Belladonna C.

"why would a GOD care about us puny humans" idk i feel like living a million years would just predispose you to yearning. what else is there to do but cherish. what isn't precious after living so much.

like your lover, of which there is only one (1) who has that same personality, who only lives maybe 70-90 years about, is away at the grocery store and what you're just supposed to be normal about it? your devotee, of which there is no exact replica, is going on a walk and you're not supposed to follow them the whole time? you live forever and all your practitioners have short lives and you're expected to only show up for them when they light a candle and not any other time? you're not supposed to care about their rambling and their hobbies?? you have all the time in the world and your followers think you don't have time to care about their day??????? what???????????

i was eating crackers and lucifer fr went "i wish i could feed you🥰🫠"

If you're one of these people who are doing this, take a step back. Don't get upset, breathe. And then ask yourself why do you feel this way? Why would a deity or a divine entity leave their divine partners for you? Why wouldn't they be married to mortals? Why wouldn't they have multiple partners? This monogamous relationship thing is a human concept. Realign yourself. You'll be happier. I promise. Don't put your divine partner in a box.

but for the love of all things, do not buy the Spirit Marriage book by Megan Rose

It is bad and gets genuinely awful in subtle, twisted ways that might trick people into ableism, s*xism, even racism and Overtly antisemitism

This begins my series of posts on Godspousery

Art: by art of yayu

After receiving permission from my deities; I have been guided to share some of my experience with spousery as it may be of help or interest to some, since there is a lot of confusion and misconceptions around what this path actually is and means.

To preface this: I am more traditional and old school meaning that godspousery to my eyes is only marriage to the divine. I have been married to both my spouses ( who are demonic divine dark lords) for 6 years (at point of this writing) and have worked closely with various divine beings and spirits for close to 16 years now.

I have noticed in more recent times that some people misconstrue the term godspouse to mean just about any and all types of relationships with the divine. In my experience this is not the case. It is not a term that covers all types of relationships ( ie familial, platonic, devotional etc). Nor should it be used as a catch all phrase as there is a distinct difference between these types of relationships. Genuine godspousery is not the same as a platonic or other relationship with the divine. Nor is it a stand in for any form of romantic or sexual relationship with the divine.  The term spouse is used for a reason ( ie married to the divine). I am also of the viewpoint that devotional polytheism and devotee ought to be used more often to refer to these other types of relationships instead of lumping it all together under one term.

Godspousery is a sacred path and practice. It is not something to be taken lightly nor for the human egoic wants and needs, since its really not about you or your ego. I have the experience of having a patron, having normal devotional and/or working relationships with gods, spirits and Demonic divine as well as being espoused. All of these types of relationships are different; though most often share an element of devotion and being a devotee and some are more heavily focused on this then others- such as patronage. While godspousery and patronage both have heavy elements of devotion to them, one of the key differences I have found is that my spouses are connected to me on a much deeper level, soul level- then just normal devotion. They know me ( the entirety of my being) in ways few others do. How we connect on this deep level is rather like puzzle pieces fitting together- but in a way in which each of use is whole in and of ourselves (still learning to be on my part; though it is encouraged)- however there is a sense of joining and completeness to this relationship. Of balance between us all so that we may build and prosper together. It feels like home. Of course there is love as well- but this more complex than what humans often consider love to be. Especially with such darker beings as I am bound with. The Demonic divines’ ( and deities’ ) understanding of what love is reaches far beyond what humans know it as. And often it may not look like anything humans are familiar with. There is also a lot of trust and learning to trust my spouses in this and on my personal path. There is a depth of presence and feeling of being held in a sense but  rather across all aspects of myself and in all realms, that comes with this perhaps particularly to my dynamic at least.

 On this- a side note; there is no room in godspousery especially at this depth of relationship, for co-dependence or toxic/problematic attachment styles  or relationship patterns etc. If one genuinely connects with a god/god-level being on this level and one still has these problematic traits; they are soon worked through so that a healthier type of relationship between the parties is formed and possible. One thing about this is that a genuine deity/ god-level being- will not tolerate, enable or conform to ones insecurities or problematic/toxic attachment styles and relationship patterns. They can help one to move and heal into a healthier place, but they will not interact with you in a way that enables these styles to continue- especially in a such a depth of relationship. While the deities and beings in question may be “understanding” of this is a way- they do not enable it.

One of the main differences I have found between Patronage and Spousery- is that while my Patron knows me well as well and knows my soul so to speak- it is a less intimate dynamic in a sense. He knows me well and guides me as a close mentor, cares about me specifically and guides my path, but there is more of an overarching kind of strategy to it. Not to say that my Spouses don’t also have this, but it is a bit more calculating and for me patronage, is more focused on guiding me rather than the intimate relationship that Spousery affords. My Husbands feel closer to my heart and more deeply “internally” connected- They nourish my soul and They are a place of rest. While my Patron can also nourish me it is not to the depth of how my Husbands do so. ((sometimes for some godspouses; a patron may be the Spouse, but this is the difference I have noted between Them in my situation.)

Godspousery is also different from parental relationship with deities. Parental relationships (which I experienced while being a devotee of Setekh and Kali ma) feel very- well parental. While I was deeply devoted to them, regular worship, bhakti etc, It was more casual in a way. I could connect about anything and they would offer advice or aid. Tbh it was impactful and healing but it was not this soul level depth that my Spouses have. While I called Setekh and Kali Ma my patrons and for a while they were- it is still a different relationship from my actual patronage with Lord Abaddon. In all cases I felt cared about by these divine beings and have been intimate with them. But with the more “parental deities” it wasn’t so personal, so deep reaching and was more similar to a “regular” devotee relationship with a deity. My spouses are also obviously a lot more intimate with me and also know me with a depth that the others “don’t”. All of these relationships have been and are very valuable and meaningful to my journey and path. But being espoused- my Partners also have more impact on me then anyone else.

How could I look away?

Godspousing involves choice and consent.

The large majority of people do not arrive on this earth already bound to a deity romantically, nor do the majority of people have past lives where they were married to a deity.

It happens. It's not unheard of. But it's not the normative state of godspousing.

To 'godspouse' someone is to actively choose to be in an intimate relationship with them.

Godspousing is dating. You're dating a god or other entity.

This is why choice and consent is key, because if you're assigned a deity without your knowledge, one that you're already a packaged romantic unit with? There is zero consent involved in that.

There is also zero work put into building that relationship.

Anyone who tells you that you're already in a 'spousal' relationship with a god without your knowledge or prior consent, is selling you the idea that you're a Special Person with Special Privileges.

While believing you're the main character, the Mary Sue, the most unique person ever is part of growing up into an adult, people usually phase out of it by their late teens.

The urge to be romantically locked into a relationship with a god (without your knowledge or prior consent) like a fated pair is the same urge that makes a child want to be a special person with special privileges.

It's the very human desire to be wanted and loved, to be needed by someone or something that cannot and will not abandon you, that is required by the Fates to be there for you.

That's why the fated pair trope is so popular among teenagers and young adults. We all want to be loved and needed.

Godspousing requires work, as it is an active relationship between you and a god.

Just like dating a human requires you to work on the relationship, so does dating a god or other entity.

The idea that a capital-G God loves you innately, without any work put forth, is a Cultural Christian one. Even if you didn't grow up Christian, pagan spaces in the Western world are often built by ex-Christians or were built off of esoteric texts that coopted Catholicism and Christianity.

A god does not love you automatically, but neither do they hate you automatically. Like any other person in the world, they probably lean benevolent to neutral toward strangers.

Perhaps they do feel love toward you if you're a member of their faith, or if you have a prior connection to them.

But the idea that you can be randomly assigned a god that you're automatically 'spoused' to, without dating them, without even speaking to them, who loves you and is tied to you forever and ever... is not what godspousing is.

Aphrodite🕊 and Ares⚔️

Ares is the relief after yelling, screaming, or crying

Ares is the way that siblings will argue and fight, and be back on good terms within a few hours

Ares is a sore throat after singing so loudly to a song that perfectly encompasses all the emotions you’re feeling

Ares is a smug smile after doing something You’re proud of yourself for

Ares is standing up for yourself, even when you’re anxious to do so

Ares is for everyone who has a bad relationship with their father, and for the people who look for a better father figure elsewhere

Ares is breaking the cycle

Ares is trying every day, even though it’s so fucking hard sometimes

Ares is swearing for emphasis

Ares is angry crying

Ares is doing whatever you can to survive, even if the coping mechanism is unhealthy, but letting go when it no longer helps you

He’s the sound of your heart beating, and lets you know you’re still alive.

He’s the courage to keep going, no matter what happens.

He’s the feeling of doing what you needed to.

He’s the feeling of not being afraid anymore.

He is Strength and Courage.

But I also find Him when I sit down and do nothing but breathe for a few minutes.

Godspousal and my practice

Godspousal is a topic I covered very frequently on my old blog, Light of Delphi. This was back when I was fully devoted to Lord Apollon, before I was taken under King Zeus’s wing and served Him. However, just because my path has shifted does not mean I am no longer spoused to Him - in fact, the whole reason I didn’t talk about it on this blog was due to fear of backlash or being told that I was making things up in my head. However, to combat the stigma surrounding godspousal, it’s important to talk about it. So here I am, talking about it. 

Any hate will not be tolerated and will result in a block.

Shout out to pagans who have sexual relationships with their deities and are judged or attacked for it.

Shout out to pagans who have a parental relationship with their deities and don't feel taken seriously or belittled by others.

Shout out to pagans that are aro-/ ace- spec and feel uncomfortable with the idea of bringing romance or intimacy into relationships with their deities.

Shout out to pagans who see/hear/feel their deities and are called crazy or mentally ill for it.

Shout out to pagans who cannot sense or feel their deities at all and feel left out or disconnected from the community.

Shout out to pagans who are mentally ill and have a hard time knowing if something is real or not and aren't sure how exactly their relationship with their deities is.

Shout out to pagans who are chronically ill or disabled and feel like they can't do as much for their deities as they'd like to/as other pagans.

Shout out to young and new pagans who have no idea where they're at with their deities.