Walburga Black didn't like her kids.
She tried really hard in the beginning, tried to feel something when she first held them in her arms, tried to adore the sounds of their first laughs, she tried to feel proud when they took their first steps. She tried to love them, not because she wanted to, but because she knew she was supposed to, instead all she could feel was a deep resentment. Sometimes she felt guilty about it, she truly tried her best to feel some degree of mother instinct but eventually gave up.
Walburga never truly wanted to be a mother or a wife.
She was always an ambitious person, she didn't have to beg the sorting hat to put her in Slytherin, she wanted to continue her family's legacy more than anything and the only way to do it was to marry the right man and start a family with him, her duty was to raise children while her future husband made his name in the wizarding world, she knew the only thing she had to do was prepare a male heir to continue what her husband would start; but when she was alone and could allow herself to fantasize she closed her eyes and she pictured a seat in the Wizengamot with her name on it, what she really wanted was to be someone, she craved to have influence in the wizarding world beyond her last name and knew the potential to make the Black family even more relevant than it already was laid inside of her.
In her fantasies she didn't have to suppress her political ambitions, she could be powerful and could dream of climbing her way up to the International Confederation of Wizards; instead, she was condemned to sit and watch her husband attempt to do everything she knew she could do better if she ever had the chance.
But that wasn't her place, those fantasies had to be kept a secret, she had a duty as her father's oldest daughter.
Walburga never liked Orion.
Her second cousin was five years older than her, he was a drunk who developed gambling habits the moment he turned seventeen, he frequented brothels and slept around with women even though he was engaged to Astrid Greengrass. He did things that should be considered an embarrassment to the family's name and yet everyone seemed okay turning a blind eye as long as it was kept a secret, after all he was the oldest male of all the cousins and the heir to the Black fortune. Walburga always understood that she couldn't even dream of doing half the things Orion did, disownment would be the most gentle punishment if she even dared to think about it.
Walburga was seventeen when Bahram Avery started courting her.
He was handsome, tall and smart, only a year older than her, a slytherin prefect and most importantly a pure-blood boy with the right values. They talked for the first time when she was in her sixth year and the more they engaged in conversations the more she could imagine a life with him. He was intelligent, well-spoken and one of the most beautiful boys at Hogwarts, with elegant features and a kind eyes, but none of those things were what made Walburga so drawn to him, it was the way he treated her like an equal. Her dreams and ambitions were unattainable, especially if she wanted to make her family proud, but if she had to resign herself to be nothing more than a wife maybe she wouldn't mind playing that role for Bahram.
Romanticizing the idea of being his wife wasn't difficult, he listened to her, never dismissed her thoughts and ideas or patronized her the way her family did; he recognized her as the powerful witch she was. The summer after his graduation he showed up to her house and asked her father for permission to start courting her, Pollux and Irma were pleased.
They continued to exchange letters through Walburga's seventh year, she felt relieved for being so close to fulfill her parents' expectations.
Walburga had just graduated when Orion ruined everything.
The news of Astrid Greengrass ending the engagement wasn't well received by her aunt and uncle. Rumors of Orion's lack of commitment and irresponsible spending habits reached the Greengrass family, who were kind enough to quietly inform Arcturus and Melania Black of their daughter's decision to not move forward with the wedding to save them at least a little from the embarrassment breaking off an engagement implied in the pure-blood society. Mistresses weren't uncommon within pure-blood men but her cousin had been reckless enough to get caught, even the privileges of being the male heir had their limits in the Black family. Orion's carelessness was met with harsh disapproval.
Walburga felt like her world collapsed when her parents informed her she was expected to reject Bahram.
She didn't understand why, Bahram was the perfect candidate for a husband, he met every single requirement the future head of a pure-blood family should have.
Deep down, Walburga knew Bahram was the only man she could ever grow to love and she knew he was her only hope of being close to a happy life, a small part of her wanted to go against her parents wishes but her instinct to please them was stronger, it wouldn't matter how much she begged or cried, her parents gave no explanations and she was too scared of the consequences of asking why.
A few days later she sent a letter to Bahram saying goodbye to her only chance of a happy life. Most nights, the what ifs haunted her sleep.
She tried her best to forget about him, after all her parents always knew better.
Walburga felt like throwing up when she heard the news.
She heard her parents talk about Orion's recklessness almost every day, her uncle Arcturus wasn't going to allow his heir to ruin the future of the family and she understood that in order to put an end to the talk about his failed engagement he had to get married as soon as possible, she just never thought she would be the unfortunate woman who would be doomed to be his wife.
Pollux and Irma didn't have the decency to even warn her before the engagement was announced at a dinner party, so after Arcturus stood in front of the guests and the words came out of his mouth sentencing her to a lifetime of misery, time started to move slow. It was all calculated, letting her find out at the same time as the rest of their family and friends, she didn't have a way out, she didn't have a chance to beg her parents to change their mind, her future was set in stone. Orion didn't even attempt to hide the look of disgust on his face for the rest of the evening.
"I hope you understand this arrangement is what's best for the family" Her mother said to her once the guests left.
Walburga resented her children.
Sirius and Regulus looked a lot like Orion. While Walburga was a prisoner in Grimmauld Place, condemned to be something she never wanted to be, watching her husband live the dreams she once had while she pretended she didn't notice he smelled like another woman's perfume and dealt with his drunken outbursts like a good pure-blood wife would, the little faces of her sons were a constant reminder of the man who made her life miserable, she couldn't even escape him when he was away and maybe that was the reason she didn't feel much guilt when she lashed out at them, deep down she knew it was wrong but seeing their resemblance with Orion made it easier for her to justify herself, after all, she was just trying to fulfill her duty to raise strong pure-blood wizards like she was supposed to, she was sure some day her sons would understand just like she did.
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A few things:
1) English isn't my first language and i tried my best, i'm sorry if there's any mistakes.
2) I hate Walburga Black, she was an abusive piece of sh1t and a pure blood supremacist, i'm not trying to justify her, i just wanted to give her a story.
3) I know Orion is supposed to be younger than her but after researching their ages and their parents ages i realized it doesn't make any sense and decided to do what i wanted and him being older makes more sense in my story.


















