bitchgold

I'm a freelance pet sitter that has been working part time since I got out of college about a year ago. I don't necessarily need the money anymore since I've gotten a job as a full time illustrator at a Ad Agency, but I enjoy it. I've also worked with animals my whole life and worked or volunteered at at least five different shelters as I've moved around. Basically, I'm not stupid when it comes to animals.

So I got a new hit for a pet sitting job on the service site I’m on and so I set up a time to come and talk to them and meet their pets.  Turns out it’s this older woman living in a VERY wealthy part of town in a pent house over a high end shopping center with her single cat. 

Now some red flags did go off here at first. She was very insistent on my replies, and if I didn’t reply right away she would contact me through another venue. But that’s common with older clients, since I feel like most have no clue what Digital Social Etiquette is. Also her messages were super brisk and curt. 

Also at one point I asked for her address to meet her, she snapped back. “Well if you had read my work request you should have it.” 

Red flag one! But I politely explained to her that for safety reasons I only have access to her zip code. 

But when met her it was a completely different story. She was nice, she was clearly concerned about her cat and kept repeating how much she liked me. She also made it clear she was meeting with several different pet sitters since she had difficulty in the past. 

RED FLAG NUMBER TWO. 

I have made it a point, if a customer complains about a pet sitter, ask them specifically what their problem was and if its a bull shit problem DO NOT TAKE THE JOB. 

Now her cat, I should mention this cat. Sweetie. Really is quite a sweetie. But she was a stray, and has one back leg missing. But also is only about five - six years old. So prime of her life cate that other wise is completely healthy and by all accounts happy as far as I could tell. 

But so about a week later, she informs me she would like to hire me and promptly sends over a deposit. I was stupid, and I liked the cat, so I took the job. It was nearly two months out so I didn’t hear from her again for quite some time. 

Till about two weeks before the sitting dates. 

It was a day I was sick in bed, I got a migraine so I had decided to switch off my electronics for the day and recoup so the migraine didn’t last longer than necessary. 

It wasn’t even a full day though, and around 6pm that day I turn my phone back on to find -- 4 messages from her, all through out different platforms. I should point out she didn’t even let five hours pass between one email to the next. So I was expecting an Emergency, because what honestly could be so pressing that int he span of a business day I’m hit with so many messages! 

What did she need? 

To know when I’d be by int he next two weeks to get a key and final rundown on the cat. 

TWO WEEKS AWAY. 

I was getting a bit concerned but when I expressed this to a family member they were like, “ya know, she’s old and there’s just something about seniors that they demand you answer them right away. They don’t get that an email or a text is still waiting there and can be addressed later for some reason.” Which is an assessment I’ve also found true, and besides when I meet her in person she was always kind and nice to me. 

So everything goes well at the meet for the key. Though she is very insistent that I stay for 2 hours a day with her cat. I laughed and said, like I do to all my clients that would like me to stay with their cats, “Oh if I have my laptop I usually stay that amount of time just fine.” 

I apparently took this to mean something different than she did. 

Because let’s fast forward to the first day of sitting. 

That morning I get there -- and her apartment is a complete mess. The counter top is covered in trash and dirty dishes, papers and just so much stuff. There was also quite literally a half eaten banana left in the kitchen, just left out on the counter. . The living room has cat hair everywhere, as well as cat toys every where and over by the litter box is a complete mess. It’s a litter box I can tell has never been washed out past the point of buying it. 

And I’m not gonna lie, I consider that super rude. If you ask me to stay in your home, I don’t expect it to be military spotless, but I would appreciate it to be clean. It makes my stay much more pleasant. 

But so I empty the litter box, feed the cat and play with her for about ten to fifteen minutes before as cats do she gets tired of it and goes up on the couch and goes to sleep. 

Now, every client I ask, to please leave me a DETAILED instruction list. That way I know in their own words what they would like done on a daily basis. 

This client gives me --a mess of post-its, a feeding list that does not match up at all with what i was told in person and to top it all off --It’s completely illegible. Like really I spent fifteen minutes trying it read the scrawled handwritten note. None of it is in complete sentences and its just -- god it was a mess. 

Btw, both what she told me in person, and on her hodgepodge of instructions -- totally over feeding her very small cat. She had 5.5 oz. cans of cat food which wanted one given at night and in the morning AS WELL AS a 2.5 oz. packet of Sheba --basically a gravy smothered cat treats disguised to look like real food and nutrients, cats love them for the same reason we love ice cream -- given every night, in addition to a small bowl she always keeps full of dry food. 

Needless to say, I was throwing away so much food. The cat barely ate half of it. 

So that night I get there for the afternoon visit and I’m setting up outside on the balcony with the kitty snoozing on a cat bed out there when I send over a couple of text messages. This convo is so perfect I’ve gotta give it to you word for word! 

So --I’m not allowed to do anything while I’m there for 2 HOURS a day. I’m watching her cat for a week by the way. And I had fully planned to write and get some website work done while I was in her home. The same as a frequent repeat client I had scheduled directly after her, which had given me the wifi and password, asked me to stay about fifteen minutes with their cat and whom I subsequently stayed there with their cat for about three hours every night, because why not? I have my laptop and i’m doing exactly what i would be doing if I was at home, only with their cat now instead of my own. 

Also I should point out, I don’t think this woman actually knows what Wifi is. From how she’d describing it, t sounds like she things its the webcam she has hooked up. 

Which I didn’t connect the dots to, until several days later when I go this oh boi! kind of text!  

..again. Seniors have no sense of digital etiquette! I have yet to run into a person that thinks this is O-K to send to someone. ..because it isn’t. It’s creepy it’s very VERY creepy. 

It was upon getting this text, I look up from where I am on her cat hair covered floor, to finally register on the mantel of her fireplace is a bright blue light coming from a webcam. 

She never mentioned any form of this to me in person. EVER. 

The only place ti was mentioned was on a post-it, she had scrawled messily that she had acquired a Nanny-cam. 

I’m trying very hard to be o-kay with this, I realize it’s a common practice, though usually not for  a single cat... 

At this point I should admit -- I was not staying 2 hours a day. I was fucking bored, so I was staying the bare minimum and leaving to another clients house that had offered me wifi, supplied me with a case of Vanilla Coke, and told me to and I quote, “Eat anything you find in the fridge, or cupboards, we want you to feel at home while you’re here.” or a client after that, that had as well given me the Wifi even offered me their TV with HBO, Hulu, Showtime and Netflix AND had mixed mimosa, besides a selection of five different beers and three wines in the fridge which they urged me to please feel free to. Oh and that lady adores me so she leaves me a bowl of candy every time too. XD Also! both of which were clean, nice houses, one of which another penthouse overlooking the city... Why in the world would I be hanging out in a stinky cat hair balled home with a crabby ladies cat that because is missing a leg gets exhausted and sleeps 90% of the time with nothing to do when I had that waiting for me as my next scheduled stop?? 

I was though! Staying about 45 minuted every visit, I know because it was the first time in my life I was timing a cat visit. It was about 15 minuted to feed the cat, pet her cat, change her water, clean out the litter box and clean out her food bowl. Then 30 minutes of petting kitty, and playing with her till she got tired and would either make it clear to me she did not want any more attention -- usually with a play bite (Something this cat had a HUGE problem with and I strongly suggest you stop in cats btw! Its very easy to do so and you can train a cat to just put their paw on you when they would like you to stop. But not my cat so honestly not my problem!) -- or she would go to sleep. Then I’d leave. Cause why stay? I’m bored as fuck. 

Now about 3/4 of the way through I find out -- I’m being watched through out all of this. 

I god damn wanted to cry at this point. 

And I probably should have tried to stay longer -- but it creeped me out -- so this made it so I stayed shorter amounts of time, cause i was paranoid. I rushed through the assigned tasks then played with kitty till she was tired and slept -- then got he hell out of dodge! 

I do this job cause I love animals and it’s not that big of a deal for me, but this became that job I just GET. DONE. MOVE. ON! Cause i was stuck in a shitty situation and there was no other way but trudging through it. 

So I only had like two days left, I just had to make it to Wednesday. So like her notes were a mess but she didn't say in any of them that I could tell when she was coming back at all! So middle of the day Wednesday I get this email that's like “Oh I'm home!” And I was like wtf, cause I had planned to make a visit that night, but I was like whatever, at least I don't have to go again.

That is until I get a second email. Because I think she thinks Emails are text messaged... 

"Hey come by after work and we can negotiate on pay/hours."

Middle of the day, while I’m at work and I was so mad I went outside and called my best friend to talk me down from flipping my shit on this lady. Her advice to me by the was was, "dude you just have to get out clean with this crazy bitch."

So I swallowed it all and sent back an email that was like, “Just pay me what ever you think is fair, I’ll be by to drop oft the key after work.” 

Going up to her door, my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest and I think I was the fakest I’ve ever been in my life as she handed me a check, I handed her the key and we went separate ways. 

Also when I talked to her in person same story -- nice and smiling the whole time. I may be having the fakest moment of my life, but I think i just figured out then I was talking to one of the fakest bitches to walk the planet. 

I never wanna hear from her again. 

Her name in my phone is now, ‘Cat Lady from Hell.’ Just to be safe I never forget. 

Btw! I charge $17 for up to two visits a day --she was gone for 10 days, she owed me $170. ...She gave me $110.

So I only got 2/3 of what I had originally quoted her. 

There is a silver lining to this, the job service website she found me through -- yeah. She never marked me as Hired, meaning she can’t review me. I don’t think she’s tech savvy enough to figure that out but if she ever does, she ever does try to mark me as hired I plan to smack that down and unmark myself as hired. 

My less elegant response: What did this twat expect that I was gonna just rewrite a fic that I HAVE CURRENTLY 80,000 WORDS down for? I have only like what 80k comments telling me it’s great but one bitch gonna make me rethink it all! You know, let’s just take down the 25K I have posted and just add in all the plot they feel is missing. And how the hell did they make through 25k if it was just such a horrid experience to read?!?

Sorry, I broke your boy. If you’re looking for a fiction alluding to a fairytale that’s all healthy and nice and nothing bad ever happens and no perspective or context has any meaning, please, oh please take your ass from my fics.

I said--I FUCKING SAID that this fic was more like GoT!

And like seriously? “data expunged?” So ya gonna come into mah fic and bitch to my face but, oh you can’t do it off anon!

Like did they even read the fic?!? It gives context to every single one of their bitchin’! Like come on use your noodler a bit there, and you’ll come up with reasoning for all of it!

Client code name: Bjorn

Bjorn: "I'd like more dynamic lighting instead of such harsh lighting and negative space, possibly softer quality to it--but I still want the finished mark to be single color with mostly negative space."

Me: "Not possible." 

Bjorn:"Why not?"