Featured tags: My Art, My Fics, My Steph Rambles, My Jason Rambles
Ask for headcanons and story snippets all the time! Hit me with them ideas and requests, I’m always in need of extra ideas.
My fanfics:
Precautions
Jason Todd comes back from the dead six months after his burial. Luckily for him, Dick Grayson has taken precautions for this exact scenario - and is there to help him out of his grave.
Shell Shock
Batman can't kill to avenge Robin. But Bruce Wayne isn't Batman. Jason Todd isn't Robin. And protection is another cup of tea entirely.
Ice Cream
Jason Todd has never said no to ice cream in his entire life.
In other words, Dick finds out his little brother came back to life, and unapologetically yanks him back into the family with the power of ice cream and mental breakdowns.
Biscotti di Prato
Jason - the brutal and newly established crime lord Red Hood - might have made up with his brother, but Bruce knows he is not welcome in his son's life. And who could blame him?
Promise of Life
After deciding against killing Bruce with the car bomb, Jason realises he needs to remove it if he doesn't want Bruce to find it - and for that, he needs to sneak into the Manor.
He just didn't expect to run into Bruce. Not like this.
(Be careful with this one. It’s the best one imo but heed the tags.)
Laika
Jason Todd cries about what was done to Laika and Félicette. Bruce, looking to gather intel on the Red Hood a day after saving him from three assassins, finds him and sits with him instead. This changes things.
The fanfics get more and more close to canon as you go down the list and I gained access to more comics (thank you readcomicsonline), so if that's important to you you should know I hadn't read a single DC comic except Absolute Wonder Woman when I wrote the first two. I grew up on Tintin and Asterix and got into this fandom via WFA.
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“Why couldn’t he do it for me?” but it’s not fucking “Why couldn’t Batman save me from the darkness and bring me into the light?” (because brother he’s THE LIGHT he’s THE HOPE he’s the boy who SAVED HIMSELF). “Why couldn’t he do it for me?” but it’s “Why couldn’t my father love me enough to choose me? Why couldn’t he choose me over the Joker? Why couldn’t he love me as much as I love him? Why couldn’t he prove that he really loves me by actions over useless words? Why couldn’t he love me enough to fight for me? Why couldn’t he?”
One thing about the tone of this sentence. “Why couldn’t he do it for me?” means that: he really thought that Bruce would do it. But Bruce didn’t. So he had to ask himself: why couldn’t he do it for me? Because he truly believed that Bruce would. The sentence “Why couldn’t he do it for me?” shows us one thing: broken hope.
Like have you ever asked yourself that sentence just once. They are your parents, and they love you, and you know that, so why can’t they just…. Love you enough to choose you? Over their work? Over something else? Over their pride? Why can’t they love you enough to really care for you? To listen to you? To compromise for you? To set aside something for you?
Now these expectations come especially from the fact that you know that they love you. That’s why you believe they would do it for you. Because you know they love you. So it broke you when it turned out that, yes they love you, but that love just isn't enough for them to do… anything for you.
It’s easier to accept that they actually don’t even love or care for you… rather than know that they love you but they won’t even do anything for you, and they’d still lied to you- betrayed you- hurt you- even if they love you. And you’ll have to struggle to accept that fact.
This is true with Jason too. “Jason doesn’t know that Bruce loves him,” but Jason’s expectation/hope that Bruce will kill Joker because “he took me away from you” is proof that he truly believes Bruce loves him, hence that expectation. If Jason believed Bruce didn’t care about or love him and only saw him as a failure, why would he hope Bruce would kill the Joker for him? Choose him over the Joker? “Jason doesn’t know how much Bruce loves him” actually, I think he knows that. He just doesn’t know—or think—or want to believe that that love wasn’t enough for Bruce to do… just anything.
Don't misunderstand, Jason, as Robin and before his resurrection, harbored expectations that Bruce would avenge him, but these expectations leaned more towards "trust," as his previous experiences with Bruce served as an unspoken promise of revenge, from seeing Bruce go berserk and want to kill Joker for "took her away from him" to Bruce describing the events in #425 as "a father's righteous rage seeking revenge for his son."
Jason's expectations were built on a rational and well-founded foundation, almost a belief in Bruce. On the other hand, Jason, after his resurrection, experiences disillusionment upon realizing that Bruce did not avenge him. This is where his belief crumbles. However, after all that, Jason STILL hopes that Bruce will choose him in the final confrontation. This is hope. He has no evidence to believe Bruce will choose him, but he... hoped that he would.
(I hope the hopefulness in his eyes makes you go sbksbekdbsksvdjdh <3....)
Even if we assume that Jason knows Bruce loves him, reality has proven that he doesn't love him enough to kill the Joker. Jason is betting that Bruce loves him enough to choose him in the confrontation, a hope despite the lack of evidence to support that belief/hope, even despite the evidence against that belief/hope, which is different from his trust/expectation of Bruce before his resurrection, and it's an extremely unfounded leap-faith hope. There's no evidence; the only thing Jason has is his persistent hope that Bruce will choose him because he loves him, despite the evidence against it.
Because it seems that "Jason not knowing that Bruce loves him" is... Jason's sin, while Jason still desperately hopes that Bruce will choose him based on his belief that Bruce loves him, even though all the evidence he's found so far proves otherwise. Who can blame Jason if he really believed Bruce didn't love him? Because all he knew since coming back to life was that Bruce easily replaced him, Joker was alive… and Hush. Yet everyone demanded that Jason know that Bruce loved him. And yet, it was true that Jason believed Bruce loved him with a fragile but persistent and unquenchable hope, a hope that was almost desperate, even though the situation at the time seemed…
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
But Bruce could do that for him, right? Because he loves him. Jason knows Bruce loves him. Yes, Bruce’d do it for him. He believed it, because he believed that Bruce loves him. Why wouldn’t Bruce do that for him? He would. He would. He would.
And that was how hopeful Jason was.
This hope even turns into an… endless cycle where Bruce constantly proves the opposite, yet Jason still hopes that he and Bruce could have a better relationship—that Bruce truly loves or cares about him enough to… actually care? That they could go back to how things were? Like a family? That they could have a better relationship? That persistent belief, that things between him and Bruce could be mended, despite everything looking…
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
Actually, I can understand that hope. And the way Jason repeatedly forgives Bruce whenever he shows even the slightest sign of remorse or a desire to make amends. Jason forgives Bruce because he still hopes things can change; he still believes in that possibility. The slighest amount of "oh, but he really do care" just seems like the true and real allowance for you to... continue to hope. Or, to put it more simply, imagine you could lie to a child as many times as you want with a promise, and every time you make that promise again, the child can know by experiences that you are lying, but can you tell me that the child didn’t have any hope- that this time would be different, that maybe, just maybe this time you will change? That you will really love them enough to care?
He didn’t make it easy for him to believe that he didn’t love him, because he does and he knows it, so he has to believe otherwise. He believes that- he wants to believe that- he has to believe that he loves him enough to change for him. He was hopeful.
"This isn't punishment, Jason. I love you." Cruel, cruel, cruel, Bruce.
"I know you love me, but I hope that you will love me enough. Maybe, maybe one day you’ll love me enough. I hope that one day you will love me enough."
But even though I grasp that hope?? On a fundamental level?? What Jason went through with Bruce was enough to snuff out any hope or capacity for forgiveness in an ordinary person. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say his threshold for endurance was extraordinarily high not normal limits?? After all, before he died, he had already forgiven his mother for selling him out to the Joker and effectively causing his death??
No, no, what I mean is. Just imagine it. This isn't merely holding onto hope after a betrayal involving a few lies, this is about: lying on the floor with blood pouring from your throat as the building explodes around you, standing on the very spot where you died, getting beaten until your helmet shatters, suffering panic attacks every two seconds after having your brain tampered with... and yet, after all that, still clinging to the belief—the hope—that the relationship between him and Bruce could improve…
Despite everything, Jason still desperately hoped that Bruce loved him— loves him enough, cares about him enough— that they could reconcile, that they could be happy together as a family. *clutches head, trying not to scream.*
On the other hand, this kind of… hope could get you, a mere child, accused of being… stupid, naive, gullible, or all three at once, take your pick (don’t ask me how I know). Haha, do you really believe your parents would choose you? Do you really think they’d do that for you? Where do you get that kind of confidence? You are just so stupid and gullible. Or, worse yet, these expectations of yours could get you labeled as demanding, unreasonable, or selfish… because how dare you demand that your parents choose you! How dare you ask them to set aside their own egos for your sake? For what? Just because they’re your parents? Because they love you? It’s shameful of you to ask them to abandon their principles for you! You are a disgrace! You are so selfish! You are so unreasonable! I am truly disappointed in you. Don’t you ever think about your parents' feelings? They’re already suffering enough. They have their own problems. What right do you have to demand they make concessions for you? Just because they’re your parents? That’s absurd, nonsense. You are awful. Absolutely terrible. You are a disgrace. It is humiliating, shameful, and selfish of you to demand that, to demand he choose you, to demand to choose you over something, to demand he yield to you, to demand your parents abandon their principles for you… You are so selfish to ask for something like that. You are being unreasonable and demanding; just because they’re your parents, you expect them to give up everything for you? Why do you demand even more than what they’ve already given? Don’t you realize your parents love you? No matter how they behave, they still love you! And you need to realize that! Why do you demand that they take action to prove it? Why do you insist that they listen to you, make concessions for you, choose you over something else, be honest with you, respect you, or put you first? It is shameful that you would even dare to ask for such things. It is truly selfish and childish. I am embarrassed for you. It is shameful to demand that they demonstrate their love by making concessions for your sake. You really don't understand anything at all.
In Jason’s case, he would simply be labeled demanding and unreasonable. Because how dare he hope that Bruce would abandon the most important principle of his life… all for him? On what grounds could he possibly harbor such a hope? There were no grounds; that was the answer. He had countless proofs that Bruce wouldn't do it, yet he couldn't help but hope anyway.
I mean, adults are only human, right? By nature, they are selfish. It’s foolish for children to hope their parents will choose them first, isn't it? Foolish to assume their parents might... give something up for them, for instance. Compromise for them. Make concessions for them. It’s a ridiculous notion. But you—have you truly never held that belief yourself? Have you never irrationally hoped your parents would do something for you? Have you ever hopef for your parents to put you first? Have you never experienced a moment where you thought… “Why can’t they do it for me?” Look me in the eyes and lie to me, tell me that you are different from any of us, that you’d never- ever- had a “Why can’t he do it for me?” moment, that you never expect them to love you enough to do something for you, that you never want to believe that they really care for you enough just so bad. Tell me that you’d never been so hopeful. Tell me that you are different- from him. Can you blame him for being so hopeful?
"It’s foolish to expect parents to compromise for the sake of their children"—yet looking back, that is exactly all what he did: compromise. He was ready to abandon his beliefs, the person he was, his moral code, and his very identity just to live the way Bruce wanted. He was willing to forgive Bruce time and again, to compromise with him despite everything Bruce... *gestures vaguely into the air*
Furthermore:
There was a time when Jason was literally THE hope. He was Robin, he literally embodied the symbolism of hope and light amidst the darkness, the very person who inspired Bruce with hope and an unyielding will to fight.
He’s literally THE hope everyone.
And I believe there’s even a moment in Countdown that alludes to this, where he inspires the Bruce of Earth-51, a man who had become hardened and cynical following the death of his Jason. In Countdown, there’s a panel where Jason's called “too stupid to ever give up,” later, while talking to Earth-51’s Bruce, he insists on joining the fight to help others, even though “Bruce” scoffs at the idea, calling it a suicide mission. Yet, “Bruce” eventually says “Something about the fire in you reminds me of me” and gives Jason the Red Robin costume so he can fight alongside him... oh... something just like the Dynamic Duo, Batman and Robin... something about inspiration of hope, light, and an unyielding spirit…
And then we have this panel:
"I allowed him to have hope... and it killed him."
But in the end, that’s what Bruce wanted, isn’t it? He wanted Jason to have hope; so now, it seems all the boy does is hope. Hoping for happiness, hoping for a future that is forever out of reach, that he can never have again. Because it seems Jason wants Bruce to have what he wants so badly.
(But ultimately, the fault lies with you. You are a monster, and your sin is the desire to be loved and cherished. I hope you'd regret it forever, and that the world punishes you for a sin that cannot be forgiven, daring to wish for or hope for something so unattainable. You will live in shame and humiliation, endlessly tormented for having harbored that selfish hope, and that shall be the punishment the world forever inflicts upon you.)
#mybluelanternjasonpropaganda
*Actually. "Why couldn't he do it for me? But it's Bruce yelling "Tim is not my soldier. He's my son!" "Why couldn't he do it for me?" but it's Jason seeing Bruce went to hell to save Damian and hugged him when he came back to life. "Why couldn't he do it for me?" but it's... idk, Bruce didn't hesitate for even a second to choose Harley over the Joker, to went after and save her.
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When I was little and my mother was trying to convince me writing was not the career for me, she told me that if I wanted to sell books, I'd need to write what people wanted to read and not what I wanted to write. What she as a non-writer does not understand is the sheer devious joy of discovering somebody's favourite trope.
Oh you like it when this child is tortured by the horrors and reduced to a crying, shaking, vomiting, even younger version of himself in the throes of fever? Well guess what I'm gonna put in
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(Little Drabble from the fic I’m working on. Don’t know if I’ll ever post it though.)
————————————————————
Damian POV:
There had been many nights during his time in the league where he would daydream strategize about what his family future teammates would be like.
Mother rarely used physical attributes to describe his father, but according to her, Damian shared many of his facial features.
He had hoped his father's face was kind.
Damian sometimes would sometimes like to look at his reflections in puddles like in a storybook. Watching as the ripples clear to reveal his mother's skin and vibrant green eyes.
That was the extent of the maternal similarities.
What remained however, was a face he didn't recognize.
His nose was fairly button like due to his age, and his ears stuck out from his face, as if in protest. Cheeks making dimples when he gave a small grin, and his eyes would smush together, almost becoming nonexistent.
He would smile into the reflection, pretending it was his father overjoyed to meet him.
He couldn’t bring himself to see what he would look like angry.
The Batman was whispered about in the league as a daunting figure, a shadow that witnessed all of your failures, a hammer of justice, one that would intimidate, and hurt those who made wrong choices.
Damian hoped this description was exaggerated
Mother would speak of his father as a strong warrior, a man of great honor.
Now, seeing the ever feared ‘Batman’ currently stuffing himself with Pennyworth's leftover lasagna at 2:00am, he wondered if his mother had ever even met the man.
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I will never get behind Jason leaving behind the mask to be a civilian. That boy was risking himself to stop Ma Gunn's museum heist BEFORE he was Robin! He runs into a burning building when his body should be paralyzed by the fear lobotomy Batman did to him! All because he heard a kid screaming. He was meant to be a hero! It's in his bones! In his blood! In his marrow! I will never buy into him giving up Red Hood (unless it's for a different persona) OR weird time shenanigans where he goes back and decides to quit being or never become Robin! I don't buy it! I refuse! He was built to be a hero! To save people! And I don't think he should have to stop.
