The simple power βNo.β has canβt be understated. Itβs especially fun those first few times someone hears it. When theyβre forced to contend with the reality that everything theyβve taken for granted is now something they need to request. Something theyβll need to beg for.
βNo, youβre not wearing that outfit.β Iβm going to send them back to change again and again until their dress suits my tastes. Makeup, hair, even the jewelry and perfume they wear will be changed and decided outside what they thought was correct, or was their preference.
Personally, my favoriteβs always the shock in their eyes when you drag them off the couch that first time. βAnimals need permission to sit on furniture.β Even when they ask, the answer will be βNo.β Theyβll sit on the floor, by my feet where an animal should be. I want them close to me, where I just need to reach out to feel the top of their head. Thereβs a pout at first, but eventually they always relax and settle their head against my leg.
Even something so simple as leaving my side to go to the bathroom has to be requested, and that is denied with a simple βNo.β No, they donβt get to decide something so basic as that. I hate doggie doors, and Iβm not ready to get up yet, so no. Theyβll stay put, only able to hope with mounting desperation that Iβll take pity on them as they squirm.Β
Iβm training them to hesitate.
When getting ready for a date, their mind should be focused on me, my tastes, and how I enjoy seeing them dressed and presented. When guided to a chair in a restaurant, their first instinct should be to look to me, to hesitate, until Iβve nodded my head and given them permission.
The end goal, of course, is for that hesitation to eventually vanish. Training becomes second nature, ingrained to the point itβs closer to reflex. The worry over the decisions they used to fret over, becomes confidence as they learn to follow my lead without a second thought.
Iβm not allowing them the anxiety of choice.
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