ystor,” Gaz murmurs with a rough pat on Price’s back. He winces as the rough handling earns an unimpressed hiss, the other human suddenly becoming very tense. “No, s’it koay, eh wn’ot urth su. They won’t hurt you, Price, they were just trying to protect me.”

The human’s face twists into an expression can’t mean anything expect anger as Price slowly processes the Common being spoken to him.

He can’t help the confused attempt to grab the contradiction being weaved with his stilts. “Protect you?”

Gaz barks out an odd sound. “The fighting’s a human thing. I’ll explain when we’re on the ship.”

On the ship…the other two humans are coming with them aren’t they? One of which hurt Gaz and tried to kill Price while the other simply watched.

But maybe talking about it like it’s no big deal will make it lose its bite. “I like to think it’s always north.”

Gaz gives a snort, and Soap can perfectly picture the smirk. “Is it like the north star or something?”

“I like to think it is.”

“The north star isn’t even north anymore,” Ghost grumbles, standing in the corner of his cell directly across from them. “We’re too far into space for it to be proper navigation.”

Soap blinks. “That hurts my head.”

“More than being abducted by aliens?” Gaz asks with a poor attempt of an airy tone. His voice shakes too much to make it a casual joke. The threat of the door to their room opening looming ominously above their heads constantly.

And speak of the devil, as if summoned by the fear, the empty wall disappears to reveal four heavily armed figures. It’s not the uncanny way they move that’s sends shivers up their spines, or the claws they’ve learned to hold poison meant to make them feel numb.

All three of them tense as the long poles being held suddenly spark with electricity, a silent declaration one of them will be dragged into the dark hallway waiting to swallow them whole. As they advance forward, Soap’s heart skips a beat as they decide between which one they want to take today. Then it drops when they stop in front of Gaz’s cell.

For some reason, despite this happening at least once a day if not more, this time terror grips him as the need to get to Gaz overwhelms him as he lunges for the front of his cell. “Don’t touch him!”

Soap rams against the door, desperate to get out and help Gaz take the bastards down. He hears his fellow sergeant fighting tooth and nail, hears Gaz scream as he’s electrocuted. It makes something break inside him as he throws himself again and again against the wall as he tries and fails to break it down he needs to break it down he can’t let them do this he can’t lose Gaz.

“Soap.”

“Get away from him!” Soap roars. He kicks at the cell’s opening, the frustratingly solid ‘door’ that only disappears when a password is typed in on the outside not even reacting, simply taking the abuse without so much as a rattle, completely devoid of locks to pick or hinges to snap.

They don’t so much as glance at him, simply dragging Gaz away, his teammate groaning in pain and unable to fight.

“Gaz!”

“Johnny.”

The very measured and calm snap of his name makes him jolt. Just like that, Gaz vanishes along with the other figures. The piercing bright lights are replaced by a reassuring dim glow from a dying fire. There’s something at his back, but it’s warm and alive.

Soap breathes heavily as he takes in his surroundings. Remembers he’s no longer in a cell, frustratingly so close to the rest of his teammates and yet impossible to reach. Ghost is right behind him, sitting back to back so he could keep watch while Soap slept. Tried to sleep after several days of neither of them being able to get proper rest.

Wiping a tired hand over his face, Soap reaches for the water before freezing when he sees his hand is held in a tight fist, the object he holds impossible to see save for the chain draped almost delicately over his wrist.

A dogtag. One he refuses to let go. One he clenches tightly as he battles over wanting it to have a very specific name.

“Same one?” Ghost asks.

Soap swallows thickly. “Aye.”

His lieutenant gives a noncommittal grunt. Soap elbows the living brick as hard as possible. “Here’s out there, we just have to find him.”

“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think so.”

“Yes you would,” Soap grumbles as he crosses his arm, shifting to get comfortable despite the extremely uncomfortable backrest that Ghost makes. He’s only given one warning jab with an elbow in retaliation. “You can’t live without me.”

“I beg to defer.”

“Sure LT,” he murmurs as he closes his eyes again with a silent prayer he’ll be able to sleep without dreaming. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Because they both know that really is the reason why Ghost hasn’t commandeered the first ship he could find and drove it straight back to Earth. He wouldn’t be able to leave Soap behind. Soap and his possibly foolish hope Gaz is still alive.

Not small enough to get kindly trapped under a cup to take it outside. Not a literal speck on the floor or ceiling that’s unnoticeable at a glance. It stands as tall as him if not taller and therefore capable of wrapping him up in webs like a wingless fly to snack on later. 

So he hates the spider. Hates that he doesn’t know what it’s trying to say even after being given a book to learn ‘common’. Hates that it seems to completely disappear only to reappear when it wants to. 

Hates that it doesn’t know what to do with him, either. 

Gaz won’t lie, he knows they both hate each other. He doesn’t like the fact he could be bitten at any moment and learn just how agonizing a death via venom is or be faced the horrifying end of being slowly eaten alive, but the spider has reasons to expect whatever sharp or heavy object is in their general facility to suddenly be used as a weapon to kill it. 

He won’t, not when that would guarantee leave him to either die via a flaming death as the ship crashes into the side of the nearest planet, or to starve after floating in space for too long because he doesn’t know how to operate the craft he’s in. 

But he saw the panic when he was first found in the storage bay. The fearful skittering away when he accidentally sneaks up on it. He may not be an expert in spider body language or in alien spider body language, but he knows the look of a trapped animal ready to defend itself at all costs all too well. Had worn it himself a few times during ops. 

Gaz looks through the book he’s been staring at for several days straight. At least, he’s pretty sure it’s been several days since he stowed away on the spider’s ship. They haven’t landed on a planet since they took off from the one he crash landed on after escaping certain death, and the lights stay on a constant dim lighting without getting brighter or turning completely off to mimic a day passing. 

He actually doesn’t know if that’s because aliens that travel in space don’t find a need for that kind of thing, or the spider just doesn’t care for it. Maybe the spider doesn’t have a proper day from where it’s from. He has yet to see it actually sleep- bloody hell it doesn’t sleep. 

Shivering at the newfound and disturbing information, he focuses on a particular page with a picture of what he’s pretty sure is a piece of paper. Thank God the book he’s pretty sure is meant for children speaks the word as well as shows the spelling for it, because despite it acting a lot like his own books from grade school in learning the alphabet, he can’t translate the symbols into sounds. He needs a proper tutor for that, and the spider has made it clear Gaz needs to figure it out on his own. 

“Pauper,” he murmurs to himself, trying to commit the symbol, image, and the robotic voice to memory. “Pauuu, no, pap. Paper. Paper.” 

Great, he’s got that one down. “Pe-e-en. Pennn, pen, pen!” 

God, Soap would be making fun of him right about now for not immediately getting each word down. As if his fellow sergeant wouldn’t be just as slow as him learning an alien language. Knowing Gaelic and being bilingual doesn’t mean he’s automatically going to be good at learning another language from space. 

And Ghost would make fun of both of them for even attempting to learn- 

Gaz snaps the book shut as he stares at nothing, shutting his mind down to completely close off the thoughts attempting to overwhelm him. 

He can’t think about them. Not when he doesn’t know if they were going to be killed like he was. Not when he most likely will never know if they managed to escape, if they’re dead or alive, if they’ll ever make it to Earth. 

He can’t think about that. Just focus on the cold floor beneath him. On the chilled air around him. On something gently tapping on the wall. 

…wait. 

“Gaz?” sends a shiver down his spine as his name sounds more like a haunting hiss. “Okay?” 

Gaz blinks before he focuses back on his surroundings of a small ship owned by a spider, his eyes flicking toward a doorway where said owner currently stands looking unsure. “Uh, ahem, yeah. Yeah, okay.” 

The spider’s long legs that stretch above its shoulders twitch, and Gaz can’t help tensing at the thought of it springing forward in order to skewer him. “n’toD evebeli ouy, atme.” 

Gaz glances down at the book at the last ‘word’ spoken, trying to remember if there’s anything that sounds like hisses and insect clicks. Nothing comes to mind, so it might be the spider’s own language. Like how its name is an odd click in the back of the throat. 

“Okay,” Gaz shrugs. He hasn’t found the word for ‘how do I get back to Earth’ or ‘how to I find my squad’ just yet. “Just learning new words.” 

The spider seems to focus on the book as Gaz lifts it up to show what he’s talking about knowing anything said in English won’t be understood. There’s a long moment as he’s simply stared at before the spider’s making a clicking sound, and holy shit that makes his skin crawl. 

“Help?” 

Gaz hesitates. “You help?” 

One of the long legs twitches. Oh, oh that’s how it nods that’s so weird Soap would totally get a kick out of that. “Help you.” 

Gaz freezes. Blinks a few times. “Uh, s-sure?” 

The spider walks forward slowly, acting like it’s afraid it’ll spook Gaz into running. Which, fair, there have been times when he’s jumped a solid foot in the air when it’s just appeared around a corner. It makes sure no to get too close, folding its extra limbs in as it sits down a few feet away. 

“eW eedn ot sttra ithw fdoo.” 

Wait, Gaz has heard that last one before. “Fude, fude, fude…” 

Flipping to one of the pages, he presses a few buttons until a familiar sound emits. He then puts the book on the ground to point to the picture of what he thinks is a piece of fruit, an odd bug, and what might be a piece of meat? “Food?” 

The spider’s legs twitch, and then it motions to its fangs. “Yes, food. athW od uoy tae?” 

Oh thank God he thought it was threatening him for a second. “Anything you eat, really.” Then he freezes when he remembers seeing the spider rip a head off a bug. “Not bugs.” 

The spider manages to convey confusion despite having no human facial structure. “What?” 

Gaz quickly flips to the next page for what he now realizes was put there to help pick out specific food items. “Ug, bug. No bug. Fruit, me- meat…is that a plant? Okay, no bug. Yes fruit and meat.” 

The spider chitters in what Gaz hopes is for something good and not an ‘oh shit’ type of deal because there’s nothing but bugs on the ship to eat. 

“Okay,” allows him to sigh in relief. “No bug. Hrynug?” 

Gaz’s face twists into confusion before glancing down at the book. Taps on one of the pictures he has no idea what it’s supposed to mean. Unfortunately it’s the same word the spider said. “Hungry, what hungry?” 

The spider chitters. “Hungry rof food.” 

Gaz flips back to what he thinks is teeth eating something. “Eat?” 

“No. You eat food. Hungry, want food?” 

Oh, it meant hungry. Does he want to eat. “Yes, hungry.” 

The spider makes a quiet sound, and Gaz isn’t sure if he’s being laughed at. Its legs twitch as it stands up, turning toward one of the hallways while keeping one of its multiple eyes in sight. “Come.” 

Gaz immediately moves to obey, standing up with the book in tow, pausing to stretch until he hears a pop of his joints. 

Damn that felt good. Wish there was- 

“Holy shit!” he yelps as he stumbles back, heart in his chest as a hand reaches for his holster at the sight of the spider right in front of him, within arm’s reach and well within range for the long legs to stab him. 

His searching hand finds nothing because he doesn’t have a gun. But the spider has gone motionless with its legs suddenly tucking back. 

“Sorry,” it apologizes. “Okay? You hurt?” 

Gaz’s chest heaves as his mind tries to figure out what the hell just happened. “What?” 

“You hurt?” the spider asks. “You popped.” 

‘Popped’ sounds more like the actual sound being copied, but he understands what’s being said, quick to hold out his hands and shake his head as he backs away from the terrifying creature much too close for comfort. 

“I’m okay! No hurt! Pop okay, I pop!” 

The spider seems to shiver. “You pop.” 

Gaz swallows. “S-Sometimes.” 

It stares at him bewildered. Finally, it takes a step back as it assesses him closely. “Food.” 

Hopefully that doesn’t mean he’s now food. “Yes, hungry. Food please.” 

The spider leads him toward what he’s gathered to be the kitchen as Gaz keeps a white knuckled grip on the book. It’s a decent size, he should be able to block a stabbing leg. Or the sharp fangs. Or knock its head off with a good swing if he gets a good hit in.