contributing to the chaos

when you go outside to feel the cool air wraps around you like an air conditioned room. sharing a lighter with other fans, letting them borrow your charger, waiting in the long line of a back drop of an industrial renovated venue in mysterious part of a city. the anxierty of getting all your items out of your pockets, bags, purse, bookbag, satchel for the detector. the graffied dive bars filled with stickers, flyers, posters, markings, notes, scratch bathroom mirrors. your clothes smell like smoke and weed, the heat of the spot light. shuffling through the crowd to get yourself a drink and for your friend. shuffling your way to see front stage. when you lock into someones arms during a mosh pit and doing your best to protect them. the concert ticket tucked away along with others as a mommento. self portaits with artists. getting your stuffed signed by them, shirts, albums, skin, merch, The rush of catching last bus/train home. car pooling back home, the audience singing along with the artist. the cathatic feeling of letting your aching body and feet rest. the interaction of the crowd, the witty comdeic jabs at the audience artists wanting vouleenters up stage. When everyone parts to see trash around. waking up to still see your soft paper concert wrist band still in the morning light Rückkehrunruhe n. the feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness—to the extent you have to keep reminding yourself that it happened at all, even though it felt so vivid just days ago—which makes you wish you could smoothly cross-dissolve back into everyday life, or just hold the shutter open indefinitely and let one scene become superimposed on the next, so all your days would run together and you’d never have to call cut. (From dictonary of obscure sorrows) 

unhealthy 4s annoy me so much because i was just like them.