rage and ruin

Rowan’s eyes were like two grey balls of fire. If looks could scorch someone, Raleigh would be ash. “Don’t ye dare blame me for yer mistakes. It’s time ye stop brushin’ the guilt of yer shoulders.” He gripped Raleigh by the neck, fingers pressing tightly against pale skin, as he turned and pushed him against the nearest wall. “Stay in yer place, wolf. Or I’ll kill ye, just like I killed him.” He shook his head. “If ye want my help findin’ out how to fix this, I will gladly give it. Otherwise, ye better go.” The blade was imbued with wolfsbane, made so it would burn werewolves and poison them. He lifted the blade up, and touched the wolf’s chin with the tip. “I’m no longer as lenient as I was before with ye. Ye’ve hurt me far too much, Raleigh. I’m no longer an ace up yer sleeve.”

It was an interesting contrast - the burning fire in Rowan’s eyes compared to the biting coldness in Raleigh’s. Artistic and beautiful as it was obscenely dangerous. The wolf let Rowan manhandle him, but reached one hand up to close around the wrist of the hand possessing the blade. Just in case. 

Levi shook his head. “As a matter of fact, I did go unconscious for several hours at a time, nearly every day. I had life experiences that altered the way I saw things, and I met people who altered the way I saw things. Stop trying.”

Finally sick of it, he shoved the wolf back and started to back away. “Your refusal to acknowledge growth tells me a lot about who you are now. A lot has changed since you left. Accept it. Move on. Grow up.”

Rowan let Raleigh manhandle him, as if he was a life-size doll, no fight in him whatsoever. He was calm, his heartbeat starting to drop. That meant he was unable to use whatever magic he had managed to gather before. But he could rationalize now, he could think strategically, remember Raleigh’s weaknesses. “I killed him with my own hands.” Rowan said, purposefully leaving out the part that he had had to give up his powers to kill Alistar. “And ye are goin’ to stay put, boy.” Rowan hissed, one hand gripping the wolf’s wrist, while the other quickly unsheathed his sickle, the blade pressing against Raleigh’s guts, the lade so sharp is cut through the fabric of his shirt, but the Druid didn’t apply enough force to break the skin.

“And if ye hope our past together will hinder me from slicing ye open like a pig, ye are very wrong, darlin’.” He narrowed his eyes, his grip tightening even further, and pulling Raleigh’s arm away. “I am a Darrach, little wolf. If ye come around to my town, killin’ people, I will send ye back from where my father took ye. No hesitation.” He was a bit surprised at how honest he was. Even if it was because he was so hurt he wanted to take some kind of revenge on Raleigh. He had other people to protect now. Derek, Levi. He wondered f the two had met already.

“Lousiana?” He asked, feeling confused. “And I’m assuming those people are hunters after you. Lets hope they don’t hire me to capture you next. I won’t mind torturing you.”

Levi both longed for this closeness, and hated it. He missed it, and wanted nothing more than to push the wolf back and surround him in wolfsbane. His hands grasped Raleigh’s shirt above his chest, but didn’t do anything. “I’m not that person anymore,” he said. “I’m not. Just like you’re not that person. You’re not the person Rowan dated. We’ve changed.”

No matter what, some things just never change - like the extent of Raleigh’s patience. Levi’s continued denial elicited a restless groan from the wolf, coupled with a roll of the eyes. He lifted his head to look Levi in the eyes, but his grip on the man’s shoulders remained firm.

     “Uh, alright, let’s clear something up here real fast. I changed because I died. I was dead. And then I wasn’t, because some time after I was dead, I was brought back to life. I could have just been unlucky, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that you don’t come back from that the same. I didn’t go on a fucking spiritual vacation. What, were you murdered while I was gone? No? Then you’re still the same person, like it or not.”

Raleigh’s return was not Levi’s fault. Raleigh’s death was not Levi’s fault. Raleigh’s resurrection and subsequent personality change was not Levi’s fault. But the fact that he’d slipped, that he’d blamed the murders on Raleigh even a little bit, scared the shit out of him. It scared him even more that, once pinned, he didn’t mind. He didn’t care. Anyone else would be on the floor, surrounded by wolfsbane. What did this wolf do to him?

“You don’t get to drag me back in,” he said, his voice hoarse but intent. “You don’t. I won’t let you. You can’t. I was doing so well.”

     “When are you gonna get that I’m not dragging you anywhere? Christ. I never did. You’ve got your own free will. You’re your own person. I’m just here to remind you that being your own person doesn’t have to mean picking and choosing.”   Raleigh breathed an exasperated sigh into Levi’s neck, and lifted his head to gingerly press their foreheads together. A stark contrast to having previously put him into a wall.      “You forget, Daniels. I’ve seen you. I’ve seen all of you. You can pretend all you want, but don’t think for a second that you can fool me. You’re not that dumb.”

“Now you did. Are you going to tell me what you have done?” He asked him. “In return, I’ll try to remember what you have missed.”

Levi wanted the old Raleigh back, the one he could banter with, the one who wasn’t…this. He pinned the wolf to the wall, and stared into his eyes. “I loved you,” he said simply. “And you did a lot of shitty things and I convinced myself that the shitty things I did were your fault and not mine, but I still loved you. The least you can do it stop pretending you didn’t know that.”

It happened instinctively - the moment his back was against a wall, Raleigh grabbed Levi by the shoulders and flipped them around to shove the druid aggressively into wall. With nothing left but a survival instinct, his defense mechanisms had been at an all time high ever since the incident. It also meant that he’d grown stronger. Raleigh paused, for a moment looking a little taken aback by the sudden switch up, as though he hadn’t done it of his own accord. Whatever. He decided to roll with it. Fingers curled around the fabric of Levi’s shirt, and he leaned in closer, using his strength to keep Levi pinned. He dipped his head, and the tip of his nose grazed Levi’s cheek almost apologetically for having been so rough. He took a deep, quiet breath, taking in the other man’s scent.       “Give me a break. What I did wasn’t shitty, and what you did definitely wasn’t my responsibility. I don’t even know how it makes you feel better thinking that. You killed those people. That was all you. You killed them, with your bare hands. That’s commendable. Nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, I was impressed.”

     “Oh, it’s you. What was it, bathroom tile? Kitchen sink? Something really dumb like that? Not a zombie, by the way - very much alive.”

“Ye disappeared after that night, and I couldn’t find ye, not even with magical rituals, so yes, I thought what I had seen had been a ghost…” He shook his head. “Ye’re not whole.” Rowan stated, and shook his head, sighing. “There’s nothin’ I can do for ye, not right now…”

The fucking nerve. The nerve of the man in front of him to suggest belief that Raleigh had returned to Beacon Hills seeking his help. There was something in the way that the wolf perceived Rowan that had changed, something that went beyond the emptiness that death had left him with. Perhaps it was that Raleigh blamed Rowan in part for his death and his loss of self. Whatever the case, Rowan’s response made him bristle. The wolf suddenly reached forward and snatched the man by the collar before tugging him forward with great force, close enough to Raleigh’s face that the tips of their noses nearly brushed. If nothing else, the emptiness had made him strong, stronger than he had ever been. Because now, he had a cause. He had something to fight for. Something had been taken from him, something more precious than anything else, and he would have it back, no matter the price. Raleigh was no longer hindered by emotion, no feelings of fear or of attachment. It was something that he had always boasted of, but now truly lived.  “You mentioned your father is dead,” he growled in a thick, guttural tone. “That’s no good. See, he took something of mine. Something that I want back. And oh, Rowan, I can promise you - I’m going to get it back. I will tear apart every life that I have to until I have it again.”