DUMPMSTER

jsyk if we’re hanging out and you die i WILL loot your body

you all only hate me because you do not like me and i am mean to you. grow up

Every time I ask one of the Youths™ to explain “vibe check” to me they hit me with some kind of improvised weapon

And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly~

my brain works like the spirit box from buzzfeed unsolved

mostly static, sometimes disembodied words like “pastry” and “crime”, leaves you guessing

I found a document from 1652 that’s just a guy talking about how women are better than men and wow he’s a little confused but he got the spirit.

This idiot who loves women a lot: you see…women are perfect…you can tell because when they fall down…God made it so they usually fall on their back…which hurts less and prevents them from damaging their beautiful faces…wow women are so smart and beautiful

This absolute dumbass who treasures women with his whole soul: you know how sometimes women…are bad? It’s actually just proof that they are way more powerful than men and they could totally kill us if they wanted to but they don’t because they’re just that nice they literally don’t need us for shit

This dude absolutely LOST IN THE SAUCE on Respect Women Juice

getting notes from gays is so easy and this post was made purely to prove that yall really see the words tender, yearning and britney spears and just fucking slam the reblog button this was a test and you all failed i love us

sexting on the google doc

how can i sleep when theres IMAGES to look at.. weird sounds to listen to..... gay thoughts to think...!

oh to be a sinister robed figure with no visible physical form except for clawed hands and glowing red or yellow eyes

[plunges hand into water, pulls out a live lobster, and answers it like a phone]

brought a kiss to the knife fight

Hate when ppl call fidgety stuff a "nervous habit" I'm bouncing my leg cause I'm bored not cause I'm a scared little bitch

I’m charging up. Will not say what for

I’m ready to Marie Kondo this fucking body. This spine does not bring me joy