Babel On

Chicago, 1893

           The group began walking through the fair admiring all the wonderful things that they had never seen before.  All around them were the wonderfully white colored buildings with the newly invented spray paint that was sure to change the future of paining they thought.  As they continued walking the 600 acres of the Chicago World’s Columbian Exposition, AKA Chicago World’s Fair, they saw the work that Elias Disney had been apart of as his son Walt sat in wonder of the creation of such a land.  The group was able to see all the fair in its glory thankfully because of the amazing lighting that created such a safe environment that people weren’t used to, due to Edison’s advice on which light bulbs to use of course.  Finally they walked up to the famous structure that George Ferris had been working on to top the Eifel Tower from the last world fair in Paris.  They watched as this big wheel carried passengers in a full rotation, giving them a full view of the fair at the top of this wheel. They could go see the foreign girls who do the new dancing with their bellies, or go inside all of the newly designed buildings full of exhibits or they could try the huge range of cultural foods available including a brand new snack called Cracker Jack and the beer everyone was loving that was sure to win the blue ribbon.  The group didn’t seem to worry about the failing economy back outside of the fair or the families that were falling apart or the missing people that had been mysteriously disappearing around the fair.  The fair took these thoughts away and the people loved it. The fair attendance continued to grow regardless of all the things that were against it.  The people wanted an escape, the fair was the perfect place.

Cypress, 2016

           He walked around looking at all the gorgeous places that stood around him, mesmerized.  On the left was the screen containing all the latest and dopest shows he loved, and if you knew how to work it you can find some other distracting things to watch on that device. Next to that sat the gaming system that let him escape into another world and another character, doing whatever he wished with no consequences in reality.  There was also liquid to drink if you wanted to get out of your body for a bit and live a little.  Mix those with the right things and you could even have a night to forget.  Outside was a garden that provided joy for those that would eat of its fruit.  All of these amenities added up to a nice recipe for escape, if you wanted to use them that way.  He even had a device to connect him to others that were looking for the same destination. Over a hundred years later and it looks like the fair is not only still open but has spread its reach farther than the White City of Chicago.  If you look closely you might just catch yourself there.  

Distract Me

           Our culture and world is full of distractions, reasonably so.  Reality is hard, sometimes really hard for people.  It is easier to check out for an hour, a day, a weekend or months.  With all the things that are available to us it is no wonder that we often find ourselves checking out of reality.  It’s so weird to me that sitting in silence with my thoughts makes me uncomfortable.  I’ve become so accustomed to getting through life that sometimes it’s hard to figure out how to actually deal with it.  I don’t believe I’m alone in having this feeling but I could be, I’m not saying I’ve learned or stopped this either.  Just a realization that I lean more towards wanted to be distracted then actually sitting in reality.  That can either be somewhere to begin or the beginning of the end, as I write this it sounds pathetic but I know my actions prove it.  I know I’ll probably end up closing this up and getting distracted again, maybe that’s just how life works.

The Fairgrounds are Closed

           Banks were closing left and right, business owners were committing suicide, people were going broke and one of the craziest serial killers, H.H. Holmes, had built a hotel for killing plenty of young women (that’s a story for another time) and yet the fair was still open.  The hope was still there for the people, a hope that there was something still going good in this world.  There was a place that we could go to escape and not have reality actually be reality.  For a moment the group had started to think that the fair was reality, as the other world slowly slipped from thought.  But like all things the fair eventually closed down and reality actually set back in. The people still hoped for something like the White City.  Maybe one day there would really be a place like it.  Maybe there will one day be a place where we don’t have to worry about reality anymore, maybe there will one day be a new reality.  Until then the fair is only in town for so long.

Into the Wild

          A simple couple steps outside the airport in Anchorage, AK was enough to tell me that I wouldn't be making it out on the Stampede Trail this trip. The research I had done before had said this would be a great, if not the best, time to go for this hike but it looks like the weather has other ideas. While possible, the overnight in -15 degree weather did not seem plausible for the two Southern California dudes repping a skate company. Disappointed I put my high school dream back on the shelf for the next time I find myself in Alaska, more prepared and warmer. Something about Christopher McCandless' story always caught my attention. I couldn't tell you whether it's my personality that finds itself obsessive and addictive or if I just thought I'd be cooler if I was more like this guy. Most likely a mixture of both, but either way the point still stands I was attracted to the story and the character. Chalk it up to high school angst but I had a plan to follow this mans steps to the Magic Bus 142 when I finished high school, one that never came to fulfillment. Eight years later as I'm moving I find a letter I had written to myself from high school that my teacher had mailed to me a couple years back. Among many stupid and funny things written on this thing, there was a note that read "If you haven't gone to the Magic Bus yet, GO!" And this is how I have found myself sitting in the car driving in between two huge snow covered beastly mountains. While unable to do the hike to the bus this time I was still able to see a glimpse of the stunningly beautiful world Chris fell in love with.

Escape

          If you haven't read or seen Into the Wild I highly recommend it not just for the entertainment value but the learning experience you get from this man’s journey. A young college graduate with pain from his childhood and family, dissatisfaction with how people treat each other and a disappointment with how the world works decided to invest his time living and seeing the world how he wanted to. Hoofing it all around the country he eventually ends his run from society, and really the pain that it brings, in Alaska where he plans to live off the land for some time. With a sad and ironic turn of events Christopher actually gets what he wants, solitude but with a price. After learning so much from his education, philosophy, reading society and plenty of books he comes to the conclusion that "happiness is most real when shared." One of the last things recorded of his before his lonely death. There is something I think that is relatable to everyone in Chris' story.  Something about leaving society and leaving the unnecessary pain and stress that comes along with it sounds pretty good to the average person I would think.

Easier to Run

          Looking back on the high school me and the me today, I realize that I thought I was unique and pretty rad for being into his story and trying to be like him. But now I realize that's not very unique, most people would love to do that. Obviously not everything about Chris is a universal truth or anything I'm just saying on the surface level most people would love to escape this world, that's why we have so many routes to do it. I still would love to do that, but it's not realistic. At least for me. It started to get me to think what's really more interesting is the opposite, those that see the shittiness of the world and still want to press in and love people. They see how messed up someone can be towards another person and still want to be there to help or do what they can. While these people are very few I'm sure and even if they do feel this way it can be very temporal, fake or one bad day away from disappearing.  Either way the point is it seems more fascinating, at least to me, that someone would love such a screwed up people and place rather than someone abandoning and breaking away from them.

Those That Stay

         In a funny turn of events Alaska was able to provide an experience where I actually was able to see what McCandless learned and see the opposite of how he lived. My brother knew someone who lived out here who openly took us in to their home. I don't know if anyone has been as hospitable to me as they have, without even knowing me. They have bunked us, fed us, entertained us and made us feel very welcomed and barely really knew us. As one who loves to shut people out and remove from society this bewilders me but also brings me happiness. There is something about someone who sees the crooked way of this world and sticks around.  Something interesting about one who sees the pain one brings but loves anyways. Something enticing about one who cares for the screwed up. There is something about one who steps into the wild.

The Last of Us

         As Joel held the body of his gunshot wounded daughter he watched the life leave her body.  An infectious disease had begun to spread turning people into cannibal, zombie like infected people.  The military on edge was taking down any threat they could, mistaking Joel’s daughter for one of the infected.  Joel, now alone, has to navigate through this chaotic world of the infected.  Years later civilization has been dramatically changed as the remaining survivors have huddled together in the hopes that there could be a future.  Joel is now smuggling things outside the quarantine zone for money in this new world, currently smuggling a young teenage girl named Ellie.  As they are on their journey Ellie turns out to have something very interesting about her.  She has been infected but with no symptoms or effects to have shown.  There might be a bigger reason as to why Joel was asked to smuggle this girl to a rebel group looking for a cure.  Ellie just might be the hope for the future of the world, yet to Joel she simply reminds him of the daughter he once had.

Social Justice Fiends

           In the past couple years it seems that a lot of YouTube stars have become obsessed with social justice topics.  Well I guess it would be more proper to say we as a culture have become obsessed with it considering I’ve watched a bunch of these videos.  These videos aren’t necessarily concerned with doing social justice but rather showing how others aren’t interested in it, yet the YouTube star still getting praise for the social justice.  For example, there are videos showing how people are more willing to help someone if they are dressed better and look “normal” as opposed to someone who looks homeless and dressed dirty.  Or there are videos showing how people will avoid conflict like a fight or someone picking on another person because they don’t want to get involved.  Most people in these videos like to just walk by or pretend they don’t see anything.  There is also the most recent one that I saw where someone goes around giving their dog to people to care of because they are going to kill themselves.  The goal was to see who was going to care about the man but really it ended up with most people just wondering what the hell they were going to do with this new dog they just got.  

False Heroes

           So the result is that we see humanity sucks for the most part.  There is usually a hero in each video, the one person who did what they were supposed to. The one who actually tried to help the guy committing suicide, the one who stopped the fight and the one who helped the homeless man.  If there isn’t one of these people then the hero usually becomes the star who made the film, the one supposedly brave enough to show us the truth we all already know. This is usually followed by a self-righteous speech on how we as a people need to step it up and that’s usually the same part that I throw up in my mouth.  These people don’t serve as helpful to us but rather are just guilt creators.  They make these videos and try to guilt trip society into being better.  Guilt tripping is never helpful and never produces real change in people.  Shaming selfish people over the internet is not going to change the world.  Instead of shaming the bad people and rewarding the good people why not reward the bad people too?  Give them grace and love even when they didn’t give it, that kind of impact is what actually stirs a person up to care for the homeless person, the harassed person and the suicidal person.  When shown great grace, great grace pours out.  Well most of the time, right?  The new social justice movement is more of a finger pointer than a social good.

For the Selfish

           Joel pulled the trigger one last time killing the last doctor and drove off with Ellie unconscious still from the surgery in the back seat.  He wasn’t going to let them do that to her.  Of course it was best for the future of the world and Ellie wanted it to happen no matter what, but Joel knew he couldn’t do it.  She reminded him too much of his daughter and he wasn’t about to lose her again.  You see Ellie really does have the cure, the problem is it’s located in her brain. The doctors would have to take the infected part of her brain out, killing her, to get the cure.  Ellie has seen so much loss of her friends and family that she is willing to do this to make things right, but Joel had other thoughts. Joel looks Ellie in the eyes and confirms his lie that there were many others who were unaffected by the infection and the doctors were unable to figure out a cure.  Joel would rather selfishly have Ellie to replace the void of his own loss then have the rest of humanity be saved from this infection. Relate much?  This is the story of the game The Last of Us, which oddly relates to every last one of us.  I find much more satisfaction in a game that gives grace and allows such selfishness then I do in a guy on YouTube pointing his finger at others and me on how we need to be better people.  Grace, while scandalous and offensive, is much more satisfying then the accusations of unfulfilled duties.  If you relate to The Last of Us just know you are like the rest of us and there is plenty of room.

Nicolas Sparks’ Irrationality

          Gus looked down in the box of empty promises in his lap wondering why he ever believed the lies contained in this cardboard box.  He then proceeded to grab each movie and chuck them out the window of the moving car with a rebellious rant about how none of them are true. You see Gus had just picked this box up from his ex’s house, which was a very awkward and upsetting situation for him. But these movies revealed to Gus that he has bought into a fake idea of love and relationships, an idea that doesn’t exist in reality.  Thus when Gus gets his heart broken and his love life doesn’t turn out like he has been taught to think it should, he throws his movies out the window.  This may seem like a random story but it is one that is depicted in the new show on Netflix called Love.  It almost seems like it could be a companion with Master of None considering how relevant and accurate it is on social interactions in our generation.  When I think of movies with irrational expectations of love I can’t help but think of Nicolas Sparks.  He is well known for writing numerous amounts of love stories that have captured the hearts of many people in the world.  So much so that many have been turned into movies and it doesn’t look like it is slowing down with his recent release of what I believe is his 11th film. He creates a world that is almost magical for people, it is a world that provides rescue as one lady has said.  A lot of us know about this magical world, whether we are into Spark’s books and movies we still have an unreal world of romance.  Since I don’t find myself watching these movies often I wanted to examine some of my favorite TV shows to see what kind of lies I’m buying into, below is what I discovered.  

Ross and Rachel

           Friends being released onto Netflix was a very happy moment for me.  I grew up watching my parents watch Friends together and then slowly enjoyed it myself as I got older.  One of the things that really drew me into the show was the relationship between Ross and Rachel.  Now even if you haven’t seen the show you can relate or understand their relationship. It is one that is back and forth breaking up consisting of childish bickering, jealousy, name calling, grudge holding and lots of fights.  We have all been there I’m sure, which is why it is funny to watch.  While they do end up being together at the end of the show, I cant imagine how long it would be until it began again for them considering it’s been going on for about 9 years before that.  Throughout their relationship issues it appears the main one would be holding grudges and digging up the past for each other.  As you watch their relationship fall apart, you see the lie fall apart as well.  Grudges and the past being rubbed in our faces never does anyone any good.  It brings destruction, pain and tears even if there are moments of happiness.  

Jim and Pam

           By far one of my favorite love stories is the story of Jim and Pam on The Office.  Over the numerous amounts of times I have seen each episode I still get excited over Jim and Pam.  As nerdy as that sounds, it probably is.  The thing that draws me, and I think everyone else, into Jim and Pam is that its too good to be true.  It’s too perfect.  Although they have one kind of big fight near the end of the show, it was circumstantial and they recovered quickly.  They don’t have issues with each other for the most part of their relationship, there aren’t repetitive traits that show up bothering each other.  There aren’t grudges that they hold against each other and there isn’t digging up of the past.  While this seems amazing it also rings untrue in real life.  There is always going to be things that piss you off about people, even a significant other.  To imagine that it is going to be always happy is foolish and a set up for disaster.  It is a lie to think that relationships are going to be perfect, with the perfect ending and the perfect partner.  It is also foolish to ignore the flaws and issues within your partner and relationship.  

Peter and Lois

           I found what I thought was the best example in the least expected place.  Thinking through the TV relationships that I see and watch regularly I couldn’t help but think of Peter and Lois on Family Guy.  Now I know that this is an animated TV show and sounds stupid to even think of using them as an example for anything, and maybe it is.  I guess I’ll just let you decide.  But it isn’t difficult to see the long lasting marriage that peter and Lois have endured over years of stupidity on stupidity.  No matter what extremes that Peter takes the family to that week Lois is still there loving him.  What is most interesting is that she doesn’t do it by holding grudges or always bringing the past up to rub in their face.  Of course there are always the famous family guy flashbacks but she doesn’t use this divisively to fight but rather to help.  She also doesn’t do it through ignorance to the stupidity of her husband but actually in spite of it.  The fact that Lois stays around after Peter continuously destroys the house, the bank account and their kid’s brains show that her love is not dependent on the his actions.  It appears in a world of flawed screwed up people that this example might be our best hope.  After all none of us wants our past rubbed in our face or to be treated as flawless when we know the sad truth about ourselves and others.  What we need is a love that looks at our flaws and screw ups without rubbing them in our face or ignoring them but rather graciously takes us as we are.

The Master

           Aziz Ansari has become more and more popular recently. Reasonably so, as I think he is hilarious.  From his Tom Haverford character on Parks and Recreation to his new show that he has created, written and starred in, “Master of None.”  If you haven’t seen it you need to check it out.  The show itself also seems to coincide and bring to life his new book that he has written, “Modern Romance.”  Teaming up with a professional sociologist, Aziz takes on the new dating and relational scene as he examines it in our new technological context.  He not only tells you about the issues and struggles within this new context but is alongside you as he himself tries to piece love together.  Aziz not only prophetically speaks directly into this context but is himself a passenger alongside us.  Anything that sounds remotely smart or any quotes in this post have been taken from his new book, make sure you check it out.  

It’s a Mess

           After reading the new book it’s easy to see how confused this new generation has become with the addition of social media, texting, sexting, tinder and increasing divorce rates to their dating scene. These things, and others, have affected and changed the way we view things like love, sex and marriage.  The average age of first marriage is around the late twenties in the US progressively growing older and older as people are deciding to experience more single life or weigh more options out. Two years after Tinder started it had two billion swipes and twelve million matches a day.  The average user was logging on eleven times per day at seven minutes per session adding up to 1.25 hours a day by the end of 2014.  I think the data speaks for itself but interpret it how you’d like.  There are places in Japan called hostess clubs where men pay women not to have sex with them but to provide an intimate personal service in a romantic way but not sexual.  They basically treat you as a wife or girlfriend would .  One guy, Al, described it this way, “It’s like, I’m lonely, I’m scared of people, I need to vent or just have a drink with someone who will listen to me and not judge me.  They’re paying for the security.  They’re paying not to be rejected.”  I think we all know this feeling, we all have ways of coping with that as well.  Japan also has a place called Soapland, where a guy pays to have a girl put soapy water all over them and slide around on him.  I could mention a lot more about the state of these things but it’s easier to just say it’s a mess. 

Throwing in the Towel

           I don’t bring these things up to look down on culture or people, these are my people and my culture.  I am a part of this not outside of it.  Marriage scares me as well, the easy accessibility to tinder is tempting to me too and the loneliness that leads people to computer screens, hostess clubs and Soapland are in me as well, although Soapland sounds a little nutty. But in the middle of this mess I wonder are we giving up too easily?  Many people my age aren’t interested in settling down, we are more focused on the experience.  Settling down with one person doing the same thing all the time frankly sounds boring in a culture where we have so much new and exciting stuff always happening. There is always something new coming out or something better, we don’t want to miss out on that.  But more importantly I hear the brokenness that has been left from broken marriages.  I have no statistic but it appears to be one of the leading causes of lack of desire for marriage.  I could be wrong though.  Divorce rates have had conflicting reports some saying it’s on the rise some saying its on the decline.  Regardless almost everyone I know has divorced parents and I’m sure you probably have a similar surrounding.  This has given a lack of hope in marriage and in love, at least for a good amount of people. We’ve seen the closest relationships to us fall apart and we don’t want that same path so we throw in the towel.

Is Love Possible?

           This is a natural response that I think makes sense, it truly seems hopeless.  Aziz makes a great point that it seems insane to agree to be with one person forever. Have you met another human?  It’s going to be rough to stay married.  But is there any hope?  I think that our parents might have thrown the towel in too early.  Aziz shows that there are two kinds of states of love in relationships.  There is passionate love where “you and your partner are just going ape shit for each other.”  The dopamine gets flowing in your brain and you are in pleasure mode but it eventually fades away.  Companionate love is kind of the flip, it is less intense but grows strong over time. The idea is that the longer you are with someone the greater the companionate love grows, which is stronger and more enjoyable for both involved, ideally.  Now meet my grandparents and you might have a different story but that’s because this doesn’t naturally happen there is an active part on both individuals to continue to love and show grace to each other.  

Loving the Unlovely

           Aziz concludes that we are all like a Flo Rida song and the more time you spend with us the more you see how special we are. I reject this not only because Flo Rida sucks regardless of how many times you listen to him but also because I think it’s not being honest about people.  Companionate love grows not because we see how special the person is but rather we learn to love the person even though we may not think they are always special.  Companionate love grows because we are continuously loved when we don’t deserve it, when we are unlovable.  Through this is something even more special, it isn’t some cheesy bullshit saying someone is so so special and we just missed it because we didn’t stick around too long but rather someone is so screwed up like we all are and we continued to love them anyways with their baggage and their faults.  This is the love that lasts.  

Airport Atheist

           We live in a world that is surrounded by convenience, whether it be our social media, phones, cars, houses or anything else that is involved in our lives. These things are constantly being updated and changed with the advancement of technology so that we can enhance the convenience of our day-to-day lives.  It is hard to think of situations where we wouldn’t choose convenience over anything else, I find it’s a pretty easy decision for us.  Artist, Childish Gambino puts it best in one of his songs when he says, “airport atheist, only pray when there’s turbulence.”  He speaks into the feeling that we all are familiar with, we tend to lean toward God when it is convenient for us.  This is prevalent in not only my own life but throughout our culture and the church today.  I’m not condemning those that are familiar with this but joining them, I’m just curious how far this goes into the rest of how we view things.

In Just 40 Days

           Lent is known in certain religious circles, predominantly Christian and Catholic, as a time to prepare you for Easter.  It dates possibly all the way back to A.D. 203 and continued to grow as many changes were made to the timing and practices that were done during that time period.  While there is much usage of the number 40 in the bible and Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert there is no support for the practice of Lent in the bible.  Yet this is a highly celebrated time not only by people of faith but of companies looking to make some money.  During Lent you are to fast from eating meat on Fridays, with the exception of fish.  Most fast food places know this time as a great marketing time where they can push new fish items like Carl’s Jr. new Redhook Beer Battered Cod Fish from last year or the always famous Filet-O-Fish.  A spokesman for Long John’s Silver, a seafood chain, said that sales could increase up to 40 percent during this time.  I remember when I used to work at Chick-fil-A our Fridays during this time were slow as well.  Whether or not you celebrate Lent, it is clear that there is a following behind it.

Clean Up Time

           Aside from the fasting from food it has also become custom to give an additional thing up in your life, something you feel you need to cut back on or something that distracts you from Jesus.  This is supposed to result in making you closer to God and gain you some brownie points.  I remember the one time that I celebrated Lent, at least that I can remember, I gave up eating Chick-fil-A.  Now this may not sound like a big deal and it wasn’t but I used to work basically every day and that would be my food for the day, not to mention I was basically addicted for 8 years.  Regardless the point is it never really worked, now maybe im just not spiritual enough but all I wanted was some Chick-fil-A.  Now I get the idea behind creating discipline so that you can be more focused on “better things”, but most of the time this is not the reasoning behind it.  We live in a culture that views Jesus as one pointing his finger down at them wanting them to get their act together, for most that is what this time is for.  Even though for most of us it ends up being like a new years resolution that never came to fruition, Lent is our time to earn our standing back with Jesus.  It’s time for us to regroup and get our life right, getting rid of some stuff in our life that most likely isn’t “approved” of.  Now we can conveniently give something up casually and conveniently feel good because we look good doing it!  

Give Up Giving Up

           Well even though that all sounds like so much fun there is good news, you don’t have to do any of this.  Lent is the complete opposite of the message of Jesus.  Lent says Jesus wouldn’t come to us before we gave something up, the gospel says that Jesus gave himself up before we could even have the chance to ignore him.  Lent says come to Jesus when it is convenient for you, the gospel says Jesus came to you when it wasn’t convenient for him.  Lent says sinners give yourself up for Jesus, the gospel says Jesus gave himself for sinners.  Lent says get your act together, the gospel says Jesus acted for you.  Jesus doesn’t celebrate Lent and thankfully doesn’t treat us the way we treat him.  His life, death and resurrection is given for you not just 40 days out of the year but for the rest of the ages.  Jesus doesn’t withhold for those that are sinners but gives freely.  Jesus is kind of like a Bernie Sanders in the sense that grace is freely given to all people except you don’t pay the cost secretly through your obedience, giving or church attendance but rather the cost is on the giver and it’s been paid.  So instead of giving things up lets look to the one who truly gave something up.  

The Great Escape

         Alcatraz was a prison that was used for the craziest and worst criminals, most of whom had escaped from their previous house of incarceration.  A prison isolated 1.5 miles offshore from San Francisco is guaranteed to have its lower escape rate.  But this 1.5 miles of freezing cold water isn’t something feared by inmate #AZ2403, formerly known as John Paul Scott.  On December 16, 1962 standing by the water with the prison alarm sounding off he begins blowing up his flotation device, blown up gloves that is, so that he can swim his way to shore.  This impossible swim seems more likely to end in defeat as John’s body begins to go numb and into shock, slowly drifting out more towards the ocean rather than the desired shore.  But whether through luck or endurance John reaches the shore underneath the Golden Gate Bridge, the first prisoner known to make an actual escape.

Behind Bars

           Speaking of prisoners a well-known prisoner around the world is pastor Saeed who was arrested and spent over three years in prison in Iran for his faith.  He was recently released along with three other Americans who most of us haven’t heard about.  Probably because they weren’t pastors like the “great” Saeed.  I watched over the time of his publicity as he was paraded around as a hero who was fighting for his faith, which he was, spending time in jail and getting tortured in a foreign country for something you believe in sounds like an intense experience.  I’m not attempting to discount what this man has been through but rather what this man has been made into.  Saeed’s wife recently has come out about abuse that has been going on within the marriage, before and during his time spent imprisoned.  Obviously Saeed and his wife are human there are going to be issues within the marriage and they are going to wrong each other, not an excuse but an understanding that they are flawed humans like the rest of us. It just may appear that Saeed is not the hero we think he is, he was never meant to be.  

Three Years in Prison vs. Martial Abuse

           The church was so excited to talk and show Saeed off, they wanted everyone to support and know about this man of faith fighting for what he believed in.  They didn’t want to show him as a normal person who struggled with life and the same things that we do.  They didn’t want to show him as a sinner like the rest of the world.  No not Saeed, he is the example of faithfulness and dying to yourself.  The church, not just the institution but the people within it as well, don’t like to live in reality.  Our culture doesn’t like to live in reality.  So we try to cover it or ignore it, or make things seem different then they really are.  Whatever gets us away from the reality of things.  This is why my social media feed is full of stupid things about being positive and staying in a positive state of mind.  Grace leaves no room for this.  Grace says your marital abuse is more impactful than your three years in jail. Grace says you can sit with the negativity instead of covering it with positivity.  Grace says you can be exactly who you are and be loved.  Grace says you can live in reality and not cover it up.  Grace says I’ll take the abuser any day over the faithful prisoner.  

The Shores

           When I visited Alcatraz one of the guides talked about how, in her experience over the years, she had found it so interesting how many people who aren’t criminals or wouldn’t find themselves in a cell find so much in common or in relation to the prisoners and their escape plans.  She ponders whether or not it’s because of the things that we might try to escape from in our life.  How we try to run from the reality of our lives as well.  John Paul Scott found himself shaking to death in his hypothermic state as he touched the sweet shore of the military base underneath the Golden Gate Bridge.  The shore was not as promising as it felt to his skin, as the military sent him right back to his reality, the island.  There is no escaping reality it stares right in our face even as we try to avoid it.  Even as we try to deny the fact that we are inmate #AZ2403 or that we are an abuser of our wife.  But when we look into the face of reality that is where we find grace staring right back at us, reality leaves us washed up on the shores of grace.  

Vote for Pedro

           With the upcoming presidential election, many candidates are trying to find ways how they could get votes and impact people. They are wondering how they could look good and make themselves seem like the strongest candidate out there. Obviously this makes sense considering they are all trying to run for the position that would run our whole country, kind of important.  I’m not trying to make any political comments by mentioning specifically Marco Rubio but it just so happened that he made an interesting ad campaign video.  You can see the short ad it below.  You can also check out this article where this dude freaks out over Donald Trump’s recent faith campaign move.  

The Strong and the Proud

           Christians go ape shit for stuff like this.  They will feed on it because to the American church, faith makes you strong and proud.  If someone has faith or says that they let that help them in their decisions, man they are great.  It’s a symbol of something great in someone and a lot of people pride themselves on their faith as something that makes them stable or able to move through life easier than others.  They act as if it makes your life better and better things will happen because of it. We see this all through our social media feeds, people not only commenting on how they feel so proud to show everyone their faith but through memes and pictures showing how life is without Jesus compared to with him.

On the Ground

           If faith or “life with Jesus” is supposed to make you stronger then I must of missed something.  I must have the wrong guy.  Last I checked I wasn’t very strong I failed at almost every turn (I say “almost” for my dignity, it’s basically all the time) and I made dumb decisions, sometimes dumber then I made before I had faith.  Last time I checked with the church it closed down, my church closed because of foolish decisions made by those with faith.  I once read somewhere that when there are youth pastor conferences in town the hotels get a skyrocket of porn ordered in their rooms.  Ah the strong and the proud, so blinded that we can’t tell we aren’t standing tall but rather KOed on the ground.  

Life Alert for All

           I don’t support or agree with this understanding of faith and I don’t think you should either but if you want, have fun with that. I believe and think God would agree, or I guess I would agree with him, that faith is for those on the ground.  I believe in Life Alert Christianity.  One that isn’t about being strong and proud but rather weak and humble.  One that isn’t about having the best life because you have Jesus but rather dealing with the normal shittiness of life with Jesus.  One that isn’t about having it all together but rather clinging to your life alert button constantly saying “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”   One where we look more like the life alert lady then Marco Rubio.  

Stories for Days

           Storytelling has been a huge part of humanity and many different cultures.  Whatever form it has taken, we know that we love a good story.  We hear stories at the movies, at work, on Netflix, on our social media.  We love to hear things that take the focus away from our lives, the craziness that we live in.  Personally I have always loved going to the movies, there is something about knowing for about two hours you are going to be involved in a whole different story and getting to see other characters besides the one you are with every day all day. This has been shown well through the explosion of the new hit Netflix series “Making a Murderer.”  I started this show on Christmas day and then stayed up the next night until about 4 AM watching this.  I was so caught up in this unfolding story.  My dad then got caught into it, my brother and then everyone was talking about it at work.  We love a good story not only because it is enjoyable but it helps us step out of our own story for once.

Lasik Eye Surgery

           I decided to study one of the most popular degrees out there right now, Biblical Studies.  Nothing but job offers….but before the offers I was in class learning about the bible.  I had one teacher that would tell us when we read the Old Testament that we would have to take our New Testament glasses off.  Basically what he was saying was that when we read the Old Testament we have to act like we don’t know what happens in the New Testament.  We have to read it like the people back then would have read it.  But the New Testament and the work of Jesus aren’t glasses, but rather more comparable to Lasik surgery.  You can’t undo it or take them off, but rather this how you see everything now.  Trying to remove this is foolish and can lead to issues, as shown in the church today.  

I See Dead People

           Taking off your glasses results in a moral and lesson based reading of the bible.  We see this in the church today, as many would describe Christianity as rules and a list of things to be good.  Part of this thinking is from a misunderstanding of the gospel and how it impacts the rest of the bible.  Maybe movie references can help shed some light.  For example, in Interstellar once you find out that Matthew McConaughey is his daughter’s “ghost” you can no longer watch that movie without knowing that he is behind all the events that this supposed “ghost” is behind.  Once you find out that Bruce Willis is dead in The Sixth Sense the whole movie is changed permanently.  When you see that Leonardo DiCaprio is actually crazy in Shutter Island you are no longer guessing who this guy is, you now know. My point is this is how stories are told.  We don’t go back and watch these movies disregarding what we know about them.  Actually in my own experience it makes the movie even better, you get to try to find things that are pointing towards the end of the story that you didn’t catch before.  This is how stories are told.  

Look for the Story

           The bible is many things, but it is mainly a story of God’s grace poured out through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. Everything in it is about this story. Our job is to look for the story. Interstellar tells us there are books on the floor and messages written in sand from a ghost we now know.  The dead are now walking among us in The Sixth Sense and we now know what has really been going on at Shutter Island.  So enjoy a story that thankfully takes you outside yourself and shows you what someone else has done for you.  Look for it on every page.  

Crazy People

           I’m sure you have met them, most of us have no matter what circle were from.  There is that one crazy religious person who just always acts happy.  They always act like they are happy about everything going on in their life, even when everyone else can tell something isn’t right.  They usually just cover up how they are really feeling and act like they have the “joy of the Lord” so nothing can break them! Even if they know their life is crumbling they will openly admit that they are focusing on having joy not the negative stuff.  These people freak me out and give me the creeps, it’s like dealing with a robot.  

The Modern Message

           We are all concerned with ourselves, extremely self-absorbed.  Welcome to America and my own heart.  This is how we are and so this is what most churches aim to preach at as well.  So one of the biggest streams of Christianity is a focus on making you happy and joyful therefore they only preach about those kinds of topics.  Which leads to people using religion and Jesus just to find some sort of happiness and then using it to cover up the stuff in their life they don’t want to see. They will use fancy sayings like “well I just have faith” or “God makes me joyful.”  They have no way of actually dealing with the stuff in their life or actually sitting in the crappy parts of life.

Your Life Sucks

           Sometimes we just need to wake up and smell the bacon. Life sucks sometimes.  Sometimes things happen out of our control and life falls apart.  Sometimes we make dumb decisions and need to own them, not cover them up with “faith.” If we realize that Christianity is not about “your best life now” or “how to be happy”(like the book above) but rather how to be loved and accepted exactly where you are then we can learn to accept our own lives. We can learn that even in our unhappiness we are still loved and cared for by a gracious God.  We can realize that sometimes our life sucks and admit it, not just faking it like robots. 

Be Unhappy

           I want to see more in the church unhappy.  Maybe because I’m becoming more cynical but not because I just want people to be unhappy.  Moreso because I know they already are unhappy but are just covering it up.  If we are going to make any progress through it we first need to see it and admit it. Which through the love and grace given to us through Jesus we can know that even if we aren’t happy with the way God has played things out in our life we are still loved.  Then we can deal with our unhappiness of situations and be real, slowly moving forward into the acceptance of our current situation.  So be unhappy, be real.  

“Often times it’s the ones who seem the happiest.” - Chris Griffin 

New Year

           Of course it has become so cliché and normal to see every year the comments and promises people make about the next year.  We love to talk about how things will be different and we are going to make a change for the better.  It’s become such a common thing that even the jokes about it are so cliché and normal.  Everyone loves to poke fun and say how dumb it is that we are going to make a difference in the next year.  So I don’t think I’m going to say anything about that because I think we all know that it is good to set goals for ourselves but we also know how good we are at not meeting those goals.  No matter how good or bad you are at other things in your life we all succeed with flying colors in the failure department.  

A Shared Pain

           There are those that had an amazing year and trust me we all saw it on instagram with all those annoying posts.  We get it, your life is dope.  But for those that don’t share that sentiment we did not have an amazing 2015.  If we are honest I’m sure most of us could say that because life is hard not just certain years but every year.  That is why around new years we also see the desire to look forward.  The desire to not see the past but rather only look to the future.  The desire for a year that isn’t only going to bring a better us but a better life with less pain.  The desire to be finally past 2015 so we can pretend it didn’t happen.  I saw a picture that reminded me of the feeling most of us probably had, a wave crashing on shore washing away 2015 in the sand.  It would be so sweet if we could just have that happen.  If 2015 could just disappear for some of us, but the sad truth is it doesn’t.  And it wont, ever.  Not even if you post a lot of cool stuff about how excited you are for the new year on your Facebook.  

Easier to Run

           I totally get this desire, if anyone is in this boat it’s me.  I’m not criticizing this feeling we have but rather right in it.  Life has been shitty not only this past year but the past couple. Everyone is chockfull of very sweet sounding sayings like “stay positive” or “it’s going to be 2016, 2015 is gone.”  But it’s not, 2015 happened.  For all of us.  No matter how much we want to neglect it or ignore whatever it is that gave you trouble or pain in 2015 it’s still there looking at us.  It might even like to rub itself in your face when you see things that remind you of it.  It would be so easy to just let 2016 come and wash 2015 away.  It would be so much easier to just run from 2015 but I fear 2015 runs just as fast as we do.  

Laugh

           So if we can’t get rid of it, can’t run from it and can’t ignore it then we aren’t really left with many options.  The only option I can see is letting 2015 be what it is. Let it make you who you are. Don’t look forward as a means of escape but rather look forward with how the past will shape you not define you. Don’t ignore it as if it didn’t happen, but live letting it be a part of your story.  Also side note, don’t get all religious acting like your going to be this Jesus 2.0 in 2016.  Get real. Rather because you are loved, accepted and enjoyed regardless of your 2015, look back and laugh at it.  Life is more fun this way.  

Mother Teresa

       Most of us have heard of Mother Teresa regardless of religion or beliefs. She is known not only in the Catholic world but in the humanitarian world as well. She is often lifted up as a great example of how we should love and care for others. There have been many specials and books done about her life, she has earned much recognition. For all her recognition though she has never made it to sainthood in the Catholic Church. But last week it was announced that the Vatican will be giving her sainthood because of recent events. This has stirred some different conversations in different circles, how can someone become a saint? Why does the Vatican get to decide? How good do you have to be? Many questions come to mind.

Sainthood

       A saint is one who is holy and set apart as God's. Mark Driscoll lines up the ten steps it takes to becoming a saint in the Catholic Church in his book, "Who Do You Think You Are?"

 They are....

1.    Be a Catholic

2.    Die

3.    A local “devotion” grows up around your memory

4.    Your life is investigated

5.    Your local bishop sends your case to the Vatican

6.    Pray for a miracle

7.    The Vatican investigates the miraculous cure

8.    The Vatican declares you “blessed”

9.    Pray for another miracle

10. You’re a saint!

       Now if you do these things or have these things happen for you, you can become a saint but you’re long gone anyways so you won't even know. But within the Catholic Church this is high praise. Most of the saints are celebrated and even prayed to for different things.  

Teresa: Closet Sinner?

       Now after this topic has come up in recent days many have come to speak against Teresa and the things she has done, you can read more here. But basically some have said that Teresa had ulterior motives in converting people, obviously. Also that she misused her funds and didn't treat with the best medical care. Now I'm not trying to argue for whether or not these allegations are true. I'm sure, if not positive, that there were flaws in the things Teresa was doing. I'm sure there were even worse things that we never even heard about and I'm sure she had even worse in her head sometimes. But the question comes to mind with all this talk of good deeds and charity work, how much is enough to be a saint? and how much fault is enough to be discredited?

True Sainthood

The S Word

           Sinner.  It brings up a lot of connotations for a lot of people.  For the religious it probably scares them, this is the last thing they want to be called.  For the rebellious and anti religious it is probably one they feel that people press on them and degrade them with.  Everyone knows the word and is very aware of the kind of things it brings with it, however it is used it usually brings negativity.  It is mostly used in a negative sense, but I don’t believe that is the right way to view it.  

Don’t Make Me Come Down There

           Our culture loves to have an angry view of God.  It is understandable considering the many times that the church has absolutely fumbled on opportunities to display the true character of God, including myself.  I can’t tell you how many times I have screwed that up.  I was driving by a church the other day and noticed it’s sign reading “Don’t make me come down there – God.”  I couldn’t believe it but it was there as everyone was driving by seeing it.  But it makes sense because this is how we view God and that contributes to why we view “sinners” that way.  We see a God who is angry and constantly looking for something to bitch at.  We see a God who is looking down on his creation shaking his finger at any little thing they do.  We see a rule maker and taskmaster.  We see an overbearing parent or a high and mighty God with unrealistic expectations.  

Too Late

           It’s really sad to see this idea of God in our society.  Especially when the churches are promoting it and preaching it by putting stupid ass statements on their church boards like above.  The whole point is that its too late!  He already came down not in anger but in love.  He came down not to discipline us but to be disciplined for us.  He came down not to judge us but to be judged for us.  He came down not to punish us but to be punished for us.  He did all this and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it, you didn’t have a say.  You can try to change who Jesus is by telling people he’s an angry God who is shaking his finger at them or whatever other lie you want to make up but it doesn’t change the fact that in love he came and died for sinners.  If anyone tries to tell you different they’re wrong.

Call Me Sinner

           Therefore “sinner” has brand new connotations.  If Jesus died for sinners and only them then call me a sinner.  I’m glad to be a sinner.  Being a sinner means you are loved, accepted and cared for by the creator of the universe. Why would I want to be anything else? Why would I want to pretend to be something I’m not and reject the grace that is pouring out for those that are broken and sinful?  Don’t be ashamed when you hear the word sinner, especially directed at yourself it is in that moment that Jesus is showing you his grace, for it is only for sinners.  

BP

           I was playing beer pong one time a while back with some friends when one of them brought Jesus up and another one said something about Jesus not wanting to be associated with beer pong.  It makes sense why we would think that but is it true? Would Jesus really not have wanted to be at that party?  Would he really not have wanted to play a game of beer pong?  Now my friend made a cross out of the cups and then humped them, that’s a different story.  But even still why wouldn’t he want to be there?  I don’t think this is the case, as I told them.  

American Jesus

           The reason we think that way is because the American Jesus is this dude who wants no part in sinners.  He is interested in those that are doing good and have their act together.  He doesn’t care about those that are disobedient and doing bad things.  He is shaking his finger at them and will not love them until they change.  He wants no part in those that have rebelled against him.  Plus he is a prude and hates alcohol and anything fun, therefore he would want nothing to do with anyone playing beer pong or anywhere this was happening.  This is how most people view Jesus in America, but is that the Jesus of the Bible?

Scandalous Jesus

           The real Jesus finds his home with sinners.  From the very mouth of Jesus “I came to seek and save the lost” and “Those that are well are in no need of a physician but those that are sick.”  Jesus sought out the lost.  Jesus seeks out the lost.  Jesus isn’t interested in those that are “good” and have their lives all together because there isn’t such a thing as those people.  We are all broken sinners in need of grace and Jesus has come to bring that.  Jesus is not a prude he was actually a pretty cool guy to hang with considering he had so many people always around him and inviting him places.  He doesn’t dislike alcohol he himself drank wine and made wine, the best wine the people had ever had they said (unless they were just kissing ass.)  But the point is Jesus isn’t against alcohol, he calls us to not make that the most important thing in our life and to not to be drunkards but he doesn’t ever say for us not have alcohol touch our lips.  

Play Some Beer Pong

           Now I know some of you may have addictive personalities or maybe have a problem with drinking to where you can’t control yourself. There is probably a reason why you shouldn’t drink any alcohol and I agree with that.  But for those that don’t struggle with that, enjoy a beer and hang out with some sinners like yourself.  You might make a friend.  You might see you’re pretty similar to other sinners.  You might kind of act like Jesus.  Know that Jesus isn’t mad at you for playing a game of beer pong.  I’m not saying you should go rage and do body shots off random people but have some beer and enjoy it.  Jesus loves you, you can relax a bit or end up like this fun guy below.

Jesus is Looking

           So if you have played beer pong or enjoy it, you are just the person Jesus is looking for.  If you have had too many drinks before, you are just the person Jesus is looking for.  If you have a drinking problem, you are just the person Jesus is looking for.  If you are a sinner like me, you are just the person Jesus is looking for.  Welcome to the table of grace.  

Bieber Fever

           So most everyone knows that Justin Bieber has this recent interview where he talked about Jesus and church yada yada yada.  Everyone had their comments and honestly I can care less if he’s Christian or not I’m more worried about what I’m going to eat for dinner.  But I think recent things have shown something kind of interesting.  I heard of conversations that were happening by those in the church that Bieber can’t be a Christian because he cussed in his interview…fucking stupid.  He also released naked pictures apparently, I haven’t seen them.  I swear. Side note my browser history got deleted randomly?  Weird.

Even Stevens

           It reminds me of when Shia LaBeouf also spoke out about meeting Jesus.  He also cussed and talked about being arrested for public intoxication, and also just got arrested again for it the other day.  People said the same thing about him, he can’t be Christian he cussed and got arrested!  How dare he! Doesn’t he know that this Christian thing is for the broken, sinful and screw ups of the world?  Oh wait…

Small Views

           So many in the church have such a small view of not only what it means to be Christian but also who Jesus is.  First of all how was it being perfect after you became Christian? Oh that’s right you weren’t you idiot. Second of all since when is Christianity about cleaning up your act?  The gospel of grace has always been about the grace and love of Jesus given to those who don’t deserve it, to those who are sinners and screw ups regardless of the pace of their change.  Finally, how small of a view of God must you have that he would come down, become a man and be brutally murdered for those that don’t love him while they spit on him and mock him but the moment they cuss that’s it.  The church can hide porn, divorce and touching kids but if you cuss or get in trouble with the law you done fallen from grace.  The craziest part is that there is grace for these idiots who think this way.  

The Church of Bad Language and Jail Time

           I would love to see more convicts and more dirty mouths in the church.  No Orbit girls, kick them out.  Jesus is all about the sinners, yes yes he changes people but that is not the point of the gospel.  The point is he loves them even when they haven’t changed and through that love we are changed slowly.  How did we get so lost?  Maybe we need more mirrors in church.  Until then I’ll be pushing for a church of dirty mouths and a list of jail time.  You’re welcome to come.  

Uh Oh

           Oh no.  It’s happened.  You have doubts.  What do you do with them?  What will people think?  A lot of times it is taught and thought of that doubting and asking questions is bad. The church seems to have given an image of negativity towards doubting or having questions about things concerning the faith. I am not talking about those that criticize the faith and make fun, I am talking about those that have genuine questions.  If you have doubts you are doing something wrong or something is wrong with you.  But let’s be honest we all have doubts.  If you don’t think you have any then I highly doubt that.  Is this the way that doubt should be viewed?  Let’s examine the ways doubts are usually handled and the results that come with it, and then maybe a new honest and refreshing way to deal with doubt.  

Doubts Ignored

           My grandpa often talks to me about faith issues and different concepts related to the bible or Christianity.  He is not a Christian himself but says that he has a lot of questions and doubts.  But whenever he has asked people including those that are in leadership in churches they tell him that he just needs to have faith, all the while ignoring his questions and doubts.  This is something I have experienced and I am sure that you have to.  I even heard a Christian one time hear someone bring up something that they had questioned or couldn’t understand about Christianity and their response was “Oh I’ve just always believed this, I’ve never thought that way.”  This obviously leads people to be very angry and to not want to talk to Christians or about Christianity.  It seems ridiculous because when there is an issue or question we have we are led away and just ignored.  The thing that is bothering us or holding us back from further understanding is just seen as unimportant.  It leads people like my grandpa to not even want to hear what people have to say about the bible because he has just heard so much bullshit and rejection of his doubts.

Doubts Suppressed

           There are also those that have doubts but don’t want anyone to know.  It would be humiliating to let everyone know that you feel unsure about some of the things in your faith.  What would they think of you?  They could see you for who you really are, that’s scary.  They then suppress their doubts and push them away when they come up. This leads to unanswered questions and possibly an immature faith.  Because you haven’t sought out answers or actually put thought into what you believe your faith can seem pretty immature, especially when people ask questions and you avoid them or ignore them.  

Doubts Heard

           This is what I think is the best way to deal with doubt, from someone who has doubts and someone who hears doubts.  First of all doubts need to be expressed, it’s not like God doesn’t know you have them anyways so you’re not hiding them.  Also I guarantee others have struggled with whatever you are struggling with as well they just never had the balls to share it. Secondly we need to realize what we believe is crazy!  There is no way that God becoming a man, Jesus, is not crazy.  There should be some questions and further trying to understand if were going to use our brain.  Thirdly, people’s doubts need to be heard so that you can actually be real with them.  These are people who have real thoughts and real concerns; to ignore them is foolish and stupid.  

Doubt Well, Have Faith

           Now notice the last section was called “Doubts Heard.” I don’t want it to be misunderstood that if we are honest with our doubts and seek out answers that we will always find them.  I think there really are times when we need to have faith.  I just don’t think the “have faith” needs to be used to suppress or ignore doubts.  We can be real and struggle to believe things, God will bring us to faith in time. But there are also things that don’t necessarily have to be doubts there can be answers to them if one seeks and learns more about the bible and Jesus.  It is possible that some of your questions and doubts have answers.  It is possible that there isn’t any answer and we won’t know until heaven.  The only way to know is to doubt well, being honest with yourself and pursuing the truth, all the while trusting and having faith that Jesus has the answer one way or another.  So let’s doubt well and have faith.