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@bionicallywriting
by dimda_

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Hi Bionically! Hope you're having a lovely week. Before you step away from the fandom I just want to let you know how much I love It Happened in Egypt. It's genuinely one of my favourite Dramione fics. Your Hermione and Draco feel so real to me, and the action, humour and dialogue throughout is so so good! Three chapters in one week was a lovely surprise as well. Thanks for this fic - I know I'll be reading it over and over again in the future <3
Thank you so much for this lovely note! It really made my week. ❤️
It's finally finished! I posted the last two chapters of Egypt today (epilogue as well).
I couldn't have finished this without my friend @disenchantedglow who was a tireless cheerleader and brainstormer and who wouldn't let me quit the story and reminded to post the chapters instead of slacking.
Anyway here it is: Chapter 28 in ao3 and ffn.
Thank you all for being so supportive along the way!
Omg I've been waiting for an Egypt update, thank you!!! And I just saw your post below that you're moving on from the HP fandom which is very, very sad. But thank you for resolving to finish It Happened in Egypt, a bright spot in the otherwise dark 2021.
Thank you so much for the compliment and I'm also so sorry for making everyone wait so long 😭
Here's Egypt Chapter 27!
It Happened in Egypt Chapter 26 is here.
Enjoy the poutery that is Draco the drama king.
Excerpt:
To his everlasting disgust and horror, right on the precipice of salvation and solace, he’d come up against this latest surprise of the evening.
Weasley and Potter were here.
With his mum.
He should have been ecstatic to see her, but a grown man did not want his mother to see him without clothing— ever.
So there was that twin horror that he was still in the process of recovering from.
Draco was unexpectedly thrown back to school days with the appearance of those two now newly minted Aurors. While he’d been surrounded by his fussing parents, he’d glanced over to find Granger, as always, sandwiched between his two enemies in school.
Though to be fair, he'd held quite a grudge against Granger back at school himself, but that was before he'd come to know her better and realise she was actually fun .
It didn't mean that Potter and Weasley were included in this epiphany, and the fact that they'd been accepted into the Auror training program without completing their N.E.W.T.s was something that continued to rankle. Special treatment, anyone?
Even if he could now admit to himself that he'd been immature and a horror at school, that didn't mean he planned on talking about it or, heaven forbid, apologise for it. As for Weasley and Potter, they were equally as big of shits right back to him, so really, if any apologies were to be had, he planned on being the receiving end of them.
The point was, the appearance of those two idiots wasn't filling him with lightness and joy as it seemed to be doing for Granger, and the sight of them hugging it out as though they'd personally been involved in life-risking adventures was as annoying as it was laughable. Granger should be hugging him (or vice versa, whatever) for not having died on her, except she was too busy having other, less attractive male friends hang off her arm like she was a clothes hanger.
Honestly, it was still difficult to look at Potter and Weasley and not want to smash their faces into a pulp. Now they were cooing over Granger as though she were a baby bird in need of rescuing, and he could feel his face rearranging itself into the familiar set of his normal scowl.
A small voice told him to go over there and join them , and he was surprised by how much he wanted to, but she was barely looking in his direction. Old habits took over, and he turned his back on the room. Granger belonged with them, and he was perfectly happy with where he was.
Draco wasn’t going to lie to himself. He’d had a fairly coddled life. With the exception of those few years in school when terror surrounded him on all sides, he’d had a minimal amount of stress economically and socially. Especially set against the company of Granger, Draco was beginning to find that he was overly sheltered, and it shamed him a little (not that he’d ever admit it out loud). That was the delightful thing about Granger—or so he’d thought—she didn’t make a fuss over such things or she hadn’t once they’d become allies and friends.
But maybe that’d all been a lie, since she wasn’t paying him one iota drop of attention, and that currently seemed hugely unfair to him. Who had been the one who’d been tortured (maybe not to the extent of Voldemort torture, but that excessively thorough stripping and strung up in the air should count) and sentenced to die? She should be fussing over him as well. His arm still hurt from the bleeding, and nobody (and no Granger, but who was naming names?) was bothering to check on him.
He felt vaguely like pouting.

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It Happened in Egypt chapter 25 is up, yay me!
Here tis.
Excerpt:
Her split second of indecision shook her concentration. At the very end of the Apparition, she also happened to see, as though through a blurry foggy tunnel, the inside of Zabini’s boat, and there were so many people inside—shouldn’t there just be Zabini and Nadi? Had Zabini decided to give an impromptu party? Given how he was, Hermione really wouldn’t have been surprised.
She lost control, and the three of them landed with a jumble of limbs and hubbub of shouting. For a moment, her mind blanked as she wondered if she’d splinched someone. Dittany, she was already thinking. Did Blaise have that on hand? That seemed unlikely.
Hermione tried to sit up and couldn’t. She was very firmly sandwiched between the naked muscled flesh of two Malfoy men in a way that made her not want to move for fear of touching anything she oughtn’t.
Her senses gradually came back to her in flashes—the wet, warm, and moving body below her, what was probably (hopefully) a hand on her waist, a patch of the bare skin of an upper shoulder squashing her cheek against her nose. They were as wetly intertwined as much as two giant squids and a Grindylow grappling in mud, and she felt just as agitated and desperate to escape.
Her hand became fully entangled in Lucius’ long, loose hair as she pulled herself up, and it was as though she had been enmeshed in wet seaweed. He growled, she yelped, and Draco underneath them yelled at them to get off him. Because she was clearly sitting on top of his—again, naked—very, very naked...er, midsection.
…Although at least nothing seemed to be broken.
Draco had the worst of it, being underneath her. Was it wrong of her to be slightly turned on by the warm clasp of his hand on her waist? She wasn’t being inappropriate, was she?
“GERROFF!” screeched a fourth voice.
a question i ask myself: will i ever get tired of the tropey, cliched tale of a poor girl stealing the heart of a mean, conceited rich boy only to find out he’s so s o f t?
The answer:
I made this a while back instead of writing but I have also just updated Egypt!
Here is Chapter 24.
Outtake from Chapter 4:
“I can transfigure something for you,” Hermione said.
Malfoy looked tempted for a brief second and then shook his head. “Maybe you can lend me your wand and I'll do my own transfiguring,” he said instead.
Hermione snorted. “You must be delusional. If I did that, then you would Apparate out of here and leave me stranded.”
“No, I wouldn't.”
She shot him a look. “How dumb do you think I am, Malfoy?”
“You don't know my measurements,” he said sulkily, although he kept glancing over the side of the boat to the other passengers frolicking in the water.
She glanced at him up and down. “Oh, I think I can venture a guess. Boys’ sizes, maybe?” she said innocently.
“Sod off, Granger,” he scowled. “I'm all man.”
She beckoned him closer. He eyed her suspiciously.
She sighed. “Do you want me to break the Statute of Secrecy?”
“I wouldn't mind it if you got caught, no,” he grumbled and sat down next to her.
They pretended to examine something in her bag while she yanked his belted waistband towards her. He yelped as she dug the tip of her wand into his side.
“Sorry, I can't see very well—”
“You're transfiguring my smalls, not trying to cut out my kidney!” he hissed.
“Stop moving around!” she gritted and murmured the incantation. With a sigh, she shoved him away. “It's done. This really isn't in my job description, you know.”
Malfoy had risen to his feet, pulled his shirt out of his pants, and was unbuckling his belt very slowly. She eyed him narrowly.
“Could you move farther off?” she said. “Stop unbuckling in front—Look, you're right in front of me. Your waistband is at eye level. We look—unseemly. Suspicious,” she corrected as he smirked. “Shut up.”
I just want to say I hope everything is well and that I totally miss you and your amazing story ideas and reading your works 🌸
Thank you! That's so lovely of you to say! 😭 I've sort of moved on from the HP fandom, but I'm trying to finish the works I've got that are outstanding here. ❤️
*Slips on invisibility cloak with a wink and a smile* 💛💚❤️💙 You are an awesome human being, my dear! 💛💚❤️💙 *Flounces away with a skip and a spin, humming ‘Walking on Sunshine*
I'm so late with this, but so are you!

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It's March 2020, part 2. Are we in a time loop???
i love how the news keeps trying to get us to see the seriousness of the Suez Situation like:
and we’re all like: no, the big boat is stuck and that’s all i need to know.
Update: there are 53 fics now!! The number nearly doubled overnight!!
I mean if you need something to destress
TOP HITS OF THE EVER GIVEN SERIES; TWITTER EDITION

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- @jistring
PUT YOUR HAND IN THAT CRACK
AND YOU WONT GET IT BACK
WHEEEEN THE JAWS OPEN WIDE
AND THERE’S MORE JAWS INSIDE
WHEN IT SWIMS ON A REEF
AND HAS TWO SETS OF TEETH
WHEN IT JUMPS FROM THE MUCK
AND YOU SCREAM “WHAT THE FUCK!?”
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Tom Hardy as ‘Reggie’ in Legend (2015)