nobody lays hands on me

Ethan Duncan too showed more warmth towards Cosima than Rachel. Oh he reached out for her hand and cried and begged for forgiveness when they first reunited. But their next meeting he didn’t seem to care that telling Rachel he designed her to be sterile in such a cold matter would be hurtful. Of course he was her prisoner in a sense but he wasn’t trying to connect with her as a father at all. He gave up on her as daughter immediately without trying. He punished her in the most severe disgusting way possible by committing suicide and telling her it was her fault. Because she doesn’t deserve him anymore. He sat there dying as she crying and screaming No you can’t leave me again. Perhaps unable to answer due to the drugs in his system or perhaps to cowardly when confronted by his daughter heartbreak.

Both Rachel’s parents abandoned her and both found her wanting when they returned to her. Both preferred her sister clones over her. Cosima being the favorite of them both. Cosima is warmer, friendly, more open and loves sciences in the way they do. I can’t help but wonder if Comisa reminds them of young Rachel who seemed out going. Sarah catch the Duncans eyes as well. I think Ethan was disappointed to find the sweet loving child he remembered was gone and in her place stood a cold young woman. The monsters took her and made her one of them. So he selfishly and and cruelly abandoned Rachel again after having just reunited with her. He abandoned her emotionally before his final abandonment of suicide.

Susan on the other hand was disappointed not because she missed the child version of Rachel. She was disappointed in who Rachel had grown up to be. Not interested enough in the science side of things. Not like Susan and Cosima are. Though Rachel clearly knows a great deal about the science side. Susan is disappointed that Rachel isn’t as good of person as Sarah and Cosima. Doesn’t have the right kind of fire they have. Disappointed that Rachel isn’t leader she wants her to be. Disappointed when Rachel goes ahead on her own path. I almost think Rachel could never be what Susan wanted. Susan wanted to hurt Rachel with her words but she told her daughter regretted making her. She made sure to do damage with her words. She knows Rachel wants to hear that she regrets leaving her but instead she tells her she regrets making her.

All of these expectations that Rachel’s parents had she has no way to fill them. She was doomed to fail before she even met them and it’s entirely their fault. They set very high expectations on her. One to stay the girl sweet little girl he left behind and the other to become scientist, leader and model woman she wanted. They abandoned her to be raised in scientific glass dollhouse as self aware clone. Ethan didn’t even try to get to know adult Rachel. He didn’t try to reach out to his daughter. He tired harder with Cosima a stranger who just as easy could’ve been Neo spy trying to get his science to save herself and restart cloning.

1) susan’s “you have no idea what you’ve done” – actually, i think that’s pretty unlikely. i think it’s likelier that rachel has a much clearer idea of what she’s doing than anyone else does, and i think it’s probably more nuanced than anyone expects 2) “if we want to know what happens when we cut our lab rats’ tails off we will damn well cut them off and see” – i don’t buy it, rachel. this doesn’t read like something you really believe, it reads like a performance for the benefit of the board. she’s given the same performance before, at 17, to a boardroom discussing helsinki protocol – that time it worked, but not her way. (well, it did ally her with ferdinand…) she’s had a decade to refine the plan since then – basically what i’m saying is that rachel strategically leads people to believe that she is ruthless, and brutal, because ultimately it masks her motives. if everyone thinks rachel is a bloodthirsty madwoman out for pure power, they’re not going to figure out her deeper motives. 3) “who would you pick, then, to be the first face of human cloning?” 4) “you think they’ll treat you any differently? you are owned, rachel”

this isn’t news to her. knowingly, she went to the board and demanded abject brutality. it was part of her plan.

she’s not trying to pull one over on susan and clone club. i think she’s trying to bring the entire organization to conflict, go public as the face, and get them all jailed

so let’s add in the concepts of a redemptive arc, and of rachel’s journey mirroring helena’s.