bittersweet*

because my friends muses need therapy. will they get it? absolutely not. 

AVOIDING THE TERRIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN:  

“  yeah i’m pissed off but i’d rather not talk about it.  that’s why you’re the one i came to.  ”

“  i’m not looking for a friend.  i’m looking for someone just as angry as i am.  ”

“  i’m not good at caring about people’s shit on purpose.  ”

“  i’m not gonna ask if ‘you’re okay’ cause that’s fuckin’ annoying.  you wanna get the hell out of here and do something?  ”  

 “  i don’t wanna talk about it. you got a beer?  ”  

“  upset?  why would i be upset?  ”

“  so you wanna go find something to break?  ”  

“  hey you want me to kill that guy for you?  ”

“  i just need to get this shit done.  and i trust you to help me do that.  ”  

“  you’re hot.  and i’m bored.  ”  

“  can we just have some meaningless sex we can both pretend didn’t happen tomorrow morning?  ”

“  i can think of at least a dozen people that need killing.  or a light beating.  will that cheer you up?  ”

“  i’ve a got job and i think you’d be the perfect fit.  so you in?  ”

“  yeah i don’t do the whole crying thing.  give me something to stab and i’ll be good in a day or two.  ”

“  i banged it out and now i feel great.  next question.  ”

“  if i think about it,  i get angry.  and i don’t know where that anger stops.  so i’d rather not start at all.  ”

VARIOUS SENTENCES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO DEPTH U COWARDS: 

“  if you’re gonna stay here you can’t be sober so either take the fruity beer or the shitty wine or let me be vibe in peace.  ”

“  how much insect essence do you think are in every square inch of chocolate? like just how many cockroach guts have i consumed with my hershey’s? ” 

“  you should’ve seen the look on their face.  it’s been so long since i’ve made someone that fuckin’ angry it was great.  ” 

“  i have this neighbor who keeps playing driver’s license at 10 a.m. every morning and i’m starting to question if it’s a sixteen year old getting over a breakup or a 36 year old trying to reclaim their childhood. at this point the mystery is the only thing keeping me going.  ”

“  do i trust you?  absolutely not.  next question.  ”

“  if i don’t get a nap in the next hour i’ll probably murder someone.  ”

“  you’re getting that look in your eyes like you’re about to ask me what’s wrong so i’m gonna save us both the awkwardness of finding an excuse to leave and just go now.  ”

“  i’m here to raid your fridge cause my date went really bad and all i’ve had is lukewarm water and breadsticks.  ”

“  i’m making a fake tinder profile to see how gullible guys are, wanna help?  ”   

“  hey i got something for you look!  ”   *holds up middle finger* 

U MIGHT GET PUNCHED: 

“  why are you really here?  ”

“  i’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on.  ”

“  you can’t solve every problem with your fists.  ”  

“  i’m not here to talk about me.  what the hell is going on with you?  ”

“  you think i don’t notice but i do.  i can tell something’s wrong.  ”   

“  i can see beneath your smile.  ”

“  why won’t you just tell me the truth?  ”

“  what are you hiding? and don’t you dare try to lie to me. ”

“  what the hell did you do?  ”

(  dialogue  prompts  taken  the  first  3  volumes  of  the  spy  x  family  manga  by  tatsuya  endo.  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ a spy who loses his cool is a spy who’s about to lose his life. ❜

❛ a father is just another role to play. and i will play it to perfection. ❜

❛ you’ll be my child from now on. but as far as everyone else is concerned, you have always been my child. ❜

❛ it’s not an adventure, it’s just shopping. ❜

❛ i want a silenced pistol! ❜

❛ if we see one on sale. ❜

❛ holding hands will impair my ability to react to an enemy attack, but i suppose there’s no way around it… ❜

❛ ooh, a bakery! i love bacon! ❜

❛ just don’t get attached, all right? never ends well. ❜

❛ i thought living with a spy would be cooler. i wanna disarm bombs and stuff. ❜

❛ making a world where kids don’t need to cry… that was the whole reason i became a spy in the first place. ❜

❛ if you want to have any semblance of a normal life, you leave me the hell alone. ❜

❛ i want to go home! with you, papa! ❜

❛ and now i’m falling asleep in front of other people? i have to pull myself together! ❜

❛ there’s no way around it then. i’ll go find a wife. ❜

❛ may i have the honor of taking your life? ❜

❛ you’ve been staring at me since i walked in. can i help you with something? ❜

❛ your pretend boyfriend? ❜

❛ so this must be what ‘ordinary’ looks like. ❜

❛ to endure such a harsh job for the sake of another, for the sake of something greater than oneself… that isn’t something that just anyone would do. ❜

❛ i know this isn’t the best time to ask, but… will you marry me? ❜

❛ instead of parting ways, what would you say to remaining together as an actual married couple for both our sakes? ❜

❛ this is the only man i may ever meet who could possibly accept me as i am. ❜

❛ for better or worse, for richer of poorer, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, i pledge myself to you. ❜

❛ the people look like trash from up here. ❜

❛ papa and mama are gonna kiss! ❜

❛ this sensation… i know it well. there’s no mistaking it. someone’s watching us! ❜

❛ everything will be okay. don’t be scared. ❜

❛ for the first time in over a decade as a spy… i’m actually nervous! ❜

❛ a spy never relies upon anyone but himself. and a spy never plans for any outcome but the worst. that said, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to feel just a tiny bit— ❜

❛ i know that this family is just for appearances, but i still feel like i want to be a better mother to that girl. ❜

❛ i love my strong, cool mama! ❜

❛ yeah, that anxiety’s not going anywhere. ❜

❛ so she’s the first to fall for my charms. she’s got taste, i’ll give her that. ❜

❛ i just held out my hand, and… he walked into it. ❜

❛ you and i should be best friends. after all, i’m the only one who knows how great you are! ❜

❛ why do i always get so tongue-tied when she looks at me? why does my heart start beating so loud? ❜

❛ i’m sorry for hitting you yesterday! i really just want to be your friend! ❜

❛ you are the mother in the family now, and i rely on you to be everything that i’m not. ❜

❛ i wonder how i’d feel if i had a real family? ❜

❛ everyone has a secret self they don’t show to other people. not to friends, not to lovers, not even to family. ❜

❛ i forgot that i had forgotten to tell you i got married! ❜

❛ close your eyes, darling. i’m coming in. ❜

❛ i’m just relieved he didn’t figure out our marriage is a sham. ❜

❛ when was the last time i was envious of other people? ❜

❛ g’morbingh. ❜

❛ if you value your life, never trust anyone. that’s just how people like you and me gotta live. ❜

❛ i’m really glad i married you. ❜

❛ we never did anything to celebrate our fake one-year anniversary. we should buy a cake or something. ❜

❛ you… protected me? are you… nice? ❜

Limoncello can't tell if he's really this gullible or trying to disarm her. Either way, she tucks this little snippet freely given away for later reference (as if they're going to meet again, which is oddly the feeling she's getting). Whether it'll be used as leverage or to catch him out in a contradicting lie is anyone's guess, though.

"All you got? You're breakin' my heart. Granted, I'm no paragon of wealth these days, either." She arches a thick brow at his offer though, lips twitching in amusement. Outed himself as broke and now he's trying to hang out? What's this guy's angle?