my escape

it’s one of those nights again. the kind where you can feel the sadness and anxiety in your stomach. the kind where you want to yell and scream and cry because nothing is okay and you aren’t sure it ever will be. the kind where you stare at your scars, wanting to make more. just to feel something other than this ache. it is nights like this that make me terrified to keep living.

is it weird that I missed this? I missed the skinny photos and the counting and the control and the numbers going down and the fasting and the light-headedness and the ice water on an empty stomach and this is hideous, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but good lord don’t it feel like coming home?

it’s so sad seeing how fast people lose interest in me

I still expected something from you, how naive I am

Have the courage to say what you think. Don't cover yourself in that fragile wall of assumptions

I just realized that I don’t know how to fucking love myself. It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever said.

if you’re reading this i hope you find the strength to get through whatever it is that’s causing you so much trouble or pain at the moment