B l a k e

Lia smiled back at Blake, not knowing how they felt. The blonde didn’t notice anything wrong, so she didn’t ask. “Okay! Well, what movie should we watch? Did you have anything in mind? We could just binge watch a show if not.” Lia thought putting on a horror movie would made a great excuse for cuddling, but she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to watch one.

Lia was a bit taken back by their statement, as it was said out of nowhere. No one mentioned Robin. She smiled small and nodded while looking at Blake, quite unsure of what to say. She didn’t want to say or do anything that made her seem happy about that. She was, but it would be weird to show that. Robin was dead, and Lia didn’t want to give off any signs of disrespect. “I guess we should just stay inside, then. I’m lazy anyways.” The blonde chuckled nervously, “Any ideas? We could bake something.. or watch a movie. We cold build a fort and watch a movie?” Her eyes lit up at this, she hadn’t made a fort since she was a child, her and her dad would make them all the time. Truthfully, Lia loved being goofy and doing childish things.

Blake just wanted her to respond or react, but she didn’t She didn’t even acknowledge it and they didn’t get why. For a minute they were left confused and overthinking everything, blinking to them self in silence. Maybe she really just didn’t want to talk about it, maybe she knew where it was going and didn't’ want to go there. They nodded once, without saying anything at the idea, tugging a smile on. 

Lia’s head immediately snapped back to look at Blake once they spoke, “What–” she looked at the table before them, “Oh, yeah.” She laughed nervously, sitting up and moving herself away from Blake, though she didn’t want to. The blonde took a quick sip of her tea, before leaning back on the couch and looking at them, “Wanna do something? We could stay here or go out, whichever you prefer.”

Blake watched Lia pulling away and felt a strange emptiness beside them. They hadn’t felt like this about anyone since... well, since Robin, and it was just a confirmation of what had been floating around since they’d met her. When she sat back into her chair, Blake had already made up their mind that they didn’t want to leave this room, they weren’t up for the great outdoors as it was. “I don’t love her anymore, you know. I did, but I don’t.” It might have been completely off the topic but they just felt like it needed to be said. 

Lia blushed upon feeling Blake’s lips press onto her forehead. She was at a loss for words, because she was shocked, and because she was so content. The blonde closed her eyes, humming quietly. As much as she wanted something more to happen, she thought it would be bad timing. 

The older one sighed, pressing their lips together almost immediately after in thought. They wondered what this feeling was supposed to mean, and how Lia felt about it. She’d pretty much confirmed that she was into guys but hadn’t said anything about girls. They felt like they were way over thinking this but they couldn't help it, it was all that was in their mind now. The glanced over at the table, reminding them self of the cups sitting there. “Aren’t you gonna drink your tea?” 

Lia could feel her heart pounding in her chest, so much, that even they could probably hear her heart beat. But how did they care about her, exactly? She wasn’t going to get her hopes up, but the blonde was happy. “I care about you, too.” She smiled, before giving Blake’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

Lia blushed, unsure if holding their hand was acceptable but she did it anyway. The blonde looked up at Blake, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, “Yeah..?” she asked, they normally never said her name lke that before.

Blake wasn’t usually the shy kind of person, they were confident in their actions and applied them with purpose, but they also realized that Lia was stressed out right now and they’d caused it, so they weren’t going to push. A little smile crossed their lips. “I just want you to know that I really care about you, that’s all.” 

“Me too.” The blonde smiled as they rested their head on top of hers. Lia could honestly be like this forever with them and have no complaints. She let out a content sigh, before reaching out to take Blake’s hand and intertwine her fingers with theirs. 

There was that feeling again, right in the pit of their stomach, making them question everything. Maybe they were just feeling like this because she was the only one who would ever be okay with what she’d done? Blake clenched their jaw, looking down at their hands. “Lia..?” 

“I just..” she looked up at them, “I don’t know.. No, that I’m not scared of you.” Lia blushed, noticing them looking into what almost felt like her eyes, and she looked down. “I know it’s weird, but I’m not.” She wanted to tell them the reason why, but she couldn’t bring herself to. 

A strange feeling hit Blake in the gut, one they hadn’t got around Lia before. They kept staring until she looked away, which is when their mind decided it would be okay for them to breathe again. For some reason they felt the need to rest their head down on to of hers, closing their eyes. “I’m glad you aren’t.” 

The girl closed her eyes in content, happy with they way they were positioned. She was always comfortable when in Blake’s arms. Lia then shrugged, before laughing quietly, “You’ve done some scary things, not going to lie, obviously including…that. The very first moment we met I was a bit intimidated, as well..” Lia grinned, remembering the exact moment, “but no.. I don’t know..” 

They couldn’t help but frown, pulling back slightly to look down at the blonde’s face and gave them a little nudge. “But no what?” They were watching her expression, looking for any sign of a change but the only think that they noticed was the way her eyes seemed to sparkle at them. They’d never noticed anything like that before. 

Lia couldn’t help but smile at their sincerity. She knew Blake wasn’t like that, and she would never judge. “It’s totally okay, I promise. Thank you for apologizing, but you didn’t need to.” The blonde assured, before chuckling, “Just because I’m a rich blonde who’s never touched a drug in her life, doesn’t mean I’m going to judge you, because I couldn’t. Not you.” She then blushed as a smile played upon her lips. Lia knew she was probably getting too sappy, but she couldn’t help it, it was who she was– Especially towards Blake.

Blake opened their mouth to protest that they did need to apologize but then Lia continued, and it only made them disagree more. “I- No, I wasn’t saying that.” They stumbled over their own words, trying their best to reassure her. “I never said that, I didn’t mean that you were- Uh.” The older one stopped, unsure of how to explain it to her. Did she really think they’d been accusing her of that? “I don’t think you were judging me.” They finally settled on. “Not that you shouldn’t, but I wasn’t saying that you were.” 

“About the murder..?” Lia asked, her voice growing quiet at the word murder. The blonde sat next to Blake on the couch, thinking of what to say, or ask. She knew the murder was an accident, she knew about their argument with Robin, and she knew they were in love with Robin. She really didn’t want to hear more details of Blake and Robins relationship. “Is there something you feel I should know?” Lia furrowed her eyebrows.

They hadn’t really thought about that. Was there? Is there something that they should be telling Lia right at this moment? There was probably more than one thing. “Well...” Blake frowned to them self, taking a moment before turning to face the blonde beside them. “I wanted you to know that I don’t usually do stuff like that. Not the murder- I mean yes the murder, but the drugs. I don’t, and it was stupid. And I’m sorry.” 

Lia was surprised when Blake revealed the baggy. She was happy that they trusted her enough to do this, it honestly made them blush a bit. She took it, while nodding and returning a smile. Lia got up from the couch, “I’ll be right back.” The blonde walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind her before opening up the bag and lifting up the toilet seat. She dumped the remains in the toilet, the white powder dissolving in the water. Lia smiled to herself before throwing out the bag and walking back to the couch. “Done.” she said.

Blake was more that relieved to see it gone, sitting in silence until Lia came back and confirmed that she’s tossed it. “Thank you, really.” It was getting a little easier to smile, but it still felt like there was something in the way. The elephant in the room, one they weren’t sure how to address. “So... Did you have any other questions?” 

Lia really felt bad, maybe saying they were to blame was a bit harsh, but it was true. That was the last thing she was going to say about the matter, she wasn’t mad at Blake and couldn’t be. The blonde furrowed her eyebrows in confusion whilst meeting Blake’s gaze. Lia then nodded her head, “Yeah, of course. What is it?” She was still puzzled, but willing to do what they wanted her to do.

Blake leant back, digging down into their pocket and pulling out the baggy with the remaining white power in it. “Can you get rid of this for me?” Part of them wasn’t entirely sure they’d do it them self, they’d always had a problem with letting go of things, drugs weren’t an exception. “I trust you more than I do myself.” They tried their best to smile at her but honestly weren’t sure how well it was working. 

Lia added in the sugar and honey once receiving an answer, trying not to add in too much. She noticed them go over to the couch, and once she was finished preparing the tea she followed. The blonde held both cups in each hand, giving them theirs before sitting down beside them. Lia set her tea on the coffee table before her, soon focusing her eyes onto Blake’s legs which were still shaking crazily. Lia rested her hand on their thigh in attempt to make them stop, not as if it was annoying her, but to try and comfort Blake. “This is hard for me to take in..” the seventeen year old finally admitted, “Students, including me, have been upset and worried sick since Robin’s disappearance..It sucks that this has caused so many people pain, and it sucks more that you’re the one who’s to blame.”

Blake took the cup from Lia and immediately took a sip. They weren’t even in the mood for tea, they just wanted something to focus on, something to hold. Paret of them felt unaware that Lia was sitting there but as soon as she touched their leg, it stopped shaking and they froze, side eyeing her. They felt their stomach drop, which was weird. 

The blonde filled a mug up with steaming hot water, before placing a teabag in and letting it set, “Would you like honey or sugar?” Lia asked, taking the sugar out of the cabinet above her and setting it by the cup, awaiting their response. The more she thought about being in the same room as a murderer – though Lia didn’t want to call them that, the more she became shocked and the situation felt real. The blonde could never hate them, but knowing Blake took a person’s life, regardless of how it happened, would now always stick with Lia every time she laid her eyes on them. Obviously, if she had known this before they became close, things would have been different, but Lia was happy they were apart of her life. After yesterday, she truly knew that regardless of her feelings, she couldn’t leave Blake alone.

“Yeah, yeah sure.” They agreed, not really caring what was in it. They weren’t in the mood to be difficult right now. As Lia continued putting the tea together, Blake figured that they should probably sit down and turned to look over at the couch. It was different to the one in their own dorm which seemed strange at first but they took a seat on it anyway, pressing their hands together over their knees. Their knee kept jogging up and down, their nervousness taking over again. They just needed to calm down and breathe, but it was so difficult when all they could think about was Lia suddenly realizing what they had done and rejecting them. 

“Of course.” Lia nodded, while beginning to move her hand away from their back. The blonde’s eyes averted to the tea that’d been sitting on the counter since before Blake arrived, “Would you like anything to drink or eat?” she asked, “I just made tea, though I could make coffee if you’d like.” Lia walked over to her cup, taking a sip before looking back at them. 

They were surprised that she wanted them to stay but they weren’t going to say no, they didn’t particularly want to be alone right now. Blake nodded, letting out a quite “sure.” in reply to Lia, finally looking back up at her. “Tea is fine.” They felt a little awkward. This should have been a bigger deal, it shouldn’t have been so easy for her to forgive them.