---

"You are mad at me," Ilya said suddenly from the other end of the couch.

Shane looked up with confusion at the sudden outburst. "What? No I’m not."

Ilya sighed and let his head fall back against the arm rest. "You must be. There is no other explanation."

"Why do you say that? Explanation for what?" Shane asked, letting his iPad fall into his lap. He adjusted his glasses a bit as they slipped down his nose.

Ilya crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling to keep his composure. "I have been on the couch with you for over ten minutes, and you do not touch me. You have not even looked at me. You must be mad if you do not want me."

Shane's jaw dropped slightly at the accusation. "Ilya, seriously? I’m not mad. I was focused on reading this contract for mom."

"No, is fine. I understand. You are tired of me now. Honeymoon is over," Ilya replied with another sigh, letting his head loll to the side. His voice had taken on that signature whine he only used when he was in a certain attention-seeking mood.

"Oh my god, you are ridiculous," Shane said with a huff. He knew what was going on now, and he had to resist laughing at the dramatics.

Ilya finally looked at Shane, sporting a pitiful look as if to say 'poor me' with his eyes. "First, my husband won’t touch me. Now, he says mean things about me."

"Ilya, come on. You know I didn't do it on purpose. I just get concentrated on things," Shane offered, playing into Ilya's little scene now.

"Yes, I know, but you usually still will touch me. At least acknowledge I am here," Ilya responded, sniffing at the end with a little pout on his lips.

Shane set his iPad aside and patted the couch beside him with an endeared smile on his face. He would never admit it, but Shane loved these little moments where Ilya indirectly asked for what he wanted. If a silly exchange was necessary to end up cuddling on the couch sometimes, Shane would never tell him to stop.

"You’re right. I’m sorry. I really was just focused on reading. It’s a lot of legal stuff so I had to concentrate. Come here."

Ilya let out a pleased hum and shuffled over to drape himself across Shane’s chest. His head quickly nuzzled into his preferred spot, and Ilya only had to wait a few seconds for Shane's hand to start running through his hair.

"Yes, much better. My husband loves me again."

Shane huffed a laugh before dropping a kiss on Ilya's head. "I never stopped, you big baby."

"Yours," Ilya mumbled into Shane's neck.

"Hmm?"

Ilya lifted his head just enough to kiss Shane's chin, and he repeated himself. "Your big baby."

Ilya: ... your boyfr-

and then ilya calls, has the "i'm coming to the cottage"

and shane is ??? "what cottage?"

*audible eyeroll* "scott hunter's cottage to third this new boyfriend he apparently has. YOUR cottage, hollander."

"you want to come to my cottage?" *over the moon because oh MAN even better!! ilya wants to see him so much he's ASKING!! what a score!!*

"?? you have taken another hit to the head or what? yes, hollander, can i come to your cottage this summer?"

"yeah. that would be great. oh man, we're going to have so much fun." *literally vibrating in place with joy*

and it is great! but they are also both operating under the idea that the OTHER person was the one bold enough to make this happen, which does make them very lovey dovey even faster than canon because they're both going "YOU were the one bold enough to make this happen," but they're being smushy and gross and cuddly one night after sex, and ilya just *soft smile and brushing a thumb over shane's cheek* "i'm glad you asked me to come"

and shane is still soft and warm and cozy but ?? "what?"

"i'm glad you asked me to come to your cottage."

"??? um?? no i didn't?"

*minor heart attack but also maybe?? this is a joke??* "yes, you did? in the hospital, you asked me to come."