madeleine

Dan Heng fell for you hard. But there was the danger of the shadow of his past lurking behind him, the walking danger who insists that Dan Heng must pay— this much, he knew well. And so, he made it a mission to try and kill the blooming romance between the two of you.

Oh, he wasn’t quite as dense as you thought him to be. He knew your true feelings, noticed all the little signs. He noted the way your eyes lingered on him for a beat longer, the way your hands would sometimes brush against his as you stand side-by-side, the way a soft smile is on your lips as you look at him.

Nothing progressed past that, however. Maybe something was holding you back, too. Friendly conversations remained friendly as you stay at the archives until the late hours, chatting about whatever topic you two fancied. And sometimes, there’d be a pause after shared laughter— you’d look at him with a certain expression, one that makes his heart squeeze in his chest.

But he’d break the atmosphere, clearing his throat or harping on about another topic. He’d try his absolute best at hiding his emotions, at making sure that none of his deep feelings showed obviously. But whenever you gave him that smile, spoke in that soft, teasing tone, when you laughed… for a moment, he allows himself to imagine the possibilities. He wonders, what will it be like to hold your hand? To be able to kiss you? To simply be with you?

But he snaps out of it quickly. There was no point in pondering on the ‘what if’s. After all… it’s better this way.

To be admired by Jing Yuan is to be admired from afar.

While the general may seem like the type of person to pursue who he wants without a second thought, but he wasn’t one to carelessly take chances. He’d closely watch how you act when you’re around him— do you seem happy? Do you appear to enjoy his company?

When it all hits him and he realizes that you do share his feelings, a certain air of tension lay between the two of you. Suddenly, those ‘friendly’ touches don’t seem so innocent anymore, and the little smile ever-present on your face reveals itself to only be ever-present within his presence. The time for those afternoon naps he yearned for had turned into a time for him to pen you letters or to look forward to your visit.

Little by little, the space between the two of your vanishes, and flickers of what seems to be romance spark. There’d be an occasional shared look filled with intent and emotions— then you both look away, pretending nothing happened.

A part of him found it amusing. To think that you’d shamelessly pat his head, run your hands through his hair, sometimes even chide him for his love of slacking, and yet you’d quickly look away when he truly looks at you. He sees through you; there is that certain light in your eyes whenever you’d look at him, he hears the pleased tone in your voice, sees the way you’d glance at his lips every now and then.

But there is time for the fun to end. To involve yourself with someone so heavily involved in a dangerous position– to someone within a rank wherein death is ‘fate’– was less than appealing for Jing Yuan to think of.

The general is called ‘preventive’ rather than ‘corrective.’ Don’t expect his approach towards you to be any different— his enemies are long dead, and his friends have been scattered in the winds. To connect with another person is to risk a repeat of that and… that’s not one he’s willing to take.

At first, Blade did not know what the twisting feeling in his stomach meant whenever he’d see you smiling, laughing, or… doing anything, really. He figured that maybe, what he was feeling was disgust toward you. How else would he explain that feeling of what seems to be unease settling in his stomach?

Since then, he’s made a conscious effort to avoid you. He’s already an elusive person as he is, so it shouldn’t prove too difficult. Yet somehow, he keeps on making his way back to you— a day that was supposed to be spent away from you ends with him eating dinner in a seat across from you. He’d sneak glances at you with a displeased expression, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

He truly could not stand the mystery of it. Why was it you? What issue does he take in your happiness that it makes his stomach turn? How come the slightest of your touches makes his chest ache?

After a while, he realizes that it was a silly thing that people called ‘love.’ The force that is said to be able to move mountains, to change worlds, to bring about war and ruin, peace and order.

Funny how he doesn’t feel any stronger— he feels the exact opposite when he’s around you. He feels weak. As though led on by the horns, he unwittingly follows every whim of yours. That bright expression of yours only works to make him bend to your will. Should you ask for the stars themselves, he may damn well reach for them and hand them over to you.

But there can only be so much that he can do before he realizes how this whole ordeal only gets in the way of his goals. There is only one purpose for this life of his. And as he breaks himself into fragments at the cost of attaining this goal, he believes that you deserve more than just his pieces.

Gepard knew it from the very moment he felt the telltale skipping of his heart and the redness rushing to his cheeks. He’s heard of it from songs, read it from books, and seen it in movies before. 

You could say he’s well-acquainted with love. How could he not be, when everyone makes such a big fuss about it? There are tales of having to break up public fights started in the name of it— jilted lovers coming after their ‘replacements’, disgruntled and jealous lovers getting physical the moment another person flirts with their partner, and many others. Of course, it’s up to guards to break up such fights; as the captain, he hears of it by the end of the day, and all he could do is sigh.

But if he shall speak as a Landau noble, he could say that he expects love to come to him, too. After all, it is expected for him to continue the line. Many would joke that it wouldn’t be difficult for it to come to him, anyway— sooner or later, a special someone will fall head over heels for his earnest demeanor combined with his appealing looks.

In both cases, he sees love as something linked to duty— the duty to fulfill his oath to protect the people of Belobog, and the duty to keep the noble line alive. What he doesn’t know, however, is that this love that came over him is one that makes him forget about said duties, even if just for a moment.

He feels terrible yet happy about it. He’s found himself taking extra care of the flowers he’s keeping, hoping he could someday give you some of the best ones. He’s humming some love songs under his breath as he prepares for the day, as he does his routine check, and as he comes home from fighting the beings of the Fragmentum.

But reality crept in: even with all these feelings residing in his heart, he couldn’t pursue you. There was the glaring reality of the brutal life of being the captain of the Silvermane Guards— a horrible reality that he would never dare subject you to. There are endless threats to peace and battles that yield uncertain results.

Silver light leaks through the windows, making the moon bear witness to the display beyond the wide glass. 

There was no one else around the abandoned establishment— there was only you, Blade, and whatever shred of mercy he’ll have left after you’ve been taunting him with your presence, with your blood.

Blood. The very thing he’s been looking for, aching for. He hasn’t fed for so long, yet here you were, walking right into him with the offer of your blood.

It was a precious sight to him, seeing you pull down the high collar of your top, exposing your neck. Your expression, too– concerned instead of horrified– like tales of vampires and the terror they bring only fell on deaf ears.

Blade wasn’t one to say no when satisfaction walks right into him. Perhaps he’ll be nicer to you. After all, you so kindly offered. 

And here you two were, bathing in moonlight as Blade held you in his arms, teeth sinking into the skin of your neck.

At first, there was a sharp jolt of pain running through your body. Your hands quickly grip Blade’s shoulders yet it did nothing to deter him. He breathes in, taking in your scent before he continues sucking the sweet, delicious blood from your neck.

You tilt your head back, allowing Blade to bury his face in the crook of your neck. It was then that the pain subsided, replaced by another feeling; the pricks of his fangs only momentarily stung before it filled you with a sense of pleasure.

As Blade drinks, stuttered words amongst incoherent sounds escape your lips. Your involuntary sputters mixed with the noise of him ravenously taking more and more of your blood filled the otherwise quiet room. 

Blade wraps an arm around your waist, holding you close as his mouth trails from the mess that is your bitten neck and up to your lips. Your skin feels warm and your mouth is slightly parted, but no sound comes out— Blade takes the opportunity to run his other hand through his dark hair, keeping it away from his face before he presses his lips against yours.

You immediately respond, grabbing onto Blade’s clothes. You think, this wasn’t a part of what we agreed upon. And yet, you can’t help yourself as you fervently kiss Blade back, sating your own hunger.

You faintly taste your own blood in your mouth, your mind set in disarray as Blade runs his finger down your back. You mutter against his mouth, pulling away from him ever so slightly, “Blade…”

“I’m not done yet,” Blade firmly replies, his hold on you not loosening. 

You expected him to dip down to take more of your blood, but instead, he kisses you once more. His movements were somewhat urgent and eager as his lips move against yours. His hands wander around your body before one settles on your back and another on your hip.

“Taste so good,” Blade groans as his lips travel to the corner of yours.

You could only let out a shuddered breath at his words. The rush of feeling his lips– of him kissing you– turned your mind into a hazy mess.

Before long, Blade’s mouth connects with your neck once more, sucking your blood— and before long, he starts kissing your neck instead. He leaves a trail of kisses in his wake, leaving your skin covered in the warmth of his touch.

Then, he pulls away from you, the corner of his mouth stained with your blood. Using your thumb to wipe it away, you ask him, “Had enough yet?”

⇢ Fu Xuan is a busy woman— she’s a so-called bigshot of the Loufu, admired and feared by many.

⇢ But when it comes to you, Fu Xuan is much more lax and even borderlining on soft. While she can be quite authoritative, she find it quite difficult to say no when you ask for just ‘one more kiss, please?’ when she’s supposed to be on a rush back to her office.

⇢ Fu Xuan’s not that used to verbally expression her affection towards you. She finds herself turning into an embarrassing shade of red as she stammers out compliments.

⇢ Oh, but the same thing happens when you openly declaring your love for her; she’s unable to meet your eyes and be at a loss for words.

⇢ She tries to make up for her lack of ability of being vocal through actions and gifts. When she finds some items that remind her of you, she quickly whips out her wallet to buy it and would look forward to giving it to you by the end of the day.

⇢ She’s also the type to leave you some notes– which she likes to call tips– that vaguely hint what could be happening in the day. It’ll read something like “avoid the emerald starskiff this morning. A child will wail the entire trip,” or “avoid the general’s retainer lest you want to be whisked into talking about swords for half an hour.”

⇢ Dates with her are simple most of the time; she’s used to fancy settings due to her position, and they tend to remind her of tiring formal diners frequently.

⇢ That isn’t to say that she never brings you to fancy dinners. She’d sometimes surprise you by booking a table on anniversaries. Oh, but what about your outfit, you ask? Well, she’s taken care of that as well. She loves to spoil you as much as she can, of course.

⇢ Whenever she gets her leave, she spends her days with you. She’d talk (and complain) about her work, the things she’s recently seen, her plans, her subordinate who ‘loves to slack off’, and the general whose retirement she anxiously prays over.

⇢ She can sometimes end up talking your ear off— she’s used to people reacting to her words with stifled yawns or bored expressions, but when you show keen interest in her words, it makes her all the more happier. 

Jing Yuan 'so kindly' volunteered to help you. So here you were, face close to his as you put a brush to his face.

“Stop moving so much,” You click your tongue. “Or I’ll mess this up.”

“I’m not moving.”

“You just did. You moved your mouth,” You reply.

Jing Yuan laughs. When your narrow your eyes in mock irritation, he laughs even harder.

You chide him, “It’s not that funny.”

“I don’t think it’s funny, I think you’re being cute.”

“Cute?” You raise an eyebrow. “If this is your attempt at making me forgive you for moving around, it’s not working.”

“I’m not trying to butter you up. I’m telling the truth.”

“Sure. Now, close that mouth. I’ll add a little gloss.”

Jing Yuan nods. You turn to take the tube from the assembly of supplies you’ve put atop Jing Yuan’s desk. You then open it and trace along Jing Yuan’s lips, holding your breath for absolutely no reason.

When you finish and look up at Jing Yuan, he’s already looking at you. Almost a complete turn-around from your demeanor mere moments go, you quietly say, “There. Done.”

For a moment, you two only look at each other, waiting for someone to move, for something to happen.

And he does the first move, gently taking your chin in his fingers, and tilting your head before pulling you into a soft kiss.

Jing Yuan pulls away from the kiss far too soon. Just as you were about to speak, Jing Yuan sloppily wipes his lips with the back of his hand, leaving a shiny trail of lip gloss on his cheek. He then urgently pulls you into another kiss, cupping your cheeks with his hands.

Getting all too aware of the way your breathing starts to get shallow over time, Jing Yuan pulls away. Pretty, Jing Yuan thought, licking his lips. You both stay quiet, gazing at each other with dazed looks, still catching your breath.

Suddenly, a knock. A familiar youthful voice speaks from behind the wooden door, “General! General! You’re late for our scheduled sparring again!”

You give Jing Yuan a look. You whisper, “You were supposed to be somewhere.”

The knocking grows even more persistent. “General!”

Jing Yuan sheepishly laughs. Then, he calls out, “A moment.”

Then, Jing Yuan presses a quick kiss on your lips. “I’ll gladly be your practice dummy next time again, okay?”

Sampo was crafty and you know that. He has a way to get what he wants; he makes use of his charm, some properly placed words here and there, throws in a smile for good measure, and before everyone else knows it, they’ve done exactly what Sampo wanted.

And right now, he has you on his lap as you focus on lining his eyes. The cap of the liquid liner was between your teeth as you narrowed your eyes in complete focus on the task at hand.

The shit-eating grin he’s obviously holding back doesn’t help… or those hands he’s got on your waist.

“Sampo,” You firmly say, the name muffled in your mouth due to your teeth biting down on the cap.

“Yes?”

Taking the cap out of your mouth and snapping it back on the liner, you say, “You’re not good at hiding your ulterior motives from me, you know that?”

“What ulterior motives? No such thing!”

Unamused, you raise an eyebrow. “Easily agreeing to me doing this when you’re usually in a rush?”

In a mock dramatic tone, replies, “Is obliging suddenly suspicious now?”

You decide to get straight to the point. “It sure is when you pull me in to sit here. You just want a kiss.”

And Sampo doesn’t even try to deny it. He simply gives you a smile and says, “Oh? Seems like I was caught, after all!”

You give him an unamused look. Still, you rest your arms on his shoulder and you lean closer.

“Just one,” You warned. “So you can reflect on your actions.”

Sampo only hums happily in reply. Another victory for him, you think. He’s damn lucky you can’t resist kissing that stupid mouth on his face.

You press a kiss on his lips. His hold on your waist tightens— and like habit, your free hand travels to his hair, playing with dark strands as you move. You could feel him smile into your kiss. Then, your other hand lets go of the liner in your grip and both your hands hold onto him as he deepens the kiss with a tilt of his head.

When your breathing turns labored, he pulls away with a triumphant smile.

You huff in pretend annoyance, mind still hazy from the kisses you exchanged. “I told you… just one kiss.”

It was a mistake— no, this whole thing was a mistake.

At first, it seemed like a good idea to him. In fact, he was the one who got the idea— he knew you love cats. So did he; he found the little creatures interesting and maybe just a tad bit cute. But you, on the other hand… you frequently gushed (clutching your chest, cooing, everything) over cat videos.

Cat videos. On the screen. It’s not even the real thing right before your eyes yet you acted like this.

But he thought that the smile on your face was far too precious and that it would definitely make you happy to have a cat of your own or a ‘furbaby’, as Bronie calls it.

When he proposed the idea, you instantly nodded. Then, you reveal a sickening number of tabs open on your phone, all containing research about the best way to take care of cats. He recalls the time you were complaining about your phone moving so slowly; he was about to ask you how long literally hundreds of tabs have been open on it, but then you give him that beaming smile that he’s always (secretly) felt weak to, and the question gets thrown to oblivion.

And just a day after that, you two were home with a cute little bundle of joy (your words, not his) and you were smiling unstoppably. To him, the cat wasn’t anything particularly remarkable. However, its black fur paired with orange eyes has apparently intrigued you.

“What are you gonna name him?”

“Pepper,” You reply, looking down at the cat. “Isn’t it fitting?”

“Pepper? That’s more like a dog’s name to me.”

You only laugh as the cat peacefully curls up atop your lap, looking much like a bundle of darkness rather than joy. Blade’s spot, he thinks. That’s where he rests his head as he naps or simply absentmindedly scrolls through his phone, but he lets it pass— it’s good to let the cat become very accustomed to you. It shouldn’t be a challenge to get the cat to warm up to you; perhaps he was biased, but if you asked him, he’d say it’s very easy to like you.

Months pass and Blade does get proven right; Pepper has given his verdict as to who his favorite parent is and, predictably, it’s you. You and Pepper work in tandem half the time— whenever the cat isn’t asleep, anyway. Wherever you go, Pepper goes.

Now: Pepper did like Blade, yes, but the cat was attached to you to the point that you couldn’t even take a piss without it scratching at the door to be let in. And on the other hand, you’ve taken to affectionately calling Pepper your son.

And this son… is coming in between his parents.

You see, earlier this day, Blade had been minding his business. It’s a weekend, and he’s sitting in bed, watching a show. You were right beside him, leaning onto him as your eyes are cast on the screen before you. 

But after a while, before you two even knew it, watching turns into kissing.

“Ren…” You mutter against his lips as you lay below Blade. You were about to open your mouth to say something when suddenly, a walking nightmare on four legs slipped between Blade’s and your body.

And Pepper hisses at Blade.

“Aw, Pepper!” You turn to the cat, taking it in your arms. Blade parts from you, opting to lay beside you as you coo over your son, saying something about how he’s so adorable.

He watches as Pepper gets showered in kisses. “Aw, my cutesy, does Pepper want kisses too?”

Blade does, but that cat in your arms interrupted you two. He turns his eyes back to the television, slightly disgruntled. But once more, he lets it pass. After all, he did like Pepper too, even with all his kiss-stealing tendencies. Pepper was as much his… ‘son’ as much as it was yours.

He thinks that the cat must’ve sensed Blade’s somewhat lax behavior towards it; today, it’s really pushing its luck. 

Lunchtime? Pepper rubbed his head all over your legs until you decide to give him some of the food on your plate despite the fact that he already had his own lunch and finished it with much vigor. Oh, what about the afternoon? You spent it playing with Pepper until he fell asleep. Dinnertime? Same modus as lunch.

And now… well, now, as you sit in bed, Pepper laid on your lap as though it was his personal seat. You didn’t seem bothered about it, not even one bit— in fact, you hummed as you pet its head affectionately.

And Blade? He’s sitting right beside you, phone in hand as he side-eyes Pepper.

This has gone too far. Isn’t it his time to be coddled too?

He wraps an arm around your shoulder, making you lean towards him. You oblige with a smile on your face but eyes still on Pepper. With his actions, the cat turns its head toward Blade and he swears to everything holy that the cat definitely must be annoyed at him. The only thing missing is for it to hiss at him again.

Eyes narrowed and looking directly at Pepper, Blade presses a kiss against your temple.

The cat stares back at him.

His arm tightens around your shoulder and his free hand reaches for yours—

“Ren, you’re a lot more clingy today,” You comment, finally looking at Blade. Then, you notice the expression on his face. You follow his eyes and you find yourself looking right at your son.

You cannot help the laughter bubbling up your stomach. It was ridiculous to you; was Blade having a silent competition with Pepper?

At the sound of your laughter, Blade’s glare at Pepper finally breaks and he looks at you, asking, “What?”

“Nothing,” You answer, sparing Blade the shame of having to admit silently declaring rivalry with Pepper. “You want kisses?”

“...Why’re you talking to me like I’m Pepper?”

You repeat, ignoring Blade’s reply, “You want kisses?”

Silence. Then, “Yes.”

You take Pepper in your arms, lifting him from your lap. You then put Pepper down on the bed before you turn your body to Blade. Your eyes flicker from Blade’s eyes and to his lips, then you lean even closer to finally kiss him.

His arms wrap around your body, holding you closer. Even as you pull away, he doesn’t let go of you.

So your hunch was right. With a smile on your face, you play with his hair, pushing his bangs away from his eyes. “I’ll make it up to you, alright? I’ll cuddle you and sing for you too, so you don’t have to sulk anymore.”

Blade defensively answers, “Who said I was sulking?”

“Oh? Do you not want me to cu—”

“I didn’t say that,” Blade interrupts. Then, in a quieter voice, almost as if he’s embarrassed, “I wouldn’t be jealous because of a cat.”

“I didn’t say anything about Pepper, though?”

There was a name for it, you think. You’ve heard Tingyun talk about it before, when she was sharing lunch with you post-meeting. It was a passing remark— something she heard through the grapevine about how one of your co-workers was suffering under it after missing their scheduled date with their partner as they slept in. She said it with a feigned air of concern, sighing and motioning with her free hand dramatically.

Ah, yes. You remember now; it was called ‘the silent treatment.’

That must be it, surely. He hasn’t spoken a word to you the whole time you visited his office. Instead, he buried his face in archives and endless books.

You thought it was strange. Normally, he’d have a few remarks or jokes under his sleeve and would talk to you until the very second you have to leave the room. But instead, complete silence greets you. This is the silent treatment, isn’t it?

…But what did you do to make Jing Yuan mad?

You definitely did not miss a date like your co-worker did. Your calendar was clear for the week, and you always look forward to your dates with him, unable to cast it out of your mind. You felt silly about it sometimes— here you were, excitedly counting down the days until you could go on another date with your boyfriend as if you weren’t under the same faction and working closely with him daily.

But if it wasn’t that, what does that leave? You rattled your head for an answer and backtracked on everything you did today, thinking hard. Today, you woke up, prepared your morning drink, and went straight to work. You decided that you could just eat breakfast on breaks instead of eating alone at home.

Right on the dot, you stood up and took your break, made a beeline for one of the stalls to purchase a few Berrypheasant Skewers to share with Jing Yuan later, and a Songlotus Cake for yourself.

Then, a colleague of yours offered to join up, saying they didn’t have time to eat breakfast either, an offer you took. You found it strange that Jing Yuan didn’t swing by at the time he usually did; he’d usually find some lame excuse to even simply walk by your desk as you ate or even send one of those finches that loved him in his stead.

He did give you a visit a little later on when your plate was cleared and you were only spending the last few minutes of your break giggling about some story you heard. As you notice his presence, you put a hand on the table, ready to get up and excuse yourself from the conversation.

In response, his eyebrows shoot up and he gives you a certain unreadable look before giving you a small wave as though dismissing you like you’re merely one of his lieutenants.

But come lunchtime, which is now, Jing Yuan was still nowhere to be seen and completely silent. You swung by his office, but the guards by the door only told you he was busy and to come back later.

And so, you find yourself spending your lunch with Tingyun, sharing the skewers you bought earlier. You sigh after you recollect your entire day to her in hopes that she can help.

“He’s upset, and I don’t know why.”

Tingyun waves a perfectly manicured finger and clicks her tongue, “There is absolutely no way you don’t know why.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be asking you for help if I knew now, did I?” You raise an eyebrow.

As though it was the most obvious thing in the world, Tingyun replies, “[Name], the general is jealous.”

Jealous? The possibility didn’t even cross your mind. “Over what?”

Tingyun gawks at you for a moment before stating matter-of-factly, “Over you laughing so hard with that guy, duh? Picture this, [name]: the general is eating his lunch with the master diviner with a wide smile on his face, laughing at every word she says. What would you feel?”

“I’d find it weird—”

“See!”

“—Because master diviner holds much contempt towards Jing Yuan. They wouldn’t eat together.” You finish.

Tingyun waves her hand frantically, “Okay, okay. Then, what about the fanatics that buy exclusive Jing Yuan photos from me?”

You blink, letting the words hang in the air. You then slowly say, “What photos?”

“It’s a hypothetical,” Tingyun quickly answers. “But if I was selling them, what would you think?”

“I couldn’t really care less when all they do is look while I can touch…”

Tingyun’s expression falls. “Ah, there’s no helping you. Not even Bailu’s most effective herbs and medicines can help that empty head of yours!”

“What?” You narrow your eyes.

“Point is,” Tingyun ignores your comment. “Maybe he just doesn’t wanna see his dearly beloved laughing with just about anyone, you know?”

“Does he?” An awfully familiar voice behind you and Tingyun cuts in.

You two exchange a look before turning around to look at him.

“Ha-ha, General! How… very nice to see you out on a stroll!” Tingyun forces a smile on her face as she stands up with her hands folded behind her back. “But, ah, I’ll have to leave you and [name] to it, alright? Business calls!”

Making her quick getaway, you watch in disbelief as Tingyun disappears into the crowds of Xianzhou Loufu.

Jing Yuan sits in what used to be Tingyun’s spot. “I’m sorry I’m late, love. Yanqing insisted on a few more rematches.”

You couldn’t help the words spouting out your mouth. “So you aren’t mad at me?”

The serene expression on Jing Yuan’s face falters for a moment. He answers, “Why would I be?”

He isn’t answering the question. You decide to test the waters, saying, “You’ve been awfully quiet since this morning and you waved me off when you saw me. I swung by once and you were burying your head in the records. The second time, I was turned away by your guards.”

“…I was? Did they?”

And he isn’t making it any easier for you, either. “You were. And they did.”

“I’m not mad. I couldn’t be mad at you even if I tried.”

“Not mad, then. What about jealous?”

Jing Yuan merely blinks at you.

It doesn’t take long for the silence to blanket the two of you. Then, you call out, “Love.”

“Hm?”

You hesitate a little as you say, “If… If you’re jealous, I want you to know that I love only you.”

With that, Jing Yuan’s expression lightens up and he lets out a laugh. “Is that so?”

“Yes. I’ll repeat it as many times as you want me to,” You nod, serious.

“Say it again, then.”

“I love only you.”

“Again?”

“I love only you, Jing Yuan.”

“Ah, again.”

“…You’re just teasing now.”

“I’m not,” Jing Yuan shakes his head with an expression that says that he is. “One more time, please?”

You breathe in and take his hand in yours as you slowly say, “I love you and only you, Jing Yuan.”

If not giving a fuck was a game, Blade would instantly lose. He’s the type to snap his full attention to whoever gets the idea of flirting with you, mouth pressed in a thin line and his eyes narrowed.

He already speaks in a cold tone most of the time— but now, there’s restrained anger lying in his voice. He doesn’t hesitate to tell them off until the person finally leaves you alone. He’s not one to publicly display his affection toward you, not the type to wrap an arm around you or declare you as his lover. What he does, however, is throw around disgruntled comments to shoo away those that wanted to pursue you. And even then, he’ll insist he definitely wasn’t jealous, all while he’s nearly fuming.

“I wasn’t jealous,” Blade shakes his head, leaning against the wall. He stood beside the vending machine oh-so-casually, as if he wasn’t a wanted criminal in the streets you loiter in. You take a sip from the can of soda and after a satisfied ‘ah’, you raise your eyebrows in skepticism. “Really?” Blade crosses his arms and replies, “Really.” “Really sure?” “Yes.” “Totally, a hundred percent sure?” At this point, Blade rolls his eyes and breathes out in exasperation. “Yes–” he suddenly grabs your can. “–And enough of that. You’ve had three of those the past two hours.” “You were keeping track?” You say as you try to snatch your drink from Blade’s hands, only for him to childishly extend his hand in another direction, away from your hand. “This can was bought for you by that thing a while ago, remember?” You stifle a laugh at the spite loaded in the word ‘thing.’ You tease, “So you were keeping track.” He doesn’t reply as you two move through the street and journey toward the designated alley that Silver Wolf uses as a teleporter. Blade keeps the soda away from you and you keep on reaching for it, moving from one side to another— then, you grab his arm, ready to seize the can, when he simply lowers his hand and gulps all the remaining contents in one go. He crushes the empty can in his hand and mindlessly tosses it to the side as you turn into the empty alley. You complain as you watch the crushed can clatter onto the street. “Wha– excuse me, that was mine!” He belches in response, then pauses to savor the taste, only for his expression to turn into one of displeasure. Right as you were about to complain even more, he grabs your wrist, catching you off-guard and making you stumble right into his body.  Another complaint was about to make itself out of your mouth when Blade cups your face and pulls you in for a kiss. You could still taste some of the soda left on his lips. He pulls away and licks his lips as he looks at you. Then, he comments, “That drink doesn’t even taste all that good.”

Kafka was not afraid to let people know you were unavailable. Sure, she does try to keep it on the down low— being romantically involved with a Stellaron Hunter was not, by any means, safe. People could use you as a bargaining chip, maybe even worse.

But ‘try’ is the keyword. Kafka is not one to shy away from threats or from being passive-aggressive when others try to push the limits of what seems to be friendly conversation. She’d sling an arm around you, call you all sorts of pet names, and even whisper some sweet things to your ear, making your heart race. And later, when she gets you all alone, you know that she’d also… remind you of who’s the only one who can easily get you bothered with a few words. After all, they’re nothing compared to her, right?

You’re pressed against the bed as she traces a finger down your chest. She smiles as you look at her with an expression that spelled shame. Then, finally, she gives you a kiss. She tilts her head to deepen it, and you groan as her hand makes its way to your throat, lightly gripping the column of your skin. When she pulls away, her lipstick is smudged. She looks beautiful nevertheless, you think. “You’re staring a little too hard, [name].” “Sorry…?” She nods, “Mhm, you should be sorry. You should be sorry you look so good that everyone wants a piece of you.” Embarrassment rushes to your stomach at quick speeds. You try to stammer out a reply, but Kafka only chuckles and says, “No matter. Because this pretty thing–” her thumb swipes across your bottom lip, cleaning the lipstick she had transferred onto you. “–is mine.” And she goes back in for another kiss, hands wandering as she does. She seemed to know all the right buttons to press, you think as her lips wander lower and lower. Kafka kisses a particularly sensitive spot, marking you as she goes. You jolt as you stammer out, “Ka– ah– Kafka…” You quickly grew conscious of the volume of your voice. You put a hand to your mouth, only for Kafka to grab ahold of your wrist.She smiles, and you know it spelled trouble for you. “Ah, ah. Let’s remind them who you belong to, hm?”

Jing Yuan wasn’t the type to be easily jealous— in fact, he’s very laid back. He thinks others are fools for trying to flirt with you, even. He found that it was nothing to worry about; he knew for sure that you love him and only him. There were times when you’d tell him about corny pick-up lines that others use on you, you two would poke fun at it and laugh about it together.

However, when push comes to shove and a really pushy person tries their hand at flirting with you with some implications behind it, he puts on airs of intimidation. He looks down at the stubborn person stupid enough to flirt with his lover right before his eyes. Then, when it’s just the two of you, he’s back to his usual self: mushy, loving, and sweet… except a little clingy.

“What’s gotten into you?” You tilt your head as Jing Yuan refuses to lift his head from your lap. The situation was strange to you. Here you were in Jing Yuan’s office, sitting down. …And your lover was on your lap, feigning being asleep, not moving a muscle— not even when his dear retainer suddenly barged in mere moments ago, talking and talking uninterrupted until the boy huffs, “General, I know you’re awake, don’t ignore me…!” When Jing Yuan still remains unbothered as he rests on your lap, Yangqing’s shoulders sag and he turns around, slamming the door behind him. You click your tongue— not at Yanqing, but at Jing Yuan. “Give it up. We both know you’re awake.” Jing Yuan remains unresponsive and all you could do is sigh. That is, until he takes your hand and places it on his chest, mumbling, “Let me stay here a little longer. Tired.” Tired...? After that afternoon nap you just took merely two hours ago? You thought. You narrow your eyes— then, realization struck you like lightning. “Were you… jealous a while ago?” Silence greets you, accompanied by him gripping your hand tighter. An amused smile only spreads across your face. You say, “I see.” He still refuses to answer or move. That is, until your fingers card through his bangs, pushing them back, and he opens his eyes. You take your hand away from his chest and move it up to touch his cheek as you lean down and give him a quick peck. When you pull away, a small smile is on his lips. You ask, “Better?” “Maybe a little more…” Jing Yuan says, beckoning you closer, his hand on the back of your neck.

Fu Xuan does not ever feel jealous.

That’s what she claims, anyway. She says that jealousy wasn’t what she felt when someone was getting a tad bit too friendly with you— it was just annoyance. Pure, unbridled annoyance. Maybe even irritation if we push it. She mutters something about having decorum, that to flirt in the presence of others was not polite, so and so.

But the way she glares at the person narrowly beats the glare she sends in Jing Yuan’s direction; to be someone that Fu Xuan glares at harder than she does at the Loufu General… well, it was a rare honor of some kind. She turns away from the person and mutters all sorts of comments under her breath as she works.

Jing Yuan

⇢ It had been a while since you two saw one another; you were both far too busy with the threat of the Stellaron Hunters coming to Xianzhou.

⇢ You were busy with matters concerning work; no matter whether or not literal criminals could be walking the streets, the world stops for no one.

⇢ Well, most especially because you were involved with the Realm-Keeping Commission. It kept you ridiculously occupied, so much to the point that you couldn’t even pick up your phone.

⇢ Many things were keeping you occupied: first was the clear issue of the well-hidden secret of Blade’s escape. Second were the strange visitors that Sushang had been lugging around, especially the one carrying around a coffin and… hitting enemies with it. Third was the investigation of the spread of mara within soldiers— the Cloud Knights had been bleeding more men than predicted, which only made it more difficult for them to handle the criminals.

“He’s quite suspicious, isn’t he?” You comment, pulling Sushang to the side. The young knight raises an eyebrow at your words. “Who?” “The fair-haired one,” You explain. “The one with the coffin.” “I thought of that, too,” Sushang nods. She then beams at you, “But I can handle this, [name]! Trust me— you don’t have to worry more than you already do. The Loufu General won’t be too happy to know you’re running on anxiety, you know?”

⇢ And of course, you greatly missed Jing Yuan. At first, it was a faint feeling of sadness that resided in your chest. Then, as the days went by, it only grew in intensity. Somehow, seeing happy pairs of Foxians walking outside left a bitter taste in your mouth.

⇢ However, you had to push those feelings to the side and needed to put all focus on doing your job— the determination of ending all that gets in the way kept you fueled. After all, the sooner you deal with work, the sooner you’d be reunited with him.

⇢ And when all things ceased— finally and for the better, too— you find yourself overly aware of just how much you really missed your beloved. His absence had made your side turn cold.

⇢ Not only that, but worries also started to wander into your head. Where is he? What had happened to him these past few days? He didn’t do anything reckless, did he?

⇢ Those questions, you thought, could be easily answered by the one junior you know you could trust: Yanqing. And there he was, wiping his sword clean of dirt on a pavilion. You approached him, raising a hand in acknowledgment as you call out his name. He looks up at you with a bright smile.

“The General…” Yanqing tilts his head, eyes wandering up as he thinks. Some grime was on the little boy’s cheek as well as his hand, but he paid them no attention, or perhaps he did not notice. Then, his expression lights up and he says, “I last saw him with Madam Yukong! They’re probably at the Starskiff Haven.” “Thanks, Yanqing,” You smile, one hand reaching out to away wipe the dirt on his face as you spoke. Yanqing’s hand quickly darts up his face, replacing yours. With a voice tinged with shame, he says, “You better hurry or you might miss him.”

⇢ When you arrived at Starskiff Haven, the docks were filled with other officials within the Sky-Faring Commission. You peeked between the crowd, looking for him— looking for a hint of that light hair, and straining your ears to pick up the sound of his voice.

⇢ It was difficult to look around. There were far too many people blocking your line of sight, and he was likely right up front, unconsciously commanding attention like he always has. 

⇢ And so, you turned around, opting to wait for the crowds to dwindle instead.

⇢ As you turned around, you bumped into someone. Before you could apologize, realization dawned upon you. You open your mouth soundlessly, unsure of where to start.

“Looking for someone?” Jing Yuan says, a playful smile on his face. You quickly rushed in for a hug, engulfing him in your arms. He stumbles back a little in surprise, momentarily stunned before returning the embrace. “Missed me that much?” He teases you as you melt into his arms. “You have no idea.” You reply, holding him even tighter. A laugh escapes his lips as one of his hands combs through your hair. He breathes in deeply and replies in a voice low enough that only you can hear, “I missed you too.”

Blade

⇢ Worries filled your head the moment you heard that Blade was captured by the Cloud Knights.

⇢ Kafka was quick to wave it off when the news hit, laughing as she does so. It did little to dissuade your worries.

“Oh, Bladie’s fine,” She quickly says, her voice a little more gentle this time. “Don’t worry about it, [name]. It’s all going according to plan.” “Plan,” you incredulously echo. Kafka nods as she turns to one of the screens, projecting an image of the planet. “After all, he’s already gotten away.” “Huh?” You stand up, your chair dragging on the floor with a loud noise. “What’s he doing now, then?” The half-grin Kafka gives you answers none of your questions.

⇢ With that, you breathe out a sigh of relief. Kafka had already plotted to go to Xianzhou Loufu herself— something about fulfilling what Elio had foreseen. None of which you’re allowed to know, but the fact that she’d be there reassures you.

⇢ You find yourself resting a lot easier. You return to your duties, significantly less bothered.

⇢ …Until a certain someone lets it slip that Kafka has gotten captured by the Divination Commission’s Master Diviner.

⇢ The entire situation spelled trouble; Blade had a nasty habit of meddling in fights involving any other members of the Stellaron Hunters. Hell, that’s how you met him first. But not only that, you worried about what information the commission could read on Kafka, and what they could possibly do to her.

“I’ll come get her myself,” You grit your teeth. Sam laughs, “Hey, don’t be rash. It’s all going—” “According to plan,” You finish, irritation audible in your voice. “That’s what you’re going to say, right?” “…Going to be alright, then,” Sam offers a sleazy smile. “Better?”

⇢ Right as you were briskly walking to the teleporters— followed by Sam who refused to let you go— a loud noise rattles the headquarters and lights flicker on and off for a second before stabilizing once more.

⇢ You rush to the source of the noise and was met with the sight of him dusting his clothes off, clicking his tongue. Meanwhile, Kafka sat beside Silver Wolf, amused as she watches Blade move.

⇢ When Blade meets your eyes, his expression somewhat relaxes. But he doesn’t spare you a greeting as you unconsciously scan his person; your eyes narrow at the new set of bandages wrapped around his arm. He then walks out of the room, pushing past Sam.

⇢ Looking around and at the three hunters looking at you expectantly, you sigh and turn to follow Blade.

⇢ He quickly walks through the halls and disappears behind the automatic doors of his room. You hasten your steps, and when the doors open for you, he’s seated at the foot of his bed, in the progress of removing his top.

⇢ He silently glances up to look at you and his hands stop working on his clothes. Instead, he leans back a little, propping himself up with one elbow against the bed and his free hand motioning for you to come closer.

⇢ You follow him and find a seat on top of his lap. You wrap your arms around him, breathing out as you feel his warmth once more.

Blade’s arm snakes around your waist, pulling you even closer.  A jolt of electricity moves through your spine as he moves lower to press kisses on your neck. He murmurs against your skin, “Missed me?” “Yes,” You whisper. You feel his mouth curve up in a smile at your reply. And he leaves it unsaid as he kisses you, his lips meeting yours; I missed you, too. 

Gepard

⇢ From the very start, you understood what Gepard’s line of work meant and you admired him for it.

⇢ But there was also the fact that there were days that were truly rough for him. He is a skilled fighter but there were still days when he’d come home wounded and tired. And you knew that he always means to be careful– he hated to see you look so worried and distraught– but his work comes first before anything.

⇢ And with his position in his work, it was all the more riskier. ‘To fight for Belobog is an honor,’ they said, but it sure didn’t feel like one whenever Gepard comes home to you and you’d see him injured. 

⇢ Fortunately, those days were sparse.

⇢ But suddenly, there were orders for the Silvermane Guards to be dispatched outside the city. Length of stay? Indefinite. They were to remain there until they’ve completely eliminated the threat of Automaton Beasts— machines that might as well be pests with the way they never seem to never run out. 

⇢ You felt somewhat assured that Gepard can handle the threat; he told you things like these were a walk in the park for him.

⇢ It was the distance that troubled you, as well as the intense cold outside the city. You vividly remember your early teen years, when you’d curiously explore the vast, snowy plains and shivered as you moved.

“Be careful,” You told Gepard as his hand hovers over the doorknob. “Stay safe, alright?” Gepard throws a glance behind his shoulder and looks at you with a small smile. “I’ll try.” You give him an unamused scoff, which only makes the smile on his face grow. Then, he gives in and says, “I’ll contact you as much as I can.” Slowly, a tiny smile also appears on your face.

⇢ Days turn into a week. He’d occasionally call you at around dinner time, checking in on you and chatting about trivial matters. You’d ask about how his mission is going, and he’d tell you the same thing he usually does: “It’s going great. Don’t worry, [name].”

⇢ But one night, the clock ticks past dinner time and you stare hard enough at your phone that you could almost launch it flying with just your gaze.

⇢ After a while, you pick up your phone— it works two ways, doesn’t it? But it only rings, and rings, and rings.

⇢ You told yourself to not worry about it too much; he was probably simply occupied for the night. He deserved and earned his rest.

⇢ Until it extends to four nights of silence. Four nights of not hearing his voice, not knowing what’s happened to him. Nothing.

⇢ At this point, you had wanted to march right out of the city walls once more, just like what you had done before. But you snapped back to reality the more you thought about it— you didn’t want to give the guards another thing to worry about, another to look out for.

⇢ Instead, all you could do is sigh discontentedly as you stare into your phone, waiting and waiting and waiting.

⇢ Seven days had passed since you last heard from Gepard. An entire week of waiting for news– waiting for anything at all– to tell you that he’s alright.

⇢ Then, as you walk through the city to quickly shop for more rice, you overheard a conversation between some guards within the city.

“—the captain.” “How long?” “I have no idea. Apparently, they’ve run into one of the biggest ones and sent his subordinates back to camp with one foot in the grave.” “So he’s fighting it alone?” “One at a time, yeah, I think. Chipping away at it. But it has been like, what? A week? Who knows how much longer it’ll be?” “Right,” The guard nods. “It could take him a year if he just kept going by himself instead of mobilizing his juniors.” “You know the captain. He’s not that type of person.”

⇢ You stumble back home, sick to your stomach.  Gepard– the sweet, kind, caring man that he is and you fell for– had been fighting alone, all for the sake of his subordinates.

⇢ Right as you were about to get your phone to call Serval, the person you know would understand, you saw some guards and paramedics within the city walk in packs through the window.

⇢ Curiously, you peek out. Suddenly, hope and dread both fill your stomach as you see lines of guards– Gepard’s subordinates– start to litter the streets and go en route to the nearest medical bay.

⇢ You quickly rush outside your home and trail behind them, anxious to see their captain, your Gepard.

God. Dear god, it was not easy being in this position.

What position, you ask? Well, sitting in awkward silence beside your co-worker and long-time crush, Blade. And not just any awkward silence— it was awkward silence just between the two of you as you board a ship. The vessel was empty save for the two of you as you traverse the wide skies.

And despite this privacy… despite you having looked forward to this, the excitement amounted to nothing. You were excited at the thought of being on a mission with Blade and Blade alone; you nearly pumped your fist at the thought of having your crush all to yourself for a few days.

But after having stepped into the vessel and sitting down on the comfortable cushion, what greeted you two were only silence.

“Good morning,” You recall greeting him earlier as you two step into the ship.

And Blade’s response? A mere “Mhm.”

‘Mhm.’ What the hell were you supposed to do with that?!

Still thinking of how to recover from that response, your eyes trace over his features, trying to be as discreet as possible— you knew he had sharp sight, and he’d definitely notice you gawking at him if you let your gaze linger for a beat longer.

Avoiding staring for too long, you take in his appearance through glances. 

His eyes are thankfully glued to the screen of his phone. Reading something, maybe? Ah, it didn’t matter. All you could think about was how he smelled like fresh laundry, how his long, dark hair shone, and how the way the sun hits him only made him all the more tantalizing.

Yes, that’s the word. Tantalizing. So close, yet so far. Sitting beside you, but he might as well be oceans away. Not only that, but he acknowledges you approximately once a week ever since you started working here— but that’s better than the treatment everyone else gets, you think. He gives you a polite nod in acknowledgement every time, probably remembering you as the lady who once organized a whole archive of tangled wires within the headquarters; a mess courtesy of Silver Wolf’s headache-inducing mini versions being complete menaces and unleashing hell within the room.

You inwardly groan. What a bland, boring, and terrible first impression. Couldn’t you have picked something cooler to do when he first casts his gaze on you? You damn nearly melted when his eyes shifted towards you that day, all while a mess of wires was around you.

Ah, his gaze… there was something about it, you thought as you look at the soft curve of his eyelashes. You’ve heard of him before you’ve even seen him. Affectionately nicknamed ‘Bladie’ by Kafka, Xianzhou swordsman, all that. You figured: he’d definitely be someone terrifying. Maybe even akin to a hideous beast. Oh, how much easier your life would be if that was the case. Instead, when you meet his eyes, your knees weakened. What a damn cliche. You thought things like that only happened in movies; the cold and emotionally constipated Gary Stu love interest sparkles the fuck out of the female lead, and romance follows.

Now, you see, the thing here is that you were not one of those female leads. And… well, whether or not Blade is a Gary Stu love interest is something that will remain a mystery forever, it seems. You’ve been sparkled into oblivion without even being the female lead. A side of you jeers, how pathetic.

“Shut up,” You grumbled, the words accidentally being spoken aloud.

“About time you spoke,” Blade says, his deep voice nearly making you jolt. He doesn’t even look up from his phone as he continues, “You’ve been looking at me for a while now.”

“Ah,” You sheepishly reply, trying to think of an explanation. Oh, sorry for spacing out into your face, Sir Blade, it was just too pretty for me to not look at! By the way, did you know I’ve had a crush on you for a while now? Ha-ha!

You wanted to smack yourself. Pulling yourself together, you say, “I was… just thinking.”

“Thinking.” He repeats.

‘Do not make this any more difficult for me or my heart will literally leap out my chest,’ you wanted to say. Instead, you opt for, “Yes, thinking about… the mission.”

“The mission.” He repeats once more, his expression changing into one of slight— just the slightest bit of— amusement.

Am I talking to an echo? You think. Instantly, the corner of Blade’s mouth tugs up into a half-smile—

“No, you’re not,” Blade says.

You blink. “What?”

“You asked if you were talking to an echo. You’re not.”

Heat travels up your face. “Sorry.”

Blade’s expression changes into that of… something unreadable along with amusement. He asks in what seems to be mock concern, “What were you thinking of?”

Still yet to recover from his reaction, you try to find the words in your head.

What a pain, you thought as you finally realize what that expression on his face is— the face of someone teasing.

rules

( i ) please do not rush me in requests; i am a uni student who only writes on the side, and for fun

( ii ) i do not write dark content (see: incest, s.a., s.h., and the like). however, i don't condone harassment over consumption of fictional media. aka: please do not involve me in anti/pro debates. it's not my job to police what other people consume.

( iii ) my activity might be sporadic.

( iv ) requests sent will be finished within 1-8 days of sending! i try to work as fast as i can

what will you write?

✦ women in media...! i love writing all sorts of genres. i also write for male characters, of course.

✦ i will only write afab reader x character. gender will not always be specified, but anatomy will follow afab reader if need to be mentioned. however, i try to avoid it in order to be as inclusive as possible.

✦ i may also write character x character every now and then, but i won't be posting it often.

✦ my favorite characters: fu xuan, kafka, blade. kokomi, sara, scaramouche, albedo, xiao. suguru, choso, yuuta.

what will you not write?

✧ self-harm, incest, abuse, noncon, scat, vomit, omorashi, etc. you get the picture

✧ romantic content of 'child model' characters of genshin (ie: diona, klee, etc), clara, bailu, hook, yanqing. they will be written in a platonic and/or familial way.