Bibi

Is eating really your hobby or are you just stressed out all the time?

My boyfriend’s aunt scolded us for being on our phones all the time, saying “millennials these days” but then they discovered snapchat filters and forgot about it

One day I’m going to tell my husband that he is going to be a dad and pull up with a dog

Y’all I just watched my boyfriend like a meme, swipe to the next one, exclaim “wait I don’t agree with that”, swipe back and unlike it

Jesus was the final boss and the easter eggs we collect nowadays are the xp he dropped

My teacher asked us what we did over the weekend and I raised my hand and said “I quit my job” and people immediately started cheering and clapping

You only ever realize how slow you are when your pet runs between your legs and out the door and you try to catch him

The sub tried to pronounce a guys name and everyone laughed and looked at him to see if he would correct her and he goes “I don’t even know how to pronounce that, I just go by kevin”

Oh god I’m so glad I can look up definitions of words on the internet because how else am I supposed to figure out what “clam” means without embarrassing myself

In psychology today, my teacher was trying to explain something and stopped talking when he realized that no one was paying attention. We were all looking at this guy just casually open his water bottle and put the cap in his mouth as if it was candy or something.