𝔄𝔫𝔡𝔯𝔬𝔤𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔐𝔦𝔫𝔡

Its like there was ground under me that just vanished

Nothing crumbled or gave way

All at once I was in perpetual freefall

And all there is to do is to get used to that dropping in my stomach and the wind blowing loudly around me at all times

I want it to stop but there's nothing to grab onto, I barely have an impression of direction

Just nothing underneath my feet

I don't believe this

I can't believe I could even do something like this

Regret doesn't explain how I feel

They just come tumbling out of my mouth

Sheepish and grinning

Giddy to share

And when we speak I can never say enough

My mouth is like your hands

Outpaced and eager

Inexplicable, incomparable

I yearned to speak in native tongues

I thought I might forget what it sounded like to be understood

And then I heard you speaking my language

Try as I may to keep my knees off the ground

My devotion is pathetic

But I am without shame

You are worthy of such things

Selfishness has never come easier

I want to be missed

And craved

And thought of frequently

And I am reminded how ugly I look when my eyes turn green

And love may well have been a stranger before I learned how to tease a smile out of you

It's as though I need touch as evidence

My hands are the only way of proving you're not too good to be true

Every day I wanted to love you like you were long gone

That was the plan

And I already miss the smell of you that'll linger on me after I hug you that last time

Drafting and drafting over and over

Feebly attempting to embody you with paper and ink

Falling short with every new shuffle of words

The most delightful futility

Trying to capture a feeling too good to describe

And when I see you without your glasses

And I'm reminded how big your eyes really shine

I can feel my soul pressing its face up against its two little windows