Anti-Valentine’s Day Starters
Some taken from songs. Feel free to edit as needed!
“The only thing I care about is that on the 15th, all the candy will be half-off at the supermarket.”
“You promised me heaven, then put me through hell.”
“What’s even the point of trying to find someone at this point?”
“I swear if Cupid dares come near me I’m gonna punch that little sucker in the face.”
“Go on and just cry me a river!”
“It’s Singles Awareness Day, so be aware of me.”
“You told me you love me, why did you leave me all alone?”
“If I’ve learned anything from last year, Valentine’s Day sucks.”
“No way I’m going to that stupid Valentine’s dance, especially without a date!”
“My last breakup was really painful, I’m still recovering.”
“I’ve got to get away; you don’t really want anymore from me.”
“All that mushy-gushy stuff makes me wanna vomit!”
“I just really don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Who needs a boyfriend/girlfriend when I’ve got a friend like you?”
“Loving you isn’t the right thing to do.”
“I even made him/her a homemade valentine that says, ‘You’re dead to me.’”
“Whatever, you’re so much better off without him/her anyway.”
“This love has taken its toll on me.”
“Valentine’s Day is in a week and I just got dumped!”
“Why are all the candy hearts so sappy? I want one that says, ‘I hate you.’”
[text]: I just ran into my ex at the mall. Kill me.
[text]: I’ve been crying to Adele for the past hour, how are you?
[text]: I need someone to vent to about my ex. You up?
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