BLACK shaped BOX

No one knows when you sit at the kitchen table, on a monday morning crying your eyes out... these moments you are truly alone. There is no one except yourself.

But there is a but its because I know there are things I want to do but when the pain comes it hurts so much that it is intoxicating, hard to swallow, it feels like everything ceases up. Everything that wants to come out  is too primal, crazed to allow someone, anyone to see. So I keep it inside locked away as best I can till it comes next time and maybe destroy me again.

Asking normal people (who have not been to the very depths of there fears), its just not the same. They lack that thing to understand, too judgemental, too closed minded. In order to understand not in theory but practically.

how do we do it? I have been off my meds for 4 months, it seems you feel like your doing ok than you have these moments which are so disheartning. I HATE THIS SO MUCH its a big fight biggest fight

Im tired of waking up.

This is a sad sad place to be living in. Why we choose to? Is because the word Hope exists.

I gave myself a second chance thinking & feeling this will be ok..... turns out should of kept my lil ol heart & care to myself. Fuck love & the prision it traps you in. I'd rather live a life full of other shit than to feel like this again.