Shazam's #1 Fan @billybatsonmylove - Tumblr Blog

it's sooo funny to have a monogamy agenda. but hollanov bring it out of me. i think shane can be normal (well, "normal") about ilya's past hookups with women in a way due to his special girlisms giving him another sense of reassurance. they don't play hockey with him, they don't have an emotional connection, there's no narrative tying them together. he's jealous of svetlana because she has this emotional connection, and it's one that's much easier than his. that being said. if he thought another player was legitimately a threat and possibly could hook up with ilya, he would break their goddamn bones.

blanklier

side effect of this is, of course, the Rumors.

"hey do you think hollander's homophobic? i swear he saw me looking at roz and i guess he might've noticed i was looking at his ass but i wasn't even flirting-flirting, but he had it out for me today"

#heated rivalry

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shanehollandersautismswag

what if shane started doing yoga to increase his flexibility because after his first time with ilya his hip flexors hurt more than anything else. but he loooooved getting folded in half like that so much (and the look that ilya always gets when they’re pressed that much closer to each other) that he decided he just needed to get better at being bendy and yoga seemed like a good way to do that. so he asked both the goalie AND the physical therapist for the metros on ways to improve flexibility, especially in his hips, but then he had to come up with a reason why he was asking on the spot bc he obviously couldn’t just tell them it was so he could be better at bottoming for his arch fucking rival and it’s not like he was going to change positions on the ice and start playing goalie, so he panicked and made up something about bad hips running in his dad’s family and he didn’t want to have to get a hip replaced in his late 30s so he was trying to get ahead of it.

so the pt gives him some specific stretches to do (some of which will also improve his already impressive back arch) but also recommends he take up yoga, and shane rolls his eyes about it later in his car (because doing it in front of the pt would be rude) but then he figures “what the hell, can’t hurt to try” and finds that he actually really likes it. it makes his brain calm down a bit, it’s not totally quiet up there but it feels more like a manageable trickle of thoughts instead of the uncontrollable tsunami that his brain usually feels like. it’s nice, he can focus on the stretch of his muscles and the way that the constant vice-like pressure in his chest loosens a bit. plus, if it will make his hookups with ilya even better, it’s gotta be worth it.

of course, ilya has no idea that shane took up yoga essentially for him, and shane’s never going to tell him because he knows ilya will tease him about it for the rest of their lives. but every time that ilya pushes his knees up to his chest when they’re getting down and dirty he gets a little spark of satisfaction and accomplishment in his chest knowing that he did this for them, he put in the work to make these moments even better. he’ll put up with ilya’s chirps about how boring he is when he does his yoga because he knows it’s so worth it.

#heated rivalry

shanehollandersautismswag

what if shane started doing yoga to increase his flexibility because after his first time with ilya his hip flexors hurt more than anything else. but he loooooved getting folded in half like that so much (and the look that ilya always gets when they’re pressed that much closer to each other) that he decided he just needed to get better at being bendy and yoga seemed like a good way to do that. so he asked both the goalie AND the physical therapist for the metros on ways to improve flexibility, especially in his hips, but then he had to come up with a reason why he was asking on the spot bc he obviously couldn’t just tell them it was so he could be better at bottoming for his arch fucking rival and it’s not like he was going to change positions on the ice and start playing goalie, so he panicked and made up something about bad hips running in his dad’s family and he didn’t want to have to get a hip replaced in his late 30s so he was trying to get ahead of it.

so the pt gives him some specific stretches to do (some of which will also improve his already impressive back arch) but also recommends he take up yoga, and shane rolls his eyes about it later in his car (because doing it in front of the pt would be rude) but then he figures “what the hell, can’t hurt to try” and finds that he actually really likes it. it makes his brain calm down a bit, it’s not totally quiet up there but it feels more like a manageable trickle of thoughts instead of the uncontrollable tsunami that his brain usually feels like. it’s nice, he can focus on the stretch of his muscles and the way that the constant vice-like pressure in his chest loosens a bit. plus, if it will make his hookups with ilya even better, it’s gotta be worth it.

of course, ilya has no idea that shane took up yoga essentially for him, and shane’s never going to tell him because he knows ilya will tease him about it for the rest of their lives. but every time that ilya pushes his knees up to his chest when they’re getting down and dirty he gets a little spark of satisfaction and accomplishment in his chest knowing that he did this for them, he put in the work to make these moments even better. he’ll put up with ilya’s chirps about how boring he is when he does his yoga because he knows it’s so worth it.

mybloodstream-caffeine

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? -> but it's Shane making a deal with his very own devil, Ilya

mybloodstream-caffeine

Adding @scunthotter's tags because they literally did all the heavy lifting for expanding this vision for me:

#heated rivalry

flwrspxce

young coltlandgentry photo 🥹

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druid-for-hire

"How do you say goodbye back home?" "We don't. We do this."

based on "dog years" by @birdadjacent

dogpuppy

He is my princess diana

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ilyapasta

A pretty good day with Shane Hollander on the Ottawa Centaurs: he's slapping your back and telling you you'll get 'em next time (the form is there, you just gotta get the reps in), he's complimenting your stick taping technique, he's giving you specific feedback on what you did well so you can replicate it, he's punching the air when you score a goal, he's saying "Fuck that was pretty, fuck yes, that's hockey, boys," he's having one to two (1-2) Molsons in the bottle out at Monks later, he's walking around with his arm around Rozanov's waist and gesturing wildly while he gushes about the power play, he's slapping the table and saying "this is what I'm SAYING" when you make a good point about Philadelphia's defense, and most importantly he's on cloud nine, practically snarling and shaking Rozanov's shoulder and saying crazy shit like— "We're going to the playoffs baby, we're going all the way. Don't give me that superstitious crap, this team can get it!"

dogpuppy

truelovevip-deactivated20190324

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

dogpuppy

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roguedeer

Being asexual and racist is embarassing as fuck. Being racist at all is obviously embarassing as fuck but the amount of racism and especially antiblackness i have been seeing from asexuals recently is obscene.

One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.

And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.

Edit: why are you all too scared to repost this. Cmon. Be vocal about being against racism

mwolf0epsilon

I'd say it's mind-boggling that members of a marginalised community, who struggle to even be seen or respected as a part of said community, would have no qualms throwing one of their own under the bus just because of something so superficial as skin color.

But then I'd just be admitting to being naive wouldn't I?

Never forget that racism is extremely ingrained in societal norms and functions to the point of it being a deep-seethed rot that needs to be combated through unity and mutual understanding/respect, not by making it a pissing contest over who is othered the most.

Being a minority in your inner circle doesn't give you a free pass to be a bigot card, and willful ignorance of your own bigotry towards your own neighbors and fellow humans will poison your heart and wither your brain so long as you refuse to learn and change.

Now go put respect on Yasmin's name. She deserves it for all the thankless work she puts into making sure we asexuals are recognised and not treated as broken or lesser than.

dogpuppy

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