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Do you think Wekapipo and Magenta Magenta have gave each other head or handjob? But not because they like each other. Opposite actually. Like hate handjob.
I did golden wind for pride now it's Stone oceans turn!! And of course my ships will bc added
☆ jolyne was straight untill being in that jail cell. She kept telling her self that she was straight but being around ermes and ff didn't help with the straight act, now she's proudly pan!! (with a women/anything but a man lean)
☆ ermes, THE #1 LESBIAN OF JOJO LET GO LESBIANS‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🗣. She always knew and was out for most of her life but she always had short relationships, she did wanted to find the women for her but that wasn't in her cards untill she met a certain jojo and an plankton
☆ Foo fighters is a non binary lesbian, (goes by they/her). They of course being plankton for most of their life didn't have much relationship experience especially with humans...poor thing didn't know ANYTHING before dating jolyne and ermes 😭🙏
^ last bf was plankton from SpongeBob
☆ Anasui is bi and poly, this man falls in love FAST AND HARD. He was already dating weather report and he was determined to have jolyne to join the group (HE GUESS he'll allow the other 2 to join if they want 🙄)
^ In a deleted scene from part 6 when we met west and anasui, anasui was in west's lap. Sorce : trust me
☆ weather report...lord he does NOT care, he's yours if ya want him but you have to make it absolutely CLEAR you want him or he wont notice (hes autistic he cant help it 💔) , that's how after a while of being very flirty, anasui got him and trust me it was a show to WATCHHH
☆ pucci is Aromantic, he had strange feelings for dio (NOT A SHIPPPP I DONT PLAY LIKE THAT), he knew it wasn't love or romantic..it felt like a need, a reason to live, pucci has felt love, he loved his family, his sister.. but never felt romantic love nor did he have a need for it
☆ Straight copy and paste for the sons of dio hc I did bc I'm lazy 😭🙏 ☆ (with added info!)
☆ rikiel is mlm,I only seen gay bottoms wear full cow print fits. he been closeted, hiding his bf and anything that even gave the hint from his family and from few of the friends he had and would probably sadly still be in the closet for the rest of his life. (HE DATED SPORT MAX BEFORE HE WENT TO JAIL AND THATS WHY HE TARGETED ERMES, HE WAS DIH WHIPPPPED)
☆ versus is that homophopic bi guy like u saw him shitting on gay people and the next day u see him aggressively making out with a dude (me). But he can never stay in a long time relationship (besides from me) bc he either cheats, or randomly sends a break up text no reason (he wouldn't do this to me btw, he'll do it to yall tho). He also doesn't have a type, you just gotta be hot to him and be a bit of a push over (me)
☆ ungalo does not care about what's in the pants if they hot and like him back hes all in. And The worst part is...that he gets more play than all of us, YES ALL OF US (he is dios son after all, and it's Florida)
☆ sport max is sadly apart of the LGBTQ community, he has slept with loads and loads of women and men. Tho rikiel was his only srs relationship but he actually has feeling even romantic feelings belive or not (has also put loads and loads in those women and men, he has multiple little sport maxes running around, we are shocked that sport hasn't broke nature and got rikiel pregnant)
☆ gwess is (SHOULD HAVE BEEN A JOBRO IDC SHES A JOBRO TO ME), bi . Yes she tried to get with jolyne and yes she got shut down FAST, she believes she can flirt like a goddess buts far from the truth. She often comes of creepy and a freak which she's flirting with the wrong people she needs a REALLL freak4freak
☆ Johngalli A (yes he's here but I can't say no to a man with a good ass), is mlm. He doesn't have a type in looks but in personally he's looking for a man who's strong and loyal, and won't mind helping him the few times he needs it (he may be a stand user but he's still blind)
^ I saw a ship fanart of him and n'doul and...hear me out, blind4blind (I just know they would be a SCARY pair)
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NOTES : I got some rare pairs omg 😭🙏
But I did have fun doing these, I'm planning doing rest of the parts but some of them will probably be after pride month knowing me 💔💔
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could you please do la unita or la squadra (whichever you choose is fine!) with child!reader who is basically a mini cioccolata? same personality but maybe a bit more monotone and same interests.
btw i hope you’re having a great day! wishing you much luck this year!!
La Squadra x Chioccolata-Like Child Reader
No one was really excited when they found out about the mystery member joining la squadra
Who needs another rookie who can’t even hold the gun properly
And who needs a rookie who is a CHILD
The squad has no idea for what reason boss has sent them a kid to babysit
Prosciutto had a lot of discussions with Risotto when you arrived
Because what a KID is gonna do in assassination squad?
But some of the guys started noticing.. something weird about you
One time you were watching a show about serial killers with Formaggio
At some point it got so boring that you started explaining him how hiding a body in cement was counterproductive
Okay sure he was a bit startled hearing that from a kid
But I mean, children can just repeat what adults say
Illuso started suspecting something that time when you were staring at a dead mouse
“..You okay kid?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I just wish I had a scalpel with me right now”
Pesci felt really bad for you when you two first met
Poor kid, all alone
So he always made sure to include you in everything, and trying to hang out with you
Because of that he got maaaaany interesting questions from you
“So, you usually like shooting a person in the head, or you prefer them to suffer for a bit and then kill them?”
“..Wha-”
Those are basically the situations when they found out you’re a bit.. odd
But I mean it makes sense
There’s no point in sending a kid who’s normal to an assassin squad
Now in their eyes you’re officially promoted, congrats
Risotto now includes you in squad meeting, yippee
(You’re a pretty active participant there)
But still, no one really takes you to missions yet
But if they do, you’re usually paired with Melone
Because of his long-range stand you can be in relative safety (cuz no you’re still a kid, they’re not giving you a gun and sending you away even if you ask)
You’re pretty good friends with Ghiaccio too for some reason
He likes that you’re chill, a bit odd, yes, but aren’t we all
“I know over 200 ways how to kill a man”
“You could glue and open jar of rats to his face and blowtorch the other side of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face”
“..201”
Risotto and Prosciutto basically took you under their wing
You know, train you to be better
(Pros kinda prefers you to Pesci, not that much tho)
And you’re pretty chill with Risotto too, you match his energy well
I love arguing with my Rohan-lover friend about how I "hate" him (I don't actually hate him, I just think he doesn't deserve THAT much content, there are other side characters much more interesting than him tbh)
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Some silly Risotto hcs along w risopro bc I love them, kinda nsfw (it's really nothing but better safe than sorry)
☆ Outside risotto seems like an alpha male who's nonchalant and mysterious but inside is a very shy and awkward guy who's actually pretty chill (for a hitman) once u get to know him
☆ He's like one of those big ass dogs that are named something like destroyer of worlds but is a very nice dog
^ this all changes when he locks in
☆ He's awkward af like sometimes it's just painful of how socially awkward he can be
☆ Risotto was a werid ass looking baby and kid, he had a big head but a tiny body and his eyes was too big for his face and he would make HEAVY eye contact
☆ he was also very tiny when he was a kid, but once he hit teen years he GREWWWWW
☆ Risotto would find diegos and gyros joke hilarious, he loves cheesy jokes
☆ he's both a cat and dog person, he's likes all animals
^ tho if he has to chose it would be cats bc dogs are much louder (MY FUCKING DOGS ARE ACTING LIKE THEY HAVE NO SENSE OUTSIDE WHILE IM WRITING THIS)
☆ he has a very big attachment to his hat, nobody knows why but it's risotto so let him be
^ and you just know he's only taking that hat off when he's showing and it's in the washer, brother is SLEEPING in it
☆ prosciutto was his first EVERYTHING, date, kiss, relationship, and ya know what gays do 👀
^ Formaggio being the bro he is, got them together (bearly)
☆ Risotto nero is his actual name, he doesn't know how to feel when almost everyone in his life thinks it's a code name ( he got the name nero from his father polpo)
^ in earlier hcs I gave risotto an actual name but the more I thought of it, the more I like risotto nero being his actual name
☆ if u REALLY pay attention like in a really creepy way (prosciutto says other wise), risotto is expressive in a very subtle way like ik that makes zero sense but it will make less sense if I try to explain it
☆ Risotto has a strange habit of leaving a mark on most of the stuff he owns like the bells on his hat, his papers, underwear, prosciutto, his shower stuff and so on
☆ his playlist is a mix of metal, rock n roll, emo and gothic
^ along w some Industrial and visual k music
☆ his favorites colors are black, white and gold
☆ his little metallica beans are like mistas sex pistols but only he can hear them and they are 10x worse THEY DONT SHUT UPPPP 😭🙏
☆ HUGEEE sweet tooth, never trust this man around anything sweet w out calling dibs he will eat it (he'll ask of course, he's not an animal)
^ Risottos favorite sweets are strawberry cream cheese cake and Pixy Stixs
☆ prosciuttos LOVES risottos chest (I mean who doesn't??) His chest is prosciuttos pillow. Stress toy, scream silencer and etc etc
☆ risotto deeply cares for everyone in la squadra but prosciutto and Formaggio are one of the closest people in his life, his love and his brother from a different mother
^ I just read a fanfic on how risottos and Formaggio met in prison and my heart 💔💔 it was so good
☆ risotto has complicated feelings for his mother mariah and his father polpo, like he wants to hate them but he just fully can't. he's still that little boy longing for a hug from his parents (mommy AND daddy issues!?!? Pick a struggle)
☆ risotto even having bells on his hat is slient while moving and often accidentally scaring the reat in la squadra
^ he may or may not do it on purpose sometimes, especially to illuso who also purpose spooks the team
☆ melone when he first joined he tried to sleep w risotto and ris quickly shut that down
^ my goat ain't no cheater‼️
☆ is undefeated in darts nobody can beat him, They have tried and tried but he's truly unbeatable....(he cheats)
☆ base on looks, you think his favorite genre would be horror, well its on top of his list but risotto actuall favorite is those campy 80s moives
Kinda nsfw below ‼️
☆ he's the only one (- Gelato of course) who can have a full convo with sorbet with out being freaked out
☆ pesci was already scared when first joining la squadra at 15, and after seeing risotto...that poor boy was shaking a chinchilla 💔
☆ NOBODY KNOWS THIS BUT HE LIKES MLP, HIS FAVORITE IS RARITY BC SHE KINDA REMINDS HIM OF PROSCIUTTO
☆ risotto loves bdsm, for sex of course but he also likes looking into history of it and some unknown kinks and funfacts
^ hell fully explain CBT history like he's a historian on the History Channel
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NOTES : I need more la squadra content, I love them so much (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)
I also might do more prosciutto HeadCanons bc I love him
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Some Pazzesco (JJBA OC) and La Squadra interactions 🙏🙏 (my OC isn’t shipped with anyone in particular, he just has flirtatious tendencies and calls everyone “baby”)
Jolysui: “Haha I’m in love with you Jolyne noo I don’t care if you don’t like me back I’m going to literally harass you at every point until you like me back 🥺”
