Shit White People say to BIPOC Folks in PDX

<3 it can be very lonely here. We hope you've been able to make some friends/connections since you sent this.

My other experience I wanted to share is more related to how awkward being a POC is in professional environments in Portland. Recently I attended a meeting with city planners, developers, neighborhood representatives, and my own colleagues. In a room of about 20 people, I was one of three women, and the only person of color. I felt like a sore thumb.. people were even afraid to look at me directly, or make eye contact. I was the elephant in the room. 

I am of mixed Mexican American and Czechoslovakian decent, and because I am mixed, I do sometimes have passing white privilege. After moving to PDX I got a job at a well known doughnut shop that appropriates the "aesthetically pleasing" parts of some Afro-American religions  (that should have been a big red flag to start with right?!). One day after I was done training a new hire, who happen to be the second Mexican American newly hired that week, the shift manager walks up to me and asks which shop the new hire was going to work at. I replied, "I think he is gong to work at this shop." Then the manager throws his arms up and lets out a huge sigh. Then he loudly proclaims with disappointment, "Great! Just what we need, another spic around here!" My mouth drops open and I glare at the manager and say "WTF?! I'm fucking Mexican, dude!" The manager turns to me and says all soft and gentle, "Oh, Kat I am so sorry, I thought you were Jewish because of your hairy arms and all." As though his mislabeling of me somehow made a difference at all to his douchebaggery! I have been called every single slur about Mexicans while living in PDX. I am also continually asked, "What are you?" UGH! it is infuriating.

I am Latinx, so, apparently, he assumed I'd be terrified (I'm also a citizen). I was busy looking at notes on my way to a final and didn't want to give him the reaction he wanted. At least the women replied "No, it f**king wouldn't." (thanks ladies). 

i am a young asian woman. i was at my psychiatrist appointment the other day and while my psychiatrist was explaining to me an experiment, she tried to relate by saying, "supposing i'm ling-ling, right... and ling-ling is asian, like you". it is really not outrageous or anything but for real.. i was frozen for a solid second because i really did not know if my psychiatrist was only trying to relate to being me or she just picked the first "asian" name she could think of and it happened to be a slur. like was she being racist or was i too sensitive.

someone at an uppity athletic club, near downtown Portland, recently asked me what's the difference between all of you "oriental" folks?  such an ignoramus doesn't deserve a response, correct?!  but, i felt obligated to educate the ignorant.  My answer to this stupid question? - same noodles, different sauces.  'Oh, thought so.' was this moron's reaction.  these people may have money, but they do not have a clue!  it is too bad that we are surrounded by all of these small minded people who rule and run this city.

I'm from New Orleans but travel to Portland for business sometimes for conferences downtown. Last time I was heading back to PDX in an Uber, I had this white guy telling me how sorry he was that I lived in such a racist shithole and how horrible it must be to live in the south. Meanwhile, I'm thinking that I've only seen a handful of people my skin tone the whole time I been here. At home I see people like me every day working hand in hand with people of all color. I wonder if these white kids have ever left Portland, much less the US.

I am half Indigenous, half Jewish AFAB and nonbinary.  I used to go to a queer hot tub night. I had a cis white gay man tell me that he wished, "he was just a little native so he wouldn't have to feel his white guilt". I never went back. 

what do you all think?

Definitely worth feeling upset over! 

this question from you a white person to a BIPOC blog is literally an example of something someone might submit here as a microaggression. Move along. 

Not the place dude, move along. 

Yes, these absolutely are real stories.

Last week I was off for the holidays, but my girl had to go to work on the day after Christmas. She’d forgotten to bring a lunch, and she works downtown where everything is overpriced for the most part. So I decided to spontaneously bring her something and chill with her on her break (so romantic right). Anyway, her building is right next to Peet’s Coffee so we went there. The table we sat at was in the back right near the bathroom. It’s getting close to the time that she has to get back to work and the place is getting pretty crowded. A line starts to form for the bathroom near our table. So we’re carrying on with our convo and being cute or whatever, having a moment. And this white lady walks up to my girl and just puts her hand in my girl’s hair...she didn’t even say hello first. My girl’s hairstyle is like these really big curls. It’s super cute. The lady just grabs at it and says “Ugh, your hair is so beautiful.” I was legit in shock. Like people really do that? Like grown ass adults? I dealt with it mostly when I was younger and with people I know or at least acquaintances. But never have I seen a complete stranger do it without even saying hi first. I’m sure my face showed my disgust and shock. And my girl was so nice about it. I expected her to pop off but she said thank you. What trips me out the most is that the lady (probably feeling the tension and our discomfort) says, “Oh I know I probably shouldn’t touch it. I’m sorry it’s so nice.” So if you know then why would you???? I was sooo confused. That made it even worse to me. Like she’s well aware of the implications, but still decided to do it? My girl responds saying, “Yeah people usually just don’t touch it,” in the nicest but also firmest way. We dipped soon after because the lady was still standing there waiting to use the restroom. It was so awkward and weird and I felt like we both didn’t process it until after we left. Like wow. White folks really out here just groping black people’s hair without acknowledging the person first. The audacity.