Lampire💜

A Reddie Fanfiction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Only Told The Moon: A Reddie Fanfiction Chapter Three

Eddie smiled as he foolishly danced around his house while listening to music. His mother had gone out to run errands leaving Eddie all by himself, but he didn’t mind. Whenever Eddie was alone he’d blast his music and sing and dance as it played. Eddie loved music, he listened to almost everything. From The 1975 to Carrie Underwood to Beyoncé, Eddie loved it all. He loved music he could dance to, if he liked the song enough he’d learn the choreography to it. He really needed some feel good music after the nightmare he had last night. So he blasted all of his favourite happy songs by his favourite artist. This was his happy place.

it’s you, babe and I’m a sucker for the way that you move, babe and I could try to run, but it would be useless you’re to blame just one hit of you, I knew I’ll never ever, ever be the same

Never Be The Same, one of Eddie’s all time favourite songs. It made him think of Richie, the boy who made him realize his sexuality. After he met Richie he knew that he’d never be the same. Every time Eddie heard the song it made him a bit sad knowing that the feelings he had for Richie were pointless. But the song had such a good beat and Camila’s vocals were astonishing so he couldn’t help but enjoy it all at the same time. But the song was over so he would just have to enjoy the next song that played.

don’t call it a fight when you know it’s a war

Eddie was still dressed in his pyjamas so he went over to his closet to pick out something to wear. He slid open his closet door showcasing all of his shirts to himself. His eyes traveled along the row of shirts and contemplated which one he should wear. His gaze stopped on a plain white shirt with a breast pocket on the left side. Eddie took it out of the closet and laid it down on his bed. Now he had to choose what pants to wear. Eddie walked over to his dresser and slid open the first drawer that held his pants. Although it was summer vacation it wasn’t that hot outside, so Eddie decided that a fine pair of jeans would be perfect for today. Eddie grabbed a simple pair of blue jeans from his drawer and closed it when he was finished. He threw the jeans onto his bed next to his shirt. Eddie removed his shirt to start to get changed. He stared down at his body, he was a skinny boy. Eddie was in shape for someone his age, although he isn’t anywhere close to the average height he was in good shape. He didn’t have abs or anything like that but that kind of stuff didn’t really matter, Eddie’s body was fine and needed no changes. Eddie grabbed the white shirt pulled it over his head, then he went down to remove his pyjama bottoms and realized that his window was wide open. Technically it wasn’t open, but the shade was up, allowing anyone in view of Eddie’s window see him get shirtless and almost pant less. Eddie grew sweaty with panic, he felt like the whole neighbourhood saw him naked. Yet Eddie had only changed his shirt and only the house across from him, which the last time he’d checked had no one living with it, could see through the window clearly. But that didn’t stop him from worrying. Eddie ran over to his window and pulled down the shade, blocking out the bright sunlight that filled his room before. Although his room was darker it wasn’t pitch black. He slid off his bottoms and his undergarments. He quickly grabbed a replacement pair for the pair of undergarments that he just removed and slid them on. Then he grabbed his jeans and stepped into them and pulled them up the length of his legs. He zipped up the zipper and buttoned up the button. After he was all done with that he walked over to the body length mirror in the corner of his room and stared at his reflection. Ripped jeans? Eddie didn’t notice that the jeans he picked were his ripped. He liked the way the ripped jeans looked with his outfit however. The jeans were tight in the ankles but loosened up as they got closer to the waist. Eddie placed his hand on his back and turned around so he could see his backside in the mirror. He smiled, he was happy. He went over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of plain white ankle socks. As he was pulling them on he heard the sound of his door bell ringing throughout his house. Richie was here.

I ain’t worried ‘bout nothin’ I ain’t wearin’ na nada

Eddie quickly finished putting his socks on and ran to the front door. He nearly fell a few times because his socks made the floor more slippery than they actually were. He realized that he wasn’t finished getting ready because his hair was a mess and he had no idea what he was supposed to bring. Eddie arrived at the and flattened his shirt, he Richie could careless about how wrinkly his shirt was this was for Eddie’s peace of mind. Eddie opened the door to see a smiling Richie. Richie was dressed in an ugly Hawaiian shirt that wasn’t buttoned up with a plain white tee underneath. He also had a pair of black jeans on with black converse. This was very different from what Eddie had seen Richie wearing yesterday. The only thing that remained a bit similar was the hair, it wasn’t as well done as it was yesterday but it still remained slightly tamed. It looked like he didn’t bother to do anything with it yesterday, and sleep took its toll. That and his glasses of course, the big thick rimmed dorky glasses that just completed his aesthetic.

“Hey Ed’s, I like your music.” Richie commented as he danced around to the rather dirty song, but it was catchy as hell and an overall good song. And both of them knew it.

you ain’t gotta go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work

Richie sang along to the song continuing his stupid dance moves. He was trying to embarrass Eddie and he was doing a hella good job at it. Eddie covered his red face with his hand and slightly shook his head. Richie laughed at his friend and continued dancing, his dance moves progressively worsened as he continued dancing to the song. “I fucking hate you sometimes.”

“Lighten up, are you ready?” Richie said with his big goofy smile plastered on his face, he looked like he slept with a hanger in his mouth.

“Not yet,” Eddie said as he signalled to his hair showing Richie the reason as to why he wasn’t quite ready just yet “come in.”

Richie stepped into the home of the Kaspbrak family. It was much neater and tidier than his own, but he blamed that on his sister. Eddie started walking upstairs and Richie went to follow him when Eddie stopped him in his tracks. Eddie simply pointed down to Richie’s converses, signalling that if Richie wanted to go upstairs he would have to take them off. Richie groaned and rolled his eyes as he knelt down and started to untie his shoes. When Richie was done untying his shoes he kicked them off and put them near the front door. Finally Richie followed Eddie upstairs and went into Eddie’s room. Eddie walked over to his speaker and turned it off so he could have a clear conversation with Richie.

“What do you think of my outfit?” Eddie asked as he walked into his bathroom to do his hair.

“How am I supposed to have an opinion on your outfit when you walk away right after you ask me that question?” Richie asked with a snarky attitude causing Eddie to sassily walk back into his room showing Richie his outfit and walk right back into the bathroom after he was finished. Eddie looked fucking adorable. Richie turned a light shade of pink at the sight of Eddie, he had no idea why but he couldn’t help it. “You look cute Ed’s.”

“Thanks,” Eddie said in return as he finished up doing his hair. He grabbed his phone and strolled back into his bedroom and back into Richie’s focal point. “What should I bring?”

“Nothing you’re fine,” Richie said as he looked at the time on his phone, 1:47, they were supposed to meet at 1:30. Richie got up from where he was sitting and grabbed Eddie’s hand. “Common were almost 20 minuets late.”

“Okay.” Eddie said as Richie pulled Eddie out of his room and downstairs to the front door. Both of the boys started to put on their shoes which both happened to be converse. Richie’s were a dark black and Eddie’s were a bright yellow. Eddie grabbed his house key and lead Richie outside, when they were both outside Eddie turned around to locked the door as Richie made his way towards his car. When Eddie was finished locking the door he made his way towards Richie’s car when something caught his eye and almost broke his heart.

Richie was across the street flirting with a very pretty girl. Eddie had never seen this girl before in his life, at least not that he could remember at the moment. But Eddie could only see her side profile. She had dark brown hair which could easily be confused with a black that went down to her mid back. Her skin was practically kissed by the sun with a light tan and it was as incredibly smooth. She had beautiful big brown eyes with luscious eyelashes that extended from her face and slightly brushed against her cheeks whenever she blinked. Her nose was small and the perfect size for her face. Her lips also soft a plump, naturally big, this was the kind of girl every girl wanted to look like, the kind of girl girls paid to look like. Her ass was huge in a good way, she was short but probably taller than Eddie. She was definitely Richie’s type, every straight mans type. Eddie watched the two talk from afar. Eddie hadn’t even noticed that someone was moving into the house across the street. With exams and school he was probably too distracted to notice anything. Richie waved goodbye to the mysterious girl as he walked away from her. She turned her body so her whole front was in view, Eddie definitely knew her from somewhere. Her face was beautiful and kind, but it didn’t make Eddie feel safe. He knew her from somewhere, he definitely knew her.

“Ready to go?” Richie asked as he made his way back over to his car and opened the drivers door and crawled in. Eddie just simply nodded and crawled into the passenger side next to Richie.

“Who was that?” Eddie asked as he did his seatbelt up and got comfortable in the seat.

“Karla, she’s your new neighbour.” Richie said as he started the car up. Eddie didn’t know a Karla, her name was foreign to him. But he knew her face and he didn’t like the feeling he felt when he saw her smile.

…

Where is Karla from???? Who knows? I thought I would add the names of the songs Eddie was listening to as well just because… 1. Never Be The Same by Camila Cabello 2. The City by The 1975 3. Work From Home by Fifth Harmony …Reblog and tell me which song is your favourite out of the three Eddie listened to and don’t forget to like (and vote on Wattpad @/bitchintozier)!!

Only Told The Moon: A Reddie Fanfiction Chapter Two

“You’re so fucking annoying Trashmouth,” Eddie said as he walked around the streets of Derry with his best friend Richie “you’re lucky I like you.”

“Aw Ed’s, you’re so cute when you’re sassy.” Richie said as he pinched one of Eddie’s cheeks earning a elbow in the stomach from Eddie. They were the only people on the street, it was passed the town curfew and no one was allowed to be out. Somehow, Richie convinced Eddie to go on a midnight walk.

“Where are you taking me?” Eddie asked as he looked up to Richie, he had no idea why Richie wanted to have this midnight walk or why he agreed. Richie’s very outgoing, you never knew what he’s gonna do next, especially when he’s walking with you at midnight. Richie didn’t answer Eddie he just continued walking, Eddie didn’t like the feeling he was getting in his stomach. Richie usually made Eddie feel safe, but he wasn’t feeling safe at the moment. “Richie tell me where you’re taking me or I’ll leave, I swear to god.”

“Hey hey, calm down Ed’s,” he said as he turned to Eddie and placed his large hands in comparison to Eddie’s small shoulders. Richie looked into Eddie’s eyes, he was planning something special for his friend, and he wanted it to be a surprise. Richie isn’t the best at keeping secrets, he’s terrible at it. He didn’t want to say anything because he knew that he could slip out the surprise and not even notice. He wanted to be extra careful, but he didn’t want to scare Eddie. “It’s a surprise, okay? I just don’t want to give it away. I’m not gonna hurt you, trust me. Like seriously Ed’s when have I ever lead you wrong? Actually don’t answer that.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and giggled at Richie’s comment, although he was scared of where he was going because some of Richie’s thoughts and ideas were terrifying. They continued walking for a few more minutes until Richie stretched his arm out stopping Eddie from walking any further, they had arrived at their destination. Eddie looked down at Richie’s hand which was pressed against his chest and slowly rose his gaze up to the area where Richie had brought him. They stood in the empty park underneath the stars surrounded by trees. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and brought him to the stage which regularly had performances on it and at Christmas had a display of baby Jesus in a manger. The stage had a simple black chain with a sign that said ‘stay off’ guarding it. Richie lifted the chair over his head and climbed onto the stage. After he got on the stage he offered his hand to Eddie so he could help Eddie make his way onto the stage as well. Eddie felt his cheeks get warm luckily it was way to dark so Richie couldn’t see his face. Eddie hesitantly took Richie’s hand knowing that he could get into bucket loads of trouble if he went on the stage. But he went anyway not wanting to waste this experience with Richie, he was out past the curfew anyway how much more trouble could he possibly get into? Richie grasped Eddie’s hand firmly with his strong grip and heaved the smaller boy onto the stage. Eddie sat down next to Richie and stared looking at the stars, he rested his head on Richie’s shoulder. He thought nothing of it, Eddie had rested his head on Richie’s shoulders plenty of times before this. He smiled at the beauty of the stars, they made him feel safe. Eddie looked to his side to see Richie staring at him other than the stars, he lifted his head off of Richie’s shoulder and gave him a questioning look.

“What?” Eddie questioned while looking at Richie, he was confused. The stars were so beautiful, why was Richie looking at him and not the stars?

“You’re beautiful Ed’s.” Richie stated with a dorky smile that Eddie absolutely loved. Eddie felt warm because of this compliment, he cheeks grew red and his lip was in between his teeth. But then something unexpected happened, they heard a voice. Both of the boys assumed that they were getting caught and started to worry. The voice was angelic and soft, not the kind of voice that would usually scare a person. It sounded feminine but that didn’t necessarily mean that it was a woman. The boys both knew that if they tried to move they’d get caught, walking on the stage would make it creak because of it’s old age and if they tried to get off the wound shake the chain causing a the links to clink together which would make a racket. The best decision was to stay where they were and hope that the voice didn’t find them.

“Hello?” The voice questioned, the voice sounded beautiful. It was very melodious and soothing, Eddie couldn’t help but melt when he heard it talk. Although he wasn’t into girls he truly was attracted to the mysterious voice.

The boys looked around for the voice not saying a word so they would have better chances of not getting caught. Eddie eyes looked at the big trying to figure out if there was a person standing next to it or if that was just a shadow. He started to move his eyes when he felt something lightly jab into his side, Richie had elbowed him. When Eddie looked over at Richie he saw Richie with his glance locked on the sky. Eddie decided to see what Richie was looking at and when he looked into the sky he saw something so unexpected he was in absolute shock. It was the moon, the moon had a face. Eyes, eyebrows, nose, and a pair of lips, a face. The eyes were a dark grey but the were soft and doe like, with a fine line of eyelashes along the top and bottom. The eyebrows were perfectly shaped and natural, unlike the ones on half of the girls in Derry. The nose was thin and the perfect size for the face, it was also smooth and gave the face a youthful aesthetic. The lips were soft and plump, the teeth that laid behind the lips were all straight and aligned with each other. When the moon smiled it sent shivers through Eddie’s spine, however, he hadn’t decided if it was a good feeling or not yet.

“Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier!” The moon exclaimed with a soft smile. This has taken the two boys back so much they stumbled backwards almost in sync with each other. The moon giggled at them making the boys feel weird. The moon was laughing at them, who wouldn’t feel weird?

“Um, how do you know our names?” Richie asked still in shock with the whole situation that was happening right before his very eyes.

“I know everything,” the moon said with a mischievous look as she glanced towards Eddie. Eddie had know idea what the moons gender was, he had know idea if moons had genders in the first place. But something inside was telling him that the moon was a girl and he decided to go with it. Eddie made eye contact with the moon and he could read everything in her eyes. She knew everything that Eddie confessed and she was about to tell everything to Richie. Richie couldn’t find out how he felt, it would ruin everything. Eddie gave a scared look to the moon and she gave an even more intense mischievous smile than she had on her face before as her returning look. “Richie did you know that Eddie’s in love with you? You’re his world. He would do anything for you, I mean anything. But this isn’t friend love, oh no it is not! Eddie is gay, and he is gay for you.”

Eddie felt his heart crumble with each word the moon said, he felt hot tears roll down off his face slightly dampening his shirt. The moon was in complete bliss, she had ruined Eddie’s life and she was living for it. Richie was in shock, he took glances at the moon and then at Eddie. Soon Richie’s face turned into pure disgusting. He crinkle his nose up crushing his face together, creating a mushed face full of disgust and hatred.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You disgusting fucking shit, I can’t believe I was friends with you!” Richie screamed as he stood up on the stage not caring about the amount of noise he was making or how many people he would be waking.

“Richie…” Eddie whispered as he also got up trying to calm him down so he could explain it and try to make the situation better than how it was going now. Eddie extended his arm out to Richie in attempts of helping but it was no use.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” He screamed as he pushed Eddie’s arm away causing Eddie to stumble backwards and fall onto the hard wood of the stage floor. The moon watched the two boys with a huge smile on her face, like everything was falling into place as she had planned all of this all along.

“Richie I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I’m disgusting, I never meant to do this to you Richie. Please stop, I’m sorry.” Eddie pleaded as he moved away from Richie his body not leaving the cold stage floor.

Richie glanced at Eddie, he was scared. Eddie had a tear stained face and his eyes were glazed with fear. His hair was messy from being thrown down and he was covered in dirt because the area he had been thrown into was where all the garbage and dirt had been piling up. Eddie would normally be having a mini heart attack if he was thrown into a pile of garbage and dirt. But he was too worried about Richie to even notice how disgusting dirty he actually was. Then Richie glanced at the moon, she was practically laughing at them. But she made eye contact with Richie, she spoke with her eyes and told him to give Eddie what he deserved, Richie nodded in agreement.

“Fucking disgusting worthless piece of shit.” Richie said as he raised his fist and brought down to Eddie’s face, Richie was about to punch Eddie in the face. Right before Richie’s fist smashed into the side of Eddie’s face an alarming sound occurred. This more alarming than when the moon started to talk, it was an alarm. It was loud and obnoxious.Eddie started sweating, screaming, and crying all at the same time. Then all of a sudden everything went black, he could see nothing.

All of a sudden Eddie opened his eyes, it was all just a dream. He was drenched in sweat when he woke he was breathing heavily which led into a series of wheezes which triggered his asthma. Eddie sat up in his bed and searched his bedside table for his inhaler. Eddie finally found it, brought it up to his lips, and pulled the trigger sending air into his mouth. He calmed and placed his inhaler back down onto his bedside table. His eyes stared at his loud alarm which woke him from the nightmare he was recently trapped in. This was one of the only times he was thankful for that irritating alarm. Eddie slammed his hand down on the alarm causing it to silence. It was 6:30 am, on a regular day he would be getting ready for school. But today was the first day of summer vacation and him getting ready for school would be pointless. He could fall back asleep but the nightmare before had him to shaken and he could barely close his eyes. He looked out the window and saw no moon, he felt relieved.

Eddie got up and made his way over to his bathroom. He looked at his reflection in mirror, his face was stained with tears and shiny because of his sweat, his hair was pointing up in different directions, he looked tiered although he just woke, he looked like an absolute mess. He splashed water on his face trying to cool himself down, but he just stared at his reflection. Eddie was a rather attractive person, he had to be one of the cutest people in Derry. His features were soft and youthful, something a lot of people wished they had. He looked delicate, the type of delicate that made you afraid to touch. You felt like he would break so easily if you even laid a finger on him. Eddie knew that he was cute, he wasn’t the person who cared about that kind of stuff anyway. He had confidence in his appearance but he never showed it. Although he’s confident with his look, he hated his personality. He didn’t like being so cautious and wished he could let go and do something without worrying about how disgusting it is, he wished he could be more careless but he just couldn’t help it. But mainly he wished that he wasn’t gay, he wished that he was what everyone expected him to be. He wished he fit the normal standards of a person but he just didn’t.

…

Well this was fckn weird…comment your opinion and don’t forget to like/reblog (and vote on Wattpad @/bitchintozier)

Only Told The Moon: A Reddie Fanfiction Chapter One

Eddie Kaspbrak laid on his twin bed in his small bedroom, he had just finished his last exam before summer vacation and he was relieved. He didn’t care about his grades at this point because he knew he would pass. But he was done and that’s all that mattered, he was ready for summer. Although he didn’t care much for swimming and other summer activities he was excited to be with his friends. But he was scared as well, the overall joy of summer had been taken away when he was only eleven years old. He tried his best not to think about it but it was difficult especially when you considered what happened over that summer. But he wasn’t gonna bother himself with those memories at the moment. He was just gonna lay down and enjoy the peace and quiet of-

“Eddie!” He heard his mother call from the downstairs living room. He rolled his eyes and slowly got up knowing she’d want to know how his exam went, although he didn’t even know saying he just did it. He couldn’t complain because his mother wanted to know about his marks, it was because she cared. But he was tired and just wanted to sleep, that plans out the window. “Eddie, come and see me.”

The small boy slowly walked out of his room quietly shutting the door behind him. He walked down the stairs and into the den where his mother was sitting in her brown lazy boy. “Hi mommy,” Eddie said with a tiered smile as he sat down on the couch beside her chair “what’s up?”

“How was your exam?” She asked smiling at her son, Eddie was her prized possession. She loved him so much, possibly a little bit too much. She always cared about him and especially his health. She wanted to make sure that he never got hurt or anything like that. When Eddie was younger she put him on sugar pills to trick him into thinking he was sick in some way. Eddie had asthma, that was basically it. She’d make it seem like so much more, trying to get him a free pass in gym because of his “delicate lungs” or the sugar pills. Eddie was fast and he enjoyed running, he didn’t like sports though because they are gross. But he was fast, impressively fast. That’s why he took gym, it wasn’t a necessity for a grade 11 but it was the only time he could run. He told his mother that he needed four to pass high school when he only really needed one. But after all of that he still loved his mother, she was his mom, he couldn’t imagine hating her.

“It was fine.” Eddie responded with a perky tone as he turned his focus off of his mother and onto the window behind the tv. Someone was outside of his house, not a stranger but a friend.

Richie Tozier, Richie and Eddie had made plans to hangout over the summer with the rest of their friend group. But those plans weren’t for the day exams ended, why the hell was Richie here? Richie looked funny, not like funny how he usually looked, funny as in different. He usually dressed in oversized clothing or clothing that is far too small and his thick rimmed glasses that were huge compared to his face, not to mention his messy hair that was never combed or styled. But he somehow made the terrible look work, and what he was wearing right now wasn’t that terrible look Eddie was used to. Richie was dressed semi nicely, he had a non-Hawaiian button up shirt on that actually fit with black dress pants and what looked like washed black converse. His hair was combed a bit not really creating a difference, but it looked more tamed than usual. The look was topped off with his dorky glasses, something Richie couldn’t change easily. Eddie was kind of glad about that, he liked Richie’s glasses. But this was confusing, why was he dressed up and why was he at Eddie’s house dressed up? He got shaken out of his thoughts when he saw Richie go back to his old beaten down car and grab something, flowers? Why did Richie have flowers? Okay now this is really weird. Richie made his way up to the Kaspbrak household mumbling stuff underneath his breath until he got to the door. He took in a deep breath and prepared to knock, right before his fist hit the door he pulled it away. He shook his head and walked back into his car and drove off. Eddie was speechless, he sat on his couch with his mouth wide open.

“Eddie what’s wrong?” His concerned mother asked staring at her wide mouthed son, she had been watching what was on the tv and not what was going on outside like Eddie.

“Nothing.” Eddie said still shocked about the events that happened outside the window, he was so incredibly confused. So many thoughts were going through his brain and he had no idea how he should feel about what happened.

A few hours passed and Eddie still was confused, he hadn’t even tried to figure it out though. All he did was think about it, he thought about Richie. This wasn’t the first time Eddie has thought about Richie, they were best friends of course they thought about each other. But not in the ways Eddie did, Eddie thought about Richie as more than a friend. That’s what made this situation so much more difficult, Eddie was in love with Richie Tozier. Eddie had never admitted these feelings, he hasn’t even admitted that he likes boys. But he knew he did, he knew it for along time. Instead of admitting his feelings he shut them out, he locked them up inside and decided they were pointless.

Eddie was back in his room on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was now 11:46 pm and Eddie was still thinking about Richie. He decided that he needed sleep but something was holding him against the idea of sleep. He tried and tried with no success. Eventually he gave up and sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, what was he gonna do? Frustrated and confused, he stared out of his window into the beautiful night sky looking directly at the moon. He felt some sort of invisible force pull him off of his bed and towards the window. He placed his elbows on the window sill and stared off at the moon. He had never done anything like this, although he had never been in a situation exactly like this either. Eddie lifted his small hands to the top of the window and slowly opened it so he could get some air in. He repositioned himself on the sill to his position he was holding before he opened the window and continued staring at the moon. This is ridiculous, he thought. A 16 year old boy staring at the moon and 12:00 am, ridiculous. He also thought that his feelings for Richie were also ridiculous. He thought a lot was ridiculous, almost everything to Eddie Kaspbrak was ridiculous. But he didn’t stop, if anything what he did next was more ridiculous. He started talking to the moon.

“I don’t like girls,” he confessed with a trembling voice. He could feel the tears rolling down his face and falling down onto the window sill. Eddie had a strong feeling that he was the only gay person at his school, he felt like he was the only gay person in Derry. Thankful that school was over, that he only had one year left and then he’d be gone. But he still had one year, he could hide it or embrace it. He still hadn’t said that he was gay yet, he just stated that he doesn’t like girls. He needed to say it, he knew that. This was gonna be hard but the time has come, it’s time for him to step out of the closet. Although he wasn’t telling anyone except for himself and the moon, he was still coming out and saying it out loud for the first time. This was big, this was finally happening. For better or for worse, he didn’t know yet but it was happening either way. “I’m guh-gay.”

“And, I-I…I’m in love with my beh-best friend, Richie To-Tozier.” Eddie said while sobbing into his arms which were now crossed on the ledge of the window. He felt disgusting, he felt like he was a burden to this world. He knew that he wouldn’t be except for his differences, not that he really cared about how other people felt about him in the first place, but something about this situation he cared about. It was how Richie would feel, he knew Richie would except him no matter what. He felt like Richie would treat him differently however, but not in a good way. Eddie didn’t want to ruin his relationship with Richie, but he knew that him coming out would definitely do just that. If he told Richie he knew that Richie would find out that he liked him. Eddie had never liked anyone else in his life, he had never felt these feelings of butterflies and this warm feeling around anyone else besides Richie Tozier. Richie would be able to tell, he would look at Eddie and tell that he was in love. Eddie couldn’t let that happen, it would truly ruin him as a whole.

“He’s all I ever think about, everything he does just gets me. He is the perfect person I have dreamed about since I knew what love was. Nothing compares to him, the way he walks, talks, he makes me feel like I’m safe. But that scares me because, I can never have him. Why am I like this? Why am I this disgusting? Why do I like boys? Why do I like that boy? Why am I in love with my best friend? Why do I love Richie Tozier?” He hopelessly asked while grabbing his hair frustratingly while crying, he just cried that night. Admitting all of this made him feel better, but he felt like he shouldn’t feel better. He felt like he had “a sickness”, he felt like if he told his mother she’d put him on more sugar pills and tell him that they are ‘anti gay’ pills to help with his new “sickness”. He needed so much help right now, he couldn’t control his tears and his pleads for help that were coming out in the form of prayers. He Prayed that the world would turn in his favour, prayed that this wasn’t real, prayed that it was just ridiculous.

Eddie stopped his tears and stared at the moon, like it’d give him answers. He knew that what he was doing was ridiculous but he didn’t stop, he talked about Richie all night. Tears dried, and the boy was smiling once again. He smiled when he talked about Richie, about his features and how he made him feel. Although he was still felt disgusting about his feelings towards his friend he knew that the feelings were positive feelings and were meant to make him feel positive over negative. The feelings in general made him think of himself as disgusting but the how the feelings felt were different versus the idea of the feelings. He started blushing when he thought of kissing Richie, he could feel his cheeks getting warm even though he sat in the cold night air. He smiled down at the grass that laid below him realizing that that was his first time removing his eye contact from the moon of his window. He looked around his neighbourhood, all of the house lights were pitch black with the exception of a few. No one was outside to hear his confessions, no one except for the moon.

…

Chapter one what did y'all think? Tell me in the comments, if you didn’t know this fanfiction is highly inspired by Camila Cabello’s song ‘Only Told The Moon’ it’s an unreleased bOp, I recommend you listen to it. Well I hope you liked the first chapter and don’t forget to like, and vote on Wattpad (@/bitchintozier).