BLAINE HUMMEL-ANDERSON;

Blaine: Finnick Cooper Hummel-Anderson, don't EVER do that again, you hear me?

Blaine: Bigoted yeehaws with grimy cat assholes for mouths are NOT worth getting arrested or putting yourself in danger like that.

Feel free to clean my apartment, but also a dog would be fun. Do that.

Try again, Zane. I’m afraid we won’t be adopting a dog anytime soon, but we will be getting a cat.

Or, we don’t have to limit it to only two kinds of people. Maybe it can be a spectrum.

That actually sounds like a much better idea. We should hereby reinvent that saying. 

Jesse: Says literally everyone.

Jesse: doesn't change the fact that i'm offended.

Jesse: Blaine..my dear dear Blaine. Everything can be solved with just a simple sing off. You of all people should understand that.

Blaine: I think you meant no one.

Blaine: The feeling is mutual.

“Ah, the week of July 4th – a.k.a. a firefighters absolute nightmare. I’m already hardly going to be home because of it as is, but if people could not be stupid when it comes to handling fireworks this holiday, that’d be great.” 

“It’s almost as if people are doing it on purpose, isn’t it? I hope things weren’t too bad this year?”

audrey: more like a shame for alex, i think he needs a sex ed lesson the most

audrey: have fun with that. just be happy you'll only have one complaining kid about it instead of three.

blaine: And here I thought our very thorough version of The Talk would be enough...

“Don’t you start in on me, Hummel-Anderson. I already got an ear full from your husband.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised. And I promise I wasn’t planning on lecturing you. I’m just... a little shocked. Especially because I’ve been in Hairspray, and it’s just such a classic. I wasn’t kidding when I said we have to watch the other version together. Both of them are absolutely amazing.”

Jesse: So have I and seeing as i'm much older than you, it's quite clear I have the right to Queen before you. It's either that or we have a sing off of who deserves Queen more.

Blaine: Says who? Brian May?

Blaine: Besides, that's not the point I was trying to make. The point is that I didn't know you back when I started singing Queen.

“You may see it, but I think burning all the copies except mine is a better idea. You know, that may have been why I was so drawn to you the night of my party. I could sense that we both struggled with our pattern matching! You’ve gotten so much better at selecting the best outfits for your coloring, I’d like to think Kurt probably had something to do with that. It was so cute but also jarring when you started at McKinley, you know that right? We went from seeing you in Warbler gear almost exclusively to your neon pants and bowties. I remember.. Well, Finn’s mouth literally dropped open. It was quite hilarious.”

“If you do that I’ll just find Kurt’s old yearbook and get my own copy. It wouldn’t surprise me if that was it, Miss Animal Sweaters. Combined with the alcohol and our musical chemistry, of course. Oh, absolutely, but I also like to think we just got better at it simply because we got older and wiser. I mean, don’t ever tell him I said this, but I’ve even seen some old pictures of Kurt wearing some questionable outfits. But perhaps those were just current trends. And here I was thinking that Finn didn’t like me because I used to be the enemy. I never realised my clothes were the problem.” 

That’s what I figured – but I still needed to be cautious, just in case, though. I would absolutely advocate for a kitten. I relate to them so much MORE after all; a Main Coon would be wonderful, I think. 

Of course I do, baby. I miss being on stage, too, and if it’d make you happy, that’s all I could ever want for you. The distance would be difficult at times, sure, but it’s not like it would be forever. We both know what the show-biz life is like. I’d be all for a family trip, too, though that’d definitely be a question for the rest of our kids. 

Kurt, you don’t ever need to be cautious, I promise. These are family decisions, and I would never make those on my own. And I was hoping you’d say that! So... if I told you there’s a tabby Maine Coon kitten in the shelter right now, you’d let me make an appointment so we can meet him? 

I’m always up for piano lessons and sporadic musical numbers around Lima if you’re that bored, Mr. H-A.

Really? Because I’ve actually been thinking of offering piano lessons, and I’d love to have you as my student, Finley. 

But - doing nothing is the best thing. If I could choose to be productive or to spend my whole life in bed, I’d choose the latter.

Well... I guess there really are two kinds of people. 

alex: that's what everyone keeps saying but i really don't think she'll want me to be a part of the equation now.

alex: oh uh, yeah i forgot about that part

alex: i just wish someone could slap me and tell me the right thing to do, because there's a war going on inside my head

blaine: Maybe, maybe not. I'm not saying you should blow up her phone or anything, because yes, maybe she does want some space. But even just by telling her that, "I think it's best if I give you some space right now, but please know that I'm here if you need anything", you can show her that she's not alone.

“I’m going to try to. I try not to feed into people like that who talk about me like that or just act that way at all.”

“Thank you, truly. But they are good, I’m good, everyone’s healthy and I’m happy for that. I’m actually having a get-together, kind of gender reveal thing with my family and I’d love it if you and Kurt want to come. Don’t feel forced to come of course, I just want you to know that even though Alex isn’t interested in being a part of their lives that if your family still wants to be involved I’d be more than happy to let you all come around and spend time with them and be involved with these kinds of things.”

“Exactly. They’re not worth it. I know that’s easier said than done, though.”

Jesse: I wish I was. Maybe then I would be able to fathom why on earth you would swerve into my lane

Jesse: its come to my attention that your choice of artist to sing in Glee was Queen. Queen is mine. Everyone who is anyone knows that Freddy Mercury is my territory.

Um... tomato I think? Or chicken noodle? I don’t eat soup very often, to be honest.