Ellen

Lawson has always wanted to protect Brody. From the second he saw him he knew he’d do anything for him, and even though help came a little too late, it was Lawson’s insistence that something be done that brought Morgan to the Outlaws. But he was scared to nest with Brody for reasons he chose not to think about, reasons he pushed away along with his nesting instincts. And then after learning the full extent of Coates’ abuse, Lawson thought he could never nest with Brody. Which meant he might have to isolate himself completely once the nest finally overtook him.

It actually worked out that they spent their summer away from anything hockey related, it kept the instinct at bay. Lawson was afraid the first time he saw a net he wouldn’t be able to hold back, but he was still too scared to talk to Brody about it. He wasn’t sure Brody even knew about goalie nesting, it doesn’t always happen to adolescent goalies, it’s possible he’s never been on a team with a nesting goalie. And now Lawson’s afraid if he even begins to speak about nesting it’ll trigger it in him. He hasn’t ever gone this long without nesting.

He tries not to think about it, and he makes it through training camp without nesting.

And Brody’s getting better. He’s healing and getting all those plugs put back into place. Lawson gets to have him in every way now. So what’s he waiting for? He can’t find an excuse to put off the conversation any longer, and he can feel the stirrings of his instincts beginning.

The two of them are eating at Lawson’s, but a wave of nerves and guilt washes over Lawson and he losses his appetite. Brody notices.

“Not hungry? You ok?” Brody mumbles between bites.

Lawson shakes his head as if to clear it and responds “yeah I’m ok. But I need to talk to you about something.” He can’t put it off any longer if he wants to talk to Brody about it before the nest kicks in.

Brody sets his fork down, pauses their Netflix show, and turns his body towards Lawson where he sits next to him on the couch. Brody can be all over the place, but when there’s something important to focus on, he stills. Lawson notices Brody becomes still with him more than anyone, that makes him feels special.

“What’s up?”

“Do you… have you ever been on a team with a nesting goalie?”

“No, but did you know only 2% of professional adult goalies never nest? And of those 2%, three quarters are in the AHL or a lower league? So of the non nesting goalies, less than 1% are in the NHL.”

“Uuhh I did not know that, no.” Lawson turns pink, hoping he doesn’t have to spell this out for Brody.

“And there are only three NHL teams that don’t have their own nesting room at either their practice facility or arena, and we’re one of those teams. Kinda messed up, right? We should talk to Morgan about that.” Brody goes to pick up his fork but freezes halfway there and lets out a quiet “oh” before turning back towards Lawson. He tries to wait for Lawson to speak but he can’t help but fill the silence. “Do you… have you… do you nest?” He almost whispers the question.

Lawson lets out a nervous chuckle and finds the courage and peace to speak up “I do nest, yes. I’ve been able to resist since I met you because I knew I’d need you as my nesting partner and I didn’t want to mess things up between us before they even started. But now that the season’s started and it’s been over a year since I nested last, I won’t be able to resist much longer. I might be in pre nesting now. Honestly since we’ve started this conversation I’ve felt like I’ve had a fever and that’s always the first sign for me.”

“Did you know that not all nesting goalies pre nest? Some just snap, and the ones who don’t pre nest are usually aggressive nesters, the biters” Brody chomps his teeth in Lawson’s direction and they both giggle about it. Lawson’s a little perplexed by Brody’s reaction.

“Are you not concerned about this?”

“No. I’ve researched it a lot. It’s fascinating. And now, since I know you pre nest, I’m not too worried about you biting me.”

“I will definitely bite you, but I’m not aggressive…”

“Wait when is biting not aggressive?”

“You ever have a golden retriever ‘bite’ you?” Lawson puts bite in air quotes “where they just, like, put their mouth on you? It’s like that” Lawson continues as Brody nods his head. “well, my last nesting partner told me it was like that.” Brody goes a little pink.

“I… don’t love thinking about you nesting with anyone else.” Brody says to his plate, pushing his food around with his fork. Lawson laughs at him with no malice.

“Now that I have you, neither do I. But I’ll definitely pick you. I could’ve said that with certainty even before this conversation but now, yeah I’m definitely pre nesting now, I know it’ll be you.”

“I’ll be the best nesting partner, won’t I?” It’s not really a question, Brody puts his hands on his hips and beams at Lawson.

“Definitely” Lawson reaches out and squeezes Brody’s knee. “Oh man, this is gonna be a short pre nest, it’s been too long.” Lawson feels hot all over, like he’s going to shed his skin. He’s feels too protective over Brody and over his team. He needs to change into some Outlaws branded clothes… and so does Brody. Now. does he have pads and a glove at home? Only old ones, nothing in Outlaws colors… they should definitely talk to Morgan about a nesting room.

Brody can see the gears turning in his boyfriends head. It’s only 5, Morgan should still be available to help out. Brody texts him to ask about creating a nesting room at the rink on short notice then asks Lawson “do you think you’ll make it through the night?”

“Yeah, I should anyway. Actually I’m not sure, I’ve never put it off this long.”

“Well I texted Morgan to see about creating a nesting room at the rink. Should we stay the night there?”

“Yeah I really can’t see how I’ll be able to travel tomorrow even if I’m still in pre nesting. The sun will be too much to handle.”

Brody’s phone begins to ring before Lawson is done speaking. It’s Morgan. Brody answers and puts it on speaker “we’ve got a nesting goalie on our hands, dad”

Morgan laughs and lets them know he’d thought about creating a nesting room at the practice facility and he’d talked to Kathy about it too. They both agreed it was a good idea and picked out the room already too. “Lawson I’m assuming Brody will be your nesting partner, right?” Lawson nods

“Uh oh, he just nodded Morgan. I don’t think we’ve got much time left.”

Lawson shakes his head as if to shake off the nest and speaks up “I’m still here but Brody’s right, I’m slipping fast.”

Morgan asks “when’s the last time you nested? Did you hide it from us last year? You didn’t need to do that buddy…” Lawson cuts him off.

“No pet names right now please, I’m trying to stay sharp as long as I can. Please tell me you can get a room set up at the practice rink tonight, I nested at home at the beginning of last summer and it was… not great.”

His ribs had been broken, he could barely breath, and his backup goalie was his nesting partner. He was a good enough nesting partner, not someone he would’ve chosen but he didn’t have the opportunity to choose. He sobbed the whole time, half the time because of his circumstances and half the time from the pain. It was awful, and he knew if he nested at home again it would be agony.

“Got it. Give me about an hour and I’ll check back in with you. Call me if you need anything before then.”

“You got it Moogs” Brody responds, chipper as ever, and disconnects the call. He turns his attention back to Lawson “let’s finish eating then pack up, sound good?”

Lawson nods, then forces himself to speak. “Sounds good. I really want us to both change into outlaws stuff like right now but I know that won’t help slow down the process. This is crazy, I usually pre nest for at least three days…” Lawson shivers and Brody reaches out to comfort him, but Lawson stops him and says “not a great idea to touch me right now. I love you and that’s very sweet, but I’ve got to prevent this as long as I can. I can’t nest here again, I can’t. We’ve got to make it to the practice rink.”