Tips for Successful Arguing
1. Pay attention to time and place. Itās better to deal with things privately, and when neither person is stressed, or pushed for time.
2. Be respectful ā and give thought to the words that you are using. Donāt attack, blame or shame or use profane, abusive language. (Often āitās not what you say; itās the way that you say it.ā)
3. Donāt just pile on the negatives, or list all your grievances, hurts and complaints. Make sure you mention things you are grateful for, and things that are good, and are not going wrong.
4. Try to keep to the topic or your point will lose its focus. Itās easier to deal with one thing at a time.
5. Related to this, try to be specific ā and not vague and general. Also, name the emotions you are feeling at the time. I
6. Keep control of your emotions, and try to stay calm. Very little will be gained if you start to lose your cool.
7. Itās not about winning and being seen as being right. The goal should be āimproving your relationshipā
8. Finally, remember that anger often masks and covers hurt ā and is actually a sign that the personās seeking love. So work on building empathy and deepening your love.
