Bi women can’t talk about being happy (either single or in a relationship) because then people will take that as us having no problems in the world. Bi people can’t talk about mundane issues such as media representation or language about bisexuals because that’s too trivial. Bi women can’t talk about their sex lives or wanting to be polyamorous because that’s seen as too dirty and too gross and too predatory. Bi women can’t produce or consume “sappy wuhluhwuh content” because that’s seen as defanging and disrespecting lesbian identity and yet they can’t talk about bisexual social alienation/trauma/invisibility/loneliness because “invisibility is a privilege” and because “those things are just stolen terms from gay and lesbian people”. 

Bi women can’t talk about being unicorn hunted on dating apps because apparently they don’t face that issue and instead perpetuate it and force lesbians to have threesomes with their male partners (apparently). Bi women can’t talk about intracommunity biphobia without being told that we aren’t radical for dating men and that LGBT spaces are safe gay spaces that we’d be invading. 

Bi women can’t call themselves gay even when they’re in gay relationships. Bi women can’t call themselves tops or bottoms even when they’re having regular gay sex. Bi women can’t call themselves queer because that’s a slur but oh wait, it’s okay when other people weaponize that word against us. Bi women can’t call themselves masc or femme because they’d be stealing those terms from lesbians but oh wait they can’t call themselves tomcats, does, or stags because those terms are cringeworthy imitations of butch/femme. Bi women can’t talk about gender expression without being told they’re appropriating “real” gay culture. Bi women can’t talk about femininity without being told they perform it for men and bi women can’t talk about masculinity without being told that being bi makes it impossible for them to be masculine. 

Bi women can’t talk about how unique relationships between bi women and bi men or bi women and bi women or bi men and bi men are. Bi women can’t call their relationships “bisexual” relationships because that’s somehow “anti-materialism”. Bi women can’t talk about loving their male partners because that’s anti-feminist but they can’t talk about hating men as a class or their trauma with respect to men without being told that it means they must actually be “lesbians suffering from comphet”. 

Bi women can’t talk about solidarity with LGBT people without being seen as selfish, nor can they talk about just bi women without being seen as selfish. 

Bi women can’t talk about the material, systemic, and sexual violence we face because apparently it isn’t real, no matter how much empirically validated proof we offer, and if we do talk about it, we’re stealing lesbian specific experiences or erasing lesbian specific experiences or trying to claim gay and lesbian specific experiences. 

Bi women can’t talk about our place in overall LGBT history (because we were apparently invented in 1998) and we can’t talk about bisexual history (because that’s *spins wheel* taking the focus off the REAL radicals in the community). 

Bi women have to be politically perfect all the time and have to allow people to scrutinize their personal lives and interpersonal relationships and sexual histories/traumas but it’s okay for people to not be in solidarity with us or to even offer us an ounce of empathy (and if we ask for it we’re whiny, selfish, and crying about non-issues). Bi women have to hate themselves and each other and hold each other responsible for all the world’s problems 24/7 but can never hold people responsible for biphobia. 

Bi women can’t even talk about any of these things on their own blogs, in their own spaces, on their own time, with other bi women, because that’s just too much.

Any biphobes will be instantly blocked. Also, this post isn’t for transmisogynists and transphobes, so keep your hands off. 

Abuse, sexual violence, assault, fetishization, intimate partner violence, domestic violence, rape: 

Outsourced: What does stalking look like, and what resources are available?

CDC: The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey - 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation

Bisexual women nearly twice as likely to be abused by a partner / ONS statistics based in the United Kingdom*

Sexual Victimization and Associated Risks Among Lesbian and Bisexual Women

Bisexual Women, Non-Monogamy and Differentialist Anti-Promiscuity Discourses (based in the UK)*

Filling the Silence: Exploring the Bisexual Experience of Intimate Partner Abuse (based in the UK)* 

Bisexual Women Say #MeToo

Amber Heard Pens Op-Ed About How Abusive Men Stay Protected

8 Relationship Reminders for Bisexual Women That You Don’t Get Nearly Enough

Apphia Kumar’s website* (She was the first person to gain asylum in the United States for being specifically bisexual. She is an Indian woman. When she came out in India, she faced stalking and sexual harassment, forcing her to apply for asylum in the US). 

General demographics, compilations, resources, and studies: 

HRC: Supporting and Caring for Bisexual Youth 

Invisible Majority: The Disparities Facing Bisexual People and how to Remedy them

From Bias to Bisexual Health Disparities: Attitudes Toward Bisexual Men and Women in the United States

Attitudes Toward Bisexual Women and Men

UN: Report of the Independent Expert on protection against violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity

Health, access to healthcare, HIV/AIDS, health-related outcomes: 

Bisexual men, women have worst access to health care, UCLA study says / The study in question

IU researcher contributes to prominent journal’s first special section focused on bisexual health

Introduction to the Special Section on Bisexual Health: Can You See Us Now?

Bisexual women most vulnerable to poor health and wellbeing* (based in Australia) 

Disparities in Health-Related Quality of Life: A Comparison of Lesbians and Bisexual Women

I’m Bisexual & Here’s How The “Getting Tested” Conversation Happens With Men Vs. Women

Media bias, media representation, queer theory, and stereotyping: 

What’s in a Name? Bisexuality, Transnational Sexuality Studies and Western Colonial Legacies

The Bisexual Imaginary: Representation, Identity, and Desire

This is the real reason Amber Heard came out as bisexual

Mental illness, psychosocial disorders and outcomes, psychotherapy and resources: 

Affirmative Psychotherapy with Bisexual Women

Becoming Visible: Counseling Bisexuals Across the Lifespan

Poverty, homelessness, food/housing/employment insecurity, educational disparities: 

Bisexual poverty is overlooked by the LGBT+ community 

An Examination of Poverty and Sexual Orientation in the UK* 

Street Outreach Program Data Collection Study 2016

The Truth About Bisexual College Students And Hunger

Substance abuse, alcoholism, addiction: 

Sexual minorities more likely to suffer severe substance use disorders (article) / Actual empirical research study that this article summarizes 

Substance Use and Misuse: Are Bisexual Women at Greater Risk?

They also said this shit

Press coverage of Amber Heard’s sexuality shows that biphobia is alive and well– and has terrible costs

“Amber Heard‘s sexuality is only relevant in that bi women are at far greater risk of experiencing intimate partner violence…”