Shazam's #1 Fan

If he happens to drop his apartment key on the ground at the park while taking the loooooooong home from practice only to realize oh no :( I’m standing outside my apartment :( alone :( with no way in :( unless someone is already here because they found my key and are now waiting inside in the dark :( to hurt me :( …… :)

That watch is the reason he rides a bike to work.

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme

Just saw someones tags that a fic had Shane at 5'3". Bitch whomst the fuck is that? Not my 5'11-6'0 200 pound brick shithouse of a hockey player? #hashtagnotmyshane

another 9 inches denied to him 😔

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift