My man and I have a bond I’ve been told is weird and rare, but it’s ours. In the beginning, when we started to build our bond we decided long ago that transparency, honesty, and friendship would be the foundation of our relationship. This meant many difficult conversations and moments between us but we pushed through. Although we were friends before we ever started dating, we were journeying into territory that required more on each end. We learned each other inside and out in addition to what we already knew about the other before hand. Anything that you’d normally fear telling a significant other we shared. Our motto has always been no matter what and friends first. This means that we will always have each other’s backs no matter what comes our way, good or bad. And that anything we weather together always remember that we are friends first. This tends to keep things in perspective. It gives each of us a safe space with the other, we became each other’s sanctuary. It allows the honesty between us that most couples seek to have within their relationships because it erases the fear of judgement, or at least in our case it did.
With this foundation in place he taught me how to love unconditionally. There wasn’t a thing I could say or do that would alter his view of me and vice versa. Once this was solid we started venturing more into exploring our sexuality together. We discussed threesomes, being swingers, open relationships, and we even entertained a few conversations with other couples on making some of these things happen. We decided that threesomes were more fulfilling for us and that’s what we enjoyed doing together. We loved meeting new women, together or individually, and eventually bringing them home to each other for us all to hang out and, of course, have sex. Yes, I guess you could say it was somewhat of an open relationship at one point. However, we always discussed everything with each other and I do mean EVERYTHING. I think that’s what brought us closer as friends and made us stronger as a couple, the open and honest conversations that come with dealing with outside people. You hear things you don’t like or want to hear but allow the other person to speak their truth. It’s something about knowing a person is CHOOSING you day in and day out, without being coerced, forced, or pushed to do so. They just genuinely want you through it all.
Ultimately, this lead to us having the conversation about having another girlfriend. I liked this idea. It transitioned me from wanting amazing flings to wanting an amazing woman to share what he and I had built with each other. I got tired of the flings that ended up just wanting me or him; I truly wanted to find someone that would be open to being with us both for more than just a good time. Thus, starting our search for a girlfriend who would equally want and love us both. This did not come easy. It was actually, by far, the most frustrating yet interesting journey ever lol. However, I believe it was worth it. It’s a lot like dating around until you find the right fit. You have to go through the bad to find the good, right?
