I 💖 'EM BIG(GER)

Jesse’s knee was fucked. At least, that was what the doctors had told him; although not in so many words. It meant that everything he had worked towards, for almost his entire life, was ruined. He’d ridden through college on a full sports scholarship and played football professionally. He was in the prime of his life, with big money starting to look tantalisingly close. Yet, that was never to be. It was both the best and the worst news that Jesse had ever had. But in either case, he knew that his entire future had just shifted onto an entirely different course.

Heading back to college seemed like the most logical choice for him. Unlike many of the other athletes he’d met over the years, he knew he had a good head for academia. Plus, at twenty-three, he still had a great chance of making a good career for himself. Then, without the added stress of training and games to play, Jesse knew he would also have plenty more time to really make a go of things and excel; taking on a PhD and three years of hard work ahead. His family thought he was insane. The injury had happened so recently, they thought he needed time to get used to things and try out other options. His younger brother was also trying to go professional and they wanted Jesse around to support and coach him. But Jesse had done things their way for far too long. He’d felt his father’s firm hand at his back throughout his adolescence, guiding him in a direction he had inevitably taken. Now that was all over, and it was time for Jesse to do something that was purely for himself.

I did not hit the self-destruct button! I was silenced! I’m officially an INTERNET FUGITIVE! this is my initial post just getting the word out, sorry if it’s a bit rushed and panicky - I’m trying not to get too worked up over it and just get this out there as efficiently as possible, but I’m the user behind @fatliberation. I am posting this from my feed1sm community blog, which was initially a safe haven for me to reach directly to the feed1st community without the scrutiny of non-feed1sts. luckily, it was not attached to the account that got terminated. go figure! I’ve sent an appeal request to tumblr, but I am doubtful that my blog will be reinstated because feed1sm is officially against tumblr’s community guidelines. yes, this is discrimination. here’s why feed1sm is not a fucking eating disorder.

obviously, I’m in extreme distress over this, because I did not have any of my work backed up. I’m devastated to have lost the hundreds of asks sitting in my inbox, the lists of resources I’ve compiled, and the six years worth of work in the form of replies and essays.

I know that much of my work is still out there on each of your individual blogs as reblogs. I might eventually try to organize a combing operation for specific posts so that some of it can be saved.

I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I will send updates from this blog. I will most likely make my own website with a domain that I own, but it will take me awhile. as many of you know, I’ve worked through a brick wall of deep-rooted shame to get to this point, so my blog being terminated on the account of promoting a culture of harm has caused my brain to backslide into shame-land. I’m experiencing anxiety and doubts about my character that haven’t come up in years. this termination happened during a time where I was taking a break from posting because my mental health was already on unstable ground. so it all kind of came crashing in on me. I’m okay. my friends are here for me. I know that it will take me a minute to get back up from this, but I am not going anywhere.

THEY CAN’T KEEP THIS BAD FATTY DOWN!

🐋✊⛓️‍💥

If you’re reading this, please spread this post around so my people can find me. my ko-fi account still lives.

I hope that even though much of it has been lost, the footprint it left will live on. running that blog has changed my life in immeasurable ways. getting to interact and learn from you all brought me community, acceptance, and love. I cannot express my gratitude to everyone who has supported me, and who stood behind me when I became vocal about feed1sm. you mean the world to me. I refuse to be silenced. my only ask is that you please keep spreading and circulating the fat liberation flag.

so. I’m wiping my tears and trying to think of this as rebirth. wherever I go from here, I won’t have to worry about censorship. when I got the news that it was all gone, the first thing that came to mind was this scene from pixar’s up.

In the end, it’s just a blog.

In liberation,

The first time ive moved more than like 20 steps today and it was to shove hotdogs into my gut before beaching myself at my desk again 😵‍💫