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Paulie sees how people dress up their cats and dogs for holidays and decides that he has to do that with Hattori. He makes all of the outfits himself (they aren't the best but they are cute), makes an Instagram, and starts posting.
Lucci doesn't find out for weeks.
He only finds out because Kaku wasn't quick enough to hide his phone when he was showing Kalifa the newest photos from MrHattori.
Lucci stares blankly at the photo of his pigeon wearing a snowflake shawl and a matching hat. It's got tens of thousands of likes and he's just. Confused.
He calls Paulie, still confused.
"I just thought I would dress up our child! Doesn't he look adorable?"
Lucci hangs up without saying anything and collapses into the nearest chair. Meanwhile, Kaku and Kalifa are trying to leave the room as quietly as possible because they most certainly heard a certain word and Lucci looks close to snapping.
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Why are SOME female readers SOOOOO offended by the idea of male readers/writers? 💀 Isn't the majority of the "x reader" stories centered around the female audience?
Why are YOU complaining about a creator not wanting to write fics for female readers, despite there being other fics out there that revolve around a female reader? What point are YOU trying to make to shame a gay person for writing gay love when there isn't many to read? HOW IS IT AFFECTING YOUR DAILY ROUTINE AND FANFICTION IN GENERAL?!?!?!
Telling creators a character is not queer and being continuously bitchy over it won't stop them from making fics of that character. There is no such thing as being "underrepresented" and "oppressed" by just ONE fic 🤦
Stop complaining about homosexuality. Start minding your hetero business. ✌️
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A/N - My friend sent me a post about how La Squadra + Bucci Gang play Kahoot and it was so BAD and it made me so irritated that I'm doing my own AHHAHAH.. Yeah I did all 3 groups lmao.
Here's the picture, no hate to whoever made it like.. 7 years ago but holy mischaracterisation it hurts my feelings...
♡ Headcannons ♡
Word Count - 1400
Polpo - Makes all of the Kahoot's... And sends them to the groups before he hosts them. Being in jail is pretty boring sometimes so he wants to do SOMETHING... Why he chose Kahoot? He doesn't have time to explain what he doesn't have time to explain.
Bruno - Not the best, not the worst. He didn't go to school so his book smarts aren't amazing, nor is his pop culture knowledge but he does knows more about general things, when it comes to things outside of his basic knowledge he'll just make an educated guess.
Abbacchio - Unironically a lot smarter than people take him to be, not only did he go to school but also police academy, sometimes deliberately gets the questions wrong because he doesn't want to tutor any of the group. When the questions are more stupid, he's more willing to mess around and answer correctly.
Narancia - Says "I know this one!" And 60% of the time gets it wrong, he's clearly having the most fun out of all of them. But when it's more subject based he struggles because even if he knows the answer the timer usually runs out because he second guesses that he does know it... No Fugo doesn't get mad at him, it's a game.
Mista - Playing accidentally becomes exposure therapy because he's having a lot of fun with the meme questions that he isn't even thinking about that he has to pick between 4 answers. He might be silly sometimes but he is actually pretty book smart and good with pop culture, general knowledge he's just making guesses and just doesn't care if it's wrong.
Fugo - Answers quicker than anyone else and like 30% of the time he's wrong because he immediately realises the answer AFTER he picked the wrong one. For a while he gets insanely uncomfortable at the thought that he's going to be wrong but when no one scolds him or gets mad that he isn't doing the best, he starts to just enjoy it.
Giorno - it's a 50/50 if he knows the answers, he's good at some subject questions but when it comes to more silly questions he gets them wrong most of the time because how is he supposed to know the difference between all of these movies they keep talking about? Give this man a math question and he'll out answer the rest of the team every single time.
Trish - Only gets pop culture questions right and doesn't care if any tutoring questions come up, has complained multiple times if it's boring questions that "No one knows the answer to" Everyone but her knew the answer... She just hates thinking that hard when it's about a game, and she audibly groans if it's crime or mafia related. Has absolutely said "Yeah, we get it... You're criminals, can we talk about movies now?"
Risotto - Is more interested in just listening to the rest of the team freak out and panic about the answers than answering himself, his answers are mostly right but when he doesn't know the answer he just kinda presses one and hopes for the best. Doesn't speak much but he looks softer than he usually does.
Melone - He gets banned from making the game immediately when he puts a quadratic equation question and Formaggio made him small for 4 hours out of spite, he's annoyingly good at any smart question... Less so when they're about pop culture in any way because he could not care less about movies and celebrities.
Ghiaccio - Accidentally becomes the most annoying person ever if one of the answers is wrong in the game, especially if it's spelt wrong. He doesn't get mad about it but becomes the "Um... Achktually, it's spelt with a U." Type of guy. He gets most of the answers right but the second one comes up he doesn't know he's glancing around at the others like... Who the fuck is Tom Cruise. He has a particular set of interests, movies are not it...
Formaggio - He's weirdly good at it. When it comes to pop culture most of the questions he gets right, while also leaning onto Ghiaccio when he's confused so he can explain who the actors are and what they've been in. When it comes to more book smart questions he could not care less, sometimes he knows the answer but he doesn't really complain if he does get them wrong.
Pesci - Tries WAY too hard, is always in the top 3 because not only does he have book smarts, but he watches a lot of movies since he doesn't get sent out on missions. If he gets a question wrong he panics internally that it means getting snapped at or worse, but when he realises he won't it becomes less performative and more just having a good time.
Prosciutto - Unironically he's in the bottom most of the time, he might be relatively book smart but he thinks himself as "better" for not watching shows and movies as much as the others. Sometimes he likes to watch things but he'd much prefer to read, he absolutely says this when someone memes on him for being in last... But he's weirdly having a fun time even if he sucks.
Illuso - Pretends he couldn't care less... But he's trying the hardest, he gets SO competitive about it because he wants to prove himself even if it doesn't matter in the slightest. He usually is sitting around the middle of the leader board because he's only good with books or music and everything else he doesn't care about and doesn't mind getting wrong... But he's pissed when he chooses the wrong answer.
Sorbet - Him and Gelato were banned from sitting next to each other because they were always top 2 every single game... They're still in top 4 together almost all of the time and everyone is adamant they're cheating but can't prove it... But oh man they complain a lot and accuse them. He's very good at book smarts and knows the answers long before anyone else does and just... Watches the chaos of everyone freaking out about him answering within a second.
Gelato - Not the worst at generic knowledge questions but he's insanely good at pop culture, like... Scarily good, but also he somehow is never caught watching movies or listening to music. They're both absolutely cheating... They use morse code to give the answer to each other but no one has a single clue how they do it. And no one ever will... They're so stealthy and smart about it that eventually the team stop bothering to figure it out, they just never crack under the pressure of interrogation... Obviously LMAO.
Doppio - Looks like he's barely even paying attention, but he's listening and watching EVERYONE else, he's really not caring about the questions but rather using the as recon while Diavolo nudges him to the correct (or what he believes to be correct) answers. Doppio definitely plays up the "Oh... I'm not very smart" act, most of his answers are wrong but it only adds to the façade so he doesn't care.
And NO he doesn't use something as a phone, when will people understand he doesn't need to do that to hear Diavolo, it's just a way for Dia to play into that he isn't part of Doppio.
Diavolo - Will never be seen playing, ever. If he does play himself he's not in the room and would never be nearby. He doesn't care at ALL about using Epitaph to cheat either, it's not that big of a deal to him to be seen as smart so why would he bother? It might be enjoyable to him to play occasionally but it's not competitive to him.
Tiziano - Oh boy, they're the most annoying people to play with, welcome to the stand that cried "IT'S B", he gives Squalo Talking Head and lets him say whatever the answer is slightly too loud while taking. Some of the answers Squalo gives are right, but because he gives the wrong ones 60% of the time people start second guessing their own answers. Tiz doesn't care about actually playing the game, he just wants everyone else to fail.
Squalo - Is actually pretty smart about answering, it was his idea in the first place to use Tiz's stand just to be an asshole. He's subtly (not so subtly) giving Tiziano the answers but he really doesn't care about winning in the first place but they always end up as top of the board... And also top of the "Don't invite these fucking guys again" list.
Ciocolatta - He's pretty much always in the top 2 of the leader board, does he himself know the answers? Not even a little, hell he didn't even look at the question. He's just paying attention to everyone else and psychoanalysing them to see which ones they picked and how confident they are about it. No one even knows that he's cheating, and they're too afraid to accuse him if they do.
Secco - He's both so smart and so dumb... He knows the answers most of the time but his mind won't actually connect the answer correctly because of the trauma to his brain. When he gets one right he glances over for Cioccolata's reaction for that little smile that he did it right. He doesn't get praised for getting them right, but it still makes him feel super happy to know he did good.
Carne - Very good at pop culture, not the best at everything else. He gets bored pretty easily because he can't really banter back and forth with everyone else, but for a little while he's enjoying being involved in the game... He's just happy he even got invited because he forgets people can actually perceive him.
Already done parts 4,5,6 now it's part 3, of course hcs and ships down below! (Kinda n/sfw on Dan's/N'Douls but it's nothing really tbh)
☆ jotaro is mlm, he didn't have crushes so he didn't really have to worry about his preference untill he met and developed a crush on kakyoin, who he never confessed to untill it was too late. He would come out much later with the divorce w his (now ex) wife and when jolyne is grown up. he's still doesn't date a lot, sure one night stand here and there.
^ Yes, his heart will always be with the boy made in Japan
☆ kakyoin is bi with no preference, He did have crushes but he never dated. I think he had a crush on holly first then later it tuned into a crush on jotaro (by no minds this is holly/kakyoin block me if u ship it, I just think kakyoin having a small crush on holly is cute). I don't think he ever came out to his parents before he died, it was in fear of them being unsupported but a another reason of why he never told them is bc they are the type of people where they don't talk about feeling hell, kakyoin isn't sure if they even had feeling for one another for how much they don't talk about it
☆ polnareff is a open book, he'll tell you if u asked and hell say he's pan. He just wants someone to love and to love him back, and he get small crushes fast but it takes him a while to fall in loveeee
☆ avdol is bi with a slight male lean. he was very lucky to have a open and supportive family, tho he knows the struggle of being this way and will help someone who's in a bad spot. He takes him a while for him to get a crush but oh he is the SWEETEST when he does get one
^ he had a crush on polnareff
☆ hol horse...realistically hell be the only straight student in gay school, buttt.... I want a piece of him so he's bi for now on. Hol is the type of guy who would unknowingly develop a crush on a guy and then have a full time gay panic
^ and I also like him w polnareff
☆ mariah is straight, sure she had a little fling with a women in her younger days but she really only likes men (has a horrible habit of being attracted to horrible men, she needs go find a better type fr). Mostly goes for powerful men she finds power sexy (and the richest that come w it, which same girl)
☆ steely dan is bi and ftm, hes the WORST trans guy youll ever meet (yes even worse than prosciutto). Dan is also a WHORE even before he came out and he got pregnant (multiple times, he does NOT believe no glove no love) and one baby is that white haired guy from part 4 (I forgot his name)
^ the first ever ftm absent father everyone!
☆ N'Doul is pan but he only realizes it when he mets dio, and that open a whole new world for him I mean look at bro ✌️😭
Ik his shit was straight PULSING
☆ Daniel J. D'Arby is the straight guy that u think is gay and horrible but in reality he's straight and horrible. He doesn't understand why people think hes gay (tho he does love it when gay men flirt w him) like his brother is the clear gay one not him!! He promises!!
^ sounds closeted ngl
☆ Terence T. D'Arby is mlm but he's just done with the gay community, being around dio and vanilla ice will give u second hand embarrassment (fully towards vanilla) like he was fully ready for a fun gay time but nope he basically became the maid and even sometimes an babysitter when everyone of dios agents was meeting
^ that punk ass baby, fuck that baby and death 13 too
☆ vanilla ice....God lordd. he's mlm and is very much down bad for dio, like he is in LOVE w dio (dio will fall in love w him too, trust) and I do make fun of him but dio did in fact lets him hit ✌️😔
☆ iggy is homophopic
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NOTES : omg this took me so long ✌️😭, I had nothing for everyone that wasn't kakyoin but I think I cooked for some of these
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Manga Ris&anime Ris&anime Pro. Inspired but not related to @carboncat0 ‘s RRP fic on AO3. Pro is stuck with two bodyguards for now, but he’s too prideful to admit that he’s not complaining😎
I’d really like to finish this but before that happens I’m just posting the sketch so I don’t forget✊
