well fuck.

Well well well look what the clock dragged in...

Me looking regrettably at the store brand pizza I bought

Pro tip: if a guy asks for you number give him your Instagram. That way you can see if he's a 40 yr old, married with kids, looking to get his dick wet and not the younger gentleman he would pretend to be if you were just texting.

Was babysitting and went to check on the kid in the bathroom... They were picking, licking, and eating the grouting from around the bathtub.

You ever get that angry-sad feeling? But you don't know if it was the weather, low blood sugar, dehydration, lack of sleep, or your upcoming period that caused it?

Bitches be here feeling-

A bitch slap and a booty slap are both spontaneous and leave lasting impressions on the recipient, and both can effect the reputation of all parties involved.

Be brave, go out there and snap a brastrap.

Things I have said about small children I know: